The Show Must Go On, page 12
“Nat, please listen. I didn’t want you to see that. Christina came over unexpectedly. She wanted us to get back together. I don’t want that. I want you.”
How could she trust anything he said now? She yanked her arm free and folded both across her chest in a gesture of defiance and self-defense. “Yeah, right. How many times did you say the same thing to Christina when she caught you seeing someone else behind her back?”
“Natalia, things may have seemed that way, but that’s not how it really was. I was tempted, but I didn’t cheat on Christina.” He stepped closer to her. “I would never cheat on you.”
“You just like to string women along. What is it? An ego thing?”
He shook his head and clenched his hands. “No, it’s not like that.”
Her mouth began to tremble as she said, “Is sex all you want from me?”
“God, no. Natalia, you have to believe me.” He clutched her shoulders. “I love you, only you. This is about so much more than sex. Please believe me,” he said. His voice sounded tight and raw.
She managed to bring her expression under control, and he muttered a curse when she just stood there, resolute against anything he could possibly say. If only she could get her feelings under such tight control.
With her arms still clenched around herself, she said, “I’m leaving.” Her voice sounded dull and flat, but how would she expect it to sound now that she realized Rob had been lying.
“Please don’t go.”
Refusing to meet his gaze again, she slammed the door, turned the ignition, and sped off.
Rob
Friday 1/20
ROB LET LOOSE A STRING of profanities. He would have followed Natalia, but he didn’t have his car keys. By the time he got them, she was long gone. He ordered Christina to leave, telling her in no uncertain terms that he didn’t want to see her again. He tried to contact Natalia without success. In desperation, he called her over and over, but the calls went straight to voicemail. He drove to her apartment and beat on her door. Still no answer. He went to Jennifer’s apartment. He went to Lakeisha’s and Kaede’s apartments. He went to her sister’s house. Where was she?
Natalia
Saturday 1/21
NATALIA RETURNED TO her apartment in the early morning hours. She had spent half of the night alone in her Jeep, with everything that had happened swirling in a maelstrom of agonizing emotion. She assumed Rob had been looking for her, so she had stayed away from home. She couldn’t have borne the thought of seeing Jake either and having to explain her agitated state, so she hadn’t gone to him.
She had received semi-panicked calls from Jennifer, Lakeisha, Kaede and Marissa, but a brief explanation answered those questions. The call from Eric on behalf of himself, Andrew, and Val had been easier to manage with minimal discussion. Rob had certainly stirred everyone up.
Even when she returned home, she had spent hours trying to sleep, tossing and turning, trying hard to banish every thought of Rob. She had to make a final choice between Rob and Jake. Her dream of stardom and Jake. Really her choice had already been made. Rob had proven to be untrustworthy and fickle. Jake seemed stable and true. She knew Jake was the right choice but giving up on her dream of being a star in her home country turned out to be one of the hardest things she had ever done. Giving up on Rob was harder still. She reminded herself that she could pursue a musical career in Australia. She could join a band there. She assured herself that things would work out.
She glanced at her phone. Dawn was just a few minutes away. The ceremony was still several hours away so she paced her living room. Her head pounded and her heart skipped beats. How ironic. Everything was ready for the ceremony except her. She had showered and put on the blue dress she had bought for this day. A delicate Australian opal necklace Jake had given to her adorned her neck. She had pulled her hair into an upsweep, held by a clip covered with delicate pale blue, porcelain flowers. But she was hardly ready. The fight with Rob had thrown her far more than she wanted to admit. Regardless of what had happened between them, she was still foolishly hesitating on her final decision between the two men. Jake seemed like the perfect one for her, calm, secure, safe. Her parents would approve of him. She loved him. She knew she wanted Rob, but she knew now she couldn’t trust him. She thought back to the night before. She should never have gone to see him. She shouldn’t have let him get as close as he did. She cringed at her own behavior.
She heard pounding on the door at eight o’clock. Standing slowly, Natalia took a deep breath. It had to be Rob. She walked to the door and opened it only as far as the security chain would allow. Rob stood on the other side, grim faced and determined.
“W-what are you doing here?” Stupid question. She already knew the answer. She watched him for a moment. He looked as terrible as she felt. Dark circles rimmed his deep blue eyes, and stubble had begun to show on his chin. His clothes were rumpled, and he had even pushed the buttons of his shirt into the wrong buttonholes.
Rob didn’t answer. He just pushed at the door, but she pushed back just as firmly.
With a grimace, she forced out the words. “Would you please go away?”
“Let me in.”
Natalia shook her head vigorously.
Leaning with his hands against the door, he said, “Damn it, where have you been? I tried to find you most of the night.”
She didn’t want to talk to him anymore but how could she make him leave? “Go away.”
“No.” He scrubbed his hand through his hair, leaving it standing on end, as he struggled to maintain his composure. “I don’t know why I keep coming back for more of this torture,” he muttered. He ran his fingers through his hair again then continued. “I’m here to try one last time to talk some sense into you,” he said, as he pushed against the door again.
Natalia’s knees were wobbly, but she didn’t budge. Thank goodness she had left the security chain attached.
“Please let me in. We can’t talk like this.”
“We’re not going to talk at all.”
His desperation was extremely clear. “You have to listen to me. You have to give me another chance to explain.”
She studied him for a long moment and then, even though her mind screamed no, she unhooked the chain and stepped back.
Rob lurched into the room and grasped her arms. “Damn it, where have you been? Are you okay?
“Go away.” She wrenched herself from his arms.
“No.” He pushed his way further into her apartment. His gaze took in her dress and hair. In obvious distress, he blurted out, “You have to listen to me. Please.”
Natalia forced herself to seem unperturbed. “What you say no longer matters. It’s too late.”
“Nothing happened between me and Christina. Why won’t you believe me?”
She turned away and said, “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter.” He paced and muttered something she didn’t quite hear. “You’re going through with this?”
She turned to him. The pieces seemed to fall into place and she knew she loved Jake and she could trust him. She only felt physical attraction for Rob, nothing more. Determined to not lose control, she said, “Yes.”
“Damn it, Natalia. You know I love you. It feels like my world is coming down on me. I can’t live without you.” He grasped her arms. “What the hell am I supposed to do about this?” He stared at her, his eyes dark and stormy.
“I... I don’t know.” Her control started to crack. She stared down at his hands wrapped around her upper arms then back up at him. “I don’t trust you.” Natalia pulled free, backed away and took a deep breath. “I can’t change my mind now.” For a split second she trembled fiercely, but she forced a cool expression onto her face.
Rob stepped back, his hands clenched. He blurted out a song. “To Love Somebody. Bee Gees.” He finished without her input. “Nineteen sixty-seven. RSO Records.” He stared at her and continued. “Like the song says. You don’t know what it’s like to love someone the way I love you.”
Natalia stared back, completely at a loss for words. In all honesty she did love him, but she couldn’t be with him.
“You are so heartless and cruel. You’re turning your back on me, on us. I guess I wasn’t very important to you. I don’t know how I could love a person like you.” He slammed his hand down on the kitchen counter. A glass flew to the floor and shattered into a million pieces.
“Well, fine. Now I know how you really feel,” Natalia struggled to steady her breathing. “Leave. Now. I don’t want to see you again.”
“Fine. The same goes for me,” Rob stormed to the door and slammed it behind him.
Natalia stumbled to the sofa, shaking fiercely. She couldn’t deny her conflicting desires. She wanted Jake but she also wanted Rob. A war of emotions raged within her. Could she even make the right decision in this state of mind? She desperately needed some motherly advice. She gritted her teeth as she pounded her fist into the cushion. Her mother should be there on her wedding day. She stopped pounding her hand when her throat tightened, and she began to cry. She slumped into the sofa, her head in her hands until she heard another knock at ten o’clock. She had been sitting in a daze that long? She reacted in slow motion as she walked across the room and opened the door. Surely it wasn’t Rob again. And she knew Marissa would be arriving at noon after her morning appointments at her vet practice. It must be Jennifer. Or Lakeisha. Or maybe Kaede. It turned out to be Jen.
Jennifer took one look at her and rushed into the apartment. “Girl, you look terrible. What’s going on?” She sat on the sofa beside Natalia.
Before Natalia could speak Lakeisha and Kaede arrived. Lakeisha sat on the sofa on the other side of Natalia. Kaede took the chair in front of her. They listened as Natalia explained what happened with Rob the night before and their confrontation that morning. Jen and Lakeisha put their arms around Natalia and Kaede took her hand. They just sat and shook their heads.
After a brief pause, Jen said, “I honestly didn’t believe Rob would do such a thing. I’m so sorry, Nat.”
Natalia’s head dropped and she choked up, unable to speak.
After a long moment of silence, Lakeisha said, “You know I care about you. We all do. That’s why I’m going to say this. Are you sure about what you want to do? It’s not too late to change your mind.”
“What about Christina?” Natalia mumbled.
“He tried to explain that. Nat, think about this. You should give him the opportunity. You should ask for more time,” Jennifer said, her expression unusually serious. “Just to be sure.”
“Maybe,” Natalia whispered. Marissa had said the same thing days before.
“Doesn’t it tell you something that you went to see Rob the night before your wedding? Doesn’t that tell you you’re not sure?”
Natalia scowled. “It tells me I’m stupid.”
“You’re not stupid. You just need more time.” Jen patted her hand and leaned closer toward Natalia. “Call Rob. Talk to him one more time. You might regret it forever if you don’t.”
Jennifer might be right. Natalia hesitated then picked up her phone. She pressed the button for his number, her hands shaking. Lakeisha gave her a reassuring squeeze.
She heard yet another knock on the door. Natalia froze but Jennifer waved at her to continue as she stood and crossed the room to open the door. Natalia heard conversation in the hallway as she waited for Rob to answer.
He growled hello into the phone.
“Rob?” she whispered. She couldn’t stop the quiver when she spoke.
“Nat? Oh, God. Honey, have you changed your mind?” His voice broke as the words tumbled out.
Natalia’s response was a muffled sob, but before she could continue, she saw movement from the corner of her eye. She gazed up. Jake stood before her with a deep scowl. Her hands started to shake. He took the phone from her hand, and she watched as he ended the call, set the phone to mute and slipped it into his jacket pocket. Shocked at his unexpected display of rudeness, she stared. She could only guess he had heard her say Rob’s name.
“I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to come. I was worried. I was afraid you had changed your mind.”
Natalia tried to speak, but only a squeak came out.
“You’re not getting cold feet, are you?”
Natalia stared at him mutely.
Jake asked Jennifer, Lakeisha and Kaede to give them privacy to talk. Jen glared at him as she grabbed her purse and walked past him into the kitchen. Lakeisha and Kaede followed but Natalia heard Lakeisha grumbling about disrespectful men. And saw Kaede throwing concerned looks over her shoulder.
Natalia stared at Jake as he spoke to her, not really hearing all of what he said. She had to sort through her thoughts. Was this cold feet or real doubt? She thought cold feet was a vague uneasiness, just a fear of the unknown. Real doubt seemed much more negative, suggesting true problems with a potential for great damage. What did she really believe? And what about her feelings for Rob?
Jake kneeled in front of Natalia and taking her hands, said, “I was concerned that your idiot friend, Rob, may have tried to change your mind. I don’t know if anything happened between you and him. And I don’t want to know. I just want you to tell me you love me and will marry me.” He gazed at her. “I love you. You know that don’t you?”
Those words snapped Natalia out of the chaos of her thoughts. She nodded.
“Please don’t break my heart. You know I can give you everything you want and need. I promise to be good to you.” He gazed into her eyes as he caressed her face. Placing his hand under her chin, he raised her face and kissed her. “Please marry me and make me the happiest man in the world.”
His composure soothed her. What had she been thinking? She loved Jake. She wanted to be with him. He would make her happy. She wanted a stable marriage, not a tempestuous fling with Rob. Taking a deep breath, she willed herself to be calm. “Okay,” she whispered.
He then reached inside his jacket and pulled out a single perfect red rose. He placed it in her trembling hand, then pulled her up from the sofa and wrapped his arms around her. Her friends hurried into the room.
Jake gave a triumphant smile then said, “I want to get to the hotel early. Let’s go.”
“Nat?” Jen’s face showed her shock.
Natalia turned and said, “I’m okay. I’m ready.” She smiled at Jake, and he whisked her away. Jennifer, Lakeisha and Kaede rushed to follow.
Rob
Saturday 1/21
ROB STOOD IN THE CENTER of his living room, blinking and shaking his head, in an effort to clear his thoughts. Natalia had called him. Why did she call then hang up? He dropped the phone on the coffee table and began to pace. He clenched and unclenched his hands. He couldn’t ignore this. He had to know. He had to see her one last time. No way could he give up, not yet. His want and need for her seemed too deep and unending. And he had seen want and need in her eyes. Hell, they had almost made love. He felt certain if she didn’t care, her response to him wouldn’t be so hot. How could he turn his back on this? How could she?
He grabbed his keys and raced to his car, then realized he had forgotten his phone. Swearing, he ran back to his apartment and grabbed it.
A text from Jennifer caught his attention. ‘If you told the truth about Christina, then you need to know that I believe Natalia loves you. Jake isn’t right for her. You don’t have much time if you want to stop this wedding.’
Her words galvanized him. Running to his car, he leaped in and careened out of the parking space. While he drove, he called Natalia but got her voicemail. He got voicemail on Jennifer’s and Lakeisha’s phones too. Even on Kaede’s phone. He couldn’t drive this fast and text at the same time, so he kept calling. When he couldn’t reach anyone, he rammed the pedal down, pushing the speed limit as much as he dared. He flew along I-4 East, trying not to zigzag too many times through the infuriating Orlando traffic. All he needed now was the police to pull him over for reckless driving. Then he would never get to Natalia in time.
He finally came to a skidding halt in front of her apartment. Natalia’s Jeep was still there. She must still be there too. He beat on her door then decided she must have already gone. Damn it. He didn’t know where the wedding was to be held. He had obstinately refused to ask. Now what? He had tried her phone so many times, but he tried once more. He would beg her to wait for him. He decided to call Marissa, but he noticed the second text from Jennifer. When he read her message to follow them to the Peabody hotel, now called the Hyatt Regency Orlando, on I-Drive, he began to swear again. He didn’t live far from I-Drive. If only he had checked his damn text messages. He slammed his car into reverse and sped out of the apartment complex. Could he get there in time?
Chapter 7
Natalia
Saturday 1/21
Marissa, Jennifer, Lakeisha and Kaede hovered near Natalia as Jake spoke with the minister who would perform the ceremony. Natalia couldn’t hear the conversation, but she could see Jake’s determined expression. Any determination she might have had was long gone. She was just going with the flow. She glanced at the door, and her thoughts went to Rob. If he had really wanted her, he would have rushed over by now. He hadn’t, and she stood there, mere minutes away from marrying Jake. She shook her head, trying to rid herself of thoughts of Rob. She loved Jake, and she would marry him. They would be happy together.
Natalia’s head turned and now she watched as her friends and sister talked. Another conversation she couldn’t quite hear. They must be discussing the wedding. Or more likely they were talking about what had happened that morning with Rob. That must be an interesting conversation. Jen and Lakeisha were pro-Rob. Marissa and Kaede were pro-Jake. A stalemate. She clenched her shaking hands and took a deep breath. Rob didn’t matter anymore. She told herself to repeat that until she believed it.
