Let It Go: Benny's Story, page 5
part #1 of Let Go Series
“Yeah,” Benny responded, his voice dejected. It made Sophie pause and second guess her decision to leave, but that only lasted a few seconds before she looked into Benny’s eyes, their liquid color looking watery. She felt sorry for Benny at that moment, something she never thought she’d ever feel for him, which angered her. She steeled her spine, handed Katy back to Benny, and took a minute to check Benji one last time before heading out without so much as a goodbye. It should have felt good – walking away like that, leaving Benny to his own misery – but it only served to expand her own pain. That night, she drank half a bottle of wine before she finally went to bed.
Chapter 8
Sophie had been jogging for as long as she could remember, but lately, it seemed like she had been pushing herself harder. She needed a way to divert some of that pent-up stress that Benny had been bringing about. She opted to run laps at the park a few miles from her home. Unlike most people, she liked to change up her running patterns, switch up the scenery, making it less routine and more about just getting away from life while doing something healthy.
She came to an abrupt halt after her first lap when she spotted Benny sitting on what looked like a blanket on the grass with Katy and Benji beside him. The sight of him – the bad boy so domesticated, a smile on his lips and a glint in his eyes that Sophie could see all the way from where she was standing stock still – had her heart beating a little faster. She almost had to remind herself that she hated him, hated all that he represented, and all that he had done. Her awestruck smile was slowly transforming into a scowl as she watched Benny play with the twins. It should have been her kids with Uncle Benny, but the better version of Benny, not this so-called reformed image that he had been trying to pass off. Sophie knew him better than any of his current friends, and she knew that he was no good for the people around him, especially the ones who looked up to him and loved him.
She wasn’t sure how it happened, but she had found herself leaning against a tree, observing the way Benny leaned closer to Katy, making a silly face. Sophie snorted out loud and then quickly looked around to make sure that no one heard her. God! Benny brought out such differing and extreme emotions in her, literally within the span of minutes, and he probably didn’t even realize it. She couldn’t understand how she could feel empathy for him, amusement even, one moment and then an intense hatred like no other the next.
She hated the very thought of him after Ethan’s death, after all she lost, and for years after, but she figured that she had grown up from such feelings. Until she laid eyes on Benny again at Mason and Kat’s place. She berated herself because of those same emotions; if it were anyone else, she probably would have gone up to them to at least find out how Benji was doing, although clearly he was much better. Her instinct told her to go check on her semi-patient, but her regard for Benny stopped her. She sighed to herself, the petty side winning as she started to push off from the tree to continue her run. But when she looked back up, she couldn’t hold back the chuckle that escaped her lips. Somehow, both Benji and Katy had started crawling away, which would have been okay had they gone in the same direction, but they were apparently trying to get to the opposite ends of the earth as quickly as possible, and surprisingly, those little ones were crawling very hastily. The look on Benny’s exasperated face as his head whipped back and forth trying to figure out who to go after first, and maybe even how they got away in the first place, was enough to have Sophie covering her mouth on another chuckle.
Before she could stop herself, she ran toward them, scooping up Benji and calling out to Benny to go grab Katy, all while laughing.
She placed Benji down on the blanket and sat down herself, feeling a funny tingle when Benny’s skin brushed hers as he sat down beside her.
“What are you doing here?” she asked Benny.
“I could ask you the same thing.”
“Lucky for you, I was running around the park when I spotted you and your little dilemma.” She stuck her hands out almost like a zombie, opened her mouth and widened her eyes and she swung her head back and forth, mimicking Benny’s flustered look from a few minutes before.
She stopped when she heard Benny’s thunderous laugh and she looked at him with his head thrown back, the muscles in his neck moving, the tattoos dancing along his skin. She smiled despite herself. She hadn’t had a purely joyous moment in a while and this felt nice, even if it was with her enemy.
“I guess it was lucky for me.” He smiled, the sincerity reaching his eyes, and it brought the corners of Sophie’s mouth back up. “Benji had no fever today and had slept well after you left last night. It was nice outside, so I thought that some fresh air wouldn’t hurt. This is the park Kat usually brings them to, so I figured it would be a good idea.” He let out a dramatic sigh and clutched his chest with his hand in mock fashion. “I didn’t realize how much more work it is. They nearly gave me a heart attack.”
“I noticed.” Sophie laughed. “I should have stayed back longer just to see what you would have done.”
“Probably kept panicking,” he teased with a smirk.
“It’s not like they could out-crawl you. You just had to go for one and then go for the other.”
“Yes, but if something were to happen to one while I grabbed the other, I’d never forgive myself,” he responded seriously.
That stopped whatever clever retort Sophie was preparing to give him. This wasn’t the coldhearted, selfish guy who was responsible for so much of her misery when she was younger. He cared about someone more than himself. It broke her heart and made it soar at the same time. Ethan would have been so proud of him, of the way he cared for these two babies as if they were his own blood, but it was too late. It didn’t redeem the damage that he had already inflicted.
“So you live around here?” Benny broke her from her thoughts.
“A few miles away, but I drove here. I wouldn’t be able to appreciate running around the park if I had been tired from running here already.” She felt the need to explain even though he hadn’t asked, and she wasn’t sure why.
“You run here a lot?” It felt like small talk, but his questions were pulling her from her painful thoughts, so she indulged.
“Sometimes.” She shrugged. “I run in different parts of the city so that it never gets boring. I hardly ever run the same route two days in a row, unless I’m in a rush.”
“I like that.” He nodded. “I usually just work out at the gym, get everything in one place, you know? I’ve never really thought about how the surroundings might affect my workout, but I can see why you change it up. It’s a good idea.”
“Uh, yeah, thanks.” Sophie was caught a little off guard by both the compliment and the casualness with which they were speaking.
“Maybe I’ll join you a few times and you can show me some good routes.” She froze for a moment. Seeing him when she had to or by chance was one thing, but hanging out with the source of so much of her anguish was another thing. She registered the wistfulness in his tone, and it had her thinking that he was just throwing out an idea in passing, something to keep the conversation going. It made her feel a touch better.
“Yeah, sure,” she responded, knowing it wasn’t going to happen, but feeling better about not being the one to refuse. Although, why she would even feel bad saying no to Benny in the first place was beyond her.
“So, Benji is back to his old self,” Benny stated.
“Looks like it.” She looked at the little guy nestled near her legs, fascinated by the toy in his hands. “How’d he do last night?”
“I gave him some more Tylenol, and he was out like a light after that. Slept almost the entire night. Woke up like a changed man this morning.” Benny smiled.
“Changed man, huh?” she giggled.
“Oh, definitely. What do you think he was doing when you scooped him up? He saw a pretty girl and went after her. He’s learning from his uncle.”
It hurt a bit to hear him say “uncle,” but his sly smile and the fact that they were making small talk seem painless had her going along with him. “Oh, is that right? And if he was going after pretty girls, what was Katy doing?”
“The girl’s smart. She was crawling away from me as far and fast as she could go.”
Benny kept a smile on his face, but his tone had changed from lighthearted to something a little heavier. She didn’t want to think about it or the truth behind his words. She was enjoying time with the guy she once knew rather than the monster he had become. So, she chose to ignore the meaning of his sentence and continue their playful attitude. “Then I guess she must have been learning from me.” She smiled wide.
Benny’s smile seemed to falter for a moment and Sophie wondered whether the truth in her statement might override the joking nature of it. Benny’s lips tipped back up and Sophie breathed a sigh of relief. “Like I said, a smart girl,” he chuckled. “I’m sure Mason would be happy to know his baby girl is already running away from men. You might have to take her under your wing and teach her a thing or two about how to spot a good guy. I’d say that’s Kat’s job, but hell, she picked Mason, so Katy’s bound to be hopeless.”
She hadn’t needed to be around Benny more than a couple of times to know he absolutely adored Kat and Mason and thought the world of them. “Watch it, Mister, that’s my boss you’re talking about.”
“I’ll put in a good word for you,” he laughed.
Sophie opened her mouth to retort, but just then Katy let out a loud wail. “I guess that’s your cue to go home. I’d better get a move on, too. Someone interrupted my run,” she stressed in mock sarcasm.
“Can’t blame me. It was all them.” He laughed and pointed to the two squirming babies he was trying to wrestle with.
“All right, well, good luck,” she said as she started to walk off, feeling a bit awkward all of a sudden.
“Hey, Sophie,” he called out.
“Yeah?”
He opened his mouth and then shut it and then opened it again before finally saying, “It was great seeing you again.” He paused. “I mean, like this.”
“Yeah, Benny, it was,” she agreed and walked off back toward the path to continue her run and get her mind into a numb place.
Chapter 9
Benny spent the next couple weeks busy trying to buy out a club. This time around, the current owner was more receptive to Benny and things had been going relatively smoothly. He hadn’t had time to think about Sophie or the way she made him feel. Every time he was around her, a mixture of pain and relief surrounded him. He felt like she truly understood his suffering from the loss of Ethan, and he liked the bright memories her presence brought about. He also hated that he thought about Ethan a lot more when she was around. Her mood swings around him also were confusing as hell. One minute, she would be bright and shined like a king’s treasure, her beauty stunning him into acting like an awkward teenager – and he had never been an awkward teenager. When her bright brown eyes shined on him, he couldn’t help the desire that coursed through his veins. But when her tongue lashed out at him¸ it actually intrigued him more. She was feisty and he liked that. She kind of reminded him of Kat. Although Kat was like a sister to him, he appreciated her and told himself the day he met her that if he was ever going to settle down, it would be with a girl like her, and Sophie seemed to be hitting the nail on that one.
Mason had called Benny earlier that day to see if he wanted to come over and hang out since Kat was going out. What Mason was really asking was whether Benny would help him watch the twins. Like Benny could ever say no to Mason or his niece and nephew.
John and Chain had come over, too, and between the four of them, the twins were in good hands. After they had gone to bed, the guys hung out like old times, watching TV and laughing while drinking beers.
“So you let her off the leash,” John had joked about Kat going out. Both John and Chain were pretty quiet guys, but get them riled up or drinking, and you’d think they were out to make new friends. They were fun and free, and John thought he was funny. He wasn’t really, but Benny loved the guy anyway.
“Nah, Kat’s clever, she probably figured out how to open the collar herself,” Chain laughed.
“Or wiggled out,” John chuckled.
Yep, neither were really funny.
“Hey! That’s my wife you guys are talking about.”
“We’re saying she’s smart,” Chain retorted, a smile on his face.
“Whatever,” mumbled Mason.
“Where’s Kat anyway?” Chain asked. Mason had told Benny that she’d gone out with a girlfriend but hadn’t said much else. Considering the life that Kat had led before she met Mason, not to mention the time she spent pretty much imprisoned in Mason’s home, Benny was always glad to hear about Kat going out with friends. She was such an amazing person and it was a wonder she hadn’t had many friends before they all met her. She needed people to lean on, and she was slowly blossoming. It was a pleasure to watch it all happen.
“You remember the new doc, Sophie, working for me?”
“Yep,” John said, tight-lipped. Sophie’s new presence to the group had affected him as well. She was just as much a reminder of Ethan to him as she was to Benny. Chain had nodded. He knew who she was as well, but it hadn’t had the same effect on him.
“Well, you know Kat when she gets an idea, and she’s had her eye on making Sophie her new friend since she met her. She badgered her to go out until Sophie finally relented. They’re off getting drunk somewhere.”
Benny chuckled to himself. Kat was hard to say no to. He was pretty impressed that Sophie hadn’t caved sooner. It made him appreciate her just a tiny bit more.
They spent another few hours horsing around before John and Chain called it a night. Benny stayed a little longer to help Mason clean up. He was just about to head out when Mason’s phone rang.
“Hey, Kat,” Mason spoke. Benny couldn’t hear what Kat was saying on the other end, but it sounded loud and a little slurred.
He listened as Mason tried to understand what she was saying while laughing at whatever it was that he heard. Finally, he hung up and turned to Benny, a grimace on his face.
Benny had heard enough to figure out that Kat was drunk and needed a ride home. He was pretty sure Kat offered to take a cab home, but Mason wasn’t having it.
“I got it,” Benny said.
“You sure? I’d go, but I can’t leave the kids. Unless you want to stay and I’ll go?”
“Nah, don’t worry about it. Be back soon.” He got the address and strode out the door.
Benny prided himself on being a smart guy, but he hadn’t realized that a drunk Kat probably meant a drunk Sophie. He wasn’t prepared when he came face to face with a smoking hot, fairly inebriated Sophie. Kat was just as gorgeous as ever, but she didn’t get his blood plumping.
“Hey, Kitty Kat,” he said as he found the two girls sitting on a bench outside of some bar. “Sophie,” he nodded.
“Benny!” Kat screeched. “I love you, Benny! You’re a great guy for coming to get us, even though you’ve been a meanie before.”
Benny had seen Kat hammered only a handful of times and each time was a riot. She was a very happy drunk. She, unlike John and Chain, was funny, and she didn’t really try.
“All right, Kat, in you go.” He ushered her into the car before going back for Sophie. She seemed melancholy, not a bubbly drunk at all. Her downcast eyes allowed him to scan her for a minute. She was wearing a short black dress that hugged her curves like a second skin. It was long sleeve and high cut, which somehow made it more alluring. Her dark brown hair was flowing freely around her shoulders. When he went to help her up, she looked up at him through her lashes and he nearly died. They were watery and despair was written across them, but they were bright with the emotions she was feeling. Her smoky green eyeshadow only emphasized the green flakes within her deep brown eyes. He put his hand on her back and it was then that he realized the true intrigue of the dress. It was backless and her skin was hot to the touch even though the night had turned a bit chilly. He felt the smooth curve of her spine as he helped her into the car, his eyes shamelessly roaming over her body.
“Kat, I know where you live, but Sophie, you’ll have to tell me your address,” he told the girls as he got in.
“Sophie doesn’t like you very much,” Kat tried to whisper and failed miserably as she leaned closer to Benny. “Shhh, don’t tell her that I told you.”
“I think you’re right,” Benny said, trying to hide his smile from Kat’s antics as he looked at Sophie in his rearview mirror. She was staring straight at him, her eyes full of fire now.
“We should go dancing!” Kat announced.
“No more dancing for tonight,” Benny responded.
“I’ll dance with Mase! He’ll dance with me, right Benny?”
“He’ll do anything you want, Kitty Kat. You have him wrapped around your finger. I’d tell you not to tell him that, but I’m sure he knows it. You also probably won’t remember this tomorrow anyway.”
“Okay, Benny.” She smiled. “I really do love you.” Apparently, Kat was also a very loving drunk, too. “But you have ghosts in your closet.”
“You mean skeletons?” he asked.
“Yeah!” She snapped her fingers like she had just thought of something special. “Yeah, skeletons. You should get rid of them.”
He wasn’t sure what in the heck Kat was talking about, but he attributed it to the alcohol talking. Besides, she knew enough about his shady past to know he had plenty of skeletons collecting dust. He wondered why she was bringing it up now, but he didn’t think he’d get anywhere having a serious conversation with her.
“I’m trying,” he responded seriously. He really was trying to break away from his life. He was pretty much there.
“Here we go,” Benny said as they made their way to Kat’s place. Mason must have been watching for them because he bounded out the door as soon as they pulled up.
“Mase! Can we pretend it’s your birthday?” Kat giggled.
