All Mye Queen's Men, Chronicles of Love - Volume II, page 20
Queen looks up stunned and astonished at the same time. Jade looked absolutely breathtaking in that gown. Suddenly, it hit Queen, her best friend was actually getting married. Naturally, a flood of mixed feelings quickly overwhelmed her.
“Oh my God! I can't believe that you just said that. You're lucky that you look so damn beautiful in that dress. Else, I'd come over there and slap your little bitch ass for saying what you just said.”
“You like? Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“Oh hell no! I love! Wow! Jade, that dress is stunning on you. I can't believe my girl is actually getting married.” Queen managed to get out before her emotions welled up in her throat and begin to choke her like a lump of stale bread.
“Don't start that shit Queen. I'm not going to cry. So don't you start.”
“I know but, now it all seems so real. I'm sorry, but I can't help it. I'm so happy for you. You found someone who loves you enough to...” Tears sting Queen’s face and her feelings get the best of her. She could no longer masquerade her pain, so she quickly walks out of the bridal viewing room.
Jade lifts up her dress and rushes after her. She knew exactly what was going on. She knew that it was just a matter of time before Queen broke.
“Queen, wait. Queen, please stop. You know I can't run in this tight ass dress.”
Queen stops, but her back remains turned to Jade. She can’t face her. She would just die if the words ‘I told you so!’ crossed Jade’s lips.
Jade warned her not to call off her engagement to Logic. If all had went as planned Queen would have been happily married to Logic and not playing phone tag with Bear’s slag ass.
In retrospect she fucked up big letting Logic go. She loved him, there was no second guessing that, and there was no doubt that he loved her. The problem was she couldn’t stop loving Bear. Queen knew what she was facing leaving Logic. But she loved him too much to continue cheating on him with Bear. He deserved better than that, unfortunately the demons of her past just wouldn’t allow her to give it to him.
Yes, Jade knew exactly what the waterworks were really all about, but the last thing on earth she’d tell Queen right now is, “I told you so!”
She knew how much it hurt Queen to walk away from Logic. It broke her heart to see Queen still distraught over this today, of all days, after all of these years. This was supposed to be a happy day, not a day of regrets.
Jade spins Queen around, wipes the tears from her eyes and hugs her as close and as tight as she could. “Queen I know what this is all about. I said what I said out of stress and frustration. I shouldn't have said it I'm sorry.”
“You said what you said because it’s the truth. You don't have to apologize for telling the truth, even when the truth hurts.”
“Even still, sometimes the truth hurts too much and if I had taken the time to assess the situation I would have realized that those words would cut you like a knife. I didn't mean to hurt you, Queen.”
“I'm okay. I'm just emotional because you make an amazing Bride. Fuck Bear. I stopped crying over him months ago. If he's not going to value this thing we got then fuck it and fuck him. I'm just so damn happy for you. You two are good together and you both deserve to be happy. And I want that, but I think I let it get away from me when I let Logic go.”
Jade pushes Queen at arm’s length and cups Queen’s face in her hands. She locks eyes on Queen and speaks from the heart. “Queen, you're going to have this and more, but honey you got to let this thing with Teddy go. Right now, this shit is killing you. Your relationship is hurting you more than it's helping you. Yeah he loves you, yeah you love him, yeah the sex is mind blowing and yeah he takes excellent care of you, but that's just not enough. Queen, you know he's incapable of being faithful to you. And we both know that it’s not because he doesn't try, because he tries real hard. He's just too damaged to pull it off.”
“Jade I'm damaged too. I did as much dirt as he did until Christian showed up. Which is the dirtiest dirt that I've done to date. Even though we're not having sex, Christian I were inappropriate from the moment we met. Bear and I need each other. With Paul gone... I can't explain it, but we just need each other.”
“Look, you two can't keep using each other as a crutch to get over Paul's murder. Continue to love Teddy, but as your friend, not as your man. Cut out the sex. It doesn't belong in your friendship. Find another way to deal with what happened besides fucking each others brains out every time you think about Paul. Queen you got to stop it. Teddy can't stop it and he won't stop it, but you can. Love isn't unfaithful and loves not suppose to hurt like you're hurting right now. What you need to do is roll that nigga over to the friends forever zone and get with Christian. You two are great together. Now that's who you need to be with.”
“Jade, I can't roll out on Bear like that. He needs me. I don't know what he'd do if we broke up. Let alone if I hooked up with his boy.”
“He'd get over it, Queen. That's what he'd do. You can't play psychiatrist to Teddy. If he needs help then let's get him some help. Hell, he's got enough money. Your pussy is no substitute for professional counseling. Go to counseling together if you have to, cause I'm not sure you haven't loss your damn mind too. I've never seen you let a man walk over you like this, especially, when an eligible replacement is waiting at your beck and call. What the hell is up?”
“Jade, it's not like that. You don't understand.”
“Then make me understand, cause I don't get it. All I see is that Teddy has fucked up my best friend's whole life and I don't know how to fix it.” Tears begin to scream down Jade’s face and her voice begins to crack. “So make me understand Queen, because if you don't I'm going to have to postpone my wedding, fly to LA and stick my foot in that fool's ass and bitch slap the bitch that he's riding. So make me understand.”
They both laugh through tears. “There you go. Threatening to bitch slap somebody's ass, yet again. Look, I'm going to handle it.”
“Handle it soon and one day I'll be the Matron of Honor at your wedding.”
“Wedding! Wedding dress! Jade you still have on your dress.”
“Oh my God! Please don't tell me you slobbered all over my damn wedding gown. I'll have to bust your ass too!”
Queen quickly checks the dress for stains, fortunately the dress was fine. “Hold still let me see. You're cool. Thank God, my lack luster ass was too lazy to put on makeup.”
“I wasn't going to bring it up, but you are looking tore up today. What's up with you?”
“I don't know. I'm a little down. Logic called. And I was looking forward to seeing Teddy this weekend, but he's not coming.”
“Holdup, did you say that Logic called you. Is he coming to the wedding?”
“No, I don't think so. He's shooting a film and he's not sure he can get away. At least that’s what he said. He hasn't been to Baltimore since I blew him off the last time he came. Anyway, he sends his love. He’s sending your gift to my house since you guys will be in Hawaii for two weeks.”
“So, is he still single? What’s his story?”
“See, there you go starting shit. His story is history. I didn’t even get into that with him. That ship has so sailed. I keep telling you that Logic and I are just friends. I can't begin to bring myself to fuck up his life any more than I already have.”
“Funny, you say that now, but every time he comes to Baltimore you seem to find yourself on your back, with your legs open, staring googly eyed into his face.”
“Mind your business, old lady. That doesn’t concern you and if anybody named Teddy Bear Davine ever asks… It never happened. Besides that's over too. He deserves better and apparently I'm incapable of being better. Not to mention he doesn't have a clue about my antics with Christian. So, that's pretty much it for him and that.”
“Okay, so back to Teddy. Are you going to just stop breathing because that nigga disappointed you again?”
“No, but it's been awhile if you know what I mean. This has been a real hard three months.”
“I guess it has been, with Christian’s hard dick in your face every day. I told you about playing house with that man. I don't know why you don't just go ahead and give him some.”
“We're not playing house and he doesn't want any. Well, at least not until I call it done with Bear.”
“Then call that shit. Half the women in this city would snatch you bald for Chris.”
“You more than anybody in the world know that it's not that damn simple. Okay I admit that I've let Christian get in a little too deep.”
“You need to let him go as deep as that dick will take him. Enough, of all this bullshit. Teddy fucks who he wants when he wants and the only thing you do is get mad. Don't get mad get some.”
“You know that I'm a freak but I've never been a hoe. I can't do that.”
“Queen tell me you don't want to fuck Chris.”
“I didn't say that I didn't want to. I said I can't, because he won't. There's a big difference. I can’t exactly rape the man. He’s holding out for something that I just don’t have to give.”
“You two might as well go ahead and screw. It's just a matter of time. You're already cheating.”
“We are not cheating.”
“Oh yeah? Then tell Teddy that Christian is sleeping in his house. Better yet tell him that you're spending the night at Christian's.”
“So what if we sleep in the same bed. Nothing happens.”
“Oh my God! don't tell me you two are sleeping in the same damn bed.”
“I just did. It doesn't matter, because nothing goes down.”
“Queen, you and Chris are lovers, plain and simple. It doesn't matter if you screw him or not.”
“Jade, I know, but I don't see a way out without somebody getting hurt.”
“I don't see how you can keep it up without somebody getting hurt. Teddy's going to fuck both of y'all up when he finds out. You're going to have to choose.”
“Maybe so, but I just don't want Christian to be the rebound guy.”
“I don't know what to tell you. Other than I don’t think Chris really cares if he’s the rebound guy. He just wants to be your guy.”
“I know, but it’s just not in the cards. You're right about one thing, I do owe Bear some serious pay back. I can't believe I let that bitch play me like that. Oh I am so getting me some dick tonight.”
“Great! Let's get out of here, cause we got some serious work to do. Have you seen that head of yours?”
“What's wrong with it?”
“Oh my God, you're a stylist's nightmare.”
“You think I can get an appointment on this short notice.”
“Honey, you think I was going to let you look busted in my wedding pictures. Oh, no, no, no! I made your ass an appointment two weeks ago. Lady Di is expecting you in a half an hour.”
“Now, I know why I love you. You take such good care of me.” Queen teased.
“Yeah, whatever. I got to get a dick in your life, because I'm not having you bounce that big ass around the dick in mine. We're friends and all but I don't trust a stray cat around my man.”
“I don't even believe you. I'd never...”
Jade quickly interrupts, “And you never will!”
Queen laughs. Her phone rings as the two of them head towards the dressing room. She looks at the display and instantly identifies it as Teddy.
“Please don't tell me that is who I think it is.”
“Yeah, I guess he knew we were talking about him. Hold on, I got to get this.”
“Don't you fucking dare answer that phone. Make that nigga wait, like he made you wait.”
Queen ignores Jade's warning and clicks the phone on. “Hey what's up?”
“So how's my girl doing?”
“I don't know, wake her ass up and ask her?”
“Ouch! Somebody's mad at me. What's wrong? Tell Papa Bear all about it.” Teddy teases.
“You know what? I'm sorry that wasn't even necessary. Everything is fine.”
“Then why all the hostility and sarcasm?”
“Look I said everything is okay, just forget about it.”
“Where are you?”
“I'm at the bridal shop with Jade. She's picking up her wedding gown.”
“Oh yeah, tell her congratulations and best wishes.”
“So, I guess you're not coming to the wedding.”
“I'm sorry, baby I'm not going to be able to get out of here in time. But I ordered their wedding gift. It should be delivered today. I sent something for you too.”
“Bear, the only thing I need is some me time with you. But that seems to be the only thing you can't give me.” Queen complained.
“Queen, I tried like hell to juggle my schedule to get there for the wedding. Baby I can't do it without forfeiting a ten million dollar endorsement deal and risking getting sued for everything we have. Come on cut me a little slack. I know you're mad. I know you're frustrated. And I know that you're horny as hell, but try to talk to me not at me. You know I miss you as much as you miss me. Why don't you get on a plane after the wedding and come spend some time with me?”
“Did you forget that I work for a living?”
“No, I didn't forget that you work. But you work because you want to work not because you need to. I want you here with me. You left me here. I didn't leave you. Come home, Queen. I don't want to fight. Hell, you know I'm not going to fight. So tell me what you want me to do. Do you want me to come to the wedding? If so say so. Fuck the ten million dollars. Hell, I'll move to Baltimore if you want me to. Just stop acting like I don't care about you.”
There is dead silence as Queen chokes back tears and clears her throat. “You know what? I can't do this shit anymore. No, I don't want you to move to Baltimore. Hell, I don't even want you to come to the wedding. I'm going by myself, but I swear, I'm not leaving alone. And just so we have an understanding I am getting fucked this weekend.”
“Queen, don't start that shit. Stop playing around. I told you that I can't do it without losing this contract. Why are you acting this way? Look, what time is the wedding?”
“What difference does it make? You can’t make it anyway.”
“Just tell me. I've still got a couple of things I'm trying.”
“The wedding is at 7:00pm. But do you really think this is about you not being able to escort me to the damn wedding? I know you're not naive enough to think that everything is okay between us. Wow, you really don't give a fuck about me. Do you?”
Teddy hears the stress in Queen’s voice and senses that she is crying. He knew that their relationship had been shaky as hell to say the least, but he had been trying his best to keep Queen happy. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to be working. Their relationship was unraveling quicker than a cheap, secondhand sweater.
His voice begins to crack as he begged, “Don’t cry Queen. You know that shit ain't true. I love you. I know I'm a fuck up. I know I hurt you. But don't say that I don't care. Shit ain't right here without you. Look, I'll be at the wedding. This shit's not worth losing you.”
Queen attempts to suppress her tears and does not respond. She couldn’t because she didn’t know what to say. She wanted out, but she didn’t know how to take the first step to leave. She loved him, but she didn’t want to live like this anymore. Still she couldn’t fathom life without him. Ripped apart by the emotions that she had bravely tried to hide for so long she said not a word.
“Queen, are you still there? Baby, say something… Queen!”
“Please don't come. You're just going to make what I have to do harder on both of us.”
“Don't play Queen. I swear to God, don't even play like you're going to fuck somebody else. I will fuck somebody up if I find out they slept with you.”
“Oh don't worry, ain't nobody getting any sleep. I got three months of shit to get off and ain't nobody getting any damn sleep tonight until I do.”
Teddy is silent. His voice wavers when it finally allows him to speak. “Queen don't do this to us. I said I was sorry. Two wrongs will never make shit right. I'll be at the wedding and we'll work everything out. Okay?”
Queen ignores him as she watches the bridal attendant wrap up Jade's wedding gown. She knew that seeing Jade in that dress triggered memories of her wedding that should have, would have, could have been, but wasn’t. Why? Because she couldn't stop fucking around with Bear and look where that’s gotten her. Alone, horny and as mad as a bitch that’s where it got her. Nonetheless, she knew that this was not the time or the place to address this issue.
“Please answer me Queen. Don't leave me hanging on like this.”
Finally, she wipes her eyes and clears her throat. “Look, just forget about it. I'm okay. We got some serious issues to address, but this is not the time, nor the place. We'll talk.”
“Queen, you know that I'll come if you want me to. Just say the word.”
“No I'm good. Do what you got to do. I'm just a little emotional because my girl is getting married.”
“Queen, I promise, I'm going to do better with coming to see you. I'm not trying to put money before you, but I got to make these moves while I'm still on fire. You understand don't you? Hell if I could move to Baltimore with you I'd do that too. You know that right?”
“Yeah. Look I got to go. I have a hair appointment and a bikini wax.”
“Intrigued, Teddy clears his throat and jokes, “You know I love a clean work space so you might want to delay the wax. I'll be flying in next Friday and Papa Bear plans to tear Mama Bear's ass up.”
“Yeah, right. I'll have the waxer shape it like an arrow so you can find your way. I realize it's been a while.” They both laughed.
“It ain't been that damn long. Keep talking shit you might see my ass tonight.”
“I'll be impressed to see you next week, let alone tonight. Look I better go. I love you.”
