I'll Reach For You, page 4
I nod to Taylor, "Just thinking."
"Yeah, you looked lost in there." She points at my head and I snort at her.
"Fuck off, Taylor," I tell her, and she gives me a fake hurt face. I roll my eyes and the bell rings, we walk out together.
"Have you seen Brook today?" Taylor asks me. I shake my head.
"No, probably in some room with a guy," I answer, she laughs.
"Yeah, probably." We walk down the hallway and I notice Hunter at her locker.
"See you later," Taylor says, walking to her next class.
"Yeah," I answer and open my locker. I give Hunter some glances, but it seems like she’s not noticed me, so I turn and take out my books. Then I take one last look at Hunter, but now a guy’s standing next to her. Ryan’s on the football team, he’s extremely good, but a complete ass. I study Hunter, she looks small and I know she’s uncomfortable. He’s standing too close to her, I start walking towards them.
"Hunter." Her scared blue eyes reach mine, and I feel my heart in my throat. I don't like when she looks at me like that. I stop next to her.
"Can I talk to you?" She nods, and Ryan takes the hint and walks away.
"You okay?" I ask after watching him disappear around the corner. She nods and turns back to her locker. I sigh, irritated that she can just shut me out like that.
"I just helped you, and you're not even going to thank me?" She closes the locker hard.
"I didn't ask for your help." She says harshly, and it hurts because I know it’s my fault. I made her feel this way. The bell rings and Hunter turns, leaving me alone. After she’s out of my sight, I feel a void inside me. She has this effect on me that makes me feel like I’m on an emotional roller coaster. The blood in my veins is boiling. I kick the trash can making the garbage flow to the floor. I look around, glad no one saw and breathe out relieved.
✽ ✽ ✽
The sun’s shining through the window of my car. I’ve been waiting for Hunter for fifteen minutes now and my patience is starting to run out. I tap my fingers on the steering wheel and sigh. Most of the students have left, but there are still a few still standing around talking.
I give up and jump out of the car. There’s no sign of her in the parking lot, so I walk around. She might be in the bleachers or something. I turn the corner and to my surprise, she’s not in the bleachers. Hunter’s on the football field playing by herself and she’s quite talented. She kicks the ball slightly in the air then it falls. Before it can reach the ground, she kicks it hard and it goes straight into the goal. I can't stop the smile that comes to my face, it was amazing. She stands there looking at the goal and itches her neck looking upset. How can she be after that beautiful goal? I walk towards her, she hasn't noticed me yet and I sit down on the grass.
"I didn't know you played." She turns around to look at me, but her eyes move back to the goal.
"Why don't you try out for the team?" She shakes her head and sits down next to me.
"What are you doing out here?" I wonder.
"I thought maybe you’d drive home without me, so..."
"I wouldn't do that after last time. I waited for you." She looks at me, her blue eyes sparkling in the sun. She has a flat smile on her face.
"And I’m sorry I did that to you." I want her to know I feel bad about that. She just nods. I lean my head back and sigh.
"Hunter, can you please stop ignoring me?"
"I'm not..."
"Yes, you are, and it’s annoying. Every time I try to do something nice, you don’t show any sign of being grateful. It makes me angry and then I do something stupid to hurt you." I breathe out.
"You don't have to do anything for me, and you don't need to care about how I feel." She tells me. How can she beat herself up like that?
"Hunter, of course, I care. I know I’ve treated you bad and I’m really sorry. I think you’re the kindest person I’ve ever met. You took the blame for me and very few would have done that. I misjudged you." She shakes her head. She doesn't believe me.
"I’m not kind..."
"Yes, you are, stop judging yourself." She stands up and starts walking to the parking lot. I run after her.
"Hunter, stop." I grab her arm, even though I know I shouldn't. She stops but stands with her back to me and sighs. I move to stand in front of her, still holding her arm. I don't want her to leave again. She looks me deep in the eyes; they’re telling me she’s hurt, sad, but most of all she looks tired, she always does.
"Can we just go home?" She begs. How can I say no when she looks at me like that with blue pleading eyes? It makes my heart melt and I give in.
"Sure." I let go of her arm, we walk to the car and start driving home. I know I should give up trying to get her to talk to me, but I want her to. There’s just something about Hunter that draws me to her. I’m not sure if it’s annoying, because I can't get through to her, or if I like chasing her in some way. I don’t know anyone as closed off as her, and it’s interesting in a way. There’s so much I don’t know about her and I want to know. I can't force her to tell me, but I just want to know what she likes to do. Like just now, when I found her playing football. We have that in common.
"I'm sorry I push you too much," I say and look at her.
"No, it's okay." That surprised me.
"I know you try and it's nice because most people don't." It saddens me to hear people don’t even want to get to know her.
"I guess I’m not like most people then." I look at her and she has that crooked smile on her face. It warms my heart when I make her smile.
"So, in a way, it’s okay that I try?" I ask unsure and stop the car behind dad's, then look at Hunter.
"Yes, but don't expect as much as you do." I nod. Yeah, I should slow down a little.
"Can I ask you something?" She looks at me skeptically.
"Um, okay." She sounds unsure, but I’m going to ask anyway.
"When did you start playing football?" She looks caught off guard, not expecting me to ask.
"Since I could walk, I guess." She itches her neck.
"My brother took me to a small field and we played almost every day." I didn't know she had a brother.
"Where’s your brother now?" I ask as she looks down at the floor of the car. Think, Skylar.
"I just crossed the line, didn't I?" She looks at me and nods.
"But it's okay." She promises with a smile on her face. I nod and feel bad for my own stupidity.
"Well," I start and look at her again.
"Now I know more things about you than I did." She smiles, and we step out of the car and walk inside.
Chapter 14
Breaking Down
The sound of tiny feet causes me to wake. I know Hunter’s trying to be as quiet as a mouse when she’s up at night, but I can always hear her tiny feet walking down the stairs. Yeah, I’ve noticed her shoes are small, and her hands are little as well. I get out of bed and start walking down to her. Hunter sits on the couch staring into the air. I take a step towards her and she turns to look at me. I see the sweat on her forehead and her eyes are red. She looks shook up. I sit down next to her.
"You okay?" She nods, but I know she’s not telling the truth. She looks so goddamn tired and drained, it hurts to look at her. She’s struggled with sleep for a while now. Usually, I go back to bed after hearing her walking around, but sometimes I go down. Now Hunter looks worse and I’m worried.
"Hunter, you can tell me, you know?" She shakes her head and looks at me with a fake smile.
"Okay, then, you don't need to tell me," I say smiling. She laughs, and it makes me smile even brighter.
"Does dad know you walk around in the middle of the night?" I ask curiously. She breathes out.
"He knows about all of my problems, so yes." She sounds a little better, but I still see the tiredness. Then a thought comes to mind.
"You can't sleep because of nightmares, right?" She looks caught off guard, and now she’s frozen again. I facepalm myself. Why don't I think before I open my stupid mouth? She looks lost, her eyes widen, and she’s not moving.
"Hunter?" I put my hand on her back, her shirt is damp; she makes me so worried when she’s in this state. It's like she’s trapped in her thoughts and struggling to find a way out.
"Hunter?" I say her name again and take her hand. She’s so warm. I wish I could make everything in her head that’s bad just fade away. She shakes her head getting out of it.
"Sorry." She stands up and itches her neck. I stand next to her.
"No, Hunter, it's my fault. I should have kept my mouth shut." She shakes her head at my words.
"No, you're right, I can't sleep." Now she looks, and sounds upset.
"I can't sleep, because I dream. I dream about stuff that I can’t get out of my head," I watch her talking, and the look in her eyes screams of pain. Tears are streaming down her cheeks.
"They just won't go away. I don’t know how to make them go away." Without thinking, which I always do, I wrap my arms around her holding her tight and bury my face in her shoulder. I breathe her in and smell her wonderful scent. I know she doesn't like to be touched, but I know she needs it right now.
"I-I," She says, struggling to breathe.
"It's okay, Hunter." Then she put her arms around me as well and I feel the warmth of her arms through my shirt. Her face is hidden between my shoulder and neck, as she tries to get herself together. I can feel her tears through my shirt, but I don’t care. Her arms tighten around me.
"I'm sorry." She says.
"It's okay," I promise her.
"No, it's not. I can't sleep, and I’m so tired." She admits to me and it hurts my heart to know she’s struggling.
"Let's watch a movie, last time we did, and you slept." She moves out of my arms looking at me with her wet face. She dries the tears away and nods. I smile.
✽ ✽ ✽
We decided to watch her favourite movie. To my surprise, I really enjoyed it. Hunter fell asleep with her head on my shoulder after an hour. The movie just ended, and I reach for the remote at the edge of the couch. It caused Hunter to fall into my lap, strangely enough, she didn't wake. I breathe out in relief. She moves her hand and lays it on my thigh, sending chills through my body. I’m only wearing shorts and her warm hand on my skin gives me weird feelings in my stomach.
I’m so glad she fell asleep; she looks so upset and frustrated when she cries. It was like she wanted to give up, she kind of did when she broke down in front of me. She felt so vulnerable and embarrassed, but it made me feel more drawn to her. I want to help and make her suffering go away, even though I don’t know how. I finally got her to sleep, which is a small victory and progress. I lean my head back and close my eyes. The sound of Hunter's breathing causing me to drift off to sleep.
Chapter 15
Come with Me
The feeling of something warm and soft touching my stomach causes me to wake. I open my eyes, seeing the darkness outside. It looks like it must be early in the morning. I realize Hunter’s laying on me like I did on her the last time we fell asleep on the sofa. But Hunter's hand managed to get under my shirt and onto my skin. Her hand is so warm and soft. She’s cuddled and lying curled up on me. Even though it’s Saturday, we still should get up before mom and dad come down, but I really don’t want to wake her. She looks so adorable with her hair messed up on both of us. I like the sound of her breathing and the way she moves. I brush the hair away from her face.
"Hunter?" I say her name, no response. I try again.
"Hunter?"
"Hmm?" She mumbles, it sounds so cute and makes me smile.
"We need to move," I tell her.
"No." She says and turns her head around to the other side. Her hand under my shirt moves a few inches on my stomach, enough to send a shiver through my body. I’m not sure if she thinks this is a dream or not, but I need to get her up to bed before dad and mom get up. I shake her and call her name again.
"Hunter, get up." I chuckle. She moves her head laying straightforward on me and opens her eyes, slowly. Her eyes widen, and I know. So, before anything can happen, I cup her face in my hands and whisper.
"It's okay." Her tired eyes are staring into my mine and there’s a hint of shock, maybe she’s good at hiding it, or I calmed her down. I hope it’s the second one.
"Hunter, it's just me, okay?" She nods. I let her go and she sits up. I study her and see by the look on her face she’s beating herself up inside. When she does, she has this frozen look in her eyes as she stares into thin air. It scares me when she has that look in her eyes because I can't read her thoughts. I don't know what’s going on in her head.
"What are you thinking?" I ask and sit up next to her.
"Nothing." She answers and yawns.
"I think we should go upstairs and get some more sleep," I tell her.
"You can go. I’m probably not going to fall asleep again. Even if I do, I’m going to wake up not long after." I take her hands in mine. She looks down at them and then up to me. Her blue eyes filled with sadness.
"I think I know what the problem is," I tell her, now she really looks confused. After thinking about it a while, I don’t think watching a movie is why Hunter fell asleep. I believe she feels exposed and unsafe when she’s alone. Since we’ve been sleeping on the couch, she seems just fine and searched for me when she slept. Both times, we’ve ended up with each other. I think she’s just scared and lonely.
"Come with me." I stand up with her hand in mine. She follows me up the stairs as I lead her into my room.
"What are you doing?" She asks, looking skeptical.
"I think the reason you have these nightmares is whatever happened to you occurred during the night," she looks down at the floor, appearing more vulnerable than ever.
"I think you need to feel safe when you sleep because you’re afraid it’ll happen again. I don’t know what happened to you Hunter, but I want to help you to get some of the pain to fade. I think we can start with sleeping," She looks at me thoughtful now, processing all of this.
"If that’s okay with you? I’ve noticed you sleep when I’m next to you." I know touching can be a problem, but it seems like it’s eased a little around me. I’ve been holding her hand for a while now and she hasn't protested but looks unsure.
"You don't have to Hunter, but to me, it seems like the best solution for you to get some sleep. I know you’re dying for it." After she broke down in front of me, it really hurt. It was like I could feel all her pain in my bones. She looks at me like she can't decide.
"Skylar, I’m not sure. I can be very restless, and I can hurt you if I..."
"No, you won't. Hunter, you were so peaceful when you slept with me." I see her cheeks redden, and it’s adorable. I can't prevent the smile from coming to my face and I think I blushed as well. It may have sounded weird the way I said it, but there’s no other way to describe it. She uses her free hand to rub her eye, she’s blinking her eyes more than she should.
"Do I have to beg? It’s kind of painful to watch you like this." She looks at me like I just told her my biggest secret. Her eyes focused on me like I’m the only person in the world. Then finally, she nods. I feel the victory within making me smile.
"Okay, good," I tell her. I walk with her hand in mine to the bed. Since my bed is against a wall, I lay down first, she lies beside me, and I pull the duvet over both of us. Her eyes are glued to me and she looks like she’s about to pass out. She’s so drained it’s scary, but I hope this is going to work.
"Now you're the one staring," I say, she looks down with her cheeks burning red.
"Sorry." There’s a hint of laughter in her voice.
"It's okay." I chuckle. She looks at me again.
"I can't keep my eyes open." She says. I know she’s about to fall asleep again, I can hear it in her voice and breathing.
"It's okay, Hunter," I promise her. After a while, she falls asleep and I’m glad. She deserves it so much. I don't know what her nightmares are about, but considering how she reacted to my words, whatever happened to her was in the night. To be honest, I’m not sure if I want to know what happened to cause her nightmares. It must have been awful since she’s struggling to sleep. The sound of Hunter's breathing is relaxing to listen to and now my eyes are hard to keep open, so I give in and close them.
✽ ✽ ✽
I open my eyes finding myself buried in Hunter's neck, she’s laying with her back to me. My hand is on her stomach and she’s so warm and soft. I never thought waking up next to someone would feel so wonderful. The clock on the wall says it’s twelve in the morning. Mom and dad must already be awake.
"Hunter," I whisper. Her breathing tells me she didn’t hear me, she’s sleeping deeply.
"Hunter," I say her name louder. Instead of waking up, she moves putting her arm around me and her face is close to mine. I study her and see a small scar over her left eyebrow; it seems old since it’s faded. "Hunter," I say her name much louder this time. She opens her eyes quickly and they widen when she sees me so close. She shuffles backwards, falling on the floor. I burst out in laughter and move to the edge of the bed watching Hunter rub her temples.
"You-you okay?" I ask. I’m laughing so hard my stomach hurts, and I can't breathe. She moves to sit on her knees and I see her red cheeks. I calm myself and wipe the happy tears away from my eyes.
"Yeah, you just scared me." She admits.
"Sorry, but it was a little funny." And adorable. That’s something she doesn't need to know. The sound of plates clinking downstairs cause us to stand.
"We should probably change and go downstairs." Hunter agrees with a nod.
"See you later then." She says and starts walking out.
"Yeah," I answer, and she’s gone.
Chapter 16
You’re so dead, Hunter
"Skylar!" I turn to find Taylor walking towards me with a grin.
"What?" I ask.
