Totally Worth It, page 9
Sam glanced over toward where Mia’s team was warming up.
“Where’s Julie, by the way? Wasn’t last night your big date or whatever? I figured you stayed at her place. That’s why I didn’t call before I headed over.” Meg looked around for the obviously absent Julie.
“My date didn’t really happen. Long story.” Lexi rolled her eyes and shook Meg off with a pointed look that Meg understood to mean that Lexi would fill her in later. “Anyway, she’s on her way now. She’ll be here in a few minutes. But don’t change the subject. What’s up with you and Mia? What did you guys talk about?”
“Nothing really. We just…we basically just flirt. It’s actually kind of fun,” Meg answered honestly.
“So do you like her?”
“I don’t think so.” She was a little surprised by how quickly that answer came to her. “Not really. I mean, I don’t really know her, but she’s totally cocky. That’s not really my thing.”
Sam huffed and shook her head as she stood and grabbed her glove to head toward the rest of the team slowly gathering on the infield.
“What, Sam?” Meg’s tone didn’t hide her annoyance. In Meg’s opinion, Sam thought she knew the answer to pretty much everything. Usually she let it go, but today Meg wasn’t in the mood.
Eyebrows raised in judgment, Sam just stared at the ground and shook her head again. “Nothing.” It was so smug Meg couldn’t let it pass.
“Then why are you shaking your head?”
Sam hopped down to the ground and took a few steps toward the field. But then she stopped short and turned to face Meg and Lexi where they sat in the third row. “You know, you guys. You’re both so…uptight. Everything has to be fucking perfect. It’s all about The One.” Sam stopped talking to throw air quotes around the term. She must have seen the look of shock on their faces because she looked at the ground and pushed around a rock with her cleat before continuing in a much calmer voice. “I just think you both need to relax a little. They can’t all be the one, you know. That’s why we go out. To get some experience and have some fun. Before you say anything”—she held up her hand to stop Lexi, who was about to interject—“I’m not saying you should be like me, exactly. Believe me, I know I have my own issues,” she said as she covered the center of her chest with her palm. “I just mean…” She tugged the brim of her cap as she spoke. “I guess what I’m trying to say is how will you know the one unless you ever date the ones who aren’t the one? Meg, you’ve been hung up on your ex-girlfriend since you got here. Look around.” Sam gestured openly with both arms. “You live in a goddamn lesbian mecca. And now, here’s this hot girl who repeatedly flirts with you and you’re not interested because, what, she’s probably not the be all and end all. You just said yourself that talking to her was fun. Here’s a newsflash—it’s supposed to be.” She looked back and forth between Meg and Lexi. “You’re in your twenties, for Christ’s sake. Live a little.” With that, Sam turned on her heel and jogged off to the field, leaving them both gaping after her in stunned silence.
A few seconds passed before Meg broke the quiet. “Well, that was weird.”
“Kinda.”
“What’s weirder is that I maybe think Sam is a genius.”
“Well, she’s never been afraid to say exactly what she feels.” Lexi rolled her eyes in annoyance.
“Thing is, I get what she was saying about me, but why is she picking on you? I wasn’t gone for that long. What’d I miss?”
Lexi folded her arms and hunched forward, leaning on her knees. “It’s this whole Julie saga. Sam basically thinks I’m a terrible girlfriend. She thinks I’m not trying hard enough.”
“Why?”
“Well, there’s the thing with dinner last night. Julie wanted to do something special because we never really do anything alone. You know, there’s always the bunch of us hanging out together. So I guess she kicked her roommates out and cooked and everything.”
“Okay.”
“Yeah, well. I kind of missed dinner.”
“What?” Meg’s jaw dropped.
“Just listen before you say anything.” Lexi told Meg about the emergency case, and how she got stuck in the office, and how she couldn’t break to call or text.
“So Julie’s pissed, huh?”
“Yeah, she was pretty annoyed. But when I finally got to her place last night, I explained the situation. We fought about it a little, but ultimately she did understand where I was coming from, and that I had no control over it. She was mad, and hurt, I guess, but she forgave me. And I did end up staying there last night. Although not quite in the way she wanted, but still.” She looked down sheepishly, biting her full lower lip as she considered her words. “Honestly, Sam is the one giving me the hardest time about it. She basically told me that I should have gotten up and left my office. Like I’m supposed to turn to my boss in the middle of a work crisis and tell her that I have to go because my girlfriend of two months is making me a romantic dinner? Give me a break.” Lexi blew out a long breath and tucked her hair behind her ears. “Sam would never do that. This is all because it involves Jesse. She’s trying to make it out like I picked Jesse over Julie, and it wasn’t like that.”
“Okay.” Meg could hear the defensiveness in Lexi’s voice and wondered how much of it was justified.
“I know, I’m totally tense right now. Sorry for dumping all of this on you. I’m just, I’m just really glad you’re back.” She leaned in and nudged Meg’s shoulder with her own.
“Me too.” As she nudged Lexi back, Meg caught a glimpse of Julie navigating her way through the other spectators to where they were seated.
“Hey, Jules.” Meg hoped she wasn’t in the way as Julie reached them.
“Meg. Welcome back.” Julie patted Meg lightly on the shoulder and then used it as a support as she leaned in toward Lexi. “Morning, babe.” She kissed Lexi sweetly on the cheek and settled down in the row in front of them, scooching back between Lexi’s knees as she laced up her cleats. Lexi inched forward and put her arms around her girlfriend. Obviously whatever had gone down between them last night was history.
Meg averted her eyes, trying to give them a little privacy, and found herself scanning the field for a gangly blonde. She found her in left field, close enough that Mia’s piercing blue eyes were visible from the bleachers. Having been caught, Meg did an unusually uncharacteristic thing. She simply wiggled her fingers in a wave, smiled, and shrugged, and continued to stare. Mia mouthed I knew it and smiled into her glove.
When the game ended, Meg continued her run of courage, inspired solely by Sam’s soapbox speech. She walked right up to where Mia was packing up her equipment.
“Nice game.”
“Oh, you saw some of the game?” Mia said not wasting any opportunity to tease. “I thought you were just watching me.”
Meg rolled her eyes. “Anyway, my friends and I are going to The Kitchen tonight. I came over to see if you wanted to meet up.”
Mia scrunched up her nose and puckered her lips. “I have to work later. I’m on until midnight.” She paused for a second, then added with a hint of hope in her voice, “But I’ll come by after. Will you stick around?”
“If nothing better comes along,” Meg said jovially, seizing the opportunity to take the upper hand.
“As if.” Mia was all adorable arrogance.
*
The night started full of potential. Meg, Lexi, Sam, and Julie got an early ferry into the city and grabbed dinner at a cute little burger joint before making their way to The Kitchen. They were becoming a regular foursome. At The Kitchen, Meg was having a great time throwing back drinks with her friends while she eagerly awaited Mia’s arrival. She tried not to look at her watch every five minutes and did a halfway decent job until after midnight, when Sam caught her in the act.
“Seriously, you should at least attempt to look less desperate.” Sam’s voice was disproportionately loud in Meg’s ear.
It annoyed Meg that Sam thought she had the right to give her any unsolicited advice. At the same time though, she knew she should listen. Sam had natural talent when it came to girls. If she noticed Meg’s eagerness, then Mia would too, and Meg really wanted to come off calm and relaxed, neither of which were appropriate adjectives to describe her inner state. She nodded at the tip and noticed Sam wobble a little before leaning up against the wall to regain her balance.
“You okay?” Meg asked, genuinely concerned as she saw the glazed-over look in Sam’s eyes. When the other girl didn’t respond right away, Meg lightly punched her arm to snap her out of her stupor. Instead of coming back into the conversation, Sam’s eyes rolled back and she started to collapse before Meg caught her and shook her awake. They began to draw some attention and thankfully Lexi and Julie rushed over to see what was going on.
Between the three of them, they were able to guide Sam outside. The brisk night air roused her some, but only enough to keep her awake as she threw up on the curb.
“How much did you drink, Sam?” Lexi said as she helped her friend. Sam didn’t respond, so Lexi looked over to Meg as though she might have an explanation.
Meg shrugged back, before adding, “We’ve been going up to the bar together. She’s only had as many as I have, maybe three vodka-sodas.”
“Plus the two beers at dinner.”
“Still, she shouldn’t be like this, something’s wrong.” Meg looked at her watch. Twelve twenty. She shook her head. “You know, some weird girl was chatting her up pretty hard about a half hour ago. She was fine up to that point. You think the girl could’ve slipped her something?”
“I don’t know. But we’ve got to get her out of here.” Lexi directed Julie to get them a cab. “Meg, stay here and wait for Mia. She’ll probably be here any minute,” Lexi said with authority. “Julie and I will take care of her.”
Meg shook her leg nervously, considering the options. As much as she wanted to do exactly that, she knew she couldn’t. The right thing to do was to make sure Sam was okay. She shook Lexi off. “No way. I’m coming with you guys.”
As luck would have it, Meg caught sight of Mia sauntering down the street just as she was about to get into the cab. Mia saw her too and spread her arms out to her sides, palms up in playful disbelief.
“Ducking out on me already?” Mia asked good-naturedly as she approached.
Meg shook her head and hurriedly provided what she knew sounded like a lame excuse. “One of my friends is really sick. I’m sorry.” She wanted to say more, but glancing into the backseat of the cab, she regretted there wasn’t time. “Sorry, I gotta go,” she muttered as she slipped into the taxi and pulled the door closed behind her. Stealing a look through the rear windshield, she watched as Mia walked into The Kitchen without her.
They brought Sam back to Meg’s house and the three girls took care of her together through the night. By morning it was clear that Sam was out of the woods, and although they never determined for sure what had happened, they all agreed that the important thing was that she was okay. Meg was glad that Sam was fine, of course. But she couldn’t help feeling a little sorry for herself over her aborted rendezvous with Mia. Even Sam’s genuine apology for ruining her night didn’t perk her up. Meg simply couldn’t shake the feeling that she had missed her moment, that what had happened at The Kitchen was probably a sign that she and Mia were not meant to be. The problem was she already knew that. So repeating it to herself did nothing to comfort her. In her mind, the beauty of what could have been with Mia was that Meg wasn’t in love with her. She wasn’t the one. She was supposed to be a fling, a casual hookup. No deep feelings, no broken hearts.
But instead, Meg was alone as usual, flitting back and forth between work in London and work in New York with no romantic prospects on either continent. The winter holidays were approaching fast and Meg was in the exact same rut she had been in since her breakup with Becca. These days she thought of Becca often—remembering only the good stuff, quite a feat considering that Becca could hardly be described as a good girlfriend. She was selfish and demanding, but she could also be funny and charming, and that was the side of her that Meg focused on now as she gazed out the tiny oblong window as her plane got in line for takeoff heading back to New York, where no one in particular awaited her arrival.
Meg knew deep down that she didn’t actually miss the person Becca was or their ill-fated relationship. What she missed was the idea of Becca. This was a big part of the reason she was so bummed about not connecting with Mia. With the Christmas season would come family gatherings, and she’d prefer to be dating someone—or at least hooking up with someone—when she spent time with her family. Not so she could bring her to meet the family—she probably wouldn’t even mention her—but Meg felt better on the inside knowing there was someone out there who thought she was interesting enough to spend time with, be intimate with, even. It gave her the confidence she needed to get through her Aunt Ginny’s probing questions. Are you seeing anyone? she would ask, her voice and eyes full of doubtful hope. At least she would ask. The rest of her extended family struggled at general small talk. They clearly suspected she spent her nights in some back-alley bar donning the trademark purple handkerchief and exchanging code words with the other sexual deviants.
Her own generation of relatives was different. Her sister and brother-in-law were amazing on a daily basis. They never treated her like a mutant. And most of her cousins had issued their moral support over the years, but still she sensed their pity—not because she was gay, but because she was single and alone, reminders of the fact that she was universally undesirable.
There really was nothing quite like being by yourself at Christmastime in New York City to make you feel like a frigging loser.
Chapter Eleven
The days at Stanton Ducane passed entirely too quickly for Lexi’s liking. While she was still technically assigned to Allison, most of her time was spent on Lucy Weston’s case, which meant hours of direct contact with Jesse. She assisted Jesse during the witness interviews, each of whom had a department attorney present, and none of whom admitted to having witnessed anything. She had even accompanied Jesse to Lieutenant Danielle Calhoun’s home, where Jesse practically begged her through the closed front door to speak to them. Lexi thought for sure that Jesse would persuade her, but they’d left defeated.
Plus, she did tons of research, something she thrived on. She reveled in digging up obscure cases and dissecting policy. She had to admit that she was good at it too. She’d already found several similar cases from departments around the country, and she had pointed out a number of divergent directives within police department policies. Jesse agreed there was precedent for Lucy Weston to keep her job.
Unfortunately, Lucy was not convinced. She had been placed on restricted duty until the completion of the internal affairs investigation. This meant she was forced to turn in her firearm and was essentially chained to a desk, allowed only to perform administrative tasks. It was destroying Lucy, and Lexi could hear it chipping away at her spirit each time they spoke on the phone.
Jesse had set up a full schedule for them today. The first item on the agenda was a meeting at the police department. This was to be followed by another meeting on an entirely separate case—some kind of divorce mediation Jesse was handling. Jesse had said she thought it would be good for Lexi to come along, just for the experience of something different. The appointments were scheduled pretty much back to back. Rather than trek separately into the city, Jesse had suggested they drive in together so they could brainstorm in Jesse’s truck as they fought traffic.
Perfect, Lexi thought. It was a Friday and she had no classes. Plus the Bay West Christmas Extravaganza was tonight. Since she was just going in for a few meetings, she’d be home in plenty of time to go to the party with her friends as planned.
As had been the case in the past, the meeting with the police department legal department was a waste of time. Every time they met, there was a new lead attorney assigned, and the process started from square one. As they climbed back into Jesse’s Range Rover to head to their next appointment, Jesse said, “Something about this whole thing is just not sitting right with me.” Jesse turned the engine over. She drummed the steering wheel for a second. “All the research you did indicates that they can’t fire her. Not based on this one incident. Certainly not without a countersuit from Lucy based on gender discrimination or sexual harassment—all things that are way worse than the negligent discharge of a weapon. And aside from this, her service record is impeccable. What is their game, Lex?” She kept both hands on the wheel as she looked at Lexi.
Lexi just shook her head. “I don’t know,” she replied honestly.
Jesse snapped her fingers and reached for her phone. “I have an idea.” She tapped the screen a few times and held it to her ear. “Nick, it’s Jess. I need your help with something. It’s sort of unusual. Involves the police department actually. I’m on my way to my two o’clock now, but give me a call if you can meet up later.” She pressed the end button on her phone and placed it on the armrest between them.
“So, my friend Nick is a private investigator. I use his services a lot on”—she waved her hand in the air while she thought about the right description—“all sorts of cases, really. He’s a great guy, has tons of excellent contacts. He can get the score on anything. But”—she pointed an index finger for dramatic effect—“he was a sergeant in the NYPD before he left to start his own business.” She looked over at Lexi, the signature gleam back in her eyes. “I bet he still has some hooks in there and can get us the scoop on what’s really going on. I can’t believe I didn’t think of this until now.”
Lexi smiled, enjoying Jesse’s confidence in her new strategy as she shifted into drive and they headed uptown to their next meeting.
Lexi endured the divorce mediation, although she had a hard time concentrating on the content. It was all finger-pointing. She found it boring and sad, with no real resolution, just another meeting set up down the line. She entertained herself throughout by stealing glances at her boss, watching her lick her lips and ruffle her hair as she hammered out details.
