“Have you had your fun, Kazuma?” Megumin asked. “Let’s go back to Axel. We can lounge around our mansion just as well as this castle, right?”

  They were trying to comfort me. And even I wasn’t exactly married to the idea of being a NEET in this castle. What bothered me was Iris, who, despite being just a twelve-year-old kid, had to work so hard never to seem self-indulgent. The thought of her all by herself in this huge castle wouldn’t stop eating at me.

  But the difference in our social status was huge, and even if I stuck around the capital, there was no telling whether I could be any use to her. I hated to say it, but I had run out of cards to play.

  I looked back at the looming castle and sighed, keenly aware of my own powerlessness.

  “…Yeah. I guess we’d better go home.”

  Darkness and Megumin looked relieved. What, were they afraid I’d get caught up in something else if I stayed here in the capital?

  “Hey, Kazuma, how about we wait until tomorrow to go home? I want to buy souvenirs. There’s lots of good wine in the capital. Hey, you don’t have anything else to do, right? Come shopping with me!”

  There went Aqua, as oblivious to the mood as ever.

  6

  “The wines around here aren’t so great. Michael’s shop in Axel has better stuff.”

  “Who the hell is Michael? And you’re starting to cozy up to the locals, aren’t you? A little while ago, the butcher came by with a top cut of meat. He said it was for ‘healing an injury.’”

  Aqua had muscled me, and me alone, into accompanying her on her shopping trip. I had sent Darkness and Megumin to find us somewhere to stay tonight.

  I wished the thoughtless Aqua would learn a thing or two from Iris, who was so well loved by everyone around her.

  “Hey, that’s the first I’ve heard about that. I don’t remember getting any meat…”

  “You and Megumin happened to be out at the time. Darkness and I hadn’t had lunch yet, so she cooked it up and we ate it.”

  I was just fending off a physical assault from Aqua when someone called out from behind us.

  “Oh? Lady Aqua, fancy meeting you here!”

  Standing there was a weirdo I hadn’t seen in a long time: the Sword Master, wielder of an enchanted blade. He came from Japan, just like me, and I was pretty sure his name was…Matsurugi, right?

  I was used to seeing him with a girl on each arm, but today he was alone.

  Aqua sounded a bit confused. “Wh-who are you again?”

  She was the one who had sent him here, and she had already forgotten he existed.

  Matsurigi seemed to think this was funny. “You always did love jokes, didn’t you, milady?”

  Aqua, however, was trying to hide behind me. She whispered in my ear, “Hey, Kazuma, who is this person? He seems to think he knows me…”

  “U-um, it’s me, milady. You chose me to save this world and gifted me a magic sword. I’m a Sword Master. My name is—”

  “His name is Katsuragi,” I said. “Don’t you remember him?”

  “K-Katsuragi?! I’m Mitsurugi! You could at least remember my name!” He was shouting so loud, a vein stood out on his forehead.

  The name didn’t seem to be jogging Aqua’s memory. It had been a while since we’d talked, but we had at least seen him around, like at the battle with Destroyer.

  “Not ringing any bells? He’s the guy with the enchanted sword Gram?”

  Aqua clapped her hands as if she’d finally remembered. Even Mitsurugi seemed to realize at this point that she wasn’t being funny but had actually forgotten him.

  “S-say, Kazuma Satou… You didn’t really forget my name, did you? Tell me, what’s my first name…?”

  “I really don’t think we’re friendly enough to be on a first name basis yet.”

  “It’s Kyouya! If you don’t remember, just say so! Kyouya Mitsurugi! And I’ll thank you to remember it this time!” he shouted, sounding more and more agitated. He put his hands to his temples and shook his head. Finally he let out a sigh, as if he had calmed down somewhat. “…Sheesh. I see I’ll have to settle things with you. I’ve gotten stronger since we last met. I won’t let you get away with your dirty tricks this time! Now face me again!”

  “What are you talking about? Things are settled. We fought; I won. I’m not going another round with you. I beat you when I was a total newb. Just accept it and move on.”

  “You…”

  He almost looked sad, but I knew that if I went fair and square against an advanced class with a magic sword, I had no hope of winning.

  After a moment, Mitsurugi sighed. “…Never mind. Actually, I’m glad I ran into you. It’s perfect timing. We need to talk.”

  All of a sudden he looked very serious.

  Aqua and I sat down at one of the capital’s many cafés to talk with Mitsurugi. Once we had placed our orders, he put his hands on the table and leaned forward slightly.

  “Let’s start from the top… Well, first I have something I want to give to Lady Aqua.”

  He took out an object. It was a small package in cute wrapping paper.

  …Oh?

  He put it in front of Aqua, who was industriously folding her napkin into something artistic.

  “Lady Aqua. I don’t think I ever see you wearing any accessories. And let me say, your beauty is in no way diminished by their absence… But if you’d like, please accept this…” It was enough to set my teeth on edge. I’d bet this guy wasn’t a gamer back in Japan. I’d bet he actually enjoyed off-line life.

  “What’s that? You’re giving this to me?”

  “Yes, milady. It’s just a cheap bauble; I worry that it won’t suit your exalted tastes…” He had a soft smile on his face. What a smooth operator.

  It made me sick.

  “Hey, where’s your arm candy?” I asked. “You send ’em away so you can flirt a bit?”

  “They aren’t my arm candy; they’re my valued companions! And right now, they’re off raising their levels in the next country. I tend to dominate the hunting when we go out together, you see. I put a stop to the Demon King each time he tries something here.”

  Aqua ignored us and opened her gift. It turned out to be a small ring. It sure didn’t look cheap—it was really classy, in fact. I guess Mitsurugi was just being humble. But how did he know Aqua’s ring size?

  Just as I was thinking this…

  “…? It’s too small—it doesn’t fit.” Aqua had tried a couple of times to get it on her finger and had quickly given up.

  Mitsurugi gave a wry smile. “The ring is enchanted. The size should—”

  But he was interrupted by Aqua exclaiming, “Kazuma, Kazuma, look at this!” She covered the ring with her napkin. “Ta-daa!” She pulled away the napkin, and the ring was gone without a trace.

  “…Wow. That’s really neat, but where did the ring go?” I asked her.

  “…Huh? I made it disappear. How should I know where it goes?”

  “Uhhh,” Mitsurugi said dumbly.

  Gee… I feel a little bad for him.

  “It may have been a cheap thing that didn’t fit, but at least I was able to get a good magic trick out of it. Thanks!” Aqua gave him an innocent, carefree smile. Mitsurugi could barely speak.

  “B-but of course…! I’m thrilled to have assisted in your magic trick…” He gave a dry laugh.

  Gee… I feel really bad for him.

  Aqua went back to folding her napkin, humming as if nothing had happened. Mitsurugi looked at her with a mix of adoration and pity, then turned to me.

  “Okay, let’s talk. This involves you, too, even if you don’t know it.”

  In summary: The reason Beldia, the general of the Demon King, had been sent to Axel in the first place was that the king’s prophets had spoken of a great light descending in that area. The king sent Beldia to investigate, not quite sure whether to believe it or not. Then Beldia was killed, and Vanir, who followed him, went missing. Sylvia, the general who had attacked Crimson Magic Village, had been finished off, too.

  Apparently, there was a rumor making the rounds in the Demon King’s army that a particular party of adventurers had somehow been involved in each of these incidents. The Demon King was now rather interested in that party. It was possible he would attack Axel, the town where these adventurers had their base, or he might send another subordinate.

  And I had a sinking feeling that the adventurers in question were my party members and me.

  “But what about that ‘great light’ that supposedly descended around Axel?”

  I nonchalantly looked over at Aqua, who sat beside me diligently working on something. Mitsurugi followed my glance.

  “I think it was Lady Aqua,” he said. “Though I once wondered if this light that so alarmed the Demon King might have been myself… D-don’t look at me like that…”

  He had noticed my This guy has the best misunderstandings stare and frowned in annoyance.

  As we exchanged facial expressions, Aqua said, “Done!” Then she said to Mitsurugi, “Here, you can have this. To thank you for that ring. The title of this piece is Goddess Transformer Eris. Her chest armor comes on and off and allows for up to three different transformations.”

  She handed the napkin to Mitsurugi, but I’d be damned if anyone understood what she was going on about. He took it with a strained smile.

  “Ha-ha, thank you very much, Lady Aqua. I’ll take good care of—”

  ““Whoa!””

  As he spoke, he looked down at the napkin. He and I both noticed it at the same time. The folded napkin really did look like Lady Eris. It was way beyond simple origami; it could only be called art.

  “…Hey, Aqua, make one of these for me, too.”

  “No way, I never make the same thing twice. How about a Martial Arts Action General Winter? I could make that for you.”

  “Uh, okay, sure. Yes please.”

  Aqua silently set to work folding another napkin. The sight caused Mitsurugi to stand up, smiling.

  “Kazuma Satou. Kindly look after Lady Aqua until I get a little bit stronger.” He turned to her. “With that, Lady Goddess, I must be going. I will treasure this napkin creation.”

  Aqua looked up at him with a Huh? “…? Oh, sure. Catch you next time… Hey, Kazuma, you’re sure you want it to transform, right?”

  “Obviously! Who wouldn’t?”

  Mitsurugi looked at us, almost sadly. “You and Lady Aqua really are a good match, aren’t you?”

  And then, with a word of farewell, he left us.

  On the way back to our inn…

  “You know, I feel like that’s the first time in a while anyone has called me ‘goddess.’ That Katsuragi isn’t such a bad guy.”

  If you really think that, you could at least remember his name.

  Although it was also sort of my fault for calling him Katsuragi in the first place.

  I looked at Aqua, obliviously spouting BS, and thought: The Demon King is worried about this ditz?

  …He couldn’t be.

  Nope, definitely not.

  “Never mind,” I said. “What do you want for dinner? The capital area is more of a battleground than Axel, so apparently you can get fresh meat from stronger monsters. And all the inns here use the freshest ingredients they can, so you get a meal that’s delicious and earns you lots of experience points. I feel like having something really rich. Let’s buy some kind of expensive meat and grill it up.”

  “Me, I want something nice and light. Raw vegetables, maybe some seared meat. Something that would go with a strongish wine.”

  “Okay, let’s play a game to decide. But Mitsurugi reminded me you’re a goddess, so I’ll give you a special handicap. Three rounds of rock, paper, scissors, and if you win even one of them, we’ll eat what you want.”

  “Oh, what’s this? How generous of you, Kazuma. With a setup like that, we might as well not even play! But oh well. Here goes! Rock—paper—”

  She may have been a goddess, but she totally lacked the ability to learn, which meant she’d forgotten that I’m an extremely good rock, paper, scissors player. I went back to the inn carrying a cut of top-quality meat.

  7

  That night.

  I had been asleep in my bed, but I was suddenly awakened by the sense that someone was there.

  “…up… Wake up, already…!”

  The voice was familiar. In the dark, I could just make out someone beside my bed.

  “Perverrrrt!”

  “Ahhh! Hey! It’s me! It’s Chris! Stop—what do you think you’re grabbing? Stop it! Darkness! Darkness, help meeee!”

  Once I had apprehended the intruder, I realized it was just Chris.

  “Oh, it’s you, Chris. If you’re sneaking in here in the middle of the night, I’m assuming you don’t want everyone to know what you’ve come to talk to me about. So why call to Darkness for help?”

  “Y-you’re impossible! I’m pretty sure you only grabbed the ‘intruder’ after you knew it was me! And if you’re just trying to hold someone down, you don’t have to grab them there, do you?!”

  Chris was breathing hard in the darkness. I had thought our Crusader might come running when she heard the commotion, but it didn’t seem like anyone had woken up.

  “Geez, I really can’t let my guard down with you… As much as I really, really hate to have to rely on you of all people, I don’t have a choice.”

  “Hey, you’re the one who practically crawled into my bed in the middle of the night and then shouted when I grabbed you. What are you trying to do, set me up?”

  “I didn’t crawl into your bed! And I’m not trying to set you up! I told you I would come explain why I was breaking into houses, didn’t I?! H-hey! Stop pretending you can’t hear me!”

  Chris grabbed onto me. I had my hands over both my ears and was trying to bury myself back under my covers.

  “I told you back at Alderp’s mansion that I didn’t want to know, didn’t I?! I’m already angry about being kept away from the princess, so come back some other time. Like maybe next year!”

  “It has to be now! Come on, listen to me! I swear there’s a reason I’m breaking into these nobles’ houses…!”

  I was still deep under my covers and continuing my attempts to resist, but Chris started explaining anyway…

  In this world, there were exceptionally powerful magical items and equipment called “Sacred Treasures.” As the name implied, they were not easy to get your hands on. But the people who did have them tended to share a few personal characteristics. They usually had black hair and black eyes and weird names.

  “In other words, people with weird names like yours are usually the only ones who can get Sacred Treasures.”

  “My name is weird? You’re acting like I’m a member of the Crimson Magic Clan or something.”

  My resistance had been in vain; the pillow I had stuck my head under had been torn away, and now I was listening to Chris explain something that didn’t make a lot of sense to me.

  I had heard about divine items from Aqua. In fact, I had seen a catalog of them—they were the overpowered “cheat items” I could have picked from when I came to this world.

  “As it happens, two such items lost their owners—I don’t know how. But apparently, a certain noble bought them.”

  “I see.”

  According to her, the owners of the divine items had died, and their possessions had become fair game. One of these items summoned a random monster, which could then be controlled without paying any additional cost. The other allowed you to trade bodies with another person.

  Being able to control a monster sounded like a powerful ability, and I could understand why someone might want it. But who had brought the body-switch item here—and what had they planned to do with it?

  As I sat wondering about this, Chris was swinging her legs from the edge of the bed. “So one of my thief skills is Sense Treasure, which lets me know when there’s rare loot around. I’m using that skill to search every house in the capital.”

  “And you think the only people with the spare cash to buy something like a Sacred Treasure are nobles who got rich illegally?”

  “Yes, exactly! But once I got in, I didn’t find the divine item. I’ve always wanted to be a noble thief, so I helped myself to a bit of their dirty money!”

  So she basically decided to turn Robin Hood on the spot?

  “That mansion you were staying in sent my treasure sense off the charts. That’s why I snuck in there.”

  “I get it. At least, I get why you were breaking into people’s houses. I still don’t know what you want with those Sacred Treasures, though.”

  Chris scratched the scar on her cheek with a hint of embarrassment. “Why I’m after those divine items…? Well, maybe I can tell you, eventually. Anyway, did you see any treasure in that mansion that might fit the bill? That old guy, Alderp or whoever, did you see him use any amazing magical items?”

  “He had a magic mirror that let him see into the bath. But other than that, no, no awesome magical items… Wait, are you sure the treasure you were sensing wasn’t Aqua’s feather mantle? She claimed that was once a divine item.”

  That completely took the wind out of Chris’s sails. “W-well, maybe, then… But look, there’s a reason I snuck in here, too.”

  I knew it!

  “No way! I don’t want to get caught up in any more dangerous escapades! And everything you’ve said sounds plenty dangerous already!”

  “Hey! No, hear me out! Listen, I sense a major treasure at the castle, too. One at least as big as what I sensed at Alderp’s mansion!”

  “I think it’s pretty common for castles to have treasure in them. So what?”

  “As I recall, you have the Second Sight skill, don’t you? You can see in the dark! And I know I taught you Ambush and Sense Foe. With those abilities, you and I can sneak in—”

  “I’m not gonna be your accomplice! I’ve had a bad feeling ever since I ran into you at Alderp’s mansion. No way am I helping you with this!”

  “Don’t say that! I’m not done yet! If we don’t get this Sacred Treasure, it’s going to spell trouble for everyone!”

 

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