"You’re in love with Hunter." I stand up from the chair.

  "No. No. No, I certainly am not."

  "Calm down, honey. And yes, you are, the way you look at her, the way you laugh with her." I take a deep breath.

  "Skylar sit down, it's nothing to worry about." I shake my head repeatedly and sit down as she said. She places her hand on my knee and looks at me with warm eyes.

  "It's okay Skylar, it's normal to fall in love." I shake my head again.

  "No, I can't have feelings for Hunter."

  "Why?" She asks while I sit with my heart in my throat.

  "Is it because she’s a girl?" I shake my head.

  "No, because she’s Hunter." She looks at me confused.

  "Is there something wrong with Hunter?"

  "No, she’s perfect in every way, but just so damn hard to get through to and if I try, she shuts me out." I sigh.

  "She’ll come around when she’s ready. Your dad told me she was much worse before and that you’re the reason she’s opening up. He’s so proud of you and all the things you’ve done for her. Just wait for her, Skylar. In the end, it’s worth it." She tells me with a warm smile and I nod.

  "I know, but IF I have feelings for her, she’d not feel the same."

  "Skylar, I saw you two in your room the first morning you were here." My heart’s beating out of my chest.

  "Sorry, but I wanted to check on you two, Hunter seemed upset. Then I found you two cuddling up together. If you’re telling me she has no feelings for you, then you’re lying to yourself. She likes you as much as you like her. You give her the confidence she needs, and Hunter has made you very patient and kind. Last time you were here you almost killed your cousin." I laugh.

  "God, she annoyed me. But grandma, the only reason we’re sleeping in the same bed is it keeps her nightmares away. It's nothing more." I argue.

  "Of course, it’s more than that. Skylar, you’re the one that keeps them away. She has feelings for you. Hunter’s an emotional girl. Unfortunately, she’s afraid to show them. She’s an open book compared to what she shows others, and you should be happy about that. She’ll continue to open up to you. I think the problem is she doesn't know how to do it. She feels something for you but can't express it because doesn’t know. My guess is she’s grown up learning not to show emotions and never felt anything good until you came along. You’re everything to her and she knows that but doesn't know what she’s feeling." All her words made my head spin. It’s insane I have feelings for Hunter. Sure, she’s beautiful and can tease me sometimes, it’s fun. But feelings for her? Come on. Even if I do, she wouldn’t like me that way. What the hell am I thinking?

  "No, no, no..."

  "What's wrong?" Hunter asks coming out the door, she looks concerned.

  "Nothing," I say in a panic.

  "Come, let's go to the beach." I take her hand and start walking.

  "Okay?" She says unsure but follows.

  Hunter and I have been walking on the beach for a little while now. The sand feels good under my bare feet, it’s so warm just like Hunter's hand, still intertwined with mine. She hasn't said anything about it or tried to let go, so I guess she doesn’t mind. Maybe grandma’s right, Hunter has strong feelings for me but doesn't realize what she’s feeling. I’m not even sure she’s ever received love from her parents or anyone else. It sounds so sad to live without love; it must really make you angry and depressed on the inside.

  "Skylar?" She says my name. She’s the only one that sends chills down my spine.

  "Hmm?" I answer.

  "You’re very quiet." She says and squeezes my hand.

  "I know."

  "Is there something wrong?" She looks at me with pleading eyes, knowing I can't help but give in to her.

  "Do you like me, Hunter?" I ask, and she snorts.

  "I thought it was something serious, you scared me. Yes, I do."

  "On a scale of one to ten, how much?" She looks at me thinking and takes a deep breath.

  "Nine"

  "What, why?" She can't like me that much.

  "Because sometimes you make weird noises when you sleep and that takes away one point." She teases, and I shake my head rolling my eyes.

  "You’re unbelievable."

  "Hey, we’re not all perfect. I have my flaws." I stop walking and look at her.

  "No, Hunter. You’re perfect." Her cheeks redden, and she looks away from me.

  "No, I’m not." She turns to me again.

  "I hate I can't look at people without feeling panic in my chest. I hate I can’t stop thinking about the past. I hate I hurt you. I hate I can't tell you the things you want to hear because I’m afraid of losing you." She looks down at her feet.

  "Hunter, you can tell me anything. I’ll never leave you."

  "No, you should, Skylar. You should run from me. I’m not a person you keep close as a friend; I’m the person people avoid, Skylar. I’m the one people kick to the curb."

  "No, Hunter. You mean a lot to me, I’d never leave you." I feel a lump in my throat; it’s painful to listen to her talk so badly about herself. I hate when she does.

  "Then you’ll have to go through a lot of shit." I squeeze her hand.

  "Hunter, you can drag me through hell as long it means I can hold your hand." I lift our intertwined hands.

  "I will follow you, Hunter. You're not getting away that easy." She snorts and shakes her head. I think my grandma’s right, I have feelings for Hunter. Stronger than I thought because right now I want to kiss her more than anything. I want her to kiss me. I want her right next to me like this all the time. I want her to sleep next to me every night, so I can feel her breath on my neck.

  "I hope you’ll guide me to and through heaven, Skylar."

  Chapter 23

  Big brown eyes

  Iwake up with a soft warm hand on my face.

  "Skylar," Hunter calls my name in the most tired voice I’ve heard from her. I open my eyes, Hunter’s laying on me with her hand on my face.

  "Skylar." I take her hand from my face and hold it.

  "Yeah," I answer. She moves her head; her eyes are closed, she looks and sounds like she’s drugged.

  "Is there something wrong?" She asks and yawns.

  "No, why?" She rubs and then opens her eyes to look at me. I can't stop the smile that comes on my face. Hunter looks so drained it’s cute. She can barely keep her eyes open, so she keeps closing them occasionally. I brush the hair from her face away, she smiles.

  "You were shaking, and it made me worry."

  "That’s why you put your hand on my face?" I ask chuckling.

  "I was too tired to open my mouth at first; it was easier to use my hand. It was right next to your face." She has the cutest smile on her face; it takes all the power in me not to kiss her.

  "What time is it?" I ask. Her smile fades and she stares at me with a grumpy expression.

  "Are you telling me I have to stretch my arm over to the table just to see what the time is?"

  "Please?" I beg.

  "Don’t look at me like that with your big brown eyes, I can't say no when you do that," She moves over and reaches for her phone.

  "It’s so unfair." She says and moves back.

  "It’s almost six. Why did you have to wake up so early.”? She asks and lays back down on my chest.

  "You’re the one waking me up," I say, and she snorts.

  "I guess we’re even then. I can hear your grandma walking around in the kitchen," Hunter says.

  "Maybe I should lay on the mattress just in case." I wrap my arms around her, afraid she’ll move.

  "Don't you dare. Besides, she already knows." Hunter looks worried now.

  "I explained. It's okay." She’s still watching me, unsure. I cup her face and look deep into her blue eyes.

  "Hunt, calm down. There’s nothing to worry about, she understands." More than I do. She takes a deep breath and nods. I let her go.

  "Thank you." She says.

  "For what?" I ask confused.

  "For everything. You’ve done so much for me; I owe you so much. I’m not sure I can even pay it back before I die." Oh, God don’t say that. She makes it so hard to not have feelings for her. Everything she says and does is beautiful.

  "Hunt, you don’t owe me anything. Every moment with you is precious. You don’t have to do anything for me. Just be you, Hunter. It's all I want, nothing more." I stroke her neck with my fingertips. I want to show her just how much she means because it seems like no one has ever told her or showed it before. She smiles and closes her eyes as she lays her head back down on my chest.

  "Your hand’s so soft; I think I’m going to fall asleep again if you don't stop."

  "I'm not gonna stop then," I whisper.

  "You should." She whispers back, half asleep.

  "I’ll never stop pleasing you, Hunt."

  "Hmm." Now she’s gone, I can hear by the sound of her breathing. So relaxed and calm. I think this is my favourite thing in the world right now. The feeling of Hunter's small body upon me, the way she moves and her breathing. Her warm hand holding the shirt on my shoulder. I like the feeling of her legs touching mine, even though her feet may be cold sometimes. I think it’s weird she has cold feet in the summer, but I just warm them with mine. Hunter’s perfect, in all ways. She may be kidding around sometimes, but damn it’s fun. I never thought she’d be like that at first, but I was teasing her and to my surprise, she mocked me back.

  Hunter's hold on my shirt tightens. As she drags herself up, she turns around to face me. Her forehead and nose are touching the side of my jaw. God, she’s adorable and so beautiful. I love her hair, the way you can almost see the red in the brown. I love her icy blue eyes and how they sparkle. I love the way she teases me when we play football, how she dribbles past me so easily. How she cheats by holding my shirt when I get around her. She’s amazing and annoyingly good. I close my eyes and kiss Hunter on the top of her head.

  Chapter 24

  Even Angels go through Hell

  "Hunter come on, kick it!" I yell. It’s late in the evening and we’re playing football on the beach. She takes a quick peek at me and then shoots. The ball flies long over my head and out into the water. I turn to look at Hunter upset, and she runs over to me.

  "Goddammit, Hunter. You dribble like a football star but pass like an ass." She has a bright smile on her face.

  "Calm down, Skylar. It's right there in the shallows." She points at the ball floating in the water.

  "Yeah, and it's your fault it’s right there." I mock. She runs into the water, splashing everywhere and picks up the ball. I laugh as she comes back up with her shorts soaking wet.

  "The water’s still warm, let's play in the shallows."

  "Okay," I answer, she throws me the ball and runs back into the water. I follow her out and she’s right, the water is warm. I throw the ball down, watching it float. Then I look at Hunter with a teasing smile.

  "You know I can take you easily." She says.

  "Come on then." I mock. She smirks and moves towards me. I lob the ball in between her legs and run past her taking the ball again.

  "HA-HA, smart-ass." She says.

  "Thought you said it was easy."

  "Yeah, well you kicked water in my eyes." She says while drying her face.

  "Don't be such a loser." I mock. She looks pissed off. She runs towards me, I turn around and run with the ball; it doesn't go any faster, the water slows the ball down. The feeling of water splashing on my back lets me know she’s right behind me. Then she grabs my shirt.

  "Hunter, no cheating!" She holds me back making me stop, takes the ball away and kicks it long. I follow her and do the same as she did, grabbing her shirt. I hold her tight stopping her as she turns around with a laugh, making me run into her. I fall on Hunter into the water and now we’re both soaking wet.

  "Goddammit, Hunter."

  "You said no cheating." She teases.

  "You did it first." I hit her in the arm. She splashes water on me and I push her.

  "You mocked me." She says. I turn to look at her. Hunter's hair and clothes are soaking wet, exactly like mine. There are water drops running down her cheeks. My eyes catch her gorgeous blue ones smiling. They do that a lot lately.

  "Skylar?" I shake my head coming back to reality.

  "Yeah?" I answer.

  "You’re staring at me."

  "I know," I say honestly. She looks away with red cheeks.

  "Hunter, please join the football team with me next year?" She looks at me again.

  "No." She shakes her head.

  "Why not? You’re so good, well you may need to practice passing." I tease, and she snorts.

  "No."

  "Tell me why and I’ll stop asking." She sighs.

  "Okay, um." She clears her throat. Then she itches her neck, seeming nervous or maybe uncomfortable.

  "Um, I actually hated football, until the day I saw you play. It reminds me of my older brother, Andy. We played together a lot, but when he turned eighteen he left me alone with my parents. I was only thirteen at that time and angry that he just left, but I couldn’t really blame him." She looks down at the water and starts to play in the sand with her fingers.

  "After he left things got worse," I take Hunter's hand and hold it.

  "Much, much worse. I still hear the heavy footsteps in my head. They won’t go away, Skylar. They’re always there." She freaks out. I move and cup her face.

  "It's okay, I'm here," I promise her. Tears rain down her cheeks and I wipe them away.

  "I can't make the sounds or the voices go away. The screaming, the yelling, it's killing me, Skylar." Watching her in pain makes my own tears roll down my cheeks.

  "I'm sorry, Hunter. I don’t know what to do." She looks me in the eyes, her blues shining.

  "You’ve done so much already, Skylar. You help me sleep at night, you make me feel something other than pain and you make me happy. I can play football with you without thinking about my past. It’s like you make the bad memories turn into good new ones. You changed everything, Skylar. You’ve done so much more than anyone else. Maybe after a while, all the other things will fade as well." She smiles.

  "If you stay with me that long."

  "Of course, I will, Hunter." The tears on her face are all gone now. The water is getting colder and the darkness has almost settled.

  "I promise I’ll try harder to tell you things..."

  "Hunter, you don’t need to until you’re ready. I’ll always be here and wait for you. I know you’ve been through hell, more than you should or even deserve. So, take your time." She nods with a smile. It’s weird to think even angels go through hell.

  "Can we go to bed; my feet are freezing." I laugh as I take her hand and start walking back to the house.

  Chapter 25

  More than Anything

  "Have you thought about our conversation?" Grandma asks me. Mom and dad went for a walk, and Hunter’s in the shower. It’s a beautiful morning; too bad we’re going home tonight.

  "About what?" I ask. She rolls her eyes.

  "Have you realized you’re in love with Hunter yet?" She asks impatiently, I sigh.

  "Grandma, being ‘in love’ is a little too strong perhaps."

  "So, you admit you like her a lot?" God, she’s not giving up, is she?

  "She’s my friend, that's it," I answer upset.

  "Don't lie to yourself, darling."

  "Okay, fine. You’re right, I have feelings for Hunter. I just don’t know what to do about them." I itch my neck in frustration.

  "Tell her."

  "Then what? If she doesn't feel the way I do, it’ll never be the same between us. If she feels the same, we could end up together. But what’ll happen if we fight and end things? I’ll lose her, and I don't want that."

  "Then don't lose her." I snort and roll my eyes.

  "Life’s more complicated than that, grandma. Hunter is complicated"

  "But you love her?"

  "More than anything." I feel a lump in my throat as I look down at the ground, but I hold the tears in. I didn’t mean to say that, but God I meant it. I meet her eyes, she looks at me worriedly and lays her hand on my knee.

  "I see it’s not just Hunter's head that’s spinning around," Grandma says making me snort.

  "Tell her."

  "Tell who what?" Hunter comes out the door with her hair wet, which makes it look so dark. She really knows how to arrive at the perfect time.

  "Skylar has something to tell you,"

  "Grandma!" She puts her hands up. Hunter scratches the back of her head. I’ve noticed she does that when she’s confused or unsure. There’s so much I’ve learned about her, it never stops.

  "What do you want to tell me?" Hunter asks. She looks worried. I glance at grandma who’s watching me in a way that means I must tell her. I roll my eyes and shake my head to her, then look at Hunter again.

  "There’s nothing to be afraid of, Hunter. It's nothing." I tell her.

  "And you say I’m a bad liar?" Hunter teases and grandma laughs. I facepalm myself. Oh, my God.

  "Yeah, she’s a really bad liar." Grandma agrees.

  "Hey, I’m sitting right here," I say upset.

  "And she swears a lot."

  "Goddammit Hunter, stop."

  "See." She says, pointing at me looking at grandma who’s dying of laughter.

  "You two really know how to get on each other's nerves," Grandma says and I can feel the fire in my cheeks.

  "Yeah, Hunter really knows how to push buttons." I sigh.

  "You mean your buttons." I give Hunter my death glare. She just gives me the teasing smile.

  "You just can't stop, can you?" I ask, and she shrugs.

  "You’re funny when you’re angry."

  "Okay, that’s it." I stand up and run after her. I hear grandma's laugh behind me fade as we reach the beach. I hate that she’s so fast. She runs down to the shallows where we played football yesterday. I stop to catch my breath while Hunter stands in the water, laughing.

  "How can you run after the ball when you can't even catch me?"

  "Dammit, Hunter." She laughs.

  "You should give me a dollar every time you say that."

 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26