BITTER, page 14
I wasn’t in the mood for an all-out war with Flip, so I knew I needed to pick my battle. I had to decide if I wanted to ask him about the password situation or if I wanted clarification on where the hell he was a little after noon on yesterday.
When I heard the shower turn off, I ran and jumped back in the bed and pretended to be looking at something on my phone. Flip never dried all the way off in the restroom, so the door swung open only seconds after I landed on the bed.
With a towel around his waist and water dripping down his chest, I almost changed my mind, but I could see his phone lighting up again from the side of my eye. I thanked the universe for reminding me of the bigger picture, because temptation almost had almost snatched me in a chokehold.
“Your phone is lighting up,” I mentioned casually, still looking at my phone.
Flip walked over, grabbed his phone and declined the call. I watched him enter his new, secretive ass code, and scroll a few times before using both his hand to type something.
“Let me let this nigga know I’ll call him back tomorrow,” Flip mumbled, shaking his head. “That’s how you know when a person guilty. They keep trying to prove and explain their self.”
“Humph,” I grunted softly. Tell me about it, I thought. “Hey, I thought you told me you were at court all day yesterday.”
Flip looked at me suspiciously. “I was. Why you say that? What you mean?” He grabbed another file and started drying his face and head. “I was in there ‘til damn near four or five fuckin’ with that damn lawyer.”
I hated the fact that Flip thought he could play me for stupid, but I loved it at the same time. I knew his actions and his reactions. His rambling told me he was hiding something. “Oh,” I replied simply.
If he had nothing to hide, he would accept that answer, but if he was guilty, he would press me to see what all I knew.
“What made you ask me that?” he questioned, much to my disappointment. Why the hell couldn’t I be wrong about him sometimes? Why was I always right about him and these dumb ass secrets he chose to keep from me?
I didn’t know what I was fishing for, so I played it cool. “It’s weird. I saw this post on Facebook about this really bad accident that happened yesterday. Someone posted pictures of it, and I saw my car in the background.”
“Hell naw. You sure it was your car?”
I pressed my lips together. “Yes, Flip. I know my car. I was just trying to understand why you told me you were supposed to be in court Downtown, yet you were clearly on the South side.”
Flip took a deep breath and shook his head. “I was in court.”
“Flip-“
“But your car wasn’t,” he sighed and said. Flip sat down at the edge of the bed and looked at me. “The parking was high as hell, so Squeak and his girl dropped me off.”
“They have their own damn car Flip. Why would they need to be in mine?” I asked, upset at his sorry ass excuse.
Flip got up and walked to his dresser. He opened the top drawer and dug around for a few minutes before reclaiming his spot on the bed. He sat down a small wad of money. “Truth?”
“Yes, Flip. Truth. You’ve been acting real different lately and I don’t like it.”
“This court shit is stressing me out, Z. Once it’s over, shit will get back right, I promise.” Flip’s eye locked with mine and I almost felt sorry for him.
That didn’t last long because I realized how he was trying to stray from the matter at hand. “I’m listening. Why was my car not with you?”
“Squeak BM lost her job not too long ago. You know they just had a baby and shit not too long ago.” When Flip paused, I motioned for him to continue. I didn’t understand what Squeak’s situation had to do with me and my car.
“That’s my god-child, our God child, you know?”
“Get to the damn point, Flip!”
“A’ight, a’ight,” Flip said, grabbing the money. “This is for you. I was saving it for you and trying to think of a good reason to give it to you.”
I eyed the cash and took it from Flip without counting it. “You’re making no sense. Stop trying to change the subject before I get mad. What the hell was my car doing at the scene of a damn car accident?”
“I didn’t know nothing about the accident, but it was there because Squeak BM been using your car for the last couple weeks to be an UBER driver.”
I almost started laughing, but I realized Flip wasn’t joking, or at least, it didn’t appear that way. “What?”
“I know I should have told you, but I knew you would say no. They needed the money so I tried to help them out a little. I told them you had to get a cut from each ride.”
I shook my head and looked from Flip to the money, then back at Flip. “You are unbelievable.” I didn’t understand. “They have their own car, Flip. YOU have your own car.”
“None of our shit is insured, though.” Flip and I stared at each other for a few minutes. “You don’t believe me do you? I can call Squeak if you want me to.”
“No need.”
“I’m telling you the truth, Booty. I bet you ain’t gon’ see me in none of them pictures or whatever you saw. I was in court,” he adamantly explained.
I rested my head on the bed and sighed. I felt like I was fighting a losing battle with Flip. There was no point in trying to figure out his train of thought, so I gave up. “Let her know that was her last trip in my car,” I said when I finally lifted my head.
Flip’s phone started to light up again as it was lying face-down in his lap. When he didn’t move, it pissed me off. “Who is calling you?”
He shrugged with an attitude. “I don’t know, I ain’t in the mood to talk.”
I reached for his phone and rolled away from him. He didn’t even dive after me because he knew I couldn’t get into his phone. When he realized that, he tried to reach for the phone, but I moved away too quickly. “So you changed your password? Really?”
Flip still had his hand extended toward me. “Zuri, come on. We was supposed to have a good night.”
“Fuck all that. What’s your password?”
Flip was silent as he stared at me with an annoyed expression on his face. I folded my arms across my chest and glared at him. “You can’t hear?” When he ignored my question for the second time, I tossed the phone on the bed. “You got it, Flip. I see you back on your bullshit.”
“Why the hell you acting so insecure, Zuri? Huh?”
“Why the hell you acting so sneaky? Don’t call me insecure because I’m asking questions!”
Flip’s phone lit up again, and I damn near dove on the phone and pressed the talk button without seeing who it was. “Hello?”
It seemed like Flip pounced on me and snatched the phone, disconnecting the call. “Why the fuck you gotta do all that? That’s childish as fuck, Zuri!”
Flip’s brows were pressed together and the veins in his temple were showing. I couldn’t believe how mad he was, seeing how I didn’t do anything wrong. “No, what’s childish is being in a relationship where all you do it lie and hide shit!”
“So, you don’t trust me?” he asked as if he was the fucking boyfriend of the century.
“It ain’t about trust,” I countered.
“Do I do all that to you, Zuri?”
“You can go through my phone whenever you want. You have my code, Flip!” I yelled, forgetting ZaZa was sleeping. “What you hiding?”
Flip groaned and sat back on the bed. “I understand where you’re coming from. You have every right to feel the way you do, but understand it’s not what you think. The only thing I’m hiding is stuff that could incriminate you. It’s a lot of shit going on with this case that I don’t want to involve you in. I’m really just trying to protect you.”
I felt like my head would explode if I heard one more thing about the stupid ass case that I was still clueless about. I tried googling it and came up with nothing. I was at my wits end with the bullshit.
“I’m tired of hearing about the fucking case! Either tell me everything or stop talking about it all together.” I let out a frustrated scream. “I feel like you lying to me, Flip. I’m not feeling this.”
Flip looked up at me with squinted eyes. “Why would I just up and change my code, Zuri? After all this time?”
“You told me you had the burner phone for all illegal stuff. This phone was supposedly the legit one so why you using this phone to do dirt now?
Flip threw his hands in the air. “You just don’t fucking get it. I’m going to bed, man. I’m dealing with enough bullshit. Goodnight.”
Flip went to his side of the bed and turned his back to me. Within minutes, his shoulders were slowly moving up and down, followed by soft snores.
With tears burning my eyelids, I crawled into bed and cried myself to sleep.
ZURI
I must have hit the snooze button on my alarm five or six times before I finally decided to get up. I was almost an hour behind schedule, but I felt fully rested. I looked at Flip, who was sound asleep with his back still facing me. I wanted to punch him in the neck so bad; instead I just thumped him really hard.
He jumped and slapped the back of his neck, but the nigga didn’t open his eyes. He made a weird snorting sound before resuming his normal snores. “I hope you catch a crick in your neck,” I mumbled as I pulled myself out of bed.
I looked at ZaZa who was laid out on her back, with her arms and legs spread out. She was sleeping so peacefully, I decided not to wake her. Normally, I took her to Miss Inez before I went to class, but Flip had me fucked up. Why should I try to accommodate him and let him get a few extra hours of sleep? Why should I have to drop her off when he didn’t have anything else to do?
After getting myself together and getting dressed, I walked over to ZaZa, kissed her cheek and headed to class. It wasn’t until I was already seated at my desk that I realized I left my textbook at the house. I wanted to leave, but I didn’t want to be at home with Flip, so I did my best to focus while Bash did his lecture.
After what felt like eternity, the bell finally rang. I grabbed my backpack and headed toward the exit, but something told me to turn around. I was normally in a rush to make it to work, but I was off that day, so I made my way to Bash’s desk.
I sat in the first row and waited for all the other students to talk to him before I approached his desk. “I know we’re still technically inside room 1265 but it’s after hours, so am I to call you Bash or Mr. Brenham?”
“You can call me whatever you like, Zuri.”
I smirked a little and folded my arms across my body. “I left my textbook at home today.”
He nodded his head. “I noticed. Well, Professor Brenham did. Bash noticed how much was your skin was glowing under the light. He noticed that you look younger with your hair pulled back like that.”
I couldn’t help but blush.
“He also noticed you’ve been crying. When you’re sleepy, your eyes turn a little red and your lids get low,” he said. “When you’ve been crying, they’re red and slightly puffy.”
I looked down at my shoes because I didn’t want to look at him with tears in my eyes. I hated that I was such a cry baby.
Bash snatched two Kleenex out the box on his desk and handed them to me. “You want to talk about it? You still owe me lunch.”
I dabbed at my eyes and nodded my head, still looking at my feet like a child. I was embarrassed by the way I was acting and I was sure Bash was looking at me with pity. I finally looked up and connected with his eyes.
I didn’t see pity in them at all. I can’t quite explain what was lingering in his eyes, but it made my entire body shiver.
“Chick-fil-a?” he asked, never breaking my gaze.
“I’ll see you there,” I said, hoarsely, before turning to walk away. The walk out the classroom was the longest, most awkward thing in the world because I felt stupid and ugly, yet I knew for a fact, Bash was watching.
When I made it to my car, I pulled out my handheld mirror and almost gasped at my reflection. My eyes were puffy, my nose was red, and my lips looked dry and crusty. My naturally curly lashes and my laid baby hairs were the only two things that separated myself and a bum.
My insecurities washed over me like waves in the ocean and I was afraid I would drown in them. I pulled out my phone to text Bash. I told him something came up and I would have to take a rain check. Less than a minute later, I saw that he text back, but I was too busy reading the messages Flip sent. They ranged from “Why didn’t you take ZaZa to daycare?” to “What time you coming home?”
I didn’t respond to any of his messages because none of them contained his password or the word sorry.
I opened Bash’s message and read it aloud. “Nope, not having it. See you in a bit.” I giggled and took a deep breath. I wiped my face again, which made it worse because my fingers left small red blotches on my face. I found myself wishing that I wore makeup in that moment.
As if he was watching, Bash sent me a text telling me that I looked beautiful. It was almost scary how it came right on time. I looked around the parking lot to see if he was watching me, but he was nowhere to be found. I had been called beautiful many times before; it was something all girls wanted to hear, but in that moment, it was what I needed hear.
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I walked into Chick-Fil-A feeling nervous and anxious. Flip was the only man I’d ever been on a date with. Not that I was calling my meeting with Bash a date or anything, since that would be considered cheating; but it was an intimate setting where it would be just us two, alone.
In the back of my mind, I felt like what I was doing was wrong; but I didn’t really care. I was tired of always doing the right thing. Besides, Bash and I were just…friends. Acquaintances, even. There’s no harm in eating chicken with a friend.
When I saw Bash’s smiling face, my heart warned me to turn and run, but I kept walking towards the only man besides Flip, that could make my body heat up with one single glance. I slid into the booth across from Bash and sat my purse next to me.
“It’s good to see you smiling,” Bash said. I didn’t know how it was possible for any man to have a voice so deep and smooth. I could only imagine the things he used to whisper in his ex-wife’s ear.
I shuddered at the thought and focused my attention on Bash’s perfect white teeth. I didn’t realize I was smiling, so I just shrugged slightly.
“You cold?” Bash asked, taking off the charcoal blazer he was wearing. I didn’t have to follow his eyes to know what he was subtly looking at and I wished I was wearing something more than a fitted yellow t-shirt. He walked over and draped the blazer over my shoulders before returning to his seat.
“Thank you.”
“No problem,” he answered. “Oh shit, you ready to order? This is a cheap date, there aren’t any waiters or nothing.”
“You don’t say?” I sarcastically replied with a playful eye roll.
After we ordered our food, we made small talk until it came out. Despite me telling him that it was on me, Bash paid for the food.
“This was supposed to be on me,” I told him after our food arrived.
He waved his hand dismissively. “Ahh, no worries. You can cover the next one,” he said with a smirk.
“Who said there would be a next one?”
“You, when you agreed to pay.”
“And if you don’t let me pay again next time?”
He hunched his shoulders and held out his hand. “I guess we gotta try until you hold up to your end of the bargain.”
I nodded my head and picked up my drink. “You’re slick, I have to watch you.” Our eyes locked the second my lips wrapped around the straw. My eyes darted toward the table.
“You have the worst poker face ever,” Bash laughed.
I nodded in agreement. “I know. That’s why I stick to Pitty pat.”
Bash’s laugh came from the pit of his stomach. I noticed that his eyes watered lightly when he laughed hard. “I haven’t played Pitty-Pat in so long.”
“You’re missing out.”
“I bet,” he responded. “How’s work going? Brian isn’t working you too hard, is he?”
“Not at all. I love the job, honestly. I’m still in the probationary period, but once that’s over, he told me I would be able to move into the journalism and marketing side so I’m excited about that.”
“That’s good to hear. You’ll do well in that field. In the meantime, you should try blogging to build a following. Then maybe branch off into books, then scripts.”
“Whoa!” I waved my hands. “I’m only a beginner.”
“We all were at some point. Everyone starts there, but it’s up to you on how long you stay there.”
“I wouldn’t even know where to start to try and write a book.”
“At the beginning,” he said with a wink. “The great thing about being a writer is that you’re in charge. There’s no right or wrong way to tell your story.”
“That’s true, but, I don’t know the technical stuff.”
“That’s what editors are for,” he stated with a smirk. “I’m not giving you the easy way out. Stop making excuses and start believing in yourself.”
“Do you believe in yourself?” I countered. “Or is this what you wanted out of life? Being a college professor?”
Bash appeared to be contemplating my question. His eyes traveled up to the ceiling before landing back on me. “I wanted to help people. I wanted to be that person who made a difference in someone’s life. This is just a checkpoint for me, it’s not my final destination.”
“Are you trying to make a difference in my life?” I raised an eyebrow and titled my head slightly.
“Only if you’re willing.” His voice had become raspy and his eyes were low, yet his stare was bold as our eyes locked. Instinctively, I wanted to look down, but I couldn’t break our gaze. When I ran my tongue across my lips, I saw his lips curl at the corners. I cleared my throat and looked at my half-eaten food.
