Totally Worth It, page 2
Looking out her window today, she saw Jesse’s feet hanging out of the rear driver’s side door of her black SUV, her lean body stretched along the backseat. Meg wished she had the confidence to march across the street and strike up a conversation with Jesse, offer her help with her project, return the favor for helping her move, and foster the friendship she’d felt budding beneath the surface. The more she watched, the clearer it was that Jesse was struggling with whatever it was she was doing. Jesse had just plucked the owner’s manual out of the glove box, giving it a quick scan before retreating to her house and returning with a screwdriver and wrench. Meg thought those tools seemed an odd choice for auto repair, but since she didn’t know anything about cars herself, she certainly couldn’t go over and critique her new neighbor—that would be just plain rude. Meg sighed, wishing she knew something, anything really about cars at all, something to give her a natural segue.
But she didn’t.
Turning back to her boxes, she whispered under her breath, “Come on, Megan McTiernan, back to work.”
*
Lexi Russo was sitting at her dining room table, surveying the scene playing out beyond her window.
She glanced away from her laptop and over her shoulder for what was probably the hundredth time. For the last half hour she’d been watching the woman across the street struggle to completely collapse the backseat of her luxury Range Rover Sport. For the life of her, she could not figure out how in the name of God her neighbor was having so much trouble.
Her neighbor. In a few days, her boss. Her nerves rattled as she thought about it. Her mothers’ former friend. Jesse Ducane was many things. Apparently handy was not one of them.
Lexi turned back to the computer and tried futilely to focus. Mere seconds passed before she peered out the window again. “Really, a screwdriver?” she muttered, forgetting she wasn’t alone.
“What’s that, honey?” her mom said from the kitchen across the open-plan space.
“Nothing, Mom.”
“Are you nervous, honey?” The sound of a knife against a cutting board punctuated the question. “For your internship and everything?”
“Huh?” Lexi was only half listening, still utterly involved in the show outside. “Um, I don’t know. I guess a little,” she lied. She was terrified about starting her new internship, working for smart, sexy Jesse Ducane, whom she had idolized since she was a teenager.
“You know it’s not too late to back out.”
Both of Lexi’s mothers had been dead set against her applying for an internship at Stanton Ducane, the law firm run by their neighbor, but Marnie had been relentless in her efforts to dissuade Lexi. The internship started next week and she was still lobbying hard.
“It kind of is.” Lexi raised an eyebrow, challenging her mother. “Anyway, I don’t want to,” she added, sounding more defiant than she wanted. “I still don’t understand what you guys have against her.” She shook her head dismissively. “If nobody bothers to explain it to me…” She left the remark open-ended in hopes that it would elicit an explanation as to why both her mothers objected so staunchly to Lexi’s good fortune, scoring an internship at the reputable up-and-coming law firm.
Instead, her mother remained silent, shuffling dinner ingredients around the countertop, deliberately avoiding eye contact. Lexi pushed the envelope. “Seriously, Mom, what is the big deal? You used to be friends, you know.” Lexi’d meant to simply point out the fact, but it came out as a kind of taunt.
Marnie’s head snapped up. “That’s exactly why I wish you would listen to me.” Her voice was clipped but controlled. “I know her, Lexi. She’s not a good person.” Looking back down, she reached for an onion, just barely maintaining her composure. “I know you think she’s the cat’s meow because she has a successful business, but that’s not everything.”
Lexi exhaled audibly, unable to cloak her chagrin. “I don’t think she’s the cat’s meow, Mom,” she said, rolling her eyes at the archaic expression. “I think, actually I know,” she corrected, “that she’s an outstanding lawyer. I don’t know why you wouldn’t want me to work for her.”
“Because she’s a sleaze.” Lexi was taken aback by Marnie’s contemptuous response. “She has no integrity, no sense of what’s right. Which is probably why she’s successful at what she does.” Marnie placed the knife down on the chopping block and walked over to the dining room table. She leaned her arms against the chair across from where Lexi sat, bent her head, and met Lexi’s eyes.
“I know you won’t be that kind of lawyer, that’s not who you are.” Her voice was softer now. “You are sweet and compassionate and kind.” Her mother gave her a reassuring smile as she said it, but Lexi saw her purse her lips again as she turned away. “So I’m sorry, honey, but I just can’t fathom what you could possibly learn from that kind of person.”
Her mother had it all wrong there. Jesse’s law firm did amazing things for all sorts of people. Lexi had done her research—more than half of Stanton Ducane’s cases focused on civil rights issues. She had explained this fact to her parents when they initially protested her decision to apply for the position, and several times since then. She didn’t have the energy for it today. With a long sigh, she checked out the window again as she closed the laptop and stood up.
“I’m going to take Butter out for a walk,” Lexi said halfheartedly. Really she just wanted out of the conversation. Plus, she was still dying to get outside and get a closer look at Jesse.
As she put the leash on the old golden retriever, Lexi’s mind wandered to a scenario where this impromptu walk resulted in an opportunity to assist Jesse. She could do it for sure. Since she was a kid, she had watched as her other mother Chris, an automotive engineer, fixed every car in the development. This informal education meant Lexi was naturally adept at auto repair. Whether the problem was with the engine or the electrical system, she could fix it. Jesse’s current problem would be a ground ball for Lexi. She’d already assessed the high-end vehicle from a distance, factored for the make and model, and roughly estimated the year, and she was fairly certain the seat adjustment involved releasing a tether before pressing the button located underneath the base of the backseat.
In her fantasy, Lexi helped Jesse out and they shared a laugh, breaking the ice before next week’s internship started. As she walked down the street, though, she knew she would never be able to pull off something so bold as approaching Jesse out of the blue. After all, she had lived across the street from the woman practically her whole life, and she barely had the nerve to smile or nod when they crossed paths.
In the warm autumn air, Lexi pondered her imminent future. She was nervous about her internship, sure. But she would be nervous no matter where she was working or whom for. That’s just who she was. There was an added level of anxiety, too, that involved needing to prove herself to Jesse Ducane. She knew part of the reason was tied to the bad blood between her parents and Jesse. But it wasn’t like Marnie thought. She wasn’t acting out, staging some kind of rebellion. Jesse Ducane’s law firm was one of the premier boutique firms in the city, and she just wanted to make a good impression.
While this was true, Lexi knew her motives weren’t purely academic. Jesse Ducane intrigued her. When she was honest with herself, she acknowledged this small truth. Jesse was gorgeous and successful and completely out of her league. And even though there weren’t that many years between them—twelve, max, if Lexi’s calculations were right—that was enough. Enough that Lexi’s fantasies would never amount to anything more, and enough, she feared, that Jesse would still see her as a kid instead of a twenty-four-year-old law student.
As she walked along, she convinced herself this was exactly why she had to approach Jesse today. She needed to show her she wasn’t uptight like Marnie or even totally laid back like Chris. She was her own person. She would just walk over to her car and offer to help. It was simple. Jesse was having trouble and Lexi could fix it. They would be working together in a week. This was a nice friendly gesture, and one that would signal that Lexi was neutral in the cold war between her parents and her boss.
From halfway down the block, Lexi plotted her strategy. She could see the seats were still in place in their upright position, and Jesse wasn’t even trying to budge them. Now she was standing with her hands on the closed hood, her shoulders hunched up, her clenched jaw and steely gaze revealing her frustration as she fixated on the hood of the car, obviously having thrown in the towel. Perfect. Lexi quickened her pace. She was less than twenty feet away, and her pulse was racing as she struggled to select the right opener from the ones playing out in her head.
Then it happened. Jesse looked up at Lexi and made definite eye contact. Bravely, Lexi curled her mouth up in a smile and raised her arm in a small wave. She watched Jesse’s shoulders drop and her face relax as the corners of her eyes crinkled a little, a curious expression overtaking her demeanor. Jesse licked her lips and opened her mouth and Lexi could swear she was about to say something, but at that precise moment, a white Lexus turned the corner and pulled into the parking space right in front of Jesse’s house, stealing her attention. A tall blonde got out of the driver’s seat and called out to Jesse as she bounded up the driveway.
“Miss me?”
Lexi couldn’t hear the answer, but she saw Jesse’s face light up as she spoke and watched as the blonde cracked up with laughter in response.
With her plan sabotaged, Lexi crossed back to her side of the street and hurried to get in her front door. In her peripheral vision though, she could see the two women were hugging. She dared one last look and caught her breath at what she saw. Jesse’s arms were wrapped around the blonde, and her chin rested on the woman’s shoulder, but Jesse’s clear green eyes were looking right at her.
Chapter Three
Meg threw open the screen door and hustled out onto the deck. She was determined to use the barbecue at least once before summer was officially over. She just barely made it over to her sister’s hand-me-down table and chairs without dropping all her utensils and her beer.
“Okay, grill, let’s see what you’ve got.” Hopefully some gas, she realized as kind of an afterthought.
Meg had been so busy with her new job in the last few weeks that everything else had pretty much taken a backseat. Unfortunately, that included setting up her new place and exploring the development and its residents too. One of these days she would make some new friends, she promised herself, trying not to get down about it.
At least the grill fired up without a problem. She opened her beer and sat down in the late afternoon sun, waiting for the grill to heat up. This really wasn’t so bad, she thought, taking a swig of the cold beer. It was true she hadn’t made any inroads into actually being part of the Bay West community, but at least she was still physically here. Nobody had come to take her keys back and give her spot to a better lesbian, one with an active social life or even a real live girlfriend.
“Hey, neighbor.”
The voice startled her even though she recognized it right away. It was the girl from the first day. She’d been so busy feeling sorry for herself, she hadn’t realized she had company in the adjacent backyard.
“Hey.” Meg took her legs off the chair and turned toward the voice. “What’s up?” She swallowed hard, immediately annoyed at herself for her lame, clichéd response.
“I’m Lexi, in case you forgot. I helped you with your key a while back…?”
“No, no, I remember. You just surprised me. I didn’t realize you were out here.”
“I would have said hi sooner but I was on the phone.” She waved the cell phone as she walked across her own deck and leaned on the wooden railing that separated their yards. “Sometimes I come out here for privacy.” She rolled her eyes and nodded toward her house. “So, how do you like it?” Lexi said with a huge smile on her face.
Meg froze for a second, embarrassed that she hadn’t really experienced anything to like or dislike since their initial meeting a few weeks ago. She tried to play it cool. “It’s good. I’m still trying to unpack half my stuff and get everything organized, but it’s good.”
“But how do you like Bay West?” Lexi asked the question with a knowing smirk, as if they were both in on a secret, because they kind of were.
“Um, it’s good.” Meg nodded her head to make up for the hesitation in her voice. She had never been a good liar. She shrugged. “Honestly, I haven’t actually been around that much. I just started this new job. Well, not new, but sort of new. It’s a long story.” She shook her head at her habit of rambling. “Anyway, I haven’t met anybody here or anything. I mean, except for you. Twice now. But you seem really nice,” she joked, remembering after it was already out that she had also met Jesse from across the street. She wondered if Lexi knew her too.
“Oh, so you don’t know anybody that lives here already?” Lexi asked with a note of surprise.
“No. Is that usually how it works?”
“I think so. I don’t know, though, now that I think about it. It just feels like everybody here knows each other. It’s like a word-of-mouth kind of thing.” Lexi paused and seemed to consider her words. “So how did you end up here? Are you from Staten Island or something?”
“Actually, yeah. But I never knew this place was here. I’ve been living in Brooklyn for the last, like, seven years, since after my first year of college, and I was looking to buy a place. I was really only looking in Brooklyn, but my Realtor brought me out here.” She smiled a little awkwardly as she raised the bottle to her lips.
“Hey, do you think she knew about it because she’s gay or because she’s a Realtor?” Lexi quipped.
Meg laughed. “You know, I never even thought about it. I was so overwhelmed by the whole thing. She said something in passing about an all-women community”—Meg shook her head, reminded of her own obliviousness—“but she totally passed over the main attraction and focused on how close it was to the city. She kept going on about it being right under the bridge, practically Brooklyn—that was her selling point.” Meg smiled, giving a halfhearted vocal impression of the Realtor’s blasé attitude. “It was probably a good move, because there’s no way I would have believed her anyway, and her pitch did get me to look at the place.” She leaned against the shared railing, resting her beer bottle on top of it, resisting the urge to peel at the label. “Anyway, I got here and started noticing all the little nuances. A rainbow flag here, bumper sticker there. But I still thought it was probably my imagination. Then, when we got to this town house”—Meg nodded toward her own unit—“this other woman met us to show us around. At first I thought that she was the seller, but it turned out she’s one of the board members. That’s when it started to sink in. She kept mentioning that there were all types of women here—families, couples, everything. As she was showing me around, she kept pointing to houses, saying her wife this, and her wife that. That’s when I finally got it.”
Lexi smiled knowingly. “The woman who showed you the house, her name was Mary, right?” Her voice was certain as she continued. “About forty, dirty-blond hair, down to about here?” She touched her own shoulder to indicate the length.
“Yeah, I think so.”
Lexi smiled. “That’s Mary Brown. That was your preliminary interview.”
“You mean they were checking me out before they even knew if I was interested in buying the place?”
Lexi shook Meg off. “I think it’s like, they want to make sure you’re a normal person and stuff.” She chewed at her full lower lip as she continued. “And also that you’re actually gay. Supposedly, Mary’s the best at judging people cold.” Lexi paused for a second, considering. “Also, the thing with Mary is she’s just really nice. I bet she does a good job of not scaring people away.”
“So do you have to get a certain number of votes or something to get in?” Meg asked, still trying to understand the process.
Lexi shook her head, even though she wasn’t entirely sure herself. “I don’t think so. I don’t think it’s a popularity contest or anything. I think the main thing that they’re concerned with is you are who you say you are. You know, that you’re gay and not an imposter or a voyeur or something. Like I said before, most people know somebody who lives here, so they have an automatic reference.” She shrugged. “If you’re completely new, I think they just want to be careful. That’s when either Mary or Kameron comes to meet you to do a prescreen before the big board meeting. Be happy you got Mary. They’re both nice, but Kam can be kind of intimidating.”
Meg swallowed the urge to call Lexi out on that particular understatement, but instead moved on to more neutral ground. “So did this Mary person do your walk-through-slash-interview too?” she asked.
“Oh no. I didn’t, I mean, I don’t…I live here with my parents. My moms,” she added.
“Oh, right. Okay.” Meg was a little confused at first, and then totally disappointed as it registered. She glanced at the back of the house attached to hers, Lexi’s house—Lexi’s parents’ house, really—and saw it extended a full floor above her own. Of course Meg knew that already. But now it made sense. As an end unit, it was much bigger than Meg’s. All of the end and corner units were three floors, buttressing the two-floor units that ran between them. It made for a nice design for the development, giving it not only balance but also sort of a palatial look. Now Meg understood that the larger town houses served a functional purpose as well. They were designed for more people, a full family. She hoped her face didn’t show her disappointment and embarrassment that she had simply taken for granted that Lexi was gay. After all, it wasn’t that strange of an assumption, all things considered. And Meg hadn’t said anything too revealing. But she felt stupid anyway.
“So…your parents are gay,” Meg offered, attempting to push through her awkwardness and focus on the positive. “I just figured you owned the house. It was stupid, I guess.” Meg hoped this covered the apology that she couldn’t muster for assuming Lexi was a lesbian.
