Let It Go: Benny's Story, page 12
part #1 of Let Go Series
A few minutes later, they heard John come in.
“See,” Kat smirked. They headed out to say hello and then stayed in the dining room to continue their gossip. Meanwhile, John fixed the system in under five minutes and the boys started playing some game. When Kat heard one of the kids cry, she got up to go check on them, and then Sophie heard a second wailing. She got up to go help Kat, but Mason stood, “I got it.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. John’s tired of me kicking his ass.” He smiled.
“You wish,” John chuckled.
Mason left the room and John came over to Sophie. “How have things been?” John asked.
“Wow, John, I think that’s the most you’ve said to me…ever,” Sophie teased.
“You’ve been a bit preoccupied,” he said as he raised his eyebrows. “Things with Benny going good?”
“Yeah, he’s a great friend,” Sophie responded.
“Friend, huh?”
“Not you, too!” Sophie cried.
“Hey, hey,” John put his hands up in mock surrender, “I’m just saying that you guys are awfully cozy for friends.”
“That’s because he’s really an amazing person. He’s there for me when I need him. He helps with anything I ask him to. He’s just…he’s really great.”
“Yeah, he is good about that.” John nodded. “Once you’re in his circle, you’re in for life. I knew when he paid your hospital bills that he’d always watch over you.”
“What?” Sophie gasped. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “What are you talking about?”
“Don’t worry, Sophie, I know about it. I had been checking on you for Benny. After Ethan had died, when you were grief-stricken and hospitalized, Benny paid your bill. It took a lot of convincing to get him to let go of the past after that.” Sophie had only been half listening, the words John was saying slowly processing. She remembered her hospital stay. She hadn’t been “sick with grief.” She had miscarried. Her parents had been disappointed in her when they found out she was pregnant, but she only knew that because she heard her dad tell her mom that. They never said a bad word to her. They visited her in the hospital rather than stay with her, and her mom patted her on the back and said everything would be okay. It was their way of saying they cared. And she knew they did, they were just…that was just how they were.
She hadn’t thought twice about the bills, although she should have known that even insurance wouldn’t cover all the costs she had accrued. If she had to think about it, she always assumed her parents had paid the remainder of the bills. They never talked about it, but she should have known they didn’t have that kind of money. And now, to learn Benny had watched after her? Made sure she was taken care of? Even paid for her hospital bills? She wondered briefly what would have happened had he learned the real reason for her hospital stay back then before she pushed those thoughts out of her mind. She wasn’t dwelling on the past any longer.
“John…I don’t understand.” She comprehended what he had said, even started processing it, but it wasn’t making sense just yet.
“You didn’t know?” he asked surprised. “I’m sorry, Sophie. I just assumed that Benny had told you. He was in a bad place himself then, but he asked me to check on you. I did, but when you were hospitalized, it was too much for Benny, so he let you go, but not before he made sure that whatever your insurance didn’t cover was paid. I shouldn’t have said anything; it wasn’t my story to tell. I just…I thought you knew.”
“Why?” Sophie asked. “Why did he do it?”
John looked at her like she’d asked a redundant question. Maybe she had, but she needed to hear the words. “Because he wanted to make sure you were okay. Because he cared about you, Sophie. He always has…more than he’s ever admitted, even to himself. That never stopped.”
It was too much. It was overwhelming. Benny had been there for her when she needed him. In his own way, but still, he’d been there. She had already forgiven him for his role in everything, she’d realized her wish that he’d been there for her after Ethan’s death was childish, and God help her, she had feelings for him that were more than friendly. And now, to find out that he hadn’t let her go through it all on her own...it was just too much.
“I…I have to go,” she stuttered.
“No, wait, Sophie, sit, calm down.”
“John…I have to go…I have to…Benny.” She couldn’t form complete sentences. “Please tell Kat that I had to go and I’ll call her later,” she called out as she turned to John.
“I’m sorry,” he responded, but he had a Cheshire cat smile on his face, and somehow she didn’t think he was truly sorry.
*****
Sophie pounded on Benny’s door, not sure what she was going to say. She had thought about the ramifications of this new information during the entire drive over. Would she thank him? Would she ask him to explain himself? Would she inquire as to why he stopped keeping tabs on her after she was out of the hospital? Would she yell at him for not telling her sooner so she could have saved them both the trouble of thinking he was an uncaring asshole back in the day?
She continued to pound the door for another minute or so.
“I’m coming, I’m coming.” She heard Benny’s voice on the other side, but her fists didn’t take stock of the situation. They just kept banging on his door.
It swung open and Sophie’s hand stopped mid-knock. She froze at the sight before her. She had clearly interrupted his shower because Benny stood before her with only a towel draped low on his hips, water droplets peppering his skin, his hair wet and tousled, a day-old scruff showing on his strong jaw, all his tattoos on prominent display for her watering mouth. She was surprised she hadn’t swallowed any flies with how wide her jaw had probably dropped.
“Sophie?” he asked, and by the tone in his voice, she was sure that hadn’t been the first time he said her name. She had lost all train of thought. “Is everything okay?” The worried expression on his face didn’t go unnoticed, and she dropped her hand quickly, realizing it was still up in the air.
“I…uh…yeah, everything’s fine. It’s just…I know what you did.”
“What I did?” Benny asked.
“I know you watched over me after Ethan died.”
“How did you…John,” he answered his own question before he could finish asking it. “Are you here to tell me that I should have minded my own business?”
“I’m here to thank you,” she whispered, her voice hoarse, her eyes having a hard time staying focused on his. He stepped to the side to let her walk in, but when she moved to step inside, her body brushed his. She stopped, her body ever so slightly touching. Even with all her clothes on and the cool air, the dampness of his skin, she could feel the heat of his body caressing hers. Her breath hitched as she looked up into Benny’s eyes. His were smoldering, his eyes glued to the shallow rise and fall of her chest.
“Thank you, Benny,” she whispered, and Benny’s eyes trailed to her lips. “Thank you for being there for me. For watching out for me. For being you. It means so much to me…you mean so much to me. I just…” And then her lips were on his. She wasn’t even sure if she had moved toward him or he had pulled her toward him. Although, she was pretty sure that she had leaned in for the kiss, but she felt tingles throughout her entire body as his tongue plundered her mouth.
He kicked the door closed, their mouths still glued together, and brought his hands to her face, cupping her with his palms. She moaned into his mouth and brought her hands to rest on his hips. His naked hips. His very naked hips. She broke away and looked down. His towel was no longer around his hips but pooling at his feet. And he was clearly enjoying the taste of her, his hardness pointing directly at her as if saying, “yep, you.”
She trailed a finger down the “V” and he sucked in a sharp breath before he grabbed her hands with his.
“Sophie, no. God, I’m sorry. I keep fucking things up with you.” He bent down to pick up the towel, but she put a hand on him to stop him.
“Don’t,” she said softly.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” he told her.
“Benny, I want you.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Benny, look at me. Hear what I’m telling you. I want you.” She made sure to punctuate each word. He growled deep in his throat before he captured her mouth once more. He picked her up, his lips not leaving hers as he moved them to the bed.
He put her down gently and stood there, his eyes scanning her still clothed body while she racked in the full package that was Benny. “I want you, Benny,” she repeated as she started unbuttoning her blouse. He watched, enraptured as she removed every item of clothing, slowly, torturously.
“Beautiful,” he told her when she was laying on the bed, naked, displayed for him. “You’re too beautiful for words.” She felt his words and the awe in his tone through her entire being. “God, Soph.” That was the first time he had ever used that nickname on her, and she suddenly loved it. It sounded so reverent coming from his mouth, the way he said it, like she was the ultimate prize. “I’ve dreamed of this so many times. I’ve pictured you right here, just like this, more times than I can remember. And never was it as good as reality. Are you sure?” he asked, the expectation that she’d turn him down apparent in his tone.
If Sophie hadn’t been sure of what she was about to do before, she was definitely sure now. His words made her tremble, the way he stared at her made her moan, and when she whispered, “I’m sure,” and he covered her body with his, she felt more alive than she ever had.
He held himself propped up on his hands around her head as his lips teased hers. It was his way of promising to be gentle with her, take care of her, cherish her. She loved that, but she didn’t want gentle. She wanted Benny. She brought her hands behind his head and pushed down so that the force of their kiss bruised both their lips. She arched her hips up and was rewarded with Benny’s hips grinding down as he groaned.
“You’re making it hard to go slow,” he whispered against her lips.
“I don’t think you’re having any issues in the hard department,” she teased and drew his lower lip into her mouth as he chuckled lightly.
“Fuck, Soph,” he moaned as she raked her nails down his back. “I’ve been dying being around you and not doing a damn thing. So unless you want this over before it starts, you’ll let me be in control.” Before she could respond, he grabbed both her hands from behind him and pinned them above her head. He kissed her fiercely on the lips to stop any retorts she had in mind. He ground his hips into her again and that more than shut her up.
She felt more than saw the triumphant smile on his lips as he peppered kisses along her jaw until he settled in the crook of her neck. He kissed a trail down her neck, between her breasts, stopping to suck on each nipple. She arched her back as his tongue swirled around each peak. “More,” she whispered as his hand made its way to her core.
“Gladly,” he whispered against her skin as his lips continued their downward descent. She felt his lips just brush against her before she felt his nip at her thighs.
“Benny.” She spoke his name as a plea, but a plea for what, she wasn’t sure.
“Look at me,” he commanded, and she obeyed. She watched as his mouth devoured her and his fingers plied her open, his eyes locked on hers the entire time, a glint in his eyes that was a mix of awe and hunger. It was only moments before she cried out for the first time.
As she rode out her wave of ecstasy, she was vaguely aware of the sound of a wrapper ripping. Condom, she thought somewhere in the deep recesses of her mind.
“Sophie,” Benny whispered her name as he held himself poised at her entrance. It was a request, an assurance, an appeal to continue.
“Please,” she whispered. She wanted him. No, she needed him.
Before she could finish her own thought, she felt him fill her and then he stilled.
“So fucking good,” he said. “So fucking good,” he repeated.
“Benny, please,” she responded. It was her way of asking him to move, to finish what they had started, and he obliged.
As he moved inside her, he kissed her, stroking her tongue with his own, mimicking the rhythm of their bodies. She felt herself start to shutter. She was close.
“Oh God, Benny,” she moaned into his mouth as her hands tightened around him. As soon as she found her release, Benny groaned and shuttered with his climax. Just like that, she could no longer comprehend the world as anything but stars, fireworks, and explosions…and Benny. Definitely Benny. Sophie was no stranger to intimacy, but nothing had ever felt like that. It wasn’t the sex, although Benny definitely could win an award for his part. It was the way his body melted into hers; it was the way her soul called to his. If there was an afterlife, she hoped it felt exactly like that moment had.
“Better than any dream.” Benny spoke after he collapsed beside her and drew her body into his. “Never tire of that,” he said more to himself than to her, but Sophie had heard, and she found herself smiling as she snuggled in close to him.
“Me neither,” she said quietly before exhaustion took over. But the last thing she remembered was the feel of Benny’s arms around her, and she had never felt that safe before in her life. He was her protection, her security; he was her shelter…from herself.
Chapter 21
Benny had been with his fair share of women. More often than not, he had a night of fun and then they’d part their separate ways. Occasionally, he’d have a friend with benefits, but when they’d get too clingy, he’d hightail it out of there as fast as he could. It’s not that he didn’t want to settle down, especially after seeing Mason get his happily ever after; it’s just that no one had ever caught his attention that way. But one night with Sophie, and he was addicted. He knew he wouldn’t be able to go back to being friends after that. He had found a rush like he’d never experienced. All those years of chasing bigger and better dreams, and never really finding it…but now he knew what bliss felt like.
Imagine that moment when something truly fantastic happened to you, so great that you actually wanted to pound your fists and scream “yes” as loud as you could. It was like adrenaline pumping through you for just a few seconds, but you are practically high with excitement. That was what being with Sophie was like for Benny – except it didn’t just last a moment, it was constant.
He’d been on the verge of feeling that since they had become friends, but he knew, deep down, that once he had a taste of her, he’d be doomed. When he woke up the next day to realize Sophie was still in his arms, he wasn’t going to let her go. He watched her sleep, so peaceful, so wonderful, so beautiful. If she regretted it, he’d be gutted, but he’d convince her otherwise. When her eyes fluttered open, and a small smile appeared on her lips, he breathed a sigh of relief.
“You’re mine now, Soph,” he had simply stated as she turned in his arms to look at him.
“I know,” she continued to smile. “But you know what that means?” she asked.
“What?”
“You’re mine, too.”
“Been yours, Soph…been yours.”
Benny had never experienced such joy, such satisfaction in life before as he did dating Sophie. For the next two months, he understood exactly what Mason and Kat felt. He got why Mason would often watch Kat as she flittered across the room or why Kat’s face would light up when she talked about Mason, even when they were arguing. Although, that was more of a red-tinged glow, but a glow nonetheless.
He knew that he had a goofy smile on his face most of the time, but he didn’t care. He was well and truly happy. Not that he and Sophie were perfect all the time. They had their first argument a week after they started dating about where they were spending the night. Sophie had stayed at his place almost every night that week, mostly because Benny couldn’t handle the thought of not being with her, and pretty much guilt-tripped her to stay over. After a week, though, Sophie wanted to spend the night in her bed. Benny had no problem going to her place, but that wasn’t the issue. He thought she wanted to spend the night at her place alone. It took them a bit of arguing and some complaining before they realized they misunderstood each other.
“Benny, I love waking up in your arms. Of course, I want to spend the night with you,” she huffed after they realized what the fight was about. “I just want to be in my own bed.”
“Anything you want, Soph,” he told her, “as long as I’m with you.” He had been dying to tell her that they should just move in together since he didn’t plan to spend a night apart for as long as he lived, but he knew it was too much too soon. He went from being a bachelor to a one-woman man in the blink of an eye, and it was all because of Sophie.
“Finally, man,” John had told Benny when Benny informed him that Sophie was his girl the day after they first made love. “You guys have been running circles around each other for too long. We were on the verge of placing bets to see how long before you two gave in.”
“You’re lucky I love you, Johnny,” Benny teased.
“Nah, Benny, you’re lucky I’m not over there or I’d kick your ass for calling me Johnny,” he laughed. “But seriously, I’m happy for you. She’s a great girl, and you deserve some good in your life.”
“Thanks, John.”
“Anytime, bro.”
When Sophie had answered Kat’s call on his phone later that same morning, he had been on the opposite side of the room and could still hear Kat’s squeal through the phone.
“Tell me good news, Sophie,” she had said so loud that Benny heard through the phone.
“Good news,” Sophie teased. And that was when the shriek heard around the world came into being.
Since then, things had stayed the same but had also drastically changed. They continued to hang out, but this time, there was an ease about their behavior toward each other. They still bantered, they ran errands together, watched movies, and hung out with their friends. Benny even met Sophie’s other friends. They met her girlfriends for drinks so she could introduce him. One sneered at his tattoos, another couldn’t keep her hands to herself, and the third seemed okay. They were all nice enough, but he understood why Sophie hadn’t been too close with them. They weren’t the kind of people you could share your secrets with and know they’d have your back. It was no wonder she had grown so close to Kat.
