Thizz, a Love Story, page 6
Nick runs his hand through his hair again. “So, do you think you can go?” His right eyebrow arches, and the hairs on my arm stand at attention.
No, no way. Lucy will freak out if she comes home and you’re gone. You can’t leave this house.
I hear cheering in the front room. Nick must be here—time to work. I splash water on my face and open the bathroom door. Two girls squeeze past me and slam the door. I don’t know how long I’ve been hiding in there, but the line is all the way down the hall. After K’s NASCAR-level driving from the beach to his house two blocks away, I was spinning. I felt better after dunking my head in a sink of cold water.
I find Nick in the kitchen with K. He pulls the bag of pills out of his pocket and opens it. “Tell Troy I said welcome home.” Nick places half a dozen pills in K’s hand. Troy is K’s older cousin. He just finished his first year of college and is home for the summer. He’s six foot two and close to three hundred pounds. He plays defensive end for Washington State. I don’t think he’s ever said more than five words to me that weren’t:
Get the fuck out of my way.
Hey, fag, did your boyfriend pick that outfit for you?
Or my favorite: What are you buying me for lunch today?
Troy was the meanest bully Eureka High has ever seen. Everyone sleeps easier now that he’s gone. From what I’ve read about thizz, I’m anxious to see how it will affect Troy’s naturally volatile demeanor.
“Have you tried it?” K asks while pumping a beer from the keg in the middle of his kitchen floor.
“Not yet.” Nick smiles at me and hands me a pill. I didn’t realize I’d actually take one. I was so juiced about the music I forgot the real reason we were here. The pill is smaller than your average headache medicine and has a chalky feel to it. Each one is stamped with a dolphin. “That’s sort of lame. Why not a shark or something? It might as well be a fuckin’ goldfish.” We laugh at Nick’s lame association, but neither one of us take the pill.
“What are you bitches doing in here?” I freeze when I hear Troy’s voice. He reaches around me for the freshly pumped beer in K’s hand.
K hands him the beer. “Have you heard of thizz?”
“You punks never thizzed?” Troy scoffs. He stops laughing when K holds out his hand to show him the pills.
“Welcome home,” Nick says to let him know he is to thank for the freebies. Troy never disrespects Nick, but he doesn’t really like him either.
Troy nods to Nick as he swipes the pills from K. “Li’l bitches,” he mumbles as he leaves the kitchen.
“Fuck him.” K whispers so Troy doesn’t hear. “Let’s do it.” K grabs a cup to pump another beer. Nick and I smile like we’re ready, but I hesitate. I see Nick pause, too. K is about to pop the pill in his mouth when the doorbell rings. “I better get that.” K palms his pill and hurries to the door before his cousins scare off the guests.
“We should wait for K,” I suggest.
“Ok, but if anyone asks, it’s the best shit you ever had.” He winks as the kitchen fills with people. He leaves to go mingle and I stay behind to freak out.
I palm the pill and wonder if I can get away with not taking it. Once the party gets started, Nick will be busy making sales and fighting off chicks. I doubt he’ll even care whether I take it or not. Tonight, I’ll be an observer. I’ll take notes on how people react to the pills, how long the high lasts, and I’ll report it all back to Nick. I really don’t know how else I can contribute to Nick’s business. I’m not a drug dealer. Hell, I’m not even a user. None of us have ever done anything other than weed. In Humboldt County, the consensus is that marijuana should be legal, so it never felt wrong. Cocaine and meth are pretty much limited to the tweakers and freaks that live on the edge of town. Popping a pill is a whole new level for all of us.
I’m smashed between a couple of giggling girls and a massive guy in a dark hallway; we’re all waiting for the bathroom. Lucy is going to kill me. I keep thinking about the note I taped to the inside of the front door. Lucy always puts the chain on when she gets home, so she won’t miss it. I said I was invited to a party but I didn’t tell her who I was with or where I was going. She shouldn’t object to this. She wanted normal. I’m giving her normal. I mean, this is normal right? I look at the girls in front of me; they look normal. The guy looks, uh, huge. He catches me eyeing him and smiles. I look past him, down the hall like I’m looking for someone. I don’t know anyone here except Nick. I don’t even have to use the bathroom. I just felt overwhelmed walking into a house full of strangers wondering who the hell I am and how I ended up on the arm of Nick Marino. I’m still trying to figure that out myself.
The bathroom door swings open and Matt walks out.
Matt.
Something inside me lights up at the sight of him. Maybe it’s just the idea that I know someone besides Nick. He stumbles down the hall and disappears into the living room before I even have a chance to call his name. He didn’t look like he was up for small talk. He wasn’t all that pleasant when I saw him earlier. He looks even worse now.
After I use the bathroom I walk back to the living room to find Nick. I really don’t want to jump back into his spotlight, but he’s the reason I’m here. The only reason.
“Hey, there you are.” Nick pulls me into his arms and kisses my forehead. “This is Dani.” Nick is beaming at me as if I’m the source of his light. I really do have him fooled.
“I’m K, welcome to my home.” K shakes my hand. “Can I get you a drink?”
“Nah, she doesn’t drink.” Nick winks at me.
“I don’t?” Do I look like the kind of girl that doesn’t drink? How pathetic.
Nick looks flustered. “I guess…I just…you didn’t want a beer at the bonfire, so I just thought you didn’t drink.”
Yeah, I declined a beer at the bonfire earlier, only because I wasn’t sure one of the girls hadn’t spiked it with poison. “I don’t drink beer,” I smile.
Nick raises an eyebrow at me. “Alright, get my girl a drink.” He puts his arm around me and pulls me close. He seems happy to learn I’m not a non-drinking geek. I just hope he doesn’t expect me to do shots or something. I’ve had alcohol—a glass of champagne on New Year’s Eve, a sip of my mother’s wine at a fancy restaurant. I’ve just never drank socially. I’ve never done anything socially, like go to a house party or a bonfire.
K disappears to get me a drink that isn’t beer, and a group of guys bombard Nick. I know one of them. Nick shakes his hand then turns to introduce me. The way he does it feels like something formal. Like he’s announcing I’m taken. It’s sort of possessive, but it makes me feel special. “Dani, this is my boy, Arnie.”
Arnie licks his lips and looks me up and down, like he’s trying to place me. He is disgusting.
“We have English together,” I remind him so he can stop staring. I don’t offer my hand for him to shake like I did with K.
Arnie snaps his fingers and says, “That’s right. You’re the new chick.” He continues nodding his head as if he’s answering a question in his mind.
It’s annoying. He is annoying.
“Can you really consider me new? I started school in February.” I don’t know why I’m challenging him. He isn’t worth it.
“You’ll always be the new girl.” Arnie takes a gulp from his red cup and walks away.
His words sting a little, but he’s right. I will never fit in here. I don’t want to. I have a plan. I’m sticking to my plan.
This party is not in my plan.
Nick motions for me to follow him and we head out of the living room, down the hall, into a bedroom.
Whoa.
Nick closes the door behind us. My pulse races.
Nothing about this feels right.
There’s a knock on the door. Nick opens it. K hands him a cup and smiles, then closes the door.
Holy shit, what is going on?
“Sorry, Arnie can be a douche sometimes.” Nick hands me the cup and leans against a white wicker dresser with his thumbs in his front pockets.
I take the cup and sniff it. It smells like vodka and orange juice. Who knows what else is in there.
Nick wouldn’t drug me, would he?
“Why don’t you sit down?” Nick motions behind me to the bed.
He’s crazy if he thinks I’m that easy. “I think I better go.” I put the cup on the nightstand and reach for the door.
“Wait.” He steps in front of me and I jump back. I don’t know any self-defense, it’s the one class my mother never signed me up for. But I know where to kick a guy to put him down. “No, oh no!” He opens the door. “It’s not like that. I just thought we could…it’s quiet in here. I wanted to talk. That’s it. Just talk.” He tries to take my hand, but I jerk it away. The back of my legs are up against the bed. If he wanted, he could knock me down and jump on me in a matter of seconds. If he wanted to. The thought sends a shiver up my back. I’m not exactly sure if it’s the bad kind.
“I’m sorry. We can keep the door open.” Nick pushes the door until the knob hits the wall. “I won’t touch you.” He backs away from the door and walks around the bed to the other side of the room. “See, you can leave anytime you want.”
My cheeks flush. Of course Nick isn’t a rapist. I bet girls line up to sleep with him. “I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have brought you in here. It’s just loud out there, and I really want to spend time with you. Without Arnie or anyone else bothering us.”
I’m probably the only girl at this party afraid to be alone with Nick Marino. I should be grateful I’m even here. He could be in this room with a girl that wants to be ravaged by the hottest boy in school. Instead he’s stuck with me, and from the look on his face, he’s regretting it. I need to keep the façade going. I don’t want him to see the huge mistake standing across the room.
I relax my shoulders and lean against the wicker dresser like I’m cool, like I belong here. Nick is leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the room. We’re separated by the bed. Gulp.
“Whose room is this?” The bed is small, full-size at most. It’s draped with floral bedding and matching throw pillows. Beside the bed is a small white nightstand with a seashell-covered lamp. It’s the only source of light in the room.
“K’s family rents it…” Nick stops mid-sentence and takes a sip of his beer. “These units come furnished.”
“Your family owns this house?” I pick up my drink and sit on the edge of the bed. I smell it one more time and wet my lips with the contents.
“They own the block.” They he says, not we. He really does disassociate himself from it all. “Look, I hate talking about my family.” Nick sits on the other side of the bed. It’s nice to know he’s just as uncomfortable talking about family as I am. It’s another thing we have in common.
“What do you want to talk about?” I take a sip of my drink and pretend it isn’t burning my throat.
Nick runs his hand through his hair and smiles the sexiest smile I’ve ever seen. A smile that tells me the idea of being thrown on the bed and ravished by this boy is not what I’m afraid of. I’m not scared he will. I’m worried he won’t.
“Have you ever heard of thizz?”
I lean against the wall in the living room, watching the crowd. The keg is flowing, blunts are being passed. I haven’t seen Nick since the kitchen an hour ago. I wonder if he’s hooking up with someone already. Part of me wants it to be true, and part of me doesn’t. I don’t want him to hurt Dani, but my life would suck a lot less if he did. I can’t get her out of my head. The way she smelled when I hugged her. The pissed-off look on her face when I let her go. I’m a fucking idiot. She doesn’t want me, she never did.
K puts on one of the CDs I made and cranks it up. During my thizz research, I found a bunch of songs about the drug and downloaded them from LimeWire. If the pills are a bust, I can probably make some money selling bootlegged CDs. The hard-hitting bass and raspy lyrics confuse the crowd. Only K’s cousins and a few other people know the words and sing along. By the time the second verse hits, half the party is on their feet. Troy and the other cousins, who haven’t moved from the sofa, are now socializing with the rest of the guests. The pills we passed out must be kicking in. Fifteen minutes ago this was a room full of strangers, now people are treating each other like long-lost friends. Lots of hugs and high fives going around the room. Hell, I’m even smiling, and I haven’t taken anything.
The CD is on its second rotation when Troy turns it off to make a toast. He stands in the middle of the room, holding a bottle of Hennessy towards K. “Cuz, you’re like a little brother. I can’t tell you how much it means to have you throw this party for me.” He pounds his fist against his enormous chest and looks to be fighting back tears. “I love you, bro.” He reaches for K. They hug as the crowd oohs and aahs. Troy’s brothers join them, turning the hug into a mountain of flesh and frizzy hair. Then one of them jumps back and says, “Let’s get hyphy in this bitch!” They break apart and K turns the music back up.
Watching the crowd become overtaken by thizz isn’t like watching someone chug a beer or take a shot. After a shot, your body shivers in disgust. When the thizz hits, everyone in the house looks like they are having the time of their lives.
I spot Nick walking into the kitchen and make my way through hands and bodies to reach him. I have to fight off two chicks that want desperately to make me the meat in their dance sandwich. I slap away their roaming hands and stumble into the kitchen. “Fuck! There are some aggressive chicks out there.”
“I guess that answers my question.” Nick laughs.
I look at Nick like he’s speaking another language. “What question?”
“I was going to ask if you took your pill, but you wouldn’t be bitchin about getting gang-raped by some wasted chicks if you did.” Nick looks past me towards the girls dancing like strippers in the doorway. I realize it’s the notorious Martinez twins—Alisa and Amy. They’re not really twins, just cousins. They look like rejects from a rap video, grinding on each other in a way that I’ve only seen on cable television. Neither of them have ever looked in my direction; now they’re all over me.
“What are you thinking? The one on the right?” The question is a test. I want to see how serious he is about Dani.
“Alisa Martinez, huh? She is hot.” Nick grins and nudges me with his elbow. “She’s all you, Matty.”
“You’re right, the one on the left it more your type.” The girl on the left puts a lollipop in her mouth then takes it out slowly, letting the tip linger between her lips before sucking it back in. Even I’m getting turned on.
“Nah, I’m good.” Nick turns back to the cup on the counter like there aren’t two hot chicks ready to drop to their knees a few feet away. “Actually I wanted to tell you…”
He didn’t bite, but he’s sober. All of that will change once we take a pill.
“Let’s do it.” I take the pill from my pocket and hold it up. Nick stops talking and offers me the cup in his hand. I take a huge gulp and fight the urge to gag. “Oh, shit! Why the fuck are you drinking vodka?” I grab a beer from the ice chest on the ground and pop the top on the edge of the counter. I take a long drink, and fear starts to resonate over what I’ve just done.
“It’s not for me. I was trying to tell you that I brought…”
Nick is saying something, but I can’t focus on him. I just took a pill. A drug. An illegal drug. I’m freaking out.
Nick will be back any second, and I still haven’t decided if I want to take ecstasy with him. I have no formal opinion on drug use. It’s never been offered to me. I’ve never been invited into a group passing a joint back and forth. I guess if I did smoke, I’d just jump in line and wait my turn. See, I don’t even know the protocol. Heather was right, this is not my scene. I was joking when I told her I went to book clubs, but I really wish there was a room full of book nerds out there discussing plot twists. Not a house full of teenagers indulging in drugs and dancing to rap music.
The door opens and Nick walks in the room. He closes the door behind him. Being alone with Nick is the least of my worries. He hands me a fresh drink and a little blue pill. “It’s my first time too,” he tells me. “It’ll be like a milestone for both of us. Something we’ll always remember.”
I like the idea of sharing a milestone with Nick, but I was thinking more along the lines of first love. “I don’t know.” I look at the clock. “It’s getting late.” It’s half past eleven. Lucy will be home soon. I’m not feeling as confident about the note I left her and the way she’ll react when she gets home and finds me gone.
“Look, I’m not trying to force you into something you don’t want to do.” Nick places his hand on my knee and warms my entire body. “We can leave. I’ll take you home before shit gets too out of hand. I don’t know how hard it’s going to hit me.” It sounds like Nick is going to take a pill whether I do it or not. Which means someone else will replace me in this milestone.
I look at the pill and wonder what back-alley lab it was made in. Who knows what has been packed into this thing. “What is it exactly?”
“It’s ecstasy. And I’m told it’s pure. Real good shit.” Nick looks at the pill in his hand. “Honestly, I have no idea what to expect, but everyone out there seems to be having fun, so I think it’s safe, and I trust the guy I got it from.” Nick seems confident about that. But whoever sold him the pill was just trying to push their product. I wonder if he’s in the living room. Seeing who is selling these things might make me feel a little better about taking it.
“So, you’re telling me you bought drugs from the world’s only honest drug dealer?” Nick sucks in a breath, like I just punched him in the stomach. He sort of smirks and shakes his head. I think he’s insulted, like I’m implying he’s been duped. If a portal to an unknown land opened up in this room right now, I would jump through it and never look back.
