Thizz, a Love Story, page 2
“Earth to Dani?” Matt waves his hand in front of my face. “Do you need a ride home?”
A ride? Home? Eureka isn’t my home. He doesn’t know that. He doesn’t know anything about me. I’m a clean slate. I can be whoever I want to be. I don’t have to be the weird new girl or the stuck-up city bitch. I can be a new and improved version of me.
“Yeah, a ride would be great.” I wipe my sweaty palms down the front of my khaki cargo pants.
Matt steps to the side and opens the door. I climb into the car and marvel at the size of the enormous leather backseat.
“Where do you live?” Matt asks as he closes the passenger door.
Before I have a chance to respond, the driver’s side door opens and Nick slides into the seat in front of me. Holy hell, this is Nick’s car. Nick Marino is the most popular boy at Eureka High School, and I am sitting in his car. He is driving me home. I bite my lower lip and look around to make sure this isn’t a dream. I find that pain keeps things real. It’s one emotion you can’t fake. You can laugh when you’re sad, and cry when you’re happy, but when you hurt, you feel it. You can’t fake the hurt. Matt is turned in his seat with a smile on his face. A smile so bright and friendly that I smile with him. How did I go from hiding in the bathroom from Heather King to sitting in Nick Marino’s car with Matt Augustine smiling at me with his perfect teeth and soulful eyes? This is not my life, but I’ll take it.
Matt clears his throat. “You do know where you live, don’t you?”
I suck at addresses and phone numbers. I know where the house is, but the actual address escapes me. I picture myself writing out Aunt Lucy’s address on the yearly Christmas and birthday cards we used to send her. “Uh, three-three-two-seven Pine.”
“Are you sure about that?” Matt asks, sensing the hesitation in my voice.
I give Matt an exasperated look. “Yeah, I’m sure.” Matt has one of those friendly smiles that make you feel welcome and less like a freak. I love Matt’s smile. Did I just use the L-word?
“I’m not a human GPS. Where is that exactly?” Matt teases.
“Don’t be a dick.” Nick gives Matt a friendly nudge in the shoulder. “I was raised in this shitty town, I’m sure I can find it.”
Matt’s grin fades at Nick’s remark. He turns away from me and looks out the window. I feel bad. Nick thinks Matt’s being mean, but it’s just our thing. Not that we have a thing. I mean, we talk in class about class stuff. Other than the occasional interrogation by Heather, Matt is the only other person I’ve ever had a conversation with. I wouldn’t call him a friend. A few more discussions about music or books, and I might say we know each other. Unlike Nick. He definitely doesn’t know me or anything about me. I sort of want to keep it that way.
“What’s the cross street?” Nick’s hazel eyes smile at mine in the rear view mirror—they are a kaleidoscope of yellow, brown, and green. I look at his reflection, which gives the impression that he’s further away than he is. He’s sitting in front of me. I could reach out and touch him—touch Nick Marino. Freaking insane.
My back breaks out in a full-blown sweat, the kind that leaves marks under your arms. Thankfully I’m wearing a thick hoodie, so any pit stains I may develop are well hidden. “West Harris,” I tell him, then sink into the seat out of his view. I can’t imagine what it’s like to date a guy like Nick. The pressure to look good, speak intelligently, breathe. An hour ago I couldn’t fathom the idea of Matt asking me out, now I’m fantasizing about dating Nick Marino. I need medication.
I look out the window and see Heather King, her mouth agape, as we drive by. My ego fist pumps the air, but my brain is telling me I will pay for this later. Nick joins the line waiting to leave the parking lot and I start to wonder if this is why Matt sent the message. Did he want to offer me a ride home, or was it a set-up so I could meet Nick? My heart sinks at the idea. Nick seems like a nice guy, but we have nothing in common. A rush of disappointment fills me. I really thought Matt might like me. I’m not great at reading people, but I thought we had a connection. I suck at boys, but I know guys don’t set up girls they like with their friends.
Matt turns up the volume on the stereo and Nick swats his hand away. He presses play on the CD and “Lucky Go Leah,” one of my favorite songs of all time, by one of my favorite bands of all time, blasts through the speakers.
“Dude, not this again,” Matt complains.
“My car, my music,” Nick tells him.
Nick likes Audiodub. We actually have something in common. Something that I think is really cool. Who knew a guy like Nick would like an indie band.
Suddenly, Nick’s hazel eyes pop into the rear view mirror and I stop breathing. “Do you have to go home now? Cause we’re going to the Rack Room. You want to come?” Nick looks to Matt for backup. Matt just shrugs and gives me a half-ass smile. I can’t tell if he really wants me to go. I don’t know if I want to go. I have an hour and a half to kill before my shift at the café. I can’t think of a more terrifying way to spend it.
The Rack Room isn’t as dingy as it looks from the outside. There are a dozen pool tables lined up on one side of the building. The other side has a small area with video games and an air hockey table. They’re separated by a seating area in the center of the room next to the bar. It’s only three forty-five and the place is packed. The synthetic melodies of the video games drown out the music playing from the jukebox as the arcade fills with the same kids I just saw at school.
I try not to watch Nick walk over from the bar, but I can’t help sneaking a glance. Everyone in this place is staring in his direction. Some wave while others just gawk. He exudes more confidence than anyone I’ve ever met. When he finally turns towards our table, I pretend to watch a game of pool going on in front of me. Nick sits down with a beer in his hand and sets a soda on the table for me. Matt disappeared to use the bathroom and hasn’t returned, leading me to believe he’s giving Nick and me time alone. “Do you play pool?”
“No, but if you want to play, go ahead.” I take a sip from my soda like I’m totally fine, when I’m totally not. Practically everyone in this place is staring at our table, including three girls in the corner that have been eyeballing me since we got here. I don’t know what I’ve done to offend them, but it looks like I’m about to find out. The trio stand from the stools along the wall. One of them fusses with her boobs before they head to our table.
They walk up behind Nick, and one of them places her hands over his eyes. “Guess who?” She leans downs and kisses his cheek.
Nick pulls her hands away from his eyes with an exasperated look on his face. “What’s up, Katie.” He takes a drink from his beer and leans towards me. “Dani, Katie. Katie, Dani,” he says in that bored way people do when someone they can’t stand is in their presence.
Katie shoots me a dirty look through her overly mascaraed eyes and ignores Nick’s introduction. “So, what’s up tonight? You want to hang out?” She leans into Nick’s side, if he turns his head, her boobs will poke him in the eye.
“We’re busy.” Nick scoots his chair away and smiles at me. His rejection doesn’t faze Katie. She runs her hand over Nick’s head and starts to pull out the chair beside him. Nick stops her. “Matt’s sitting there,” he says as he holds the chair in place, denying her access to join our table.
“So what, are you with her now?” Katie looks at me like I’m gum on the bottom of her shoe. I think I finally get that saying, if looks could kill.
Nick takes a pull on his beer and tilts his head to the side with a coy smile. “No, she’s with Matt.”
“I’m not with Matt,” I say quickly, trying not to choke on my soda. I like Matt, he’s a nice guy, but we’re not together. Not that I don’t want to be with him. I don’t know. Maybe I do. I don’t think Katie really cares about Matt. She isn’t standing here with her boob in Matt’s face.
My internal rambling isn’t helping my case. I look at Nick, then to Katie. “I’m not with anyone,” I tell them both. I don’t know if I can be any clearer. Katie’s death glare subsides slightly.
“That’s good to know,” Nick raises his right eyebrow and my heart does a backflip. Why is he giving her the impression he’s interested in me? Is he trying to get me killed?
Katie shoves the chair against the table and soda splashes out of my glass. “Whatever,” she hisses and stomps away with her friends in tow.
I take a napkin from the dispenser in the center of the table and place it over the puddle of soda. “She seems nice.” I laugh nervously. “Is she an ex-girlfriend or something?”
“I barely know her.” Nick smiles and takes another pull on his beer.
I barely know Nick, and I can tell he’s full of shit. I roll my eyes and look around the room. Everyone looks away. Nick seems like a nice guy, and I bet most people wouldn’t mind the attention, but I can’t take much more of this. Just when I’m about to make an excuse to leave, Matt comes back to the table. He tells Nick that Pete—the bartender who serves minors—is asking for him. Nick leaves and Matt sits down. He looks as uncomfortable as I do. I wonder if he hates the attention too. Or maybe he’s just uncomfortable around me. I don’t think he wanted to bring me here, which sort of hurts. The longer I’m in his presence, the more I realize how wrong I was. Matt definitely doesn’t like me.
I check my watch; I have an hour until my shift. Eureka Coffee is just up the road. If I leave now, I’ll only be thirty minutes early. Any place is better than here.
“Do you have to go?” Matt asks. These are the first words he’s spoken to me since we got here.
“Yeah, I should get to work.” I stand up and see Katie nod to her girls. One of them starts to take off her earrings while the other pulls her hair into a ponytail. I look towards the door where Nick disappeared with Pete. Maybe I should wait for Nick to drive me; it’s probably safer than walking alone.
Matt stands and picks up my backpack. “What do you have in here?”
“Books.” I blush. I like to carry my favorites with me just in case I feel like reading. Maybe I can use my backpack as a weapon if Katie tries something. I hold out my hand to take my bag, but Matt slides it onto his shoulder.
“I’m going to get a workout carrying this thing.” He smiles his sweet, genuine smile.
I get really happy at the idea of Matt walking me to work. Even happier when he touches my shoulder as we walk to the exit. I look back at Katie, who seems to be settling down now that she sees me leaving with Matt. Crisis averted.
Matt and I are halfway to the door when Nick emerges from the backroom. “Hey, where you going?” he calls out and hurries towards us.
Matt keeps walking, but I stop. I don’t want to be rude. “I have to work. Thanks for the ride and the soda.” I smile a fake smile.
“I’ll drive you.” Nick places his hand on the small of my back and guides me out the door. I don’t want it to feel good, but it does. His hand on my back feels so damn good. I look back and see Katie seething. Maybe not that good. I’ve been in one fight in my life. It was in the seventh grade, and it isn’t something I want to repeat.
Matt is standing next to Nick’s car, glaring at us as we step outside. “Dude, you were drinking. You really want to drive?” I appreciate Matt’s concern, but I don’t mind taking the ride. I want to put as much distance between me and Katie as possible.
“I had half a beer,” Nick scoffs. “I’m fine.” He looks at me to make sure I’m ok with accepting a ride from a slightly intoxicated chauffer. I shrug like it’s no big deal. With that body, those muscles, I’m sure he can handle driving after a shot of tequila.
Matt holds out my backpack with a sad smile. He looks disappointed that we won’t get our walk. Part of me is sad too. I like Matt, at least I thought I did. I’m pretty sure Matt set me up with Nick, which is why he left us alone in the bar. If that were true, he wouldn’t be trying to stop me from riding in Nick’s car. I’m almost positive it has nothing to do with Nick’s blood alcohol level. Boys are harder to figure out than the Pythagorean Theorem. I want to walk with Matt; he makes me feel safe, comfortable. I like comfortable. I take my backpack from Matt and turn to Nick, who looks like he just won a bet. Those eyes smiling at me feels like riding a bike with no hands. It’s scary, but I don’t want to grab the handlebars just yet. I want to see what happens next. Nick moves to open the door when his cell phone rings. He takes it out and flips it open.
“See you Monday, Dani.” Matt waves and offers me a small smile.
I look at Nick as he walks away from the car on his call. I can’t hear what he’s saying, but he has a serious look on his face. The call doesn’t look pleasant. I’m grabbing the handlebars now.
I close the car door and slide my backpack strap on my shoulder. Nick looks up and ends his call. He hurries back to me and gives Matt a perturbed glance. I don’t want to make this awkward. “I can walk from here,” I tell them as I start towards the intersection. Nick tries to protest but I stop him. “I don’t want Katie hunting me down and killing me.” I’m only partially kidding. “You should stay.”
“Don’t even worry about that girl, she’s just putting on a show. We’re not together or anything.” Nick nudges Matt to back him up, but Matt just shrugs. His silence tells me he doesn’t want me to take the ride from Nick. Maybe he knows something I don’t.
“Thanks, but I’d rather walk.” The light turns green and I start across the street. “I’ll see you in class, Matt.” Nick looks disappointed, but Matt is smiling at me. Once I’m safely across the street I look back to make sure I’m not being followed. Nick is walking back into the Rack Room, but Matt is still standing in the parking lot, watching me. For some reason I feel safer knowing he’s there. I speed walk to the next light and exhale when I turn back to see the parking lot is empty. As much as I would’ve liked a walk with Matt or a ride from Nick, this is the safer decision. I’m all about being safe.
I pull a pillow over my head and try to ignore the incessant ringing coming from the desk. There is a girl in a bikini waiting for me in the dream I was just ripped from. My phone goes silent and my body relaxes back into sleep mode. Just as the world starts to fade, the ringing starts again. I jump out of bed and grab my cell. “What!” I scream, ignoring the caller ID.
“Dude, get up. I’ll be there in five minutes.”
I should’ve known it was Nick. No good morning, just get up I’m on my way. Only he can get away with this kind of shit. It isn’t just me—everyone obeys him. I like to think I’m different though, that he somehow respects me more than the other guys. I did save him from being kissed by Molly Wells in kindergarten. Even at five, she had a mustache. He still owes me for that one.
“Matty!” Ashley yells as she opens my door.
“Ash, a little privacy, please.” She pauses while I pull on a pair of jeans. “Ok, come in.”
She bursts in my room and jumps on my bed. “Mom wants to know if you’re coming with us today,” she asks as I leave the room to take a piss.
Damn. St. Joseph’s Hospital has a yearly ceremony for the volunteers, and this year Ashley is being honored. If it were me, I’d never step foot in that place, but she can’t stay away. Ashley had leukemia and is in her second year of remission. She spent half her life in and out of the hospital, so I guess it’s the only thing she knows. If she stays cancer free, she will return to school in the fall. I hope once she’s around healthy kids, she overcomes her obsession with the sick ones.
I return from the bathroom and find Ashley curled up in my bed. She’s fourteen, but seems so much younger. She’s the strongest person I know, yet she still seems so fragile, like a cracked windshield ready to shatter into a million pieces.
“I can’t. Nick’s coming.” I hate seeing the disappointment in her face. “I still don’t get why you hang out there so much. Isn’t it depressing?”
She throws aside my comforter and gets up. “Yeah, that’s why I do it. I try to make it less depressing. I wish someone would have done the same for me.” My little sister has the guilt trip thing down to a science. She snoops through a pile of CDs on my desk while I put on my shoes.
“Don’t you have a better way to spend your time? Wouldn’t you rather be outside?” I pluck a CD from her hand and put it back in the stack. She knows I hate when she touches my stuff.
“I go outside,” she protests. “The hospital has a really nice courtyard. You’d know if you ever visited me.”
Ouch. There is only so much guilt I can take. I’m about to call Nick and tell him I’m busy when I hear his car rumbling outside. Too late. I know it’s wrong, but its way easier to flake on my forgiving sister than it is to tell Nick I can’t hang out with him. Ashley’s already forgiven me for so much worse.
“Hey, I’ll make it up to you.” I grab my Stanford sweatshirt from the back of the chair and kiss Ashley on top of her head.
“I know you will.” She sits in my chair and spins around.
“Don’t steal my CDs and we’ll see,” I warn as I run out the door.
Nick is all smiles when I get in the car. “What up!” He holds out his hand and we perform the handshake we made up in the fourth grade.
“Where we going?” I ask, feeling shitty about missing Ashley’s day. This better be important.
“I need you to come to San Francisco with me.” Nick backs out of the driveway before I have a chance to object. “I’m meeting my uncle. We’re picking up some inventory.” Nick’s uncle Will is a mid-level gangster in San Francisco. He has a bar in North Beach that he uses to front his real business—weed.
“What the fuck. I don’t wanna get involved in all that.” The car rumbles to a stop at the light and I consider jumping out, but it seems like such a chick thing to do.
“How much weed are you holding for me right now?” Nick raises his eyebrow in that way he does when he knows he’s right.
Ok, so I have an emergency stash hidden under a loose floorboard in my closet. I sure as hell don’t want to know where it comes from or be an accessory in its transport from San Francisco to Eureka. “Dude, I can’t get busted.” I sound like such a punk.
