“What do you mean?! If you hadn’t been talking to me, he never would have noticed us! And if you keep harassing me, one of these days you’re going to incur Eris’s wrath!”

  Shoot! She was right. Eris probably was watching this. Recently, I’d been following my instincts more than even I thought was really appropriate.

  I’ve gotta watch myself.

  We worked our way through the sprawling castle, finally arriving at the stairs to the second floor. Iris’s room was on the uppermost level. But when I tried to head for it, Chris tugged on my sleeve.

  “Hey, Lowly Assistant. If we can, I’d like to hit up the treasure vault here before we go. Like I told you, right? I’m pretty sure there are two Sacred Treasures floating around the capital right now. Really, the only two places I get a major read on treasure are from that guy Alderp and this place.”

  I still thought she had probably been detecting Aqua’s feather mantle at Alderp’s mansion. That meant the only other place the second item could be was the castle.

  “The treasure room, right. That’s on the second floor, just up these stairs. There aren’t any guards, but they have a powerful spirit barrier and a bunch of traps…”

  “Don’t you worry. Traps are one thing I’m ready for.”

  We went up the stairs, toward the treasure.

  The spirit barrier on the door to the treasure room was so powerful that even someone without any particular specialty in magic like me could tell it was there. I figured no one but Aqua could crack it.

  But then Chris took some sort of magic item out of her pouch. “Normally, only members of the Crimson Magic Clan have these. It’s called a barrier breaker. Some noble had it. I have no idea how they got their hands on it. The Crimson Magic Clan must have sold one. I just thought I’d borrow it.”

  A barrier breaker? That sounded familiar. In fact, it looked familiar… Eh, whatever.

  Chris fiddled with the item. It made a pa-ching! noise, and the barrier disappeared.

  “Wow, that’s powerful stuff. I guess now all we have to do is watch out for traps.”

  “You got it. And both of us have Detect Trap and Disarm Trap, so we really shouldn’t have anything to worry about.”

  I took out my lighter and lit it so we could get our bearings. I shone the dim light around the treasure room, revealing a hoard of neatly stacked loot.

  “Oops, traps everywhere. Try to take the treasure, and an alarm will sound. If we don’t see the Sacred Treasure we’re after, then let’s not touch anything.”

  I nodded in agreement and tried to see if there was anything that looked promising. But really, I didn’t know what a monster-summoning Sacred Treasure might look like, so I pretty much had to leave it to Chris and her Sense Treasure skill. For my part, I just kept a lookout, occasionally taking a glance through the piles of treasure…

  …and that was when I saw it.

  “Okay, Lowly Assistant, it doesn’t look like it’s here. Lots of powerful magical items, but nothing that would qualify as Sacred— Lowly Assistant?”

  It was totally out of place in a room full of treasure.

  And to me, it was achingly familiar.

  “Comics…!”

  A manga magazine was lying there. It could only have been brought from Japan.

  As I looked at the book with unmistakable nostalgia, Chris must have known something was running through my mind, because she watched me closely.

  “Um… If you try to take that…”

  She couldn’t quite bring herself to say it, but I knew what she meant. “It’s okay. That book is from my country. I was just thinking how much I miss the place.”

  For some reason, this caused Chris to adopt an apologetic expression.

  “You don’t have to look at me like that,” I said. “Anyway, I actually owned that comic, so I don’t especially—”

  I was in the middle of my sentence when I noticed the book sitting next to the manga. It was the utmost treasure. Something that people in Japan might jump you just to get, if you were so lucky as to have one.

  “Ready to go, Lowly Assistant? …Oh! Once we seal the Sacred Treasures, maybe I’ll get you some books from your home country. So let’s…”

  Chris was jabbering on about something, but I didn’t hear her. I was too focused on getting that treasure.

  “Lowly Assistant—!!”

  “There! The intruders went that way!”

  “Two intruders! We don’t know what they’re after, but don’t let them go any farther!”

  Chris and I ran for our lives, the soldiers’ shouts ringing in our ears.

  “Damn! What a fiendish trap! To think, it got even me…!”

  “When we get out of this, you and I are going to have a long talk, Lowly Assistant! You’re just too impetuous!”

  “Chief, now’s not the time to argue! We’ve gotta find a way out of here!”

  “Don’t you tell me that! I’m well aware!”

  Lights were coming on all over the castle. The alarm from the vault must have woken people up.

  “Create Water! And Freeze!” I laid down ice in the hallway as we ran. A moment later, shouts and cries came from behind us.

  “You really are good to have around, Lowly Assistant.”

  “Cut the chatter, Chief, and just think of a way to help us!”

  Chris had come up to jog alongside me as we traded banter, and she gave me a thumbs-up. “You got it! Let your chief show you what she can do!”

  Then Chris spun around, producing something from her pocket: thin pieces of metal wire.

  “Wire Trap!” she shouted as she flung them.

  When the little pieces of wire touched the walls, they instantly spread out into a steel net, like a spiderweb. Even a small person would have had trouble squeezing through it.

  “That should buy us enough time to escape. What with all the commotion, Lowly Assistant, I think we’d better call it a night. What say we get out of here?” Chris drew a dagger from the small of her back as she spoke and used it to punch out a window. She was looking around the area, ready to run.

  “No, wait. Whatever I can do today, I’d like to do it! They’re going to kick me out of the capital tomorrow!”

  Chris gave me a pained look. “I-I’m sorry, but… A Thief and an Adventurer? If we tried to take them on, they’d arrest us in no time at all. And when did you get so resolute anyway?!”

  Her words made me think. Why was I so desperate to do this? I wasn’t the hot-blooded character, and I definitely wasn’t the “chosen one” hero type.

  Just calm down. I’m cooler than this.

  Yeah. If I went back to Axel, I could have my life of leisure. I didn’t need to do this. I could just run away and relax at my mansion…

  That was what I kept trying to tell myself anyway, but my days with Iris kept flashing before my eyes.

  Iris in a bad mood when I teased her. Iris with her eyes shining as she listened to my story of purifying a Lich in a dungeon. Iris after I had convinced her to sneak some food from the dining hall, looking embarrassed but also somehow happy as Claire scolded us both. Iris crying and yelling at me after she had happily repeated to her servants some outrageous lie I’d told her.

  And then there were the words she’d said to me when I asked her why she would ever like me.

  “I’ve never met anyone like you before. I’ve had lots of servants, but there was no one who was totally fearless, and rude, and obnoxious, and willing to tell a princess like me all kinds of dirty things, and who wanted to win at any cost in a totally immature way…”

  I didn’t think any of that was actually a compliment, but still…

  “I was trying to find out why you would like me.”

  “And that’s what I’m talking about, isn’t it?”

  She really liked me…for me.

  I didn’t know how I’d gotten in so deep. I definitely didn’t know why I was so fond of Iris. I mean, in a few years she would be a princess of marriageable age. And then there was no chance that she would be allowed to keep meeting with a guy who was not only so much lower in social status but as suspicious as I was.

  In fact, the moment I left this castle, there would be nothing to connect us anymore. So tonight was my last chance to act like a big brother to her.

  “Lowly Assistant, I really think we should get out of here! You go back to Axel—it might take me a while on my own, but I’ll do something about the Sacred Treasure!”

  But that was exactly why…

  “Chief, I…”

  I had been through the wringer already. I couldn’t make any promises about the future. I could barely make any promises about the next day.

  But—

  “Now, right now, I can do what I need to do.”

  “Lowly Assistant…?”

  “There! We’re through the wire! But the thieves…didn’t get away; they’re still standing right there for some reason!”

  The soldiers had cut through Chris’s wire trap, and now there was nothing between us and them.

  One guy, apparently their leader, was bellowing, “You villains! You’ll regret coming to our castle! Make sure we take one alive—then we’ll find out what they’re after!”

  One of the soldiers who stood blocking our way reported back to the shouting man, “Captain! One of them has a dagger, but the other one seems to be unarmed. Let’s try for the weakling with no weapon!”

  The captain nodded. “I agree, the silver-haired one looks strong. All right, give the silver-haired intruder no quarter! But two of you should be more than enough for the weak-looking guy in the mask!”

  What’s with me tonight?

  Was it because I had genuinely decided to be serious this one time?

  “We’re dealing with a criminal here! I don’t need him in one piece!”

  I was on top of my game.

  “They’re not moving. You, intruders! If you’re going to surrender, now’s your chance. You might get away with your lives!”

  For some reason, I was actually on top of my game tonight.

  The captain was pointing his sword at me.

  “……”

  I didn’t say anything but raised my hand, almost as if I were going to shake his. He lowered the weapon slightly in puzzlement.

  “Oh-ho. Waving the white flag? Good. You, Silver Hair, throw down your weapon! If you do, we miiiiiaggghhhh!”

  The moment he took my hand, he screamed and crumpled to the ground, twitching.

  ““““Huh?!””””

  Everyone else, including Chris, looked at one another and voiced their amazement.

  The man they were calling “captain” seemed to be made of fairly stern stuff. But besides Darkness, who had the strength of a monster, there weren’t many people who could withstand my Drain Touch when I was in my groove.

  “Wh-what did he do?!” The other soldiers took a step back, their captain still lying on the floor.

  “Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Perfect! I’ve never felt better! I don’t know why, but I’m in top form! And tonight, you’re going to see what happens when I get really serious!”

  “L-Lowly Assistant? You’ve been acting really weird! Are you okay?”

  I jumped at the remaining soldiers!

  3

  “Chief! The stairs to the top floor are just to the right around that corner!”

  “S-sure, got it! B-but look, Lowly Assistant, you sound…and are acting…totally different from normal. What’s going on?!”

  Chris and I continued to hear shouting behind us as we ran along. The difference from earlier was…

  “Thieves! Extremely capable thieves have broken in! Call our best adventurers!”

  “Be on the alert—do not try to engage them alone! They’re very powerful! They don’t seem to want to kill anyone for the moment, but don’t let your guard down!”

  “Knight captain, this way! Please evacuate to safety!”

  “B-but that masked man—I can’t allow him to go any farther!”

  The difference was that I was pumped, and the soldiers seemed oddly afraid of me.

  Whoops, enemy detected in front!

  “Okay, step aside! Silver-Haired Thief Brigade coming through! If you don’t want to get hurt, then get out of the way!”

  “When did we agree on a name, Lowly Assistant?! This is getting serious—let’s call it the Masked Thief Brigade, and you can be the leader!”

  The soldier ahead of us had his sword out.

  “Wind Breath!”

  “Gwah?! Curse him and his little parlor tricks— Ahhhh!”

  My wind magic blew the fine soil from my palm into his face. I grabbed the hand of my blinded opponent, holding his sword at bay while I drained him. Within seconds of touching the soldier, I had rendered him helpless. I walked away as if nothing had happened.

  “The Masked Thief Brigade? No thanks. It makes me sound like the ringleader.”

  “Hey, I don’t want the villain treatment, either! I wasn’t exactly eager to become public enemy number one, but now everyone’s gonna recognize me by the color of my hair! And what’s that skill you keep using anyway?!”

  I could hardly admit to using Lich skills. “This is my secret finishing move. And because it’s secret, I can’t tell you anything about it. Bigger problem: If they bring out anyone who can use magic, I won’t have a leg to stand on… And speak of the devil, that looks like a wizard now! You’re up, Chief!”

  We were faced with three soldiers who had apparently just jumped out of bed. Two of them wore armor, but one was wearing a robe.

  “You got it! I’ll handle him with my skills somehow…! Skill Bind!”

  Chris activated her skill before the robed soldier could finish chanting his spell.

  “Lightning! …H-huh?”

  His spell’s failure to activate threw him for a loop. I pulled out a piece of rope as I ran and shouted, “Bind!”

  I flung the rope at the two soldiers. Imbued with magic power by the skill, it wrapped itself around them as though it had a mind of its own. I was really glad Chris had taught me that skill. It was proving very useful. The only bottleneck was how much MP such a powerful ability consumed…

  I closed the distance with one of the bound men, then used Drain Touch to steal as much MP as he could survive. I had used up most of my own magic on Bind, but now I was topped right up.

  The soldiers yelled and shouted:

  “He beat us again! He doesn’t even have a weapon! What the hell is he?!”

  “Where are the adventurers?! Aren’t our adventurers here yet?!”

  “W-well… We served our best wine at the party, so most of them drank themselves into oblivion…”

  “This is why I hate adventurers!”

  That little exchange brought me a rush of relief. If we’d really had to face off with high-level adventurers, we could have been in a tight spot.

  “Our knights and soldiers are vulnerable to Thief skills! Isn’t there anything we can do?!”

  “Normally, you don’t get too much mileage out of Bind; it takes too much MP. Maybe that guy has a whole bunch of manatite or something…?”

  “But we never saw him using any! Which would mean…”

  “That thief has a terrifying amount of MP! As much as a member of the Crimson Magic Clan!”

  The soldiers behind me were letting their imaginations run away with them, making me sound a lot more powerful than I was. I was just using Drain Touch conscientiously.

  And eventually…

  “Wha—?! Crap, don’t let them get to the top floor! We don’t know what they’re after, but Princess Iris is up there…!”

  We were heading for the top floor, where Iris was.

  “Wire Trap! Wire Trap! Wire Trap!!” Chris riddled the stairway with wires. She let out a sigh of relief. “All right, that oughta keep them off our tails for a while! Now we just—”

  “Now you just get captured and tell us what it is you want here. Who or what are you? Are you the righteous thief—or thieves—of the rumors?”

  We turned around to find Mitsurugi in full regalia. And with him…

  “You’ve cut off your own escape route. Consider yourselves finished, intruders!”

  That declaration came from Claire and Lain, looking their absolute most dangerous.

  At a distance stood an audience of nobles and a whole bunch of knights.

  4

  “What are we going to do, Lowly Assistant? I don’t think we can take on all these people at once!” Chris whispered to me with a squeak.

  A quick glance suggested Lain was the only magic user. Mitsurugi was up front, hesitantly closing the distance along with the knights behind him, who had their swords drawn. Behind them, Claire was watching us with a triumphant look on her face. The other nobles seemed to be enjoying the show, too, apparently convinced that this was already over.

  “Miss Claire,” Mitsurugi said, “that masked man is supposed to be very powerful. He doesn’t seem to have a weapon, but if he gets close to you, there’s no telling what he might do. I’ll handle him. Knights, you take the boy with the silver hair.”

  “…You know, Lowly Assistant, people keep calling me ‘kid’ and ‘boy’ here. All I’ve done is cover my mouth. Does it make me look that much like a guy?”

  “I don’t think it’s your mouth, Chief, so much as your flat ch— Yikes! Now is no time to be getting upset, Chief. We’re going to need everything we’ve got.”

  I tried to backpedal as I saw Chris’s face fall practically before my eyes. Then I turned toward Mitsurugi. He had his enchanted blade close and wasn’t taking his eyes off me.

  “Okay, Chief. At times like this, you knock out the most powerful enemy to scare the rest. I’m in top form tonight—I’ll drop that empty-headed hunk like a sack of bricks. Then we make our escape while everyone else is frozen in terror.”

  “Y-you know I can hear you, right? ‘Empty-headed hunk’? You mean me? And ‘sack of bricks’? Quite the talk for someone who isn’t carrying a weapon. Very well, I’ll give you everything I’ve—”

  While Mitsurugi was still babbling away, I raised my hand toward his sword. He saw me and dropped into a deep stance, his hand on his scabbard, ready to draw.

 

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