The Show Must Go On, page 8
Her eyes met his as her jaw slowly dropped. “W-what? I can’t believe this,” she said, more to herself than him. “Why did you wait until now to say something?”
“I know I should have told you sooner when I first figured it out, but I guess I was scared.” He stared at her and knew he couldn’t be scared anymore. Now that he had said the words, they felt right and undeniable.
Natalia stood wide-eyed and stiff, but in moments she composed herself. “I’ve always thought of you as a friend.”
Rob knew he couldn’t stop now. He stepped closer to her and said, “I was sure the moment I first kissed you.”
Her face flushed at the mention of their kiss. Rob saw her response and stepped closer still. “Why can’t you give us a chance?”
“A chance to what?” He heard the tremor in her voice.
He paused, trying to sort through his chaotic thoughts. “I don’t know. Take our relationship to the next level?”
“Isn’t it a little late to be saying all of this now? I mean, I’ve already made a promise to Jake.”
“No, it’s not too late. You can change your mind.” Only then did Rob notice the diamond sparkling on her finger. The damn thing was huge. She must have hidden it throughout practice. “Good God.” He felt the color drain from his face.
“He loves me,” Natalia said.
“But do you love him?” She must, since she agreed to marry him, but Rob needed to hear her say the words. Only then could he believe it. He stepped closer to her. “Say it.”
Natalia crossed her arms and gave him a defiant stare.
“Okay, then. So, you’re saying you have no feelings for me?”
Her brow creased. “I didn’t say that. I care about you. You’re a good friend.” Punctuating her words with her hands, she said, “Don’t ruin our friendship by doing this.”
Rob scowled. “Do good friends kiss each other like we did on New Year’s Eve? Do good friends kiss each other like this?”
Before she could react, he pulled her close. He slipped his hands into her hair then his mouth claimed hers with a devastating passion, searing, intense. The touch of her lips took his breath away. He simply couldn’t manage a soft, gentle kiss. At first, she seemed stunned into inaction, but when she didn’t push him away, his passion flared. When she finally began to return the kiss, he grew dizzy. Her orange blossom perfume drifted out and wrapped itself around his senses. He was lost in the sensation. This hunger between them short-circuited his brain.
Without warning, she pulled away. Her voice cracking, she said, “I’m so confused.”
Between ragged breaths, Rob said, “There shouldn’t be any confusion. You know in your heart we could be more than friends. The heat of that kiss confirmed it for me.” Daring her to deny it, he touched her face.
Natalia didn’t speak. Rob could see what looked like fear in her eyes, but he thought he saw a spark of something more. If he had any sense, any shred of decency, he would leave her alone. She had made her choice, and he should respect it. He didn’t have much to offer her, but he couldn’t let her go without a fight. Her words didn’t seem to match her actions, so she must not be certain about her decision. He had to try. He had to try to convince her to change her mind. Tossing caution to the wind, he again held her close. “Natalia, this isn’t how I planned to do this, but I’m going to do it anyway. Don’t marry him. Stay here with me and give us a chance. I can’t make any promises, but I think we should give our relationship a chance, a chance to be more than just friends.”
She seemed frozen in place. He had expected her to pull away, but she hadn’t yet.
He stared at her hand and silently pleaded with her to take the ring off. Jake wasn’t the right man for her. But how could he prove it? How could he prove he was the better man, especially when he wasn’t sure he was even good enough for her?
“Oh, Rob.”
He rubbed her arms in a gentle caress, trying to reassure her. Without pausing to think, he charged on ahead. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me, even just a little. Tell me you could never love me, and I’ll let you go. Otherwise, I’m going to fight for you.” Rob stepped back and captured Natalia’s gaze. He was a Southern boy, and his mama had taught him to respect women. He knew he should do the honorable thing and leave her alone to make her own choice, but he knew he had to try to make her see he really loved her.
Natalia stared up at him. Her mouth moved, but nothing came out.
He gazed into her eyes and said, “I think you could love me, and I know I love you. We owe it to ourselves to try.”
Rob bent to kiss her again, but she backed away from him until she met the closed door. She reached behind her, fumbled for the handle, and ran from the room. Rob rushed to follow her, but all he saw was the back of her Jeep as she drove away.
Natalia
Monday 1/9
NATALIA HOPED FOR A reprieve from her unsettled thoughts the next afternoon. She didn’t have to see Rob, but her mind was completely filled with thoughts of him. She gave herself a stern command to concentrate more on Jake. He had awakened her with breakfast in bed, topped off with a bouquet of pink and red carnations. He reminded her he had several meetings that day, going far into the evening. He apologized numerous times to her, saying he hated to leave her alone, but she was grateful for the time to herself. After a half-day of work, she purposely turned off her phone. Between Jake’s insistence on a wedding in two weeks, the band members’ disappointment over her imminent departure, and Rob’s pursuit of her, she needed a break. Deciding to attend a music program about Mozart at the downtown public library, she headed down I-4. A lot of people might be surprised at her varied taste in music, and only a few knew how much she liked Mozart’s music. Rob knew, and he had never seemed to think it odd. Oh, Rob. Music had always been her escape. And she needed to use it now to escape from him.
She lost herself in the songs, and soon she found some semblance of relaxation. But as soon as the program finished, the struggle in her mind started again about what to do about Rob, and what, if anything, she should tell Jake about her relationship with Rob.
Jake called just after the presentation ended. He had taken a moment to call to say he loved her, missed her, and he would return to the apartment as soon as possible. However, Natalia knew he would be busy for at least a few more hours.
She left the building as evening approached, humming Mozart’s ‘Serenade for Winds, Third Movement.’ She stepped into the sunlight and paused to let her eyes adjust, then noticed someone walking up the stairs toward her. She squinted then realized it was Rob. She knew he had seen her, so she couldn’t slip away unnoticed. When he stopped in front of her, she frowned. “What are you doing here?”
He smiled his little boy smile that always charmed women. “I thought I would find you here. I overheard you mention it to Andrew.” His smile widened, and his adorable dimples appeared. “Join me for an early dinner.”
Natalia gazed at him. With his attention focused solely on her and his charm turned on to maximum, she couldn’t seem to pull away. She told herself she had always been immune to his charisma, but now she had serious reason to doubt the truth of that statement. “I don’t know if I should.”
“I know he will be busy tonight. What’s wrong with having dinner with a friend?”
Natalia cocked her head, her eyes narrowing.
“I’m starved. I haven’t eaten since the Pop-Tart and Mountain Dew I had for breakfast.”
Natalia tried to hide her amusement. “Ah, the breakfast of champions.”
Rob grinned. He tried a cajoling tone of voice. “C’mon. You must be hungry too.”
Hoping for distraction, Natalia gazed at his tee-shirt. She shook her head as she read it. I’m The Guy Your Mother Warned You About. That was truer than she had realized. With a quirk of her eyebrow, she said, “It seems too early for dinner.”
“Yeah, but you always skip lunch. Call it a late lunch.” Grinning as he grasped her arm, he said, “No more stalling.” He watched as she wavered, and he smiled again.
She shouldn’t join him, especially after his declaration of love yesterday, but what could happen over a meal? To be truthful, she enjoyed being with him. “Okay. I’ll go with you.”
“Great.” A triumphant grin appeared on his face.
They walked to a nearby restaurant, and dinner turned out to be a surprisingly pleasant diversion. Rob made no attempt to bring up Jake or the wedding, and Natalia began to relax. After eating, he persuaded her to join him for a walk at Lake Eola Park. The sun hovered on the horizon, and it colored the sky with hues of pink, purple, and orange. The colors reflected from the smooth surface of the lake and splashed across the swan paddle boats and the fountain, giving the park a fantasy appearance.
They strolled through the park in silence. Natalia stole a glance at Rob. He seemed more relaxed too. She hated the recent turmoil between them, but he seemed to have backed off. She almost felt comfortable again with him. Maybe he now understood and accepted her decision to marry Jake.
After several minutes, they sat on a bench to watch the sun disappear into night. Rob sat back and slipped his arm behind her. She swung around so she could see him. He gazed at her mouth then his eyes locked with hers. Bending toward her he wrapped one arm firmly around her shoulders, and his other hand held her face in a soft caress.
“I want to kiss you.”
Her heart pounded as she gazed at him. She wanted to kiss him too. “I...um.” Her hands dropped into her lap, and she fidgeted with her engagement ring. She knew wanting Rob was wrong, and she couldn’t act on it. She had to get away. Taking a deep breath, she slid away from him and stood.
“You need to stay away from me,” she said in a raspy voice. Before he could react, she turned and hurried away. He called her name and chased after her. She didn’t turn to face him until he grasped her wrist and made her to stand in front of him.
“Rob, you have to stop this. I’m going to marry Jake. Anything more than friendship between us isn’t going to happen.”
“Nat, you have to think about this.”
“I already have.” She turned away and when it appeared he would follow her again, she turned back to him and placed her hand on his chest. “Please, don’t come after me. We...I can’t do this.”
She walked away, hoping to put space between her and Rob. Only when she arrived at her Jeep Wrangler could she release a tightly held breath and let herself think about what almost happened. She had a weakness for Rob. She now knew she had to avoid him as much as possible, or she would regret the consequences.
Chapter 5
Natalia
Wednesday 1/11
Natalia snuggled with Jake under a throw on the sofa as they watched an old movie entitled Pandora and the Flying Dutchman. It was definitely a B movie, but Natalia had always liked actress Ava Gardner and actor James Mason. Sebastien barely tolerated Jake, but he decided to curl up on the armrest at Natalia’s end of the couch. She sighed, enjoying the tranquil time with Jake, and hoping they would have more moments like this once they married. He ran gentle fingers through her hair as she rested her head on his shoulder. She tried to relax and not to think about Rob, but somehow, he kept showing up in her thoughts. What did she really feel for Rob? Could she be rushing into marriage with Jake? Jake loved her, and he made her feel safe and secure. Rob said he loved her too, but he made her feel anxious and unsettled. She needed to tell Jake what was happening with Rob, but she still hesitated. She feared he would walk out on her. When Jake started to nibble on her ear, she cuddled closer to him, determined to forget about Rob.
“Let’s go to bed, love,” Jake said, his voice warm and deep.
Smiling at him, she pushed the afghan aside, but before either could stand, they heard a knock on the door.
“Are you expecting someone?”
“No, I’m not.” She rose, slipped on her shoes, and crossed the room. When she opened the door, she found Rob, his expression dark, his body stiff, his hands clenched. His shirt said it all. You Want Me. You Just Don’t Know It Yet.
Her stomach knotted. “What are you doing here?” she whispered. She hadn’t seen him since she left him at the park two days ago. Apparently, he had not changed his mind about pursuing her.
“I’ve been texting and calling. You’ve been avoiding me. I need to talk to you.”
“Not now.” She could just imagine what Jake would say if Rob came in and started talking about his feelings or their kisses
He scowled. “I’ve given you time, but time’s up.”
She jumped when she felt Jake’s hand on her arm. She watched as he glanced at Rob then rolled his eyes. “I should have known he’d be here.”
Rob darted a look of distaste at Jake, then turned to Natalia, grasped her arm, and pulled her a bit closer. In a low voice, he said, “I need to talk to you.”
“I don’t want to talk to you now.” She kept her voice low too. “We can talk tomorrow.”
Rob scowled. “Don’t keep pushing me aside. I might start acting crazy.”
The edge in his voice should have been a warning, but Natalia stared up at him in defiance. What would he do with Jake there?
Rob paused, then turned to Jake.
Seeing a dangerous glitter in Rob’s eyes, a chill ran down her spine.
“Maybe your fiancé needs to hear this, too.”
Natalia’s throat tightened as her heart nearly stopped. She took a shuddering breath. He wouldn’t carry through on his threat, would he? “Rob, don’t.” She flashed him a warning with her eyes that even he couldn’t miss.
Jake cocked his head. “What’s this about?”
Facing Jake, Rob said, “I’m going to give it to you straight. I’m in love with Natalia, and I don’t plan on letting her go without a fight.”
Jake stared at Rob for one long, excruciating moment, then turned to her. The scowl on Jake’s face worried her. “What’s this rubbish? Talia, what’s going on?”
With her throat suddenly parched, Natalia looked into Jake’s eyes, then turned and glared at Rob. Ready to push him out the door, if necessary, she cleared her throat and forced some firmness into her voice.
“We’re done here. Go home, Rob.”
Rob stood straighter, defiance on his face. “Not until you convince me that you love him and don’t have any feelings for me.”
“Are you involved with him?” Jake now stared at Natalia, a scowl forming on his face.
How could Rob have done this? Her heart began to beat an uneven rhythm, and her breath came in shallow bursts. Instead of answering Jake, she looked at Rob. “You need to leave, now.”
When he refused, Jake puffed himself up and said, “She told you to go.”
Terrified that Rob would tell Jake about their kisses and ruin everything, Natalia placed her hand on Rob’s chest, intent on pushing him into the hallway. She pressed, but he didn’t move. Her hand felt his strength, and she wanted to feel so much more, but she stopped herself, horrified by her train of thought.
With desperation now showing on his face, he ran a hand through his hair. “Fine. I’m leaving. But this conversation is not over.”
He took no more than two steps when they heard the song from a neighbor’s apartment. “It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over.” Rob turned to Natalia. “Damn right, it ain’t over.” Before Natalia could even come up with a reasonable response, he finished her part. “Lenny Kravitz. Nineteen ninety-one. Virgin Records US.”
Slamming the door for good measure, Natalia leaned against it, eyes closed and heart pounding, while she tried to catch her breath. How had she gotten herself into this mess?
Jake stood before her and frowned. “Natalia, talk to me.”
Her chest was tight, but she managed to speak. “I’m sorry. I didn’t expect that to happen.”
“Are you involved with him?” Jake asked in a terse tone.
Natalia’s breath snarled in her throat, and her chest tightened even more. Somehow, she got the words out. “No, of course I’m not involved with him.”
Jake took her face in his hands. “Are you in love with him?”
Looking into his eyes, she tried to answer but couldn’t seem to catch her breath, nothing in, nothing out. Her hand went to her chest as she desperately tried to pull some air into her lungs. She started to shake uncontrollably.
“What’s wrong?”
She wheezed with each breath. A cold sweat began to trickle down her face, and she started coughing. She had never had a panic attack before. Or was this an asthma attack? Did she need her asthma medication? Either way, she could be in real trouble now.
“Can’t breathe.” It hurt to push the words out.
He wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Natalia struggled for breath as she felt the color drain from her face. “Love, what do you mean you can’t breathe?” Without waiting for an answer, he bent and lifted her. He carried her to the sofa and took her shivering body into his arms. “It’s okay,” he said in a soothing voice. “Please don’t be upset.”
She shook her head as she struggled out of his embrace. Knowing now what was happening, she lurched across the room. When she found her purse, she dumped the contents on the counter. She grabbed her inhaler and administered the medication. She stumbled back to the sofa and fell against Jake. After a minute, she gasped then caught her breath.
Jake had been rubbing her back, but now he gazed into her eyes. His jaw clenched and a crinkle formed between his brows. “What’s going on? Was that an anxiety attack?”
Her breathing still somewhat labored, she said, “It was an asthma attack.” Her head fell back against the sofa cushion, and she closed her eyes. She rested for several seconds then raised her head to look at him.
His eyes opened wide. “I didn’t know you had asthma. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s just a mild case. I almost never have problems, but sometimes stress can bring on an attack.”
