Totally Worth It, page 3
“No, it’s okay. Please, I wish I owned this house,” Lexi said wistfully. “No, I live here with my moms, my sister, and my two little brothers. But someday I hope to live here. I mean, not this house, my parents are never going to leave.” She chuckled. “I just hope that someday, I would love to have my own house here. Bay West is awesome. I doubt there’s anyplace like it in the world.”
Meg couldn’t hold it in. “Wait, I’m confused. I thought you had to be gay to live here. Is there some kind of grandfathering-in clause if you’re from a gay family or something?”
Lexi burst out laughing. “No, no. I don’t think so.” She collected herself but continued to grin. “I’m sorry, I should have been more clear. I am gay. My parents are also gay, but I’m gay too. Wow, that explains the look on your face. It’s priceless.”
Meg let out a deep breath. “I mean not that it matters or anything, but you were my only gay friend here, and then you weren’t gay. I’m just glad to have you back.” She revealed her true smile.
“You’re funny.”
“Hey, I never even offered you a beer. Want one?” Meg started toward the house.
“No, thanks. We’re actually going to my aunt’s house for my cousin’s birthday. They’re probably all waiting for me. Rain check, though?” Lexi backed away from the railing toward her house.
“Sure.”
As she was just about to pull the sliding glass door open, Lexi turned around. “Actually, my friend Sam and I are going to The Kitchen, Friday night. You should come.”
“I don’t want to crash your date or anything,” Meg said, hoping she hadn’t just killed her one social opportunity in recent months.
“Oh my God, not at all. Sam Miller is practically my sister. We’ve known each other since first grade. We’ve both got a crazy week coming up. I’m starting my new internship, she has some major project due at work. So we figure Friday, we’ll reward ourselves. You should totally come celebrate with us.”
“Okay, I’m definitely in then.”
“Great. Give me your number and I’ll put it in my phone right now. I’ll text you with the details during the week.”
“Great.” They exchanged numbers. “Have fun at your aunt’s.”
“Yep, see you later.”
“Later, Lexi.” Meg headed through the sliders to grab the burger she had promised herself. She treated herself to another beer. She could hardly stop smiling even as she cooked her dinner for one.
Chapter Four
Lexi sat at the conference table, thoroughly prepared for what the next forty-five minutes would entail. She lined up the legal pad in front of her and placed her reliable black rollerball pen on top, ready to take notes.
In a minute, Laney Stanton, the other half of Stanton Ducane, would enter the boardroom with Allison Smith, the only remaining junior partner who had yet to be assigned an intern. Placement meetings for the interns had started yesterday afternoon and were finishing up today, with Lexi rounding out the bunch. While it had kept her in anticipation, being last had its perks too. At least she knew the routine already from the other students. The meeting would be facilitated by Laney Stanton, who would go over some general guidelines of what was expected by the senior staff, and then turn it over to the junior partner, who would dole out his or her list of requirements. Based on what she had heard, the list varied drastically with each junior partner. But Allison Smith’s reputation preceded her. Word had trickled down from the first-year associates to the interns by the middle of the week—Allison Smith was notoriously brutal to work for.
Adding to this particular run of bad luck, Lexi was totally bummed that in this entire first week of her internship, she had yet to even clap eyes on Jesse Ducane. Rumor had it she was working on some major case out of town which had kept her away from the office.
At least she had tonight to look forward to. Lexi made a mental note to text Sam and Meg after her meeting to firm up what time they would leave for The Kitchen. She was just starting to think about what she was going to wear when she heard the hollow sound of the conference room’s glass door opening behind her.
Lexi straightened up and turned slightly in her chair, preparing to greet the two lawyers formally. Instead, she froze. Mouth agape, she watched Jesse Ducane enter the room alone, the door latching closed behind her as she cruised past Lexi and took the seat directly across from her.
Without a word, Jesse took off her dark gray suit jacket and hung it neatly over the chair. She placed a thin folder on the table and next to it the shiniest red apple Lexi had ever seen. Jesse opened the folder and silently perused the document in front of her.
Lexi looked at the clock on the wall and checked the door behind her again, wondering if somehow she was in the wrong place.
“Somewhere to be, Ms. Russo?” Jesse flashed a look from under her dark lashes, a wave of brown hair covering her raised eyebrows as she waited for an answer.
Lexi felt her mouth open, but nothing came out. She was paralyzed by Jesse’s stare, those fucking incredible eyes that had locked with hers less than a week ago on the street. “I…uh, no. No, I’m sorry. No.”
“Well, then. Let’s get started,” Jesse began. “As I’m sure you’ve figured out by now, you will be working with Allison Smith. Unfortunately, she couldn’t be here today, as she is covering a meeting for me.” Jesse spoke evenly, continuing to read the page in front of her. “This meeting is meant to be an introduction to the firm, to give you an idea of what will be expected of you, and of course to address any questions you might have at this point.” Here she paused, looked up at Lexi, and waited.
Lexi remained silent, not really sure what, if anything, she was supposed to say at this point.
Jesse obviously accepted this to mean she had no questions and began outlining the particulars of the internship and the background of the firm.
Lexi couldn’t help but be distracted by Jesse’s long elegant fingers as she touched the edges of the file and fingered the short stem of the apple next to it as she spoke. Lexi forced herself not to think about what those hands might feel like on her skin, instead focusing intently as Jesse gave a brief but personal synopsis of the entire staff, complete with mini-bios. She finished with an homage to Allison Smith that painted her as both a genius and a saint, directly contrasting with everything Lexi had heard about her.
Lexi was still using every ounce of composure to cover her shock at actually sitting across from Jesse. She had none left to mask her surprise at Jesse’s glowing endorsement of Allison Smith.
“Judging from the look on your face, you’ve heard otherwise.” Jesse cocked her head to one side and leaned back in her chair, clearly waiting for a response.
Lexi tried to answer. But she was having trouble finding the words. Any words. She could feel her hands starting to sweat as she fidgeted nervously with her pen. She knew she was taking too long. “No, of course not,” she spluttered out, realizing immediately that it was at once too little and too much.
Jesse pounced on her flimsy answer. “Well, Alexis, let that be your first lesson. Don’t believe everything you hear. Get the facts yourself. Make your own decisions.” There was something beyond condescending in her tone as she said it; it almost sounded like annoyance.
Lexi clenched her jaw as she felt the telltale tingle in her throat. A mix of anger and embarrassment. The twinge was always the first sign that she was about to lose it completely.
Perhaps Jesse noticed it too, because her demeanor softened. “Look, I know she has a reputation. And she is tough. But Allison is an excellent attorney. She’ll make you work hard, but you’ll be a better lawyer for it. Just don’t take for granted the opportunity to learn from her.”
There was silence as Lexi acknowledged Jesse’s advice with a simple nod. It was the only thing she had done right so far.
“All right then, moving on. I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors that Stanton Ducane will be putting on two first-year associates next year. Those hires will likely come from this pool of interns. So you know what that means.”
Everyone knew what it meant. It meant the entire internship was a competition for the two slots. With eight interns and two positions, there really wasn’t room for error. And Lexi had just blown a meeting with the senior partner.
“Do you have any questions, Alexis?” Jesse picked up the apple and inspected it, the act indicating that the meeting was over.
“No.” Lexi cut directly to the point so she didn’t make another unnecessary flub.
“Okay, then. You are free to go.”
Lexi stood up quickly and smoothed the wrinkles from her skirt. She collected her pen and pad and pushed the boardroom chair to the table before she took the few steps to the door. She was seconds from safety, her hand on the handle.
“One more thing, Alexis.”
Lexi felt her stomach tighten at the sound of her full name, again, as she turned around.
Jesse was eyeing the apple, as if about to take a bite, but shifted her gaze to Lexi. “Why did you apply to work here?”
Lexi was startled by the starkness of the question. This was ground covered in the initial interview, which she had done with Laney Stanton, months ago. Lexi looked at Jesse blankly, not really sure how to proceed.
Jesse swayed a little in the large chair. “There are hundreds of law firms in the city. Bigger, more prestigious firms. You’re at the top of your class. Why Stanton Ducane?”
Lexi wanted to say a lot of things. She wished she had the nerve. She would start by shoving Jesse’s lecture right back in her face, telling her she chose Stanton Ducane because she was the type of person who made her own decisions and got her own facts. That instead of simply listening to her parents’—and other Bay West residents’, by the way—insistence that Jesse Ducane was a typical arrogant lawyer, an opportunist, and a swindler, she had decided to find out for herself. She’d ignored the local rumors and hearsay, choosing instead to research the company and their cases, and had come to her own conclusions. In the end, she was so impressed and intrigued by what she had discovered, that she needed to be a part of it firsthand. That’s what she might have said, if she had any balls.
But she had already choked so badly that she felt she had no choice but to take the safest route possible, giving the cookie-cutter answer that she had prepared for every interview since college. “Stanton Ducane is an excellent firm. You do solid, gratifying work. It’s an honor to be a part of it at any level.”
“Okay.” Jesse crunched into the apple dismissively, clearly unimpressed by the response.
Lexi didn’t exhale until she was halfway down the corridor. Drinks tonight couldn’t come soon enough.
*
The Kitchen was practically an institution in New York City. It was an enormous bar, packed no matter the day or hour. It catered to all ages, types, and styles of lesbians—girly-girls, tomboys, young, old, butch, femme, middle-of-the-roaders, and the vast majority that didn’t fit a particular category at all. Meg always found that to be part of its charm, that there seemed to be room for everyone. She had only been there once since she and Becca broke up. For about ten minutes. It was during that experience that she learned being single was not like it is in the movies, when you walk into the bar by yourself and immediately make eye contact with some hot girl standing in the corner, who’s sipping a cocktail like she’s been waiting for you to get there. Not so. Pretty much if you came in by yourself, everybody figured that nobody else wanted to be with you. It didn’t make you a hot commodity; it made you the plague.
Which is why tonight was so important to Meg.
She had spent forever trying to get her hair to look normal. Not that it looked abnormal, just that Meg always felt it didn’t really suit her. It was a color that Meg’s grandmother called true brown, which she wore in a chin-length sweep, framing her face. The old woman used to say it perfectly matched her true-brown eyes. Meg was never comforted by her grandmother’s completely transparent way of trying to make her feel better about her boring looks. Her sister was real black Irish—dark brown hair, light blue eyes. Meg was insanely jealous.
After being ready for over an hour, Meg walked out of her house promptly at eight to meet the girls. She hated being late for anything. Of course she knew her eagerness worked against her in most social situations, but she couldn’t help it. She often reminded herself there were many people in the world who considered punctuality a good quality, but it always made her feel like a gigantic nerd. The fact that lateness was cool was a universal concept, yet she couldn’t get herself to go there. So she pretty much always arrived exactly on time; it was her own little compromise with the world. Thankfully, she found Lexi and her friend already waiting, resting against the Jeep in Lexi’s driveway.
“Sorry, am I late?” Meg asked, one hundred percent sure she was not.
“Not at all,” Lexi answered. “Meg, Sam. Sam, Meg.”
Sam went for a cool nod, but it was too late, Meg had already extended her hand. She cringed a little on the inside for having done it, but Sam shook her hand nicely and gave a little smile too, restoring Meg’s confidence.
“My sister is going to drive us to the ferry. Save us some time,” Lexi stated matter-of-factly.
With the ride to the Staten Island Ferry, the girls made it into the city earlier than expected. They took their time getting the subway up to Greenwich Village, giving Sam an opportunity to tell them about the group of girls she had met at The Kitchen last week, whom they were slated to meet up with tonight.
“So it was like the end of the night, last Saturday. And I was getting ready to leave, when I notice these girls standing by the bar and I could swear they were talking about me. So I go over in their direction, pretending that I’m looking for my phone or my keys or something. And it worked because right away one of them says, Hey, you look familiar, do you live at Bay West? I say no, but my best friend does and I’m there all the time. And the one who started the conversation, who’s totally hot by the way, says, I know, I’ve seen you there. I’m like, of course you have, I practically live there. And then I mention you, Lex, and how you grew up there, and that your moms are like these lesbian pioneers with this huge family—that I’m practically part of—and on and on.”
Sam leaned off the curb at the corner of Fourteenth Street looking back at the other two as she waited for the light to change. She bounced off the sidewalk as soon as the walk signal flashed, pushing her honey-brown hair off her face as she crossed the street. Her long, slender fingers matched the rest of her physique. She was a few inches taller than Meg, and her jeans and loosely fitted graphic tee accentuated her wiriness. She was so animated in her storytelling that her hazel eyes twinkled as she talked. “And this other girl, not the blonde who had started the conversation, but one of her friends, who seemed kind of quiet, pipes up and says with, like, absolute awe in her voice, Wait I know you. Your friend is the girl who’s always running. And I say yes, because the truth is you do run a lot.” She tilted her head and looked at Lexi. “It’s so cute, she totally has a crush on you.”
“Did you ever think she might not be talking about me?” Lexi said, the lilt in her voice revealing she was genuinely flattered.
“No.”
“You know I’m not the only person in the neighborhood who goes running. What if she expects someone else?”
“C’mon, Lex. She knew exactly who I was talking about. I described you. And let’s face it, you are the only twenty-four-year-old obsessive runner with long dark curly hair, two moms, and huge boobs who lives in Bay West. Believe me, she’s talking about you.”
“So wait, I’m confused,” Meg interjected. “How do these girls know who you are?”
“That’s the beauty of it,” Sam answered. “They live in the development. They live at Bay West. They’re renters.”
“Do you know about the renters?” Lexi turned to Meg.
“I know that the units at the edge of the development behind the service road are all rentals, if that’s what you mean. Is there more to know?”
“No, I guess that’s it,” Lexi said.
“Except that since we were teenagers, Lexi and I have been trying to get in with the renters, get invited to their parties and stuff, and now it has actually happened,” Sam said with excitement.
“The thing is,” Lexi tried to explain, “growing up in the development, it was awesome, don’t get me wrong.” She shook her head adamantly. “Being gay and living with two moms in this unbelievable lesbian community, it’s amazing, I know. And I am grateful for it, I really am, but in a way I’m not really part of it, because I grew up there.” She shrugged, her voice maintaining its desperate sincerity. “I’m always Marnie and Chris’s daughter, you know? It’s like I’m not taken seriously or I can’t grow up or something. It’s weird.” Her shoulders dropped. “It’s like I’m still trying to fit in. Sam and I always figured the renters would be the ticket.”
“But you don’t live at Bay West, do you, Sam?” Meg asked.
“No, but Lexi and I were in first grade together. I went over to her house once and basically never left. Seriously though,” Sam said with a laugh, “Chris and Marnie are like my second and third moms.”
Lexi continued her explanation. “The great thing about the renters is they’re usually younger and sort of transient. So they’re not really part of the larger Bay West picture.”
“Meaning, Lexi can just be Lexi. And I can be her available, charming friend,” Sam finished.
“And these two are going to be there tonight?” Meg tried to sound casual.
“Yeah, I’ve been texting one of them all week. They’re coming with a bunch of their friends.” Sam said it just as they hit the bar, providing a natural end to their conversation as they showed their IDs to the bouncer.
