I'll Reach For You, page 18
"You’re not, you’re just hurt. It's okay to be hurt, Hunt." I feel awful I made her think that. God, I just make things worse.
"You’re perfect Hunter, I love all of you, but sometimes you scare me." Just like she did today, it was terrifying. The look in her eyes was so dark. It felt like her eyes were on fire and she wanted to burn the whole world down. I’ve never seen her so angry. All the fury she showed has been buried inside and been there for years. Imagine walking around with all that inside of you every day. It must have really torn at her heart, and the way it burst out today, it felt like an avalanche hitting me. I didn’t expect it and I’d never have seen it coming, even though I should have. She’s Hunter goddammit, the girl I love, but also the girl who’s been through hell. That’s why it’s hard to love her because sometimes hell comes back to her.
"I'm sorry I scared you. I didn't mean to, but I couldn't stop." Her voice is so full of regret, I know she’s hurting.
"Hunt, you didn't have a chance to make it stop. You’ve been angry and hurt for so long, it was a matter of time before it came out. Like I never stood a chance, but to fall in love with you. I wanted you so bad, Hunter. I still want you badly. You may drive me insane at times, but I love you and only you." I explain to her. She needs to know that it’s not her fault she feels the way she does.
"But please Hunt, don't take it out on me? I love you but yelling at me for what happened today won't do any good. I think you should talk to your mother and at least listen to her. You may not want to, but she may give you some closure." I don't want her to walk around with a hole in her heart because of the past. Her mother had the guts to come and apologize, that's brave considering the hate Hunt has for her. Hunter should listen and talk to her, it might ease the pain. Maybe things would change for the better.
"You know I don’t want to." Now she sounds really tired and I know by the sound of her voice her eyes are closed.
"I know, but you might feel better," I tell and kiss her temple. She takes a deep breath and yawns.
"You make me feel better." She says and puts her hand on my cheek, stroking with her now warm fingers. I remember she was freezing cold when she was trying to help me catch my breath earlier.
"I’m not the answer to everything, Hunter." I know it wasn’t really what she wanted to hear, but I can't take it all away, there are things she must do even though it might hurt.
"What you’re asking for is a lot, Sky."
"I understand, but it’s not for me, it's for you," I tell her and Hunt sighs.
"I'll think about it, but if we don’t stop talking about this, I’m going back downstairs." She says as a warning. I kiss her on the temple again.
"I'll shut up," I promise her, and she snorts.
"Are you going to let me go now?" She asks curiously.
"Never," I answer and hold her tighter. I love her laying on me, she warms me and in some weird way I like having her weight on me, it makes me feel safe. I especially like her comfortable and soft body. She’s so beautiful it’s strange my eyes don't hurt when I look at her. There should be a law against being so cute and having such amazing eyes.
"Good, because I’m not moving off you," She kisses my jawline.
"Your breathing makes me so sleepy." Sounds like she’s about to pass out.
"Sorry, I hurt you today." She whispers, making me grab her shirt at her back.
"The only way you’re hurting me is when you hurt yourself, Hunter. I thought you'd know that by now." I kiss her forehead and let my lips linger there. I’m starting to feel the tiredness in my body as well, even though I’ve been sleeping most of the day, but Hunter's breathing and warmth make me sleepy.
"I'm sorry for my stupidity then." She yawns.
"No, Hunt, you’re not stupid and you’re doing it again."
"Sorry." She whispers.
"If you don’t stop, I’m going to turn us, and you’ll fall on the floor."
"You want me to sleep on the floor tonight?" I know she was joking, but sometimes I’m not sure when she uses her regular tone of voice.
"Do you want to?" I tease.
"No, I like you better."
"Dammit, Hunter," I say and kiss her on the forehead. She really knows how to turn my mood around.
"I love you." She whispers. Every time she says that it makes my stomach tingle.
"I love you too." I kiss her on the forehead as a good night.
Chapter 49
Am I not cute enough?
"Hunter, stop." I chuckle. We’re watching a movie in the living room, but Hunter’s laying on me kissing me everywhere. Her soft lips move to my cheek, lightly she turns her attention to my throat, the touch of her lips on my skin is driving me insane. I’m trying to ignore her, but my body is failing me. Then I feel her lips gently on my smooth neck, I bite my lower lip and grab her shirt in my hands.
"No." She mumbles and nibbles on my ear; it makes me shiver and I tilt my head.
"Hunti, stop." I cup her cheeks and she looks at me with that crooked smile, her eyes full of desire.
"Dammit, Hunter." I pull her towards me and kiss her. I can't say no when she looks at me like that. Hunt grabs my shirt and pulls herself further up, full of longing and need. I feel her hand move under my shirt and the feel of her warmth on my skin makes me tremble. Hunter smiles against my lips as both of her hands move to my abdomen.
"Hunti." I gasp. Her silky skin moves further up my naked, pale skin, until she reaches my chest, cupping my breast. Now we can't stop, I want her to touch all of me, every inch of my body but I want to feel her first.
"Hunti." I moan, and her lips find me again. Hunt's hands brush the skin on my chest as she drags them down under my sweatpants to hold my hips. She moves my pants further down; I push myself from her lips and stop her hands with mine. She searches my eyes looking for an answer.
"Not here." I chuckle and Hunt grins. She kisses me softly and I cup her cheeks. Her hands move under my shirt again.
"Hunt," I mumble against her lips.
"I know." She answers back, kisses me fast and moves off the couch, taking me by the hands.
"Who’s the one in a hurry now?" I tease as she drags me towards the stairs, then she stops and turns to me. Her blue eyes staring at me with that crooked smile. In some way, I feel like she’s teasing me now. Hunt's eyes are looking at me intensely with warmth and affection. She lets go of my hand and puts her hands around my waist while still gazing at me. Her eyes make me helpless and I don’t know what I’m surrendering to.
"What?" I chuckle and grab her shirt on her stomach with both my hands. She takes a deep breath but stays quiet. Then she puts her lips on my cheek and lets them linger.
"Hunt, what is it?" I ask confused. Even though she’s acting weird, it doesn't worry me.
"I love you." She whispers and kisses my cheek again. I smile and close my eyes at her touch. She’s cute and so gentle.
"I love you too, Hunt, but..."Her lips on mine interrupt me from talking.
"Hunti..." She does it again, her lips so careful with mine, it confuses me. I cup her face and push her back, slowly.
"Hunti..." She moves to kiss me again, but my hands on her face hold her back.
"What’s with you?" I chuckle.
"You said I was going too fast." She grins, and I laugh. I knew it was something weird. Goddamn, she’s so cute. I let go of her face and she kisses my cheek immediately.
"Well, maybe this is too slow." I tease and grab her shirt. She raises her eyebrow.
"You don't like it?" She grins.
"I do, you’re so cute right now." I kiss her on the temple. She looks confused.
"Am I not cute enough?" She makes me snort and I wrap my arms around her.
"You’re always cute, Hunt." I kiss her between the eyes.
"Good, because I want to give you something." She says so softly, but her eyes tell me she’s a little unsure or maybe just nervous.
"You don't have..."
"I want to." She says and kisses my cheek.
"It's in my back pocket." Her voice is trembling, and her cheeks are burning. She’s adorable.
"You want me to take it out?" I ask chuckling. She grins and nods. I move my hands back on her jeans and put both of my hands down in each pocket. My right-hand finds a chain, I kiss her cheek and drag it out of her pocket. Hunt looks very stiff right now. I hold the necklace out in front of us, then lay it in my other hand to feel its shape. It’s round with a sign in the middle, it's beautiful. The problem is I’m a little confused about what the sign means. I look at Hunt, who’s trying to suppress a laugh.
"You’re cute when you’re confused." She says and kisses me.
"You know I like books, right?" She asks, and I nod slowly, still a little confused. If there’s something Hunt really likes its books, I always see her with one in her lap.
"I know." I smile. She looks so adorable when she sits and reads.
"Well this," She points to the middle of the necklace on the sign.
"This is a rune; there are different kinds and meanings to them, but this one stands for love." Hunt's voice is shaking, and she sounds so adorable. I bite my lower lip.
"If you ever have a bad day, just know that I’ll always love you." Her voice so soft and shaky now, I feel a tear fall down my cheek. I wrap my arms around her neck.
"Dammit, Hunter." I laugh, and she puts her arms around me.
"I love you so much, Hunti," I say and move back to look at her. She’s biting her inner cheeks and her gaze is on the floor behind me.
"You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed." I tease. Then her eyes are on me, so blue and clear.
"I’ve never done this before." She’s so unsure, and it makes her so loveable. I look at the necklace again.
"Hunt, why did you give it to me today?" I ask curiously. She grins.
"You don't know?" She chuckles. I shake my head and feel a little stupid for not knowing. She takes a deep breath.
"7th of May, the day I first met you. It's the 7th of October today." She says and kisses me on the forehead. Why didn’t I remember that? I’ll never forget how she looked the day she came through the door. Her blue eyes screaming with fear, hands shaking and her voice trembling. That black big hoodie and her jeans full of holes. She looked adorable and she gave me that crooked smile and her eyes were full of warmth. It made my heart melt.
"And the day I knew I was going to like you." She whispers. I shake my head.
"I treated you awful," I say guilty and she snorts.
"Yes, you did, but I liked you anyway. You were very cute when you were upset." She teases. I close my eyes in embarrassment and feel my cheeks on fire.
"You thought I was cute right from the start?" I ask, and she nods carefully with that crooked smile.
"And beautiful." She brushes my hair behind my ear.
"You liked me right from the start?" I repeat, amazed.
"When did you fall in love with me?" I ask curiously. I want to know if she recalls since she just told me she knew she liked me from the beginning. She looks at me thoughtfully.
"I didn't really know I loved you until the day I shut you out as we travelled to your grandmas. I was angry, and I was afraid I’d hurt you." She snorts and rolls her eyes.
"Even though I did." Her eyes turn into guilt.
"It was very hard to stay away from you. I missed you, even though you weren’t far. It took a couple of hours before I fell to sleep that night. I missed your warmth, the way you move, the way you hold me when I sleep, but most of all I missed your smell." She smiles embarrassed and itches her neck.
"You smell so good." She says, and I kiss her on the forehead. I’m so glad my heart wanted this girl; how can I not love her?
"That’s when I realized I was falling for you because staying away from you is simply impossible. I'll follow you everywhere." She says with her crooked smile, her blues shining so bright. But then her eyes turn to worry, and she cups my face.
"Sky, you aren't breathing." She says concerned. I’ve totally forgotten how to breathe again. All her words have left me paralyzed. How does she do it? How does she make me so vulnerable with everything she says and does? It’s mesmerizing.
"Breathe, please." All of her begging, her voice and eyes full of worry.
"Stop doing that!" I say and hit her in the shoulder. She steps back and lets her arms fall to her side. Hunt's eyes are wide, and she itches her temple looking so confused.
"I'm sorry." She says in confusion. Now, she’s just adorable again.
"Do you even know why you’re apologizing?" I chuckle. She snorts and shakes her head.
"No, not really." She says, smiling and scratches her neck. I grab her shirt and take a step closer to her.
"Then why do you apologize?" She puts her arms around my shoulders and takes a deep breath.
"Because I did something?" She says unsure.
"Yes, you take my breath away," I say and lean into her soft lips. Her hands move into my hair and I smile at her light touch.
"I'm sorry." She mumbles against my lips.
"Don't," I whisper.
"I'm sorry." She says again and kisses my cheek.
"Stop." I chuckle.
"I'm sorry." She smiles.
"Now, you’re just annoying me."
"I'm sor..." I put my hand over her mouth and I grin.
"Skylar." She mumbles with smiling eyes. I can't help but laugh.
"Okay, you’re going to be quiet and put this on," I say and hand her the necklace. She takes it and nods. I remove my hand from her mouth; she has a big smile on her face.
"I..." My hand moves over her mouth again. She takes a deep breath and rolls her eyes.
"I was going to... move your hand, please." She mumbles and sighs. I remove my hand.
"Thank you." She says sarcastically and takes a new big breath.
"I was going to say, I love you." She chuckles.
"And turn around." She shakes her head with a smile. I kiss her cheek and do as told. Hunt puts the necklace on me, then wraps her arms around my stomach as she kisses my shoulder.
"I love you too," I tell her and kiss her on the temple.
"You do?" She says surprised.
"Stop joking." I chuckle as she kisses my neck. Her lips sending shivers through my body.
"Are we going slow or fast now?" She whispers, I turn around in her arms to look at her. Hunt peers at me with a small smile and her deep blue eyes full of warmth. She really knows how to get me, it makes me love her even more. All the things she does every day makes me love her so much. When she lays on the bed and reads, she makes so many facial expressions I start to laugh. Then she looks at me with those eyes, it makes me stop because she’s so focused on me it drives me crazy. She knows just how to make me happy, laugh, and specifically, how to make my heart want hers. I lean in and kiss her lightly.
"What about both?" I mumble against her lips. She smiles and takes my hands in hers.
"I guess that’d be fine." She answers, making me chuckle.
"You guess?" I ask as she kisses my cheek.
"You decide."
Chapter 50
I don’t want to
The sound of a knock on the door causes me to wake. I look down at Hunt, who’s laying in my arms with her cheek buried in my chest. The door opens a little and I yawn.
"Skylar?" I hear dad's voice. It’s unusual he comes in this early in the morning.
"It's Saturday, dad," I answer and kiss Hunt on the top of her head.
"I know, but I need both of you downstairs. Get dressed and come down." He says nervously. I wonder what can possibly be wrong so early in the morning.
"Fine." I sigh.
"Good." He closes the door and I take a deep breath. What can possibly be the reason to get out of bed at eleven in the morning, especially when Hunter’s sleeping so well? It so rarely happens, and I wish I could enjoy it right now. She’s always the first one up in the morning; it’s nice to wake up before her for once, even though now I must wake her. She’s so beautiful when she’s asleep, it’s almost heartbreaking to wake her. I brush the hair behind her ear, she moves and grabs my shirt by my shoulder.
"Hunter?" I whisper. She yawns then stretches out; her hands end up in my hair.
"Yeah?" She mumbles against my chest and moves her arms down, grabbing my pajama pants.
"Dad wants us downstairs," I say.
"Are you kidding?" She groans, and it makes me chuckle.
"Are you grumpy?" I ask, and she shakes her head.
"No, what time is it anyway?" She asks irritated and I burst out laughing.
"Lay still." She says sounding irritable. She’s so cute.
"It's eleven." I chuckle. She looks up at the wall confused and I take the opportunity to kiss her cheek. She turns to me and narrows her eyes with an apologizing look.
"I'm sorry." She says. I try to hold in my laugh.
"Why do..." She puts her hand over my mouth and grins.
"Are you serious?" I mumble. She laughs and moves up to kiss me on the forehead.
"I love you and I’m sorry." She says. I try to say something, but she put her other hand over me as well. She laughs.
"Why can't you let me apologize?" She asks. I mumble, trying to answer.
"Sorry," Hunt says. She removes her hands and lays them on my shoulders.
"Because I don't want you to be sorry for anything. How many times haven't I been awful to you?" I tell her, feeling a little guilty about the way I treated her when we first met.
"Don't even start." She points at me. We hear a new knock on the door.
"Yeah, we’re coming," I yell at him.
"Are we?" Hunt asks. I snort, and she chuckles.
"Yeah, come on," I say. She kisses my forehead first and walks out the door. I get dressed, go down the hallway to Hunter's room and knock on the door.
"Yes?" She says, and I step in. Hunt walks towards me as she sees me, she’s wearing a blue hoodie that matches her eyes and holey jeans, just the way I like her. She puts her hands on my waist and kisses my cheek.
