Totally Worth It, page 24
“Are you guys still…you know…do you still see each other?” Lexi was terrified to ask the question but she had to know the answer.
Jesse squinted at her, making sure she understood the question. “Not like that, no. I still see her around, obviously. But nothing like that. Not in years.”
“But Meg told me you were seeing someone from your past and you wouldn’t tell her who it was—”
“Lauren. My ex, from when I was in law school. I told you about her actually. The night you came to my house.” Jesse revealed a slight smile at the mix-up. “We got back together a few months ago. Briefly. Wait, you thought—”
“Well, not until this morning, but yeah, kind of.” Lexi pouted a little, scared of what she was about to ask next. “Do you still love her?” Lexi turned so she could see Jesse’s immediate reaction. “Mary,” she added at the last minute, so there was no confusion.
“No.” Jesse pushed back off the post and took a half step so she was more or less in front of Lexi. She reached under Lexi’s chin and met her eyes. “I don’t love her. You know that.”
“I don’t—”
Jesse put her finger on Lexi’s mouth, silencing her. “You do. You know it.” She smiled at the ground abashedly. “I didn’t want to say it. It’s so soon.” She laughed at herself. “We haven’t even gone on a real date yet.” She laughed again, looking deep into Lexi’s eyes. “I love you. And you know it. I have since the beginning, since the second you came to work for me, maybe even before that. Quite possibly since the day I saw you walking your dog down the street right before you started at Stanton.”
Lexi’s eyes widened in shock that Jesse remembered their brief exchange so many months ago.
“I thought maybe you were interested in me too, at first. I couldn’t figure out why else you would want to work at my firm. And then, God, I tried to get you to give me something, anything, during our first meeting. But”—she frowned playfully—“nothing.”
Lexi grinned. “I was a mess during that meeting.”
“You were cute.”
“I was dying.”
Jesse folded her hands over the railing. “And then Lucy Weston came along, thank God. That was my chance and I jumped all over it.” She brushed against Lexi with her biceps. “I should have given that case to Allison or even let Paul finish it. But I wanted it so badly. Just so I could be near you.”
Lexi was smiling ear to ear. Jesse was completely forgiven, but Lexi let her go on anyway.
“I was so afraid they could all see right through me. Laney, Allison, even Lucy.”
“Oh, Lucy knew.”
“What?”
“She called me on it.”
Jesse’s eyes narrowed waiting for the lowdown.
“One day in your office, she asked me how long we had been together. I denied it. Told her she was way off. But she knew, she saw through both of us.” Jesse threw her head down and laughed. Lexi loved the way Jesse looked right now—sexy, strong, and a bit shy—and she almost couldn’t believe it was all real. “Do you think everyone else knows?”
Jesse raised her eyebrows at Lexi. “If they don’t, they will soon. You okay with that?”
“More than okay.” Lexi slipped between Jesse and the railing.
“So we’re good?”
She knew there was more to discuss about the past, about Jesse’s relationship with Mary. Questions she wanted answers to, timelines and details about how it had started, when it had ended—all of it, really. But now wasn’t the time. Right now was their time, their beginning, and Lexi wanted to enjoy it.
“We’re good.” Lexi answered with a smile as she toyed with the hemline of Jesse’s shirt, brushing the skin underneath with the tip of each index finger.
Jesse leaned down and pressed their lips together, then pulled back. “Let’s go out tonight, just me and you.”
“On a date, you mean?”
“Something like that.” Jesse leaned in again, but stopped just shy of making contact. “Just one thing, Lex.” She grinned. “Will you please tell your parents before you leave that you won’t be coming home tonight.”
Lexi met her smile and pulled her into a long, slow kiss.
Chapter Twenty-four
Lexi let the screen door fall shut behind her and immediately the smile spread across her face. Even though things were far from okay with her parents, she couldn’t help being thrilled.
Earlier, after Jesse’d left, she’d explained to her parents in very limited detail that, for now, they were simply going to have to accept that she and Jesse were together. When Marnie refused to understand, Lexi told her calmly that was fine, but she was off to take a shower and then she would be going to Jesse’s. Matter-of-factly she’d added that she wouldn’t be home that night. She registered the look of fury in Marnie’s expression, both that this was happening and that she was powerless to forbid it. Chris had placed a hand on her wife’s shoulder and told Lexi with her eyes that it would be okay.
How could it not be? Her parents loved her and she loved Jesse.
Glancing down the street before she crossed, Lexi spotted Sam sauntering over from the rental section. They met in the middle of the street.
“Just coming to see you. On your way out?”
Lexi noticed that Sam was dressed in sweats and an old T-shirt that she recognized as Julie’s. Lexi knew she still crashed there a lot, so it wasn’t that odd, but still.
“Yeah, I am.” Lexi felt herself blush as she inadvertently looked past Sam at Jesse’s house.
Sam tweaked her head following Lexi’s gaze and put her hands in the pockets of the worn-out sweats. “So. You and Jesse, huh?” She phrased it as a question, but it was clear she knew the answer.
Lexi immediately felt guilty. “Sam, I wanted to tell you,” she started. “It’s just, well honestly, there wasn’t really a whole lot to say until now.”
Sam shook her off with a smirk. “Dude, it’s okay. You don’t owe me an explanation.” She playfully nudged Lexi’s flip-flop with her own. “I kind of figured it out anyway. I have known you forever, I can read you like a book.”
“Are you mad?”
“No way.” Sam winced a bit, as if disappointed Lexi would doubt her support. “I’m happy for you. It’s what you always wanted.”
“It is.”
Sam shuffled nervously as they stood there. “Actually there’s something I wanted to tell you too.” She shifted awkwardly. “I’m moving into Julie’s place.”
“Oh.” Lexi’s face dropped. “Oh, are you guys like—”
Sam cut her off right away. “No. No. It’s nothing like that. We’re just friends,” she insisted, but Sam’s face had turned pink and she deflected her eyes as she continued to explain. “One of the girls is moving out, so there’s a spot open.” She made eye contact again. “Things at my house suck. My parents are constantly up my ass. And hello—Bay West—how can I pass that up?” She looked at Lexi as if to gauge her reaction. “I know it might be a little weird for you, with Julie and everything.”
Lexi knew that Sam wanted her approval and she gave it right away. “It’ll be fine.” She took a second to assess her friend before she teased, “Look at you—a renter.”
“Me? What about you?” Sam played back. “Totally in love with the infamous Jesse Ducane.”
“I guess we both got what we wanted.” Lexi reached over for a hug, feeling guilty for how neglected their friendship had gone over the last few months.
Sam hugged her back. “Looks like.” She looked down at Lexi. “You know I was coming by to see if you were interested in The Kitchen tonight.” She jerked her head toward Jesse’s unit. “Any chance I could persuade you and your girlfriend there? It’s supposed to be fun. Holiday special, all drinks half off…”
Lexi crinkled her nose. “Not tonight.”
“All right.” Sam gave her a break, not even trying to convince her. “I’m going to see if Meg’s in, then.” She backed away, calling out to Lexi as she was almost at Meg’s front door. “Hey, Lex. I love you.” She grinned, completing the corny phrase with two finger guns.
Lexi turned and smiled. “Me too.”
*
Meg squeezed through the crowd, juggling a round of drinks for herself, Julie, and Sam. It was crazy that the bar was this packed on the Sunday night of a holiday weekend when the city was usually deserted, but Meg guessed that word of the drink special had really gotten out.
As she cleared the archway into The Kitchen’s back room where she had left her buddies, she was genuinely caught off guard when she was confronted with the same sexy green eyes that she’d seen less than twenty-four hours earlier.
“Need some help there?” Becca crooned as she rested against the inside wall without actually reaching out to assist.
Sam came to her aid, so Meg shook her head and passed two drinks over to Sam, who disappeared back into the farthest corner of the room. Meg stayed in front of Becca, taking a sip of her crisp Ketel One and club soda.
“Twice in two days. What are the odds?” Meg asked, not really expecting an answer.
Becca’s offended look surprised her though, so Meg continued. “Come on, Becca. I don’t see you—I mean, at all—for almost a year. Now it seems I can’t get away from you.”
“Is that what you want, Meg, to get away from me?”
Meg picked up on the signs immediately. Becca had never been subtle about what she wanted. “Don’t play games with me,” Meg responded. But Meg heard a slight invitation in her own voice.
“Who’s playing games?” Becca teased, fingering the edge of her glass as she used her tongue to draw in the thin red straw. She leered at Meg over the top of her glass as she sipped her drink.
“You are.”
“Am not,” Becca said, flicking her hair over her shoulder.
It was totally predictable, classic Becca. She had employed the same tactic of preying on Meg’s vulnerability just last night. But somehow Meg had been impervious to it then. Perhaps it was because there had been so much else going on. With Lexi and Jesse gone most of the night, Meg took it upon herself to spend time with Betsy and Allison, who’d both decided on coming last minute, thoroughly expecting Jesse to be there. Meg entertained them willingly—she liked them both, so it was easy to hang with them. She’d also spent a serious chunk of the night breaking Teddy’s chops that her mysterious cousin who was allegedly all that missed every major Bay West social. Teddy gave it right back to her, commenting that Reina was in high demand, and since when did Meg care so much. Meg had even found time to chat up the new renters whom she’d learned were a trio of nursing students at the local college.
Meg had felt so at home and so on her game, that even when she talked to Becca, which she had done intermittently throughout the night, she hadn’t fallen victim to her overt advances.
But tonight, she’d come out with just Sam and Julie. And as much as the two of them went out together under the guise of looking for girls, they usually spent the majority of the night contentedly talking only to each other. Meg felt like a third wheel. Bumping into Becca was almost a welcome distraction, and if she was being honest, she was kind of enjoying Becca’s attention.
Meg smirked and raised her eyebrows mischievously. “Anyway, since we’re talking, I have some questions for you.”
Becca licked her lips. “Like?”
“Like where have you been?” Meg challenged. “I mean, we broke up eleven months ago.” She looked at Becca critically, her tone getting more serious than she wanted it to. “I never heard from you. Not once. Never ran into you anywhere. And then you just show up out of the blue at Bay West.” It sounded like a question even though it wasn’t.
“I still can’t believe you live there.”
Meg blew past the comment, pretty sure it was the sole reason for Becca’s renewed interest. “So what’s the story?”
“There’s no story.”
Meg leaned in and breathed in Becca’s ear. “Don’t bullshit me, Bec.” Meg was certain she knew the reason behind Becca’s absence but she needed to hear it.
Becca puckered her thin lips, a sexy smile threatening to emerge. “I was with someone.”
Meg sipped her drink and scoped out the bar as she waited for Becca to elaborate.
“Chloe.”
Meg nodded knowingly. “From your office.” She had met the girl several times when she and Becca were together. Becca had denied any attraction between them. Hearing her admit it now stung a little bit, but not as much as she would have thought. “I guess I’m not surprised. I figured something was up to not even bump into you here. So what happened?”
Becca rolled her eyes. “Straight girls. They’re all the same. They’re into it until they’re over it.”
Meg laughed in agreement. She scanned the room again and caught sight of Mia working hard to charm a cute brunette at the end of the bar. They made brief eye contact and each offered a small, easy nod of acknowledgment.
“…it’s fine anyway.” Becca was still talking into her drink. “Wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be in the end. Not like me and you.”
That got Meg’s attention. She couldn’t keep the surprise out of her voice. “What?”
Becca laid it on thick, batting her eyelashes as she fished the cherry from her glass. “Oh, please, Meg, you can’t deny there has always been something between us.”
Meg was filled with both disbelief and disgust, but when she met Becca’s sleepy emerald eyes, what she reluctantly felt was desire.
Becca was all over it. “Meg, I know we didn’t communicate the way we should have.” She reached over and tugged at the bottom of Meg’s shirt. “But honestly, what I learned from being with Chloe is that there are some things you either have or you don’t. You and me”—she wet her lips—“we have chemistry. You can’t make that up. It’s either there or it’s not.” Meg felt Becca’s cold fingers touch her stomach underneath the fabric of her shirt. “Me and you, we always connected like that.”
She wasn’t wrong, not about that. Their physical relationship had never been the problem. What Becca had failed to realize was outside the bedroom, when she routinely blew Meg off, constantly looking over her shoulder to see if something better was waiting there, when she repeatedly neglected to introduce her as her girlfriend claiming she wasn’t into labels, when she held her at bay for two years—all of that had destroyed her. The day-to-day things that Becca did to belittle their bond far diminished any sparks that existed between them in the dark after a few drinks.
She could have said all of this to Becca, cut her down right then and there, but what would be the point? She put aside that jumble of thoughts and remembered she’d gotten through it on her own, emerging stronger and more independent. She was a different person now. She didn’t need to make Becca pay for the damage she’d done or, worse, give her the opportunity to take some kind of credit for her transformation.
Instead she took hold of Becca’s hand at the wrist and removed it from under her clothes.
“No.” She said it evenly, trying very hard to conceal her emotion. She took one last look at Becca’s beautiful eyes, swirled the remainder of her drink, and swallowed it in one gulp. “I gotta go.” Meg took the few steps to the bar and placed the empty glass there before slinking through the crowd and slipping out the back door.
She was slightly drunk and super horny. She didn’t want to give herself any chance to change her mind, so she flagged down the first cab she saw. Sitting in the backseat, she shot off a quick text to Julie and Sam, saying she was tired and on her way home. She knew they wouldn’t be mad—heck, they were probably psyched she was gone so they could ogle each other openly. Meg giggled at the thought as she opened a series of picture messages from Lexi. There was a beach scene at sunset and then a selfie of Lexi and Jesse in front of it. There was no description. It wasn’t necessary, anyone could see how in love they were. Meg was happy for them. Leaning into the cracked leather seat she laughed to herself.
She never thought she could be this happy to go home alone.
Chapter Twenty-five
Meg was on all fours in the corner of her tiny front lawn, so she had to crane her neck at the signature squeak of Lexi’s front door. She leaned back and wiped sweat from her forehead, never letting go of her gardening spade. “How’s things in the war zone?”
“Same.” Lexi looked back at her house before sitting down squarely in the middle of Meg’s lawn. “You’re really turning into Martha Stewart these days,” she commented, avoiding the touchy subject and focusing instead on Meg’s incessant home repairs.
It was true that in the past few weeks Meg had been nesting like crazy. She had completely finished the interior makeover, including the floors, painting, even putting up new moldings throughout her house. Today she was tackling the front yard. Already this morning she had installed a window box just below her big kitchen window. Currently she was gloved-up, weeding and trimming the lawn edges to increase her curb appeal.
“You guys are still going out tonight, right?” Meg asked, pulling a thick root by the base. There was a new microbrewery opening up in Brooklyn, in Meg’s old neighborhood, right around the corner from the one-bedroom high-rise apartment she’d briefly considered purchasing a year ago. It was widely known in the community that the two female co-owners were gay. While the place hadn’t been designed exclusively as a girl bar, it was certainly a friendly, welcoming environment.
She knew Lexi and Jesse were coming—she was really just making small talk. She and Lexi had been talking about it all week. It was going to be Lexi and Jesse’s first night out as a couple, and Meg thought this new place would be the perfect venue. All the regulars would be there. The place had been hyping its opening for months and it seemed a new place had the air of a fresh start, so Meg thought it appropriate for her friends. Selfishly, of course, Meg was just excited to hang out with them.
