Thizz, a Love Story, page 21
“I know what you said but—”
“But nothing!” Will raises his voice, causing some unwanted attention.
I take a few steps away and pull my hood over my head.
“How many times have I told you that you need to graduate from college? How many times, Nick?”
“A lot,” Nick says quietly.
“So, what the fuck is this shit about not going?” He throws his hands in the air and shakes his head like Nick is the biggest disappoint of his life. “Did you apply to any schools?” Will stares Nick down.
Nick shrugs and shakes his head. I don’t think he’s ever felt as bad about anything as he does right now. Will kicks at the ground, then opens his truck door and slams it shut. He throws the biggest bitch fit I’ve ever seen. I doubt Nick’s ever taken this type of abuse. Unlike Arnie. We’ve all seen Arnie getting yelled at by his old man. He’s a high-strung ex-military guy. When you go to Arnie’s place, you expect to see some sort of confrontation. Arnie’s father would pace back and forth in their small house screaming orders to Arnie like he was a private in boot camp. To make matters worse, Arnie always, and I mean always, talked back, which drove his old man even more insane. I’ve seen Arnie tossed out the front door, thrown against a wall, and verbally abused by his father more times than I can remember, but I’ve never felt as bad for Arnie as I do for Nick right now. I’m waiting for Nick to come to his own defense, to tell Will to fuck off or something. But he just stands there and takes it.
“Do you realize what this means?” Nick’s eyes stay transfixed on the ground. “It will take that much longer to get the money!” He screams at Nick like he’s nothing—a nobody.
I finally get it. Will is referring to Nick’s inheritance. The Marino’s have this rule. You can’t get your inheritance unless you graduate from college with a degree. I’m just wondering why Will cares so much. Why is he’s so invested? Unless he is. Does Nick plan on going into business with Will?
“I’ll make it right,” Nick promises.
“God damn right you will. We didn’t work all these years to lose it in the home stretch. Don’t do what your old man did. Don’t fuck this up.” Will grabs Nick around the neck and kisses the top of his head.
That was a low blow. Everyone knows Nick hates being compared to his father.
“I won’t. I guess I thought I could get a jump-start on the business now with the money I got for my eighteenth. With the way things were going, I could have tripled it in a year,” Nick starts to explain, but Will cuts him off again.
“Patience, nephew.” He nods his head in my direction like I’m not supposed to know what they are up to. I don’t want to fucking know.
“So, how was your party?” Will walks back to the door of his truck with his arm around Nick’s neck. I’ve never seen anyone play with Nick’s emotions like Will Walker. He goes from an abusive thug to a loving uncle in the blink of an eye. “I hope you at least got laid!” Will looks at me. “I hope you had some fine girls lined up for our boy.”
I sort of laugh in a shut-the-fuck up kind of way.
“It wasn’t like that. I have a girlfriend,” Nick reminds him. “I really want you to meet her.”
“Yeah, sure.” Will opens his door and gets inside. “I’ll call you next week. You better have a plan to get into some kind of fucking school. Have granny pull some strings.”
“I’ll take care of it,” Nick assures him. I guess this is a good thing. At least now Nick is motivated to go to college, even if it’s just to please his asshole uncle.
Will points at Nick and smiles. “I have faith in you, kid.”
Nick beams at his uncle’s approval. I feel sick.
“And you.” Will points at me. “Take care of our boy!”
I keep my hands in the pockets of my jacket and give him a nod. “Yeah, of course.” What a prick.
I hate the way Will just had Nick groveling for his approval. I can’t believe Nick doesn’t see it. He’s blind when it comes to Will. What’s worse is that I can’t say shit about it. Will is the closest thing Nick has ever had to a father. He can do no wrong.
We get in Nick’s car and head to the café. There is only one thing that may change Nick’s mind about school, and that’s Dani. She deserves better than a drug dealer for a boyfriend. We’re at the light waiting to turn into the parking lot of the strip mall when Nick pulls an envelope from under his seat and hands it to me.
“What’s this?”
“It’s for Stanford.”
I open it and look inside. There is at least a year’s worth of tuition in my hand. I look at Nick; he’s staring straight ahead with a smile on his face. I didn’t earn this. Saying I’m in Nick’s crew and putting in work are two different things. Arnie is the one out there selling and risking his life, not me.
“I don’t know if I can take this,” I force myself to say.
“It isn’t a gift. This is your cut.” My cut should be somewhere around nine or ten grand. This looks like five times that. I want to mount some sort of argument, but I don’t know how to refuse the money without insulting him.
“Really? Business is this good?” I ask just to hear him say yes. Just so my weak ass can keep the money. “Are you sure you can afford to pay me after what Will said about closing shop?”
Nick scoffs at the question. Nick can afford to pay all four years of my tuition plus housing. He doesn’t need drugs to make money. All he has to do is go to the bank.
“You earned it for having my back.”
“I’ll always have your back, dude.” He doesn’t need to pay for my friendship.
We navigate through the parking lot and my eyes go directly to the café out of habit, not because I’m desperate to see her. I’ve stayed away from her all week. I said too much at Nick’s party. Things got way too intense, but that’s over now. I’m not giving her anymore pills, and I’m going to keep my distance. I tell myself it’s the right thing to do—for her. But I’m really doing it for me. It’s too hard to be around her now. She told me she loved me. She was whacked out of her mind, but I know she meant it. Then she went home with Nick. I can’t play this game with her emotions or mine.
Dani walks out the door and I look at Nick. He sees her too. His tunnel vision almost causes him to hit a shopping cart.
“Whoa!” I yell just as Nick swerves out of the way.
“Damn, Matty!” Nick points to the floor. The money from the envelope is scattered at my feet.
“Oh shit.” I reach down and start scooping bills as Nick parks the car.
Nick leans over to help. He names each bill as he goes. “This is English, this one is math, and this bad boy is art history.”
“Art history?”
“Yeah, you need some place to meet girls.”
“Very funny.” I snatch the money from his hand and put it back in the envelope. “What about you? Why is Will so interested in you going to college anyway?” I try to sound clueless.
“Because it’s a sweet deal—a college degree to be set up for life.” I don’t know how much Nick will inherit, but it’s a lot.
“I thought you wanted to make your own money? You’ve been preaching that for years,” I remind him. I always thought he was full of shit. I want to hear him say it.
“In the back of mind I always knew I would take the money. I was going to apply to barber college or something just to fuck with Mariann.” Nick opens his door and gets out. “I just wanted to do it my way, you know?”
“Sounds like it’s Will’s way,” I say sarcastically and regret it immediately.
“Hey, Will’s just looking out for me. And he’s right, I’m being the asshole. I don’t want to be like my father. He was three credits away from graduating and quit. I’d be just like him to walk away and get nothing. There is no shame in taking the money. Not when it’s that much money. I can buy myself some pride later,” Nick jokes, but I know it kills him to take anything from Mariann. Nick is prideful to a fault.
“I thought your dad graduated.” That’s what I heard anyway.
“Nah, he never finished. After football was over, he started getting high; that’s around the time he met my mom. He wanted to go into business with Will, but he fucked up. He couldn’t stop using. And well, you know.”
“Yeah.” I nod. The rumor is he went on a binge right after Nick was born. Maria finally reached out to Mariann for help. Mariann agreed to take them in, but only if he went to rehab. He died a few weeks later. I really hope Nick isn’t trying to finish what his father started. “Do you plan on going into business with Will?” I ask as we walk towards the café.
“I don’t know. I might branch out on my own.”
He can’t do that. I won’t let him do it. Not to himself and not to Dani. “What does Dani think about all this?” I look in the café and see her wiping down the counter.
Nick stops walking and pulls my arm. “Hey, dude. You can’t say anything. She doesn’t know how deep I’m in. She thinks this is a part-time thing.”
So did I. Nick needs to know he can’t stay with Dani and keep his business. “Has Dani ever told you about her father?”
“What do you mean?”
I know I shouldn’t tell him about Dani’s father being a lawyer, but he needs to know where her head is. I tell him about her dad’s practice and his views on drug dealing that seemed to be passed to Dani. “I know she gets it, she gets you. But Dani sees dealing as a last resort in life, not a career choice. She thinks you’re out come graduation. If you plan on staying in business, you need to let her know now.”
Nick runs his hand through his hair. “I just can’t walk away, Matt. I tell myself every day that I need to stop. That I’m going to get myself killed or locked up, but I can’t stop. It’s a rush better than thizz.”
It hurts to hear my best friend tell me dealing drugs makes him happy. “Well, if you want to be with her, you have to choose. She deserves better.” Nick knows I’m not trying to put him down. He knows Dani deserves better than the life he would give her if he stays in this game. She’ll always be looking over her shoulder, waiting for someone to use her to get to Nick.
“I know I have to let her go.” Nick looks into the café like it’s a million miles away. “I know.”
I almost can’t believe what Nick is saying. He would rather break up with Dani than quit his business. I want to punch him in the face, tell him he’s a fool. I should. But I don’t. If he’s willing to let her go, then he doesn’t deserve her.
“So, what else did she tell you about her parents?” Nick sounds a little hurt that I know something about Dani that he doesn’t. I do, I know a lot. I know her last name isn’t DiMarco…I realize she never told me what her real last name is. The bikers came, then she went home with Nick, and I guess I forgot about it. Thizz is turning my brain to Swiss cheese.
“Uh, just that they were killed in a carjacking.” I can’t think about that without thinking about Will’s witness, even though I’ve decided it can’t be Dani. Those cops wouldn’t lie and put someone in danger like that unless she was in protective custody.
“Oh man. That’s fucked up.” Nick runs his hand through his hair.
“Don’t tell her I told you.” I grab his arm, suddenly aware that I just broke her trust.
“Of course, dude.” He doesn’t ask when she told me, and I’m grateful.
I check my pocket to make sure the envelope is still inside. I’ve never held this much money in my life. “You sure you can afford to give me this? If you’re branching out on your own…”
“Shut the fuck up.” He grabs me in a headlock, then let’s go and pulls me in for a bro hug. “Hell, you’re the best investment I’ll ever make. You know I’ll need a good lawyer someday.”
We both laugh, but in the back of my mind, I hope it isn’t true.
The café is packed; a low rumble of voices fills the room. The clientele has changed a lot in the last month. It looks like the yard at lunch in here. Heather stopped by earlier. Her mother was attached to her side so we really couldn’t talk. She told me she got into the University of San Francisco. The news sent my heart into spasms. I still haven’t heard from CAL.
Nick and the guys are sitting in the corner talking, and even from behind the counter I can catch bits and pieces of their conversation. Nick is trying to sell Arnie on the idea of moving to Chico. I want to tell them to keep it down. Patty is in the back. The last thing I need is for her to catch the guys planning their next drug deal in her café.
“Imagine the possibilities. College girls, dude. They’ll fucking love you. I’ll set you up in a house off campus. All you have to do is party.”
“I’ll think about it.” Arnie bows his head. I can tell he hates disappointing Nick.
“You’ll think about it? What the fuck does that mean. I need you in Chico.” Nick’s been edgy ever since his party. We all have. Nick’s almost out of pills, so we haven’t partied at all. And Matt cut me off. He said it’s because they’re low, and Nick’s watching his stash, but I think it has to do with something else. He knows we slept together. It isn’t like Nick broadcast the information. Matt actually showed up at Lucy’s in the morning with some lame excuse about dropping off the keys to the beach house. He’s been standoffish with me ever since. I don’t know why. Arnie gave us a nice play by play of their night with the sluts, which involved whipped cream and a bottle of caramel.
The bell above the door jingles, and Alex coughs MILF into his hand. I look up and see Lucy strut through the door, dressed in her scrubs. Alex and I don’t really speak. He doesn’t speak to anyone. He just watches, and that creeps me out. He creeps me out.
“Hey, that’s Dani’s aunt. Show some respect,” Arnie scolds him. He raises an eyebrow in Lucy’s direction.
Lucy’s here, Nick’s here. This is the perfect opportunity for them to meet. I wave him over before I notice the worried look on Lucy’s face. I see little sweat marks already forming under her arms when she lifts her backpack onto the counter.
“You want the usual?” I ask. I see Nick taking off his hat and running his hand through his hair. He’s so damn cute.
Lucy twists her face and wrinkles her nose as if she’s just tasted a lemon. “Yes. No. Make it a decaf,” she says and spits out a piece of gum.
“What’s wrong?” She never chews gum and never ever drinks decaf, especially before a night shift. She hastily removes another foiled-covered stick from her pocket and fidgets with the wrapper, ignoring my question.
Nick walks up beside her. “Um, Lucy, this is Nick.”
She turns to face him with a huge smile. “It’s about time!” She pulls him in for a hug, and they both seem to relax. Nick is charming as ever. He makes small talk with Lucy while I take another order. When I return, I find out she’s invited him to dinner next weekend.
“Great,” I say dryly and fake a smile. Nick sees through my false enthusiasm and laughs.
“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Lucy says, as if their meeting was equivalent to eating broccoli for the first time.
“Whatever, here’s your coffee.” I turn to Nick and ask if he needs a refill.
“No, I’m good.” He turns to Lucy. “It was nice to meet you.” He shakes her hand and heads back to his table.
Lucy smiles at me as if she just won a bet and spins away from the counter.
I haven’t told Nick about my parents yet. There is no way I can get through a dinner with Lucy and not have it brought up. I have to tell him this week. I think it’s safe to say I can trust him now that he’s seen me naked. I just wish I hadn’t taken my last pill. If I had known Matt was really going to cut me off, I would have conserved a little better. It’s been four days since I had a pill, and I’m starting to unravel.
“Whose coffee is this?” Patty is pointing to the cup on the counter.
Lucy forgot her coffee. From the window I see her at a table outside flipping through her calendar. I thumb towards the window.
“What wrong with her?” Patty asks as Lucy folds another stick of gum into her mouth.
I shrug and hand her the cup. “Decaf.”
Patty rolls her eyes as she takes the cup and heads outside. Maybe Lucy’s getting the stomach flu that’s going around. I hope not, I was looking forward to spending some alone time with Nick. Since we’ve been put on pause, as Aurora calls it, we can’t go to any parties, which means no thizz for me. I’ve been trying to carve out some alone time with Nick, hoping he might want to pop a pill alone. Thizz and sex is like peanut butter and jelly. They are ok on their own, but together they are orgasmic.
“Can I talk to you for a sec?” Arnie leans on the counter. “I was wondering if you could help me.” He glances over his shoulder at Nick’s table. “I need to take the SAT.”
I guess Nick finally got to him. “I didn’t think you were going that route.”
“My old man wants me to join the army, but fuck that. I’m not trying to get killed. I figured if I got into college, he’ll get off my back.”
“That usually is the case,” I assure him.
“I’ll take college girls over getting my ass shot any day.”
He says the next testing date is in a week, so I invite him to the house for a study session.
Arnie arrives a little after five. Lucy shows up an hour later saying she isn’t feeling well and blows my plan to have Nick over later tonight. I text Nick and tell him Lucy is home. He sends back a sad face and tells me he’ll see me tomorrow. I’m beyond disappointed.
Arnie is reading the sentences I wrote for him. His lips move, even though he’s reading in his head. It’s annoying. Everything annoys me these days. I text Matt a short note: Hey you. I can’t think of anything else to say. I hit send.
Arnie finishes and looks up with a smile. “She has big tits. Big would be the adjective.”
“Yes, exactly.” I found that turning the lesson into something he could relate to helped him grasp the concepts.
