BITTER, page 20
“Alright now, don’t get in trouble in here tonight,” Tristan warned.
For the rest of the night, Tristan and I were stuck like glue. We dance, laughed, and flirted the night away and for the first time in a long time, I didn’t think about Flip. Tristan behaved like a true gentleman and he made me feel like I was the most beautiful woman in the place, and in that moment, he was just what I needed.
At the end of the night, Tristan and I promised that we would keep in touch with one another outside of ZaZa and Miss Inez. I wasn’t ready for a new relationship, but I was willing to give Tristan a chance.
Valencia was a party animal so she was ready to go to an after-hour spot, but I could not hang so she dropped me off at home. I was drunk and I needed to lay my ass down.
I don't remember the conversation or how I even ended up on the phone with Flip. I just remember him showing up at the house and I remember me letting him in. He told me ZaZa was sleep with his mama. Again, I was drunk so I don’t remember much, but one thing led to another and Flip’s head ended up between my legs while his fingers gripped my ass, holding me in place.
I remember tears falling from my eyes as my body shook from the intensity of my orgasm. I recall Flip kissing my tears away before pulling me on his chest, where I slept until the next morning.
When I woke up, Flip was already awake but he was still holding me in his arms. I shook my head and sighed. "I never want to drink again."
"You have a headache?"
I nodded my head. He laughed. "I remember those days." He leaned over and grabbed some medicine off the dresser. "Take these"
Flip and I didn't talk about the night before, we didn't talk at all really, we just lay in each others arms, both just living in the moment because we knew they wouldn’t last long.
About an hour later we got up to head back to pick up ZaZa. I saw that Tristan text me and I felt dirty. I had flirted with him all night and not even an hour later, I was in bed with my baby daddy. I was such a joke.
Later that day, I went to Ms. Martha’s house for brunch, and although I was uncomfortable, it was the only that had felt right in a long time.
CHAPTER 34 - MOVING
ZURI
As Flip brought the last box in, I looked around my living room, proud of myself. I didn't have much, but for the first time in my life, I could say it was MINE.
I had been through so much to get to that point in my life, so it was a gratifying moment for me. My small one bedroom was fully furnished, fridge fully stocked, and the internet was due to be hooked up later that day. I felt so accomplished that I bought a bottle of champagne to celebrate.
"Where the glasses at?" Flip yelled from the kitchen.
I giggled and shook my head. "I forgot to buy glasses. I don't drink like that!"
“Champagne with no glasses. Only you!"
"I forgot, "I laughed. "I have paper cups."
"We’re better off drinking out the bottle.” Flip walked around the corner holding the champagne bottle with a massive smile on his face. He popped the bottle open and I watched it foam up and nearly spill on my brand new carpet. Watching Flip running to the kitchen was enough to make me double over with laughter.
“Good hustle, Mr. Sanders!” I laughed.
“I didn’t feel like hearing your mouth about this damn carpet,” he laughed as he approached me, still wearing a grin.
There was a knock on the door, and Flip went to retrieve the pizza he ordered. We sat Indian style on the floor as we ate and drank the champagne out the bottle. We hadn’t unpacked much of anything, so we had to make conversation to keep ourselves entertained.
"I'm proud as hell of you, Zuri." Flip said before pulling an old photo out of the box that was sitting next to him. "Daaaamn "
It was a picture of us at the park down the street from my old house. I remember sneaking out the house late at night to go meet him. I had to be at least 15 then. I stared at the picture; glaring at the bittersweet memory. On the picture we looked so youthful and carefree.
"Look at this one, " he said, handing me another picture. That photo was taken at the mall.
"Look at these soulful hearts in the background," I laughed. "And your big ole white tee shirt."
"Look at your twists with the butterfly clips" We looked through more pictures and laughed so hard at how far we came. Back then, nothing mattered but the love we had for each other. That pure love. That defiant love. No one could tell us anything. We didn't care that we fit the good girl, bad boy cliché. We were happy. We were foolish.
"Two young fools in love," I sighed.
"I wish we could be those fools again," Flip added. Silence filled the room as we both wondered what could have been; what should have been.
Silence filled the room as we both wondered what could have been; what should have been. My generic ringtone filled the room but neither of us moved immediately.
“Was that me or you?" I asked, leaning towards the phones resting on the coffee table.
He looked at me as he sat back down. "That was you," he answered dryly.
"Who was it?" I managed to ask through a mouthful of pizza.
“Bash.” Time stood still as an awkward silence filled the air. Flip and I stared at each other, saying nothing, yet speaking volumes. "So you still talking to that nigga huh?"
I felt the mood shift and Flip's face didn't hide his disapproval. I took a swig of champagne and shrugged. "Why is that a problem?"
“You called me this nigga’s name before.”
“Don’t start, Flip.”
"He’s not your professor no more so why y'all still talking?"
I stood up and grabbed a few books out of one of the boxes that were stacked against the wall. I walked over to my bookshelf, ignoring Flip’s question.
"How long y'all been fucking around, Z? Honestly?” Flip pressed.
"We're just friends, Flip. I'm not a cheater like you."
Flip restrained himself from what he was originally going to say. "But you talking to him now?"
"Why?" I asked in an agitated tone.
"Somebody I know seen y'all out on a little date. And I'm not talking about the other night. Before that. At fuckin’ Chick-Fil-A.”
“Why do you assume he’s the one who took me on the date?”
“So, there’s another nigga? Who? Miss Inez grandson?”
I folded my arms across my chest and poked one of my hips out as I stared at Flip with disgrace in my eyes. “You sure have a lot of questions for a nigga who don’t have no answers.”
Flip shrugged me off and folded his arms too. “You told me you had his number because he was your teacher. Now that he's not, what y'all got to talk about?"
"A lot. We talk about my writing, school, work, stuff like that."
Flip picked up the pizza box and the paper plates and headed toward the kitchen
"When did y'all become so close?"
"He lost his job because of you. Because of me. I feel bad about that because he didn't deserve that. He is a really nice guy so we hang out from time to time. That's all"
"Please don't tell me you giving my pussy away, Zuri" Flip’s voice was almost desperate.
"You gave my pipe away so what does it matter?"
"Zuri, you fuckin him?" he asked in a low voice, inching closer and closer toward me. His front side was against my backside and his lips were barely touching the back of my neck as he mumbled his question again.
His arms wrapped around my waist and his hands rubbed my torso, up until they touched my breasts. My breathing became heavy. I wanted to break away, but I couldn't move. His fingertips gently tugged at my nipples while his tongue made circles around my earlobe.
“This my pussy, Zuri,” he groaned as he stuck his hands inside my tights. I felt his finger pull my thong to the side, while his his thumb pressed against my clit. I felt his hardness poking through his shorts, thumping my ass in a rhythmic motion.
Flip pulled my tights down over my curves, exposing my bare ass. My hands were still on the bookshelf as he planted kisses all over my backside. I bit my lip softly and swayed my head to the side, but I couldn’t utter the words “stop.”
I stepped out of my tights and turned towards Flip. I didn’t wait for him, I pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it aside. My assertiveness made Flip’s eyes lower. The fire behind his eyes were burning into me, causing my temperature to rise. Flip used his frame to push me backwards until my back was pressed against the wall.
He undressed quickly and pressed his chest against mine while his lips hungrily devoured mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he hoisted me off the ground. He used his wood to tease me for a few seconds before he swiftly entered me.
We both let out moans simultaneously. “I hate you, Flip.”
“Mmm-hhm,” he mumbled as he trailed his tongue down my neck. His planted kisses using the same trail his tongue made until he cradled his head on my neck and suckled gently.
I thrusted my hips and rotated them without missing a beat. The last time we had sex, I was drunk, so I didn’t remember much about it; but that night, I was fully alert and my body was ready and willing.
Between the cold wall against my back, Flip’s tight grip on my ass and his hot breath on my neck, I was on fire. I bucked and twisted and rotated until I felt like my soul leaving my body.
Flip chuckled and kissed me everywhere he could while he watched my eyes roll to the back of my head. I tried to cover my face, but Flip used one his hands to grab my arm and pin it over my head.
“Baby,” I panted.
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too, baby,” he groaned as picked up his pace. My arms hooked around his neck and my head was resting on his shoulder as I felt my body prepare for yet another release. I screamed his name while my body jerked in his grip.
Flip held my waist and slid out of me, while my legs were still wrapped around his waist. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He said as he put me down and grabbed my hand. “I’m just a little hungry.”
“You just ate,” I said, confused. Flip had never stopped during sex to ask for food. Flip didn’t answer, he just pulled me to the back of the house toward the bedroom.
It wasn’t until he laid me down on the bed and lifted my legs that I realized just what he was hungry for. I squirmed, laughed, cried, and called for sweet baby Jesus as Flip ate me until he was good and full.
When he finally finished feasting, I closed my legs and curled into the fetal position, hoping to stop the tingling. My eyes grew wide when I saw Flip crawl into the bed and lay me flat on my back. I looked down at his erection and knew that my body was going to be in trouble.
But I loved every second of it.
"You're stronger than anyone would have thought, Booty. You doing your damn thing. You working, going to school, got your own place now. You doing big things,” Flip said after we finished our sex session.
"We were supposed to be doing big things."
"Maybe one day we can, who knows? Maybe this is just a roadblock for us. Something that makes us stronger in the end."
"You have another baby on the way," I whispered.
“Yes, I do" he said after a deep sigh.
"What is it?"
"I don't know yet."
"Do you love her?"
"No, Zuri." He looked me in the eye. "Hell no. I don't love her."
It didn't make me feel better about the situation. In fact, it made me regret having sex with him. How could he make such sweet love to me, how could we create something as special as ZaZa, how could he go and do the same thing with someone he didn't love?
"But you gave her the same gift you gave me." My voice cracked so I cleared my throat and swallowed the large lump.
“Why'd you lie to me? When did you plan on telling me?"
Flip sighed and squeezed me. "I don't know. I can't lie, Zuri, I don't know."
"So you were just going to let me believe there was a court case and that you would be leaving? "
Flip had no words. He stared straight ahead.
"What was your plan, Flip? For us to get married, then one day you just pop up and say surprise! I cheated on you. Here's the proof!"
"I would have told you before the wedding. I planned on telling you. I was just waiting to know for sure."
"So if she wouldn't have gotten pregnant, I would have never known you cheated on me? That's what you're saying?"
Flip sighed and went silent again.
"Don't get quiet on me, now. How many times have you cheated on me?" I knew that I was ruining the moment with my questions, but I couldn’t help it. The sex was so damn good, I almost wanted to reconcile. Then the reality of our situation slapped me in the face. “How many times, Flip?”
I turned to look Flip in his face and saw guilt written all over the handsome motherfucker. "You probably lost count, huh? How many times, Flip! Since I've moved back to the south side. How many nights did you leave me home to go fuck someone else?"
"Its not even like that, baby"
I pulled away from Flip and sat up. "I need to know."
"Four... Maybe five times. That's it.” He said that's it, like I should be proud or thankful.
"Wow" I mouthed. I felt my eyes watering as I thought about him sleeping with someone else. "How many women?"
"Just one."
"Did you come home and sleep with me too? You have a baby so I know you weren't protecting yourself."
"I did protect myself. That's why I don't know how this happened," He told me. "And to answer your question, no, I never came home and slept with you afterward."
"We don't use condoms so you went out and bought condoms to cheat on me, " I cried.
"I didn't. She had them already."
I threw my hands in the air. "And then you pick a bitch that just keeps condoms laying around."
Flip finally sat up too. "Zuri, the more you know, the more you are going to hurt. I'm sorry for everything but don't torture yourself with the details."
"I'd rather know than be left in the dark." I looked Flip in the eye and shook my head.
"Why didn't you just leave me?"
"I never wanted to. I just made some stupid choices in the heat of the moment."
I sniffled and wiped the tears from my face. "I hate you, Flip."
"I know baby, and you have every right to."
"You ruined everything. You know how much I needed you; how much I wanted you. I love you. All I wanted is for us to be a family. Now I'm on my own and you know how I get when I'm overwhelmed. Why you do this to me, Flip?"
Flip held me as I broke down in his arms. I know I may seem stupid or weak, but the pain of betrayal cuts deep. Internal scars are the hardest to heal, especially when they are fresh. It seems like there is nothing that can mask that hurt, so I stopped trying. I stopped trying to pretend that I was okay.
My first love, the father of my child, the man that I wanted to marry had completely broken my heart into microscopic pieces, but still, his embrace felt like home to me. Familiarity made me feel safe.
"We will always be a family, Booty. I love you and you can always call me if you need me. No matter the time or place. You know I'm coming, no questions asked."
After I composed myself, I walked out the room and went into the restroom. Once I fixed myself up, I returned to find Flip sleeping peacefully. I watched him briefly, wishing things between us could have worked out differently but I wasn't comfortable accepting an outside child.
Especially one with a mother as childish as Shalonda appeared to be. I still hadn't mentioned to Flip that she called herself checking me; I was waiting to get as much information on her as I could.
I heard a phone ringing from the living room, so I went to go retrieve it. I noticed it was Flips phone, so I quickly snatched it up. The name LONI flashed across the screen.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Hello?" she echoed. "Who is this?"
"Flip's fiancée, who is this?"
"Flip ain't got no damn fiancée! Who the fuck is this?"
"Sweetheart, we are busy. He will talk to you some other time."
I disconnected the call and powered his phone off. I giggled my way back to the bedroom where I laid down beside my no good baby daddy. I promised myself that on Monday, I would start a new chapter in my life and let go of all the negativity; but it was Saturday and I was lonely, so I planned to make the best of it.
CHAPTER 35 – ENVY
LONI
"Aaaaarrrggghhhh" I screamed a lot as I punched my pillow. I threw my phone down on the bed and fell backwards. Like a child throwing a tantrum, kicked my legs rapidly and whined. I was so frustrated with the fact that Bryce's phone was going straight to voicemail.
It was nearly midnight and his phone had been doing the same thing since I called it earlier and some bitch answered. The last time I talked to him, he told me he needed to run some errands and that was all. It sounded like the girl that answered his phone was the girl from Starbucks, but she didn't seem like she had the balls to call herself his fiancée.
Desperate, I called Kali and put on my pained voice. "Hey Kali, what you doing?"
"Just finished doing Nyla’s hair. You?"
"Trying to get in touch with Bryce. I'm in pain."
"How much pain? You need me to come over?" she asked, concerned.
"No. He has the medicine I need with him. I just think he has me blocked. We had an argument earlier and I think he forgot to unblock me," I lied. "Can you call him and tell him that I'm in major pain?"
"You sure you okay? You don't sound good."
"I'll be fine. Can you call him please? If he doesn't answer, leave a voicemail."
Kali agreed and I waited patiently on her callback. I was wondering if the bitch he was with blocked my number because there was no way his phone had went dead that fast and stayed dead.
The phone didn't even ring one full time before I answered.
