Thizz, a Love Story, page 8
“My favorite drama hands down is Scarface,” Nick volunteers. I forgot he was even lying beside me. I focus on him, his words, his smell, the warmth emanating from his body. “Goodfellas is a really close second.” I can’t help but smile as Nick rattles off a bunch of gangster movies. I’m starting to see a theme here. I wonder what Matt’s favorite movie is? Thinking of Matt causes another feeling altogether. Something I shouldn’t feel at all. “I also like Forrest Gump.” Nick rolls onto his side to face me and rests his head in his hand. “Don’t tell anyone.”
“About Forest Gump? Why?”
“Cause the guys will fuck with me.” He sounds a little vulnerable, like he just confessed a secret. Is his image so important he can’t admit he likes a movie that doesn’t involve drug dealing and mass murders?
“I like Forest Gump. Stupid is as stupid does,” I say in my best Gump voice.
“Life is like a box of chocolates…” Nick chimes in with a laugh and makes a face that reminds me of Matt. They have the same mannerisms. The way they nod their head when something is funny, like they’re agreeing with the universe. Matt even held me the same way as Nick when he hugged me at the bonfire. Being in his arms felt good. Just as good as Nick’s.
“Does Matt like Forest Gump?” I don’t know why I asked him that. I can’t help it. He’s on my mind. Part of me wishes he was lying on the other side of me right now. Oh God, I’ve reached official slut status.
“Yeah. We watched it like fifty times.” He falls onto his back.
Oh no. Why did I have to ask that stupid question about Matt? Matt doesn’t want me. He set me up with Nick. He wants me to be with Nick.
I need to do something, say something to let Nick know that I want to be here with him and nobody else. I move closer to him, and he wraps his arm around me so my head is resting in the crook of his arm. “What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?” I ask.
“Butter pecan.” Nick moans softly as I drag my hand across his chest. I’m so focused on the movement of my hand and the way Nick is reacting to it that it takes me a minute to realize what he just said.
“Did you say butter pecan?” I sit up to look at him in amazement.
“I know it’s like an old-lady flavor, but I like it.” Nick places his left arm under his head. The muscles in his arm bulge like he’s flexing. My hormones rage, or maybe it’s thizz. Something is making me want to do unspeakable things to this beautiful butter-pecan-eating creature.
I lean in close to his face until our lips are almost touching. “I. Love. Butter. Pecan.” I drag out each word.
“You know what that means?” He places his hand on the back of my head. “We were meant to be.” He pushes me slowly towards him until my mouth is on his. Nick rolls me onto my back and drives his mouth, his entire body into me. Every breath becomes a movement, every movement a new desire. I pull at his hair, squeeze the muscles in his arms, and pull him to me all at once. We are like this for an infinite amount of time. It could have been seconds that felt like minutes or minutes that seemed like hours. I don’t know how we started or why he stops. Nothing makes sense and it’s fucking awesome.
Nick lies next to me and entwines his fingers with mine. “Do you like pizza?”
It’s the most random question anyone has ever asked me. “Of course. Who doesn’t like pizza?”
“Matt,” Nick says flatly.
My heart skips a beat when he says his name. Who cares about Matt? Certainly not me. “What a freak.” I sit up and kiss Nick. He smiles against my lips then pulls me on top of him.
“I really like you, Dani,” he says softly. “I just thought you should know.”
I don’t know why Nick’s confession feels like bad news. Isn’t this what I wanted? Why I accepted the ride home, why I came to this party—because of Nick, not Matt. I have three months left of high school, so I might as well make the most of it. Nick kisses me softly. His lips move tenderly over mine and a new sensation floods my body. Dread, excitement, love. I don’t know what I’m feeling, but I like it. I like Nick.
I take a small bite of scrambled eggs, washing it down with a gulp of water. Who knew teeth could get this sore? I try to hide the pain as I force myself to chew a piece of toast. I don’t know if it was the gum chewing or the teeth grinding. Maybe both. I can barely open my mouth, let alone chew.
Lucy hasn’t said a word since I sat down. I know she’s dying to ask me about the party. I don’t even think it’s a matter of her scolding me for coming home late. She probably just wants to know if I had fun. Lucy is only eleven years older than me. She used to call herself the cool aunt. I’m not sure that title applies now that she’s my legal guardian. Was my legal guardian. Now that I’m eighteen, I’m the boss of me. I don’t need her permission to go out or date Nick, but knowing she cares keeps me from feeling utterly alone in the world.
I take another bite of the cold eggs and accidently bite my cheek. I make a small noise, which draws another look from Lucy. She drops her fork onto her plate and glares at me from the other end of the table. It catches my attention. I’m wrong. She’s not curious, she’s pissed. Her face is a mash of disappointment and anger. It’s so not her. She’s always smiling and putting a positive spin on everything. My father used to call her disgustingly optimistic.
“Look, I don’t want to pry. But you sort of suck.” I inadvertently smile at her lack of parental vocabulary. “I’m serious.” Her back straightens like she’s role playing the angry parent. “You can’t just stay out all night and not tell me anything.”
“I didn’t plan on staying out that late, but my friend was drinking and didn’t want to drive.” That’s the best I could come up with at three in the morning. “I’ll call Patty and tell her I’m sorry for missing work.” I was supposed to open the café this morning. When I didn’t show up, Patty had to rush over and open two hours late.
“Don’t bother, I told her you’d be there in an hour.” Lucy lifts her coffee mug to her mouth, tapping the side with her fingernail.
I let out a long sigh. I guess going to work at nine is better than six a.m. I was in no condition to get up when my alarm went off at five-thirty this morning.
“So, the boy that dropped you off.” Lucy smiles from behind her mug.
Here we go.
I put on a little show, like I’m embarrassed. I’m not, but I think it will make Lucy feel more parental. “That was Nick Marino, but I’m sure Patty already told you that.” I sip my water and add an eye roll for dramatic effect. The old Lucy would ask me if Nick was a good kisser or something just as embarrassing. That is something a cool aunt would do, not my guardian. I don’t want her to think Nick is irresponsible, so I tell her he had a beer at the party and didn’t feel comfortable driving me home. “He felt really bad and thought I should call you to pick me up.” It’s sort of true. Nick waited until he felt the effects of the thizz starting to wear off before he got behind the wheel. Even I had started to come down. As soon as the euphoria subsided, I kind of freaked out about the time and what Lucy was thinking, so Nick drove me home.
Lucy’s brow furrows. “Why didn’t you call me?”
“Well, I don’t have a cell phone.” I state the obvious. “And, I didn’t want to leave. I was having fun.” Lucy’s face brightens. I’ll let her think her pep talk about socializing worked. “Am I in trouble?”
Lucy glowers at me for a second and sets her mug down. “I guess not. Please call me next time and let me know you’re ok.” She takes a bite of her eggs and smiles. She looks happy now. She looks like my mom. They’re only half-sisters, but they share the same dark hair and light blue eyes. That’s all they share. Lucy is the polar opposite of my mom. Lucy is the kind of person that dances at street fairs and wears elf ears on Christmas. My mother was refined, and took herself way too serious. Sometimes I hated that about her. When I was little, I used to wish Lucy was my mom. I hate that about myself.
The walk to work feels quicker, the customers seem friendlier, and even Mary is less annoying. She flips her hair in my face as she places three empty mugs on the counter. Ok, maybe I’m wrong about Mary. She isn’t working, she’s just here to torture me after spending the morning at her mother’s salon. Mary is in full-blown makeup, fake eyelashes and all. Her dark brown hair cascades down the back of her pink sweater in perfect chocolate waves.
“Dani, sweetie, can you make Mrs. Montgomery one of your hazelnut lattes?” Patty is sitting at the gossip table in the corner. Every now and then I hear the name Marino. I don’t know if they’re talking about Nick’s grandmother, Mariann, or their business in general. Just hearing his name, in any context, sends my heart into overdrive. I want to jump on the counter and yell: I kissed Nick Marino!
“Sure.” I pull a large glass mug from a hook under the counter. I pump two squirts of hazelnut syrup into the glass and place it on the espresso machine. I’m preparing the milk when the bells above the door jingle. I pull the milk from the steamer, pour it into the glass, and realize the room has gone silent. I look around the espresso machine and find Nick standing at the counter.
He smiles so big his eyes turn into tiny slits. “Hi.” His voice is hoarse, like mine, from talking all night.
I jump back and freak out at the status of my hair. I showered this morning, but I’m a sweaty mess now. I wipe my face with a semi-clean towel and sprinkle a little cinnamon on top of Mrs. Montgomery’s drink. I place the glass mug on the counter. “Hazelnut latte.”
Nick smirks at my lack of enthusiasm. It has nothing to do with my feelings for him. I have to suppress the urge to jump over the counter and into his arms. I don’t want Patty to have a heart attack. I peek back around the espresso machine and offer a smile. “Small latte?”
“Extra foam,” he adds and places four dollars on the counter. Two more dollars than the price of the coffee. Is he actually tipping me?
I make Nick’s latte in a ceramic mug, and I make the milk extra hot so he will have to wait for it to cool down to drink. Sneaky barista trick. “What are you doing here?” I ask as I slide his drink across the bar with two packets of sugar.
Nick rips open the sugar and pours it into his mug. “I’m starting my plan.” His plan? I look at him, confused, and he arches his eyebrow at me. Holy hell, he was serious about making me fall in love with him. He is crazy and unbelievably adorable. Nick leans against the counter with his mug in his hand and looks around. Mary practically chokes on her bran muffin when he smiles at her. “Morning ladies.”
“Good morning, Nick. You’re out and about early,” Patty says in a disapproving tone.
I look at the clock; it’s ten thirty, not that early. Lucy must have called Patty and told her I didn’t get home until three in the morning because Nick was boozing it up at a party.
“I was just craving some coffee.” He winks at me. His comment causes a buzz at Patty’s table.
“How is your grandmother? I haven’t seen her in a while. Tell her to stop by and say hi.”
Nick’s face tightens at the mention of his grandmother. “I will, Mrs. Murphy.”
I’ve never heard anyone call Patty by her formal name. Even Patty is taken aback. She glares at him over the top of her glasses like he just made a smart remark.
“Patty, I’m going to take a fifteen-minute break.” I untie my apron and toss it on the counter. Patty checks the clock as if she’s actually going to time me.
Nick walks to the door and holds it open for me. He’s so sweet. Can’t Patty see that?
I choose a table farthest away from the main window and all of the curious eyes. Nick doesn’t seem to mind or even notice that we are the object of everyone’s attention. You can’t look like he does and expect people not to stare. If I’m going to be with him, it’s something I’ll have to accept. I just wish I had on some lip gloss or something, and it would be nice if I didn’t smell like bleach and coffee. I’m going to have to make an effort to look better.
“You look beautiful,” Nick says, as if he’s reading my mind. I roll my eyes. It’s a knee-jerk reaction. “I’m serious.” He runs the back of his hand down my sweaty cheek. “How do you feel?”
I felt better after I ate breakfast, but I’ve had two cups of coffee since I started my shift and I think the caffeine reignited my buzz. I’m definitely not normal. I tell Nick I feel fine.
“That was some good shit, right?” Nick takes a sip of his coffee and leans back in his chair. He looks proud, like he made the pills himself.
“It was my first time, so I don’t really have a frame of reference.” I tilt my head towards Nick and smile. See, this is not normal Dani. I’m not flirty, and this is definitely flirty.
“You’re right. We should try it again just to make sure it wasn’t a fluke. How about tonight?”
I can’t tell if he’s joking, but the thought of taking it again excites me. Lucy is working a double, she’ll be gone all night. As far she knows, I’ll be home, sleeping. Because that’s what good Dani does. She stays home, alone, and sleeps. “We could do it again, but the results won’t be accurate. We need another source. Do you know any other honest drug dealers?” I’m totally joking, but Nick looks flustered. I don’t know why I even speak. Nothing I say comes out right.
Nick clears his throat and takes another drink. His cheeks look flushed. I can’t tell if he’s blushing or if it’s just from the steam rising out of his mug. “What do you have against drug dealers?”
I hate that he isn’t getting my sarcasm. My father dedicated most of his career to helping drug dealers get a fair trial. He was always quick to defend his clients to anyone who challenged him. He said it wasn’t always about flashy cars and power. Most of them were just trying to feed their families. He also said it was a business built on desperation, fear, and violence. Drug dealers are one-dimensional, it’s all about the money. It has to be. It’s the only way they can live with the consequences of their product. Turning their neighbors and family members into addicts was a necessary evil. My father never claimed his clients were innocent. His job was to make sure they were treated fairly. That was their right, regardless of the crime. That’s the only way he could live with himself. My mother hated it. Not just because he worked the cases from a home office and had some pretty shady clients visit every now and then. She hated that he offered his services for free. My father said it offset all the shitty things he had to do for his day job. He worked as in-house counsel for a consulting firm. He hated the corporate culture, the elitist attitudes. His pro-bono work was always straight forward. No bullshit. They knew what they were getting with him. He didn’t have to play any games. He said most of his pro-bono clients were good people in bad situations. I loved that about my father. He always saw the good in people. No matter how horrible their crimes were.
“Maybe they aren’t all that bad.” Nick smiles a crooked smile. “You never know, you might even fall in love with one.”
I make a noise that’s a cross between a laugh and a snort. “You know a drug dealer that’s looking for a girlfriend?” I laugh at my ridiculous question, but Nick doesn’t join me. He looks at me like I’m the pretentious bitch Heather King said I was. “I’m joking, Nick. I get it. Drug dealers need love too.” I break into a grin. “I’m sure the guy you bought the pills from is really nice, but I’m not interested in dating him.”
“Who are you interested in dating?” A playful grin spreads across Nick’s face, causing my heart to beat like I just took a pill. I’m hoping it’s some kind of Morse code cluing me in on who it is I actually want. What I feel for Matt is nothing compared to what Nick is doing to me right now. Feeling his eyes on me is almost as good as his hands. They move over my face like the soft trace of a finger. They scan my body like he’s memorizing every curve. Nick’s eyes are like a laser, piercing through me and engraving his initials on my heart. Branding me as his.
Nick takes my hand and something amazing happens to my body. It’s like a chemical reaction, like pouring peroxide on an open wound. He feels so good it hurts.
Fear, embarrassment, self-doubt—it all diminishes when we touch. I know exactly what I want, who I want. “You,” I say. “You are the only person I want holding my hand.” Nick squeezes my fingers. “You are the only person I want to kiss.” He smiles his sexy smile and reaches for me with his perfect lips and presses them to mine.
I want to fall in love with Nick Marino and I want it to happen right now. I just need that little blue pill to help guide me in the right direction.
We break away and Nick straightens up in his seat. He takes a drink from his now lukewarm latte and says, “Tell me something about yourself, something nobody knows.”
My heart stops then starts to beat rapidly. “What do you mean?”
“Don’t you have one thing you’ve never told anyone, but you want to?” Nick leans his face close to mine, like I’m going to divulge my darkest secrets to him.
“I don’t have any secrets,” I lie. I know I will have to tell Nick about my parents eventually. This isn’t the time or the place. I haven’t told anyone. He will be my first. Just not now.
“Come on, don’t be shy.” He rubs his hand on my thigh. I don’t care how charming he is, there is no way he’s getting a single word out of me. I check my watch. Nick places his hand over the face to prevent me from seeing the time. “I’ll go first.” He smiles like I’ve agreed to something. I don’t want to divulge my secret, but I’m not going to stop him from telling me his. He lifts my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles. He runs his hand through his hair then launches into a story about a basketball game in Arcata.
“So, we win the game and Coach takes us out for dinner at this fancy restaurant. The bartender ended up being an old family friend. He spiked our Cokes with rum all night. Coach had no idea we were all wasted. The last thing I remember was getting on the team bus to head home.” He pauses and sips his latte. I can tell by the smirk on his face, he’s getting to the good part. “Keep in mind, I drank a lot.” He looks so damn cute it’s hard to focus on his story. “I woke up the next day and my bed was soaking wet.” He begins to laugh so hard he can’t finish his story.
