The Show Must Go On, page 16
She had much to fill her days, but in the quiet hours late at night, she felt an aching loneliness. She missed the husband she still didn’t know well but, if she was honest, she missed Rob much more.
She never heard directly from him but Jennifer, Lakeisha, Kaede and Marissa kept her up to date on Rob and what was happening in Orlando. And her father stayed in touch too. She even heard from Eric once in a while.
Time passed, but Jake never asked her to visit again. His calls were sporadic, and she often wondered what he was doing. But why bother to call? He wouldn’t talk to her anyway.
Natalia
Sunday 5/21 to Tuesday 5/30
JAKE FINALLY RETURNED home in late May. Natalia greeted him at the door. “I’m glad you’re back. I missed you.” She reached for Jake, but he gave her a distracted hug. She bit her lip to make sure it didn’t quiver.
She convinced him to sit and talk with her. He said the movie shoot had gone well. She told him she had been enjoying her time working with Ian. Trying to be positive, she didn’t mention the hateful letters that had continued to arrive. She had almost gotten used to them. Their conversation was brief. Then he surprised her by suggesting they go out for dinner. He shared a bit more with her over their meal, but after talking with him, it became obvious their lives were moving along on different paths. Troubled by that thought, she said, “I hope we can spend more time together.”
“Probably not much. I have a lot of business to catch up on.”
Natalia looked at him. She preferred to avoid confrontation, but decided she had to at least try to address the problem. She took a deep breath. “Jake, we hardly see each other. It’s like I’m still in Orlando and you’re here. Even worse since you’re always too busy to talk if I call.”
Jake was searching his phone for something. Was he even listening?
“Things were better in the very beginning, but after the reception our relationship started to slowly fall apart.
He finally looked up. “I’m a busy man. Between starring in movies, learning how to direct movies and my business ventures, well, I just don’t have a lot of extra time.”
She supposed that was logical but somehow, she couldn’t shake the feeling that he just didn’t want to waste his time on her. “At least you’re home now.”
Those words came back to haunt her. Jake made it home the following nights, usually quite late, but one night, he didn’t come home at all. Natalia called him but reached his voicemail multiple times. She paced endlessly, and she barely slept that night.
When he finally returned home the next morning, he explained that he stayed with a friend because he was too tired to drive and had too much to drink.
Natalia accepted his explanation, still upset that he hadn’t called but relieved that he hadn’t driven drunk. She knew what tragedy could happen if someone did that.
Natalia
Wednesday 5/31
ON WEDNESDAY OF THE following week, Natalia scanned her email messages and opened the latest message from Jennifer. Her emails were always chatty and full of updates on everyone and everything, and they never failed to keep Natalia entertained. She noticed Jen always made sure to tell her about Rob. Although Natalia refused to admit it, she anxiously waited for any
tidbit of information about him that Jennifer would send and wondered if
Jen told Rob about her.
Now, as Jennifer’s wedding approached, her emails had become increasingly manic about wedding details. She had hired a wedding planner, but nothing helped Jennifer’s excitement and anxiety. Natalia smiled. Keeping her excitable friend calm and focused on wedding plans while living on the opposite side of the world was not easy with just email. Natalia decided a phone call was needed. She pulled out her phone and hit Jen’s number. Once she recovered from the thrill of receiving an international phone call, Jennifer launched into a long one-sided conversation about her troubles with wedding and reception decisions and what each family seemed to want. Natalia listened patiently as Jennifer’s words tumbled out.
When a break came in her friend’s breathless chatter, Natalia said, “Oh, Jen, it sounds so exciting. I’m looking forward to being part of it.”
“You’re my best friend, Nat. You have to be part of it. You will be able to make it, won’t you?”
“Of course.” Natalia smiled. “Nothing would stop me. Anyway, I have to be there. My gift to you is the music for the reception.”
“This is going to be so wonderful.” Jen’s voice softened. “You’ll be seeing Rob again. Are you okay with that?”
Natalia started to speak, but for a moment, nothing came out. Would she be okay with it? She would have to be. With a nervous flutter in her chest, she said, “Yes, I’ll be fine.”
“I should’ve asked. How are you and Jake?”
Natalia hesitated. “We’re okay.” Well, not really. In the beginning, he had been attentive. Now he all but ignored her. She knew he was ambitious and just assumed he was busy with his job, but sometimes she felt neglected. But she didn’t want to say that to Jennifer. She would just worry.
When Natalia ended the call, she looked for Jake. She found him in his home office. He hadn’t been home long, and soon Natalia would have to leave. Terrible timing. She wondered if it even mattered to him.
Sitting on the edge of the desk, she said, “That was Jennifer. We talked about last-minute things before I leave for Orlando.”
Busy with whatever he was doing online, Jake didn’t seem to hear her.
“I wish you could come with me.” Again, no response. Natalia watched him as he studied the laptop screen. She knew he had another project lined up, and another, and another. It never seemed to end, which was good for Jake but bad for their marriage.
Jake would have to leave before she would return from Orlando. When she had realized the project would be the same time as Jennifer’s wedding, she knew what his choice would be. He would take the assignment, and she would travel to Orlando alone.
“Talia, I wish you would stay.”
Jake’s words startled her out of her thoughts. Hadn’t he heard what she just said? “You know I can’t. I wouldn’t dream of missing Jen’s wedding.”
He frowned. “I can’t go with you. Will you be okay?”
“Of course, I will. I’m staying with my sister, and I’ll be with friends. Anyway, I’m sure I’ll be terribly busy with dress fittings, rehearsals, and such.”
Jake paused, then turned to fix her with a stern look. “You’re not going to see that idiot Rob again, are you? You know I don’t want you anywhere near him.”
“Oh, for goodness sake. He’s the best man. I can’t exactly avoid him.”
Jake scowled. “I don’t want you to go.”
Natalia frowned and crossed her arms. “I have to go. I’m the matron of honor.”
“I don’t like this.” Before Natalia could respond, he said, “If you insist on going, then stay away from him as much as possible. I don’t trust him.”
She didn’t like the direction of the conversation, but unable to let it drop, Natalia said, “It sounds like you don’t trust me.”
Jake stood and loomed over her. “Of course, I do. I just don’t trust him.” He grabbed her arm. “Just do as I say. Stay away from him.”
Natalia bristled. So often, Jake was an overbearing jerk, always telling her what to do and never trusting her judgment. She studied him and his sour expression. Annoyance battled against a desire to avoid conflict. She sighed and grumbled, “I’ll do my best.”
Standing in the hallway, Natalia looked around. Having nothing else to do, she went outside to the gazebo to try to relax. The stress of building a new life in a new country, the obnoxious letters from an unknown person, and Jake’s treatment of her were eating away at her. She sat and sighed. Meditation might help.
She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. Envisioning a divine white light surrounding her and protecting her, she began to feel her body loosen and a subtle shift in her awareness. Her mind drifted, and she became less aware of her surroundings. Feeling herself go to her special place, she smiled. The sun was streaming, the grass was a vivid green, the trees were rustling in the breeze, and the stream was bubbling and clear. Spending time there always revitalized her. She lingered for a while, absorbing the divine love pouring from the heavens, then slowly, she resurfaced. She hoped her improved mood would last.
Rob
Wednesday 5/31
ROB SAT IN FRONT OF his laptop, his mind blank, just wasting time. Actually, he was doing his best not to think about Jennifer and Andrew’s upcoming wedding. He was also trying to avoid obsessing about his writer’s block. He had been having trouble writing new songs ever since Natalia left five months ago. Everything he wrote sounded terrible to him. On top of that, the band was struggling without her. Worry and frustration ate at him constantly. Somehow, he needed to stop thinking about her, but she seemed to be in his every thought. Without her, his life was dull and boring. Everyone noticed his lack of interest and energy, but no one had a helpful suggestion on how to solve his problem.
With no enthusiasm, he surfed through several websites. Nothing better than the garbage on TV. With a few keystrokes, he found himself at Spotify. That site was usually entertaining. He checked out some recently added music videos then decided to look for anything on a few favorite older artists who were still in the business.
His search brought up a few videos of Roy Osborne. A new one had been uploaded from an Australian television special. He sat back to watch. The song was a classic. Roy was joined by an eclectic ensemble of rock and pop superstars, but Rob’s gaze wandered to the supporting band.
Holy shit! Natalia was there. Now he had to know more. He entered Natalia’s name and waited. Another video popped up, one of Eli Cahill, performing his smash single, “Leah,” and posted by the same user. Must be a fan. He hit play. Good God, Natalia was part of his band too. She was playing the piano coda, the instrumental solo she had told him she always wanted to play. Well, it seemed her dreams had come true. She had achieved a level of success that left him wishing he was there with her.
Rob couldn’t stand it anymore. Life was conspiring to remind him of her at every turn. He slammed down the lid of his laptop.
Chapter 9
Natalia
Thursday 6/8
Natalia knew she was one step away from being a total mess. She could think of no other way to describe herself. She took a deep breath, but it didn’t ease the tight feeling in her chest. She stepped out of her rental car and into the bright, clear Orlando afternoon. Had she truly been gone five months? In a way, it seemed like forever. She shielded her eyes from the blazing sun and tried to shake off the bleakness that had seeped into her when she had arrived in Evanston four days earlier. Her mother had seemed so frail and as fragile as her tenuous hold on reality. Natalia shivered despite the heat. She hoped the time in Orlando would help her put everything into a positive perspective.
As she turned to walk to the coffee shop, her cell sounded. Stopping, she smiled and listened for a moment. She had used her favorite song that Rob had written for RAVEN as a ringtone. Jake hated it. She smiled again. Then she saw it was Jake calling. Her smile disappeared.
“Hello, Jake.”
“Talia,” he replied. “Are you in Orlando yet?’
“Yes. I’m heading into the coffee shop to meet with Jen.”
“Have you seen that deadhead yet?”
Natalia was becoming accustomed to Australian slang. Still, she decided to pretend she didn’t know what he meant. “Deadheads are fans of the Grateful Dead.”
Jake almost growled. “You know who I mean. Have you seen him yet?”
“Rob is not a loser. And, no, I haven’t seen him yet.”
“I don’t want you spending any time alone with him. Got it?”
Now Natalia almost growled. He was giving out orders?
“Jake, I told you I’d spend as little time as possible near him. Isn’t that good enough?”
“Just see that you stay away.”
“Okay, Jake.” She stabbed the button to end the call. Taking a deep breath, she entered the café. She and Jennifer had planned this afternoon weeks ago, and Natalia was looking forward to seeing her friend and starting on final wedding arrangements. Although Jen’s wedding was only five weeks away, Natalia felt confident she would be ready for the performance at the reception. She had hired Fallen Rock Zone as the band and her friend, Brian, reassured her that they would have enough time to practice in person. The time they had practiced online had been invaluable.
Natalia entered the shop. She saw Jennifer immediately. Both women grinned, and her friend jumped up, squealed, and grabbed her in a boisterous hug. After a few moments, Jen stepped back and cocked her head.
“You’ve changed your hair color.”
Natalia shrugged. “Yeah. Jake doesn’t like red hair, so now I’m blonde.”
Jennifer frowned. Natalia expected a comment, but her friend remained silent. Still, she could see the disapproval on Jen’s face. They sat, and after an uncomfortable moment, they picked up their conversation where they had last left it. “So is the wedding planner joining us?’
“No, Caitlyn won’t be coming.” Jennifer studied Natalia’s face. “You’re not upset that I hired her. I mean, I really needed some help with you being gone. Not that it’s your fault. I just wanted everything to be exactly right. I don’t want to mess anything up.”
Natalia raised her hand to stop Jen’s chatter. “It’s fine. I understand.”
As usual, Jennifer continued, asking questions in rapid-fire succession, and Natalia laughed as she tried to keep up.
Natalia couldn’t help but ask again. “Are you sure you don’t mind me singing some songs that are usually sung by guys? A lot of brides don’t like that.”
“No, of course not.” Jen’s eyes met Natalia’s. “You know, I’m glad you decided to get out from behind your synthesizer and sing instead. This will be great.”
“And a song or two originally written and recorded by an African American artist. I always hesitate because so many people call it cultural appropriation.”
“I understand but I think you’re very respectful of the music of other cultures.” Jen’s eyes met Natalia’s.
Natalia sighed in relief. She had initially felt a bit uncomfortable about singing the entire show because of her asthma but the singing lessons suggested by Ian had really helped. Just because she had never sung a whole show didn’t mean she couldn’t. If that was what Jennifer wanted, then she would do it.
At that moment Lakeisha burst into the coffee shop. Natalia jumped up to give her a hug. She got her drink and joined Jennifer and Natalia. When not working Jen was usually dressed in fairly casual clothes and completely without cosmetics. However, Lakeisha always looked so fashionable. Her clothes were always chic, and her makeup was always perfect. Especially her dramatic eyeliner and eyeshadow. She was so vibrant. Sometimes Natalia compared herself to Lakeisha. That always made her feel pale and plain. She sighed.
“You decided to go blonde?”
“Jake made her do it.” Jen interrupted.
Lakeisha’s eyes widened. Before Natalia could respond, her friend continued. “It’s pretty, I guess, but I can’t believe you’d let your dumbass of a husband force you to do that.”
Shaking her head, Jennifer said, “Jake is such a loser.”
Natalia looked at Lakeisha then Jennifer then Lakeisha again. She wasn’t sure what to say.
Lakeisha glanced at Jen. “Have you asked her yet?”
Natalia looked at her friends. “Asked me what?”
Jennifer became quiet then looked down at her cup and started to jiggle the stirrer. She hesitated then met Natalia’s gaze. “I have something I’d like to ask you to do for me. I hope you won’t be angry.” Jen leaned over the table, her expression anxious.
Natalia gazed at Jennifer, perplexed by her comment. “Why would I be angry with you?”
“You said your gift to us would be the music at our reception.” Jen hesitated for a moment, then her words came tumbling out. “Will you include Rob? I know you’ve hired the band already, but Andrew and I were hoping that you and Rob could work together. Maybe he could have a set? And you could choose a few songs to perform together. Will that be a problem?”
She stared at Jennifer. No way had she expected that request. Natalia had asked her friend’s band to provide the music so she wouldn’t have to work with Rob again. She had hoped to avoid temptation. That would be impossible if she had to team up with him. In an effort to stall for time, she said, “Have you asked him too?”
“Yes, we have. He seemed okay with it.”
Lakeisha, said, “You should do it.”
Natalia considered the request. She had all of the music planned for the reception, and this would cause a major disruption. Why hadn’t Jen said something earlier in the planning stage when it would have been easier to make accommodations? And what about Rob? Although she didn’t want to disappoint her friends on their wedding day, she wasn’t sure she could face him again. Jake’s demand that she spend as little time as possible with Rob echoed in her mind as well. Oh, for goodness sake. She was a mature adult. She could work again with Rob and remain professional. She just had to be careful. With a certain amount of trepidation, she agreed.
Jennifer’s face lit up. “Oh, thanks. I really appreciate that. I’ll tell Rob to give you a call.”
“No, don’t do that,” Natalia rushed to say. “I have a meeting with the band tomorrow. Just tell him to meet me there.” She scribbled the location and time of the meeting on a napkin and handed it to Jennifer.
“Thank you so much. I’m sure it will work out fine.”
Natalia’s eyebrow raised. She just prayed everything didn’t blow sky-high.
