The Show Must Go On, page 17
Natalia
Friday 6/9
THE NEXT DAY, NATALIA had lunch with Kaede. Her friend had been sounding depressed in her emails and Natalia wanted to talk with her in person.
As they sat across from each other in the restaurant, Kaede said, “I’m really having a hard time living in Florida without any family nearby. I have friends.” She smiled at Natalia. “But I miss my family.”
“I can empathize. Being away from family can be tough.”
“Yeah. I mean, I can text or call. Or Skype. But it isn’t the same.”
“No, it isn’t. I’m in a similar situation. Being in Sydney without any family nearby is hard.”
“It was so hard in the beginning when I first got here. But it’s still difficult. So many things happen in my family and I’m not there to enjoy or participate.”
Natalia nodded. “I wish I had some suggestions to help make it better for you.” Her scrunched her face. “I wish I had some suggestions for myself too.”
“I appreciate that.” Kaede hesitated then met Natalia’s gaze. “Han ghosted me. Even after all this time.”
Not expecting this kind of news, Natalia stared for a long moment. “Oh Kaede, I’m so sorry. You two had been together a long time. That kind of loss is very painful. It must be making everything else so much worse.”
Choked up, she could only nod her head. Natalia stood and hugged her friend then sat and took her hand. She did her best to listen and be supportive.
“Please remember that I care about you. And even though I live on the other side of the world, you can call, email or text me anytime.”
They talked for a while longer and as they parted Natalia thought Kaede looked a bit less burdened.
AFTER THE MEAL, NATALIA spent most of the next two hours pacing and sweating at the prospect of spending time with Rob. She swung from desperately wishing Jennifer hadn’t asked her to include him to anxious anticipation at seeing him again. By the time she arrived at the meeting place, she had decided she needed to see him. Just to reassure herself that he was okay. She paced as she waited for him to arrive, her stomach in knots. The band members had called to say they would be a few minutes late. That shouldn’t be a problem. She expected Rob to be late too. He always was.
Turning to pick up her purse, she gazed up just in time to see Rob walk into the room. She stopped, frozen in place. Their eyes met, and Natalia could sense the tension as it simmered in him. She hoped this wouldn’t turn out to be an ugly confrontation. He walked up to her then stopped. His expression seemed disinterested, but his eyes said more.
They stared at each other for a long, awkward moment, then Rob said, “Hi, Natalia. It’s good to see you.” His voice seemed stilted.
Perhaps she had worried for no reason, yet she couldn’t help but tighten up at seeing the flash of his eyes. She twirled the end of her braid through her fingers as she said, “Hi, Rob. How have you been?”
“Okay. How about you?”
“Oh, I’m fine.” He continued to stare, and she held his gaze as she tried to appear unruffled. Then she glanced down at his shirt. Could You Come Back In a Few Beers? She tried for a bit of humor. “Great shirt.” The liberal dose of irony in her voice wasn’t such a clever idea after all. Rob still seemed angry.
“You changed your hair color.”
What? Rob had to be the only guy in the world who would notice something like that. “Yeah, I guess I wanted a change.” Jake had made a heavy-handed request for the change, but Rob didn’t need to know that.
“I liked it the way it was before better.”
“Jake likes it this way.”
Rob scowled but said nothing.
They watched each other for several lingering moments. The tension made the knots in Natalia’s stomach even tighter. Rob broke the uncomfortable silence. “So, we’re supposed to work on the music for the reception. Show me what you have so far.” He pulled out a cigarette.
“I thought you were going to quit,” Natalia blurted out. Rob frowned at her but said nothing. “I’m sorry,” she muttered. In an effort to be polite and professional, she reached into her bag and pulled out the list of songs and the information on the band. She cleared her throat and said, “I have the set list, but it’s still flexible.” Not really, but what could she say? No, I don’t have room for you in the show? Just go away? “We’ll have to figure out how to fit you in.” She shuffled through her papers. “Jennifer chose some rock songs, some pop songs, some dance songs, and some standards. She wants some fun songs too, but she said she would strangle me if we did something like the chicken dance.”
Rob choked on a laugh, then loosened up and almost smiled. “These are good choices. I have a few suggestions, too.” He pulled several folded sheets of music from his pocket and handed them to her.
She recognized what she held. “You wrote these songs?”
He nodded. “My gift to the happy couple.”
Had she detected a note of sarcasm? She gazed at him for a moment, then looked over the songs. “Wow, these are good. I’m sure Jen will love them.” He smiled for the first time since he arrived, and she breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.
“So, which band did you choose?”
“I asked my friend, Brian Mitchell, to help us out. His band is Falling Rock Zone.” Natalia grinned. “Isn’t that a great name for a pop group?”
Rob nodded with a slight smile. “I’ve heard of them.” He paused, a perplexed expression on his face. “You and Brian were in the band Rockhead, right?”
Natalia stiffened. “Yes. That was the first band I joined when I moved here.”
Rob’s expression seemed thoughtful for a moment. “Didn’t the drummer die in a car accident?”
Natalia felt the color drain from her face. She mumbled, “Um, yes.” She wrapped her arms around herself as thoughts of Joey invaded her mind. “The band broke up, and eventually Brian formed his new group Falling Rock Zone.”
“And you joined RAVEN.”
Natalia nodded and looked away for a moment.
“Falling Rock Zone is a great band. Andrew and Jennifer will be happy with them.
They stood there in silence, Natalia at a total loss about what they
should do next.
Rob said, “I could use your input on these songs.”
Natalia looked at him with wide eyes. She hadn’t expected this request, but agreed. They sat together in front of her synthesizer to review the songs and soon lost themselves in their old pattern of give and take. More comfortable now, Natalia made a wry comment about wedding singers then gazed up at Rob with a mischievous grin. His poignant expression stopped her mid-sentence.
“I miss you, Nat. I miss this.”
She swallowed hard. “I miss you too.”
He looked into her eyes, and a slow, wistful smile came to his face. “Natalia, I...”
Natalia’s lips parted, and for a moment, she and Rob just sat and stared at each other. His expression softened as she gazed into his deep blue eyes, and she couldn’t seem to draw back. Something gripped her, and as it tightened, it seemed to pull her closer and closer to him.
Ever so slowly, Rob leaned toward her, and her hand dropped onto his forearm. He tilted his head as she raised hers. She shouldn’t be this close to Rob, should definitely not do what she seemed to be doing, but couldn’t stop her response to him. His mouth hovered a fraction of an inch from hers when they heard the door open and the fall of footsteps behind them.
Natalia and Rob jerked apart when they heard Brian’s voice. She leaped from her chair, stumbling over her own feet. What in the world did she think she was doing? She had no business leading Rob on like that. She should have known to keep her feelings for him under tight control. She glanced back at him and paused when she saw a hint of sadness in his eyes. For one crazy moment, she longed to wipe that sadness away, but then he stood, and the look was gone. She pushed away her erratic thoughts and introduced Brian to Rob. She noticed the other guys had arrived as well.
Brian smiled and introduced the band. “This is John Dalton, the bass player. Roger Turner, the drummer. And Freddie Marsden. He’s our singer, songwriter, and keyboard player. Of course, you and Nat will be singing this time.”
They soon fell into friendly conversation, but Natalia was having difficulty focusing. What had she been thinking? Almost kissing Rob was something stupid she knew she couldn’t do. Now it was even more obvious she needed to avoid too much time alone with him. If she could just do that, this might just work out fine.
As she stood and stewed about the situation, her phone sounded. Jake was calling again. She hurried away from the guys and took the call.
“Where is that drongo now?”
She wanted to shout that Rob wasn’t a dumbass, but she didn’t. She decided to say something she knew would aggravate Jake. “I don’t know where he is. Should I?”
“Don’t be so bloody minded. Have you seen him yet?”
“Only with the guys from the reception band.” She had almost kissed Rob, but she quailed at the thought of admitting that to Jake. She was sure he would go ballistic if she confessed that. She wouldn’t be too surprised if he came to Orlando, and dragged her back to Sydney, all the while berating her for her behavior. She didn’t need that. She was doing a fine job berating herself.
“Just remember what I said.”
She hung up on him again. He’d be angry, but at the moment, she didn’t care. She walked back to where the band members and Rob were talking. She tried to forget the phone call as the band discussed the songs. She felt better after they practiced for a while. They called it a night when they began to feel they were working well as an ensemble. Afterward, Natalia slipped away before Rob could catch her.
Later, at her sister’s house, she sat in the guest bedroom and thought about the almost kiss. Why did it happen? Rob had obviously wanted to kiss her. And she wanted to kiss him too. She knew she still had feelings for him. And obviously he still had feelings for her. She gave herself a stern reminder that she owed Jake loyalty and faithfulness. But it didn’t help that Jake was losing interest in her. Why did he marry her if he was just going to end up practically ignoring her?
Rob
Thursday 6/15
ONCE AGAIN, THE BAND’S practice session had already begun when Rob arrived at the warehouse. Damn it. What was going on? No matter how hard he tried, he seemed to continue to show up late, or miss the rehearsal time altogether, especially when Natalia practiced with the band. Brian always said she had already left or the time with her had to be rescheduled. Those explanations just didn’t make sense. But this time, she was here. He stepped into the shadows to watch for a few moments.
The group dove into their next song, Natalia leading with the melody, Brian jumping in with a complicated harmony. They ran through the first few bars, but when Natalia shot a glance Brian’s way, he stumbled over the tongue-twisting lyrics, and they had to stop. The band started again, but once more, the lyrics tripped Brian up. He turned to Natalia and pointed a finger at her in mock aggravation. “Stop looking at me. You know you can’t look at me when we do this song.”
Brian grinned at her innocent expression, and they tried again. When he lost it a third time, they dissolved into a fit of giggles. Freddie threw up his hands and called for a break.
When the others had left, Brian appeared to lapse into thought. With a grimace, he said, “You know, things got kind of crazy right before Rockhead fell apart.”
Natalia’s head dropped. “Yeah.”
“I guess I can’t blame you for trying to get away from it all. We were out of control, all of us. I’m surprised something even worse didn’t happen.”
“It was bad enough.”
“Yeah. Are you okay now?”
“I think so.”
“Are you okay working with me and John again? I mean, if we still had Joey, it would be the old band again.”
“I’ll admit I was afraid it would be too painful. And it feels weird to be the singer and not the keyboardist. But it’s okay.”
Rob overheard their conversation. He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop. It had just happened. At first, he didn’t like their camaraderie, but now he was more upset. What had Natalia and Brian been talking about? He hated this. He hated that she felt she couldn’t share with him whatever had upset her. Even more, he hated that she didn’t believe him when he had insisted nothing happened with Christina the night before her wedding. He wanted to sit Natalia down right now and talk this out with her. He would do anything to give their relationship a chance. But she was married now, and nothing he could do would make any difference. As old-fashioned as it sounded, he believed in the sanctity of marriage. What he wanted didn’t matter anymore. But getting through this was going to be a struggle.
When Natalia had smiled at him the first day, the weight that had been dragging him down lifted. Regardless of how angry and hurt he had been when she left, he still wanted to see her. No, he needed to see her. He needed to know she was okay. The updates he got from Jennifer simply weren’t enough. He knew working with her again was going to be an excruciating mix of pleasure and pain, but he couldn’t stop himself. He just hoped he had the strength to make it through without doing something phenomenally stupid.
He hung back for another few seconds then sauntered in as if he had heard nothing.
Later, as they began to gather their equipment for the night, Rob took Brian aside to talk with him. Brian agreed to join him for a beer, and soon they were sitting at the Curious Lizard.
They talked about the music business for several minutes while sitting at the bar, but Rob was preoccupied. He had never expected Natalia’s response when he almost kissed her several days ago. What would have happened between them if Brian and the band had arrived a few minutes later? He didn’t know what to do, how to act. He wondered if Brian could help. “You’ve known Natalia for a long time, right?”
“Yeah, I guess about five years or so.”
“I’ve known her for only about two and a half years, but there are things I don’t really know about her.”
Brian didn’t respond.
Rob changed tactics. “I know you’ve been running interference for her.”
Eyebrows raised, Brian turned his head to look at Rob. He sighed. “Yeah, you’re right.” He paused. “I can see that you care about her.” He studied Rob for a moment. “I think you’re even in love with her. What do you want to know?”
Rob hesitated but only for a moment. He didn’t want to seem like a loser, but he had to answer Brian. “I do love her. I told her I did. I asked her to stay with me, but she refused. She married...” Rob flinched. “...someone else. I don’t understand. I mean, I know I’ve made some mistakes, but I’m sure she felt the same way about me. Why wouldn’t she give us a chance?”
“I assume she loved this other guy more.”
Rob scowled. “She never actually said so. Even her best friend Jennifer wasn’t sure.”
Brian shrugged. “I wouldn’t know.”
“There was something wrong. Something she wouldn’t tell me. She seemed afraid to even consider a relationship with me. I can’t imagine why she would be so scared.”
Brian grimaced. “I think I might know, but it’s not something I can talk about without asking her first. Have you asked her?”
“Yeah, but she won’t talk to me.”
Brian took another swallow of beer then turned to Rob. “You know she’s married now. Maybe this really doesn’t matter anymore.”
Rob’s brow creased. “Do you think she’s happy?”
Brian paused to consider his question. “She says she is, but I’m not sure. I’m not really an expert on this kind of stuff. What are you thinking about doing?”
“I haven’t decided yet.” Rob scowled. “Val accused me of being a homewrecker.”
“Hmm.” Brian’s lips twisted. “Just make sure you don’t hurt her.”
Rob looked at Brian and tried to decide what Natalia’s friend really thought. “I don’t ever want to hurt her.”
Natalia
Saturday 6/24
NATALIA HURRIED AROUND Marissa’s house three weeks before Jennifer’s wedding, frazzled by the last-minute details for her bridal shower. Natalia decided the theme should be a fifties-style pool party. She called it Enchantment by the Sea, inspired by the high school dance in the movie Back to the Future. Jennifer was a real fun-loving Florida girl who enjoyed the sun and sand, so Natalia knew she would love this kind of party. Natalia usually got sunburned just looking out the window. She shook her head to clear her thoughts.
The bridesmaids, Lakeisha, Darcie and Summer, were trying to help, but they seemed much too excited. Natalia asked them to finish the indoor decorations while she and Marissa discussed the food preparation.
In the middle of the discussion, Marissa’s cell beeped. Natalia stepped aside so her sister could have some privacy.
“Who is this?” Whoever called had obviously surprised her sibling. “Oh, hello.” She listened for a moment. “Yes, she’s here.” Then she said, “No, he isn’t. We’re having her friend’s bridal shower soon. No guys allowed.” She listened longer this time. “Do you want to talk to her?”
Who was talking with Marissa anyway?
“Okay, I’ll tell her. Goodbye.”
Her sister turned to her. “That was Jake.”
Natalia’s eyes widened. Her husband was calling her sibling now?
“He wanted to know where you were.”
Oh no. Jake was starting to bother her family? She could tell Marissa that Jake was checking up on her, but she cringed. Perhaps it was best to smooth it over.
“Maybe I missed one of his calls. I’ll make sure to call him soon.”
Marissa studied her but said nothing more.
The guests began to arrive at three o’clock. Jennifer arrived right on time with her mom and grandmother. They had just sat when Jen’s two aunts knocked on the door. The party was already getting boisterous when her two sisters, Jeannie and Jessica, who were also bridesmaids, showed up. In the midst of that, one of Jennifer’s photographer friends showed up, and the two friends that Natalia invited but barely knew arrived. Andrew’s mother even joined them for a while on Skype.
