I'll Reach For You, page 21
"I love you."
Chapter 57
Maybe that is the Problem
"Skyl... Great." I wake up to dad's voice and his arms hitting his side, but I keep pretending I’m sleeping. It wouldn’t take long before I would anyway. Then I hear more footsteps coming in the door.
"I hope you’re going to wake her because I’m not." I hear dad whisper harshly. Poor dad, all the things I’ve made him go through. Maybe I should just give in, I can't let him take all my blame, then I hear him breathe out.
"She hasn't slept or eaten properly since Hunter left," Now he sounds calmer, but begging.
"I’ve tried everything Mia, but nothing helps. I’ve never seen her so bad before. The way she begged and pleaded for Hunter back, it ached more than anything I’ve ever experienced. It was like Hunter took her heart and soul when she left, I didn't recognize my own daughter." His voice broke at the end along with my heart. I feel horrible for making him go through this, I’m the one to blame. I didn’t mean to drag him and mom down into my hole. They don’t deserve this.
"I lost my daughter and I want her back." He pleads. I can barely keep my tears away but clinging onto Hunt seems to be holding me together. Then I hear the woman breathe out in surrender.
"It's completely fi..."
"You can't be serious?" I hear Liam say upset, interrupting his own mother.
"I can wake her, no problem." I hear him walk towards the bed and feel the panic rise in my chest.
"Don't you touch her!" My dad sounds angry. The next thing I know, Liam drags me off the bed and I fight to get out of his grip.
"Let me go!" I yell, crying and begging, reaching for Hunter.
"Hey!" Dad yells and drags Liam away from me. I watch dad push him in the shoulders.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" He shouts at him. I turn around to look at my sleeping Hunter; I’m so tired, I could just lay on the floor and pass out. Now my head really aches, but I ignore it as I move back to Hunter. I take her hand and kiss it again.
"I’m so sorry." I cry. I know she can't hear me, but I just want to talk to her. I haven't done that, except on the phone but it’s not the same. I sit down on the edge of the bed and look at dad and Mia. Liam must have walked out in the hallway with Logan. I dry my sore eyes and then look back at dad.
"I'm sorry." I burst out in tears. I’m so messed up right now, in some way I wish I was the one lying in that bed instead of Hunter. I could just sleep all the pain away and wake up to Hunt's smile and blue eyes.
"No, honey." Dad moves over to me and takes my hands in his.
"This isn’t..."
"Yes, it is." I cut him off. Goddammit, I’m turning into Hunter, I feel so guilty I put all the blame on myself. Hunter knew how to do that, and I couldn't understand how. Now I know, because right now it’s so easy to blame myself than others. The guilt is tearing me apart, just as a lion does to a gazelle.
"No, you didn't do anything." He says, looking into my eyes.
"Maybe that’s the problem," I tell him and look down. I want to do everything and be here for her. The last thing I want is to see her like this, but still, here we are. I turn to look at her; she’s so close, but so far away.
"Skylar, listen to me. She’s going to be fine and we’re going to wait until she wakes up. Then I’ll see what I can do after that, okay?" He looks so sorry for me. I turn my eyes back to Hunt and nod.
"Good, I need to fix some things. I’ll be back after I finish all of it, okay?" I nod again. Then I watch him move away and my eyes land on Mia, who looks down at the floor.
"I’ll see you later," Dad says and Mia follows him out the door. I lay back down next to Hunter, just like I did minutes ago and smile at the smell. The only thing missing now is her soul. I want to hear her tired voice and teasing. Then I want to see that smile on her face and those gorgeous blue eyes that look straight through me. I want her back.
"Please come back," I whisper and bury my face harder into her.
"I'll do anything," I beg.
chapter 58
I am the lucky One
The sound of footsteps and shuffling wakes me up. I open my eyes carefully and see a light-haired woman, probably in her late twenties, working on the other side of the bed. I’m not sure if I should move or not. My eyes turn to the window. It’s still snowing, but clear as day.
"What times is it?" I ask and causing the women in white to jump and put her hand over her heart.
"I'm sorry," I tell her and rub my eyes. I don’t think I’ve apologized so much in my entire life since Hunter left.
"It's okay." The woman says with a smile and looks at the watch on her arm.
"It's one." She answers. I smile at her as a thank you. Then I look down at myself finding a blanket over me. I guess dad must’ve dropped in while I was asleep. I’ve been sleeping for hours.
"You really made a scene when you came in here yesterday." She sounds a little amused. I didn't really mean to make a spectacle.
"I'm sorry," I tell her again, I can't seem to stop.
"Don't be, it must have been terrible to see her laying here." I just nod and look at Hunter who’s still sleeping. She looks the same as yesterday, gone from this world.
"How long have you been together?" I look at her confused.
"I don’t believe you’re her sister." She chuckles, and I snort. Then I sit up in the bed looking around the white room.
"Umm, we first met 7th of May and I told her I loved her in late June. It’s the fifteenth of December today." I count in my head and look at the woman with wide eyes.
"It has almost been a half a year." I turn and look down at Hunter.
"Twenty-seven of June I told her." The day I poured my heart out to her. I still remember she told me I couldn't love her because she was a complete mess. She’s not a mess, she’s perfect, and she always will be. I smile and turn to look at the woman and glimpse at her name tag. Amber Hudson.
"She’s lucky to have you." She says, smiling and walks towards the door.
"No," I say and make her stop at the door and turn around. She looks at me confused.
"I am the lucky one."
After an hour, I hear dad coming in the door and sit up in the bed to look at him. He has a backpack with him and gives me a light, but kind smile.
"Hi," he says and sits down in the chair next to me. I’ve been lying next to Hunter sleeping on and off.
"Have you eaten?" He asks. I just look at him and he sighs.
"I knew." He says with a flat smile and takes out a baguette.
"It’s ham and cheese," Dad gives it to me and I accept.
"I know you’re picky." He grins. I take the plastic off and start eating, tasting each flavor.
"You know she’s not going anywhere, you can easily just go down the hall and find something to eat." He says in despair and sighs. I know he’s worried, I wish he wasn't. I take the last bite and smile at him.
"Happy?" I grin, and he nods.
"I talked to the doctor before I came in, there’s nothing new. Her condition is the same." He puts his hand on my knee.
"She’ll wake up, just be patient," Dad says and pats my knee.
"I’m glad you finally got to sleep, you were gone when I left. I came in at ten this morning and you were still sleeping. I almost want to thank you." He laughs and so do I.
"Dad?"
"Yeah?" He answers, smiling.
"What happens if she doesn't wake up before Christmas?" He looks taken aback and rubs his forehead.
"God, I haven't even thought about that. Well, I guess you’ll want to stay." I nod.
"I can't leave you here alone, that's for sure. I don’t trust that boy Liam and you’re not going to eat if I’m not here." He makes me shrink.
"I'll talk to mum and see what we can do, she’s the one with all the answers. Remember?" He says and hits me in the arm and I chuckle.
"I talked to Mia and John, they are, of course, going to let you stay. But they’re going to come and check on her every day." I nod and give him a small smile. I don’t want to see Liam again after he tried to drag me out of the room. He held me so tightly I could barely breathe. Holding me away from Hunter caused me to panic. Because when I reached for her hand and couldn't grab it, watching her laying there as I moved further and further away, ached. I’ve waited to see and be with her, then someone just drags me away from her not long after? I wanted to hit him so badly but studying Hunter on the bed made me change my mind, she always does.
"I don’t really know when during the day they’re coming but behave at least." He says, and I roll my eyes.
"I'll go talk to mom about Christmas, then come back later." I nod, and he kisses me on the top of my head and walks out the door. I lay back down on the bed and kiss Hunter’s arm. Sleeping next to her makes the time pass and I can catch up on all the hours I’ve missed. Either way, there’s nothing else I’d rather do than be right here with her.
chapter 59
With Hunter
The sound of whispers causes me to wake.
"Liam, be quiet." I hear a deeper voice say. I assume that’s John, his father. Since Liam’s here, I don’t want to turn around to look at them.
"When’s Hunter going to wake up?" I hear a young boy whisper, it must be Logan.
"Soon," John answers more calm and warm. I wish John was here when I arrived, he’d probably have handled Liam better than his mother.
"Everything seems like the day before. We should go home to mom and your sister for dinner." I hear him say and they disappeared out the door. I listen to the sound of their footsteps fading away from the hallway.
I open my eyes and look out the window. It's dark, but the city lights allow me to see that it’s still snowing. It looks so beautiful, I wish Hunt could see it.
I move off the bed and go into the bathroom. Then I look at the time on my phone and note it’s six in the evening.
My stomach is screaming for something to eat. I should get some food, but I’m sure dad will come soon enough. Still, I step into the hallway looking around before I start walking. It’s so quiet and empty until I see a blond-haired woman walk out a door. I smile as Amber sees me and waves.
"You’re awake this time." She says while walking over. I shrug with a grin.
"Sometimes I wish I wasn't," I answer, and she snorts.
"Then we’re two," Amber tells me and walks in the door. I watch her working but then decide to take a walk.
After a few moments, I end up outside in the cold evening. The air makes me wake up and the sound of cars feels nice to my ears. The lights coming from the city look so amazing with the snow falling onto the pavement. Right now, I wish I could be home in the yard having a snow fight with Hunter. That would’ve been so much fun. But instead, I’m standing outside a hospital where Hunt is laying in a bed unconscious and I don’t know when she’s going to wake up.
I have this weird hope that she’ll wake up before Christmas and come home in time to celebrate with us. I know it’s not going to happen, but that’s what I want as a present for Christmas. I take a step outside and feel the freezing snowfall on me lightly and quietly. Then I look up at the dark sky, watching it all fall slowly. It's so beautiful.
"Skylar?" I hear dad say. I look back down and watch him approach me with a smile.
"Nice to see you on your feet." He says, joking and I snort.
"Yeah, well Amber was doing some tests on Hunter, so I let her work alone," I tell him, and he looks a little lost.
"Amber?" He asks.
"Yeah, I met her during the morning shift," I answer, and he smiles. But then he looks at me with narrowed eyes.
"Have you eaten since I left?" I should’ve known.
"No, I just woke up and figured you’d be on your way." He nods to my words.
"Well, this is progress. You slept and now you’re out stretching your legs, it's very good." He smiles brightly, I feel my heartwarming.
"I brought enough food for a couple of days, so you don’t need to wait for me all the time. I know you’re not going to buy anything." I nod and warm my hands. The cold is starting to seep through Hunt's sweater. I didn’t bother to bring my jacket not knowing I’d end up out here in the snow.
"Let's get inside, you eat, and I’ll see if there’s anything new with Hunter’s condition." I follow him inside and he hands me the backpack. Then I walk back to Hunter while dad talks to some doctor. Amber has left, and Hunt’s still sleeping. I sit down in the chair next to the bed and open the backpack. Inside there’s a bottle of water and a soda, some sandwiches and baguettes. I’m so grateful for dad. He comes in the door and sighs.
"There’s nothing new, but I guess there won’t be anything until she wakes up." I move to sit on the bed, so he can take the chair and he does.
"Thank you," I tell him and take out a sandwich. He smiles.
"I’m just glad you’re actually eating like a normal person." He chuckles, and I roll my eyes.
"I talked to mom, she said she’ll come here on Friday and take two weeks off to stay here with us." He smiles so brightly it touches me. I’m so glad she’ll be here too.
"And," he grins like he’s about to expose a big secret.
"We’ve decided not to celebrate Christmas until we come back home," My heart beats so fast now and I look down at Hunt.
"With Hunter." He says. I turn to look at him with wide eyes and throw my arms around his neck.
"Thank you." I cry, holding onto him so tightly I’m afraid of strangling him. Then I let him go and wipe the tears away from my eyes.
"It’d be you, Hunter, mom and me. Like it should be." He smiles. I can't feel anything but relief and happiness right now. I wanted to have Hunter home for Christmas, but I guess Christmas can just wait for Hunter.
"I love you, dad." He looks at me with a surprised smile.
"It's been a long time since you said that. I love you too, honey."
chapter 60
Just that little look of hers stole my Heart
It’s Thursday night and dad left a little while ago after checking in on Hunter and me. He said there’s nothing new and that mom’s looking forward to seeing us again. She’s missing us and can't wait to see Hunter again.
I move out of bed, turn off the lights and then lay back down next to Hunt. It’s nice here in the evening because of the snow outside. There’s just something about watching snow that calms me down and makes me sleepy. Mia, John and Logan dropped by today, this time I was awake. John’s a tall man with black hair, just like both of his sons. He was calmer than his boy Liam and had a kind smile on his face. I was just glad Liam wasn't here, I don’t think I could’ve handled him.
My dad complained I was very grumpy today. I’m not sure why I’m so upset. Well, except Hunter didn't wake up today either, but anyway, I don’t know why. Dad thought it had something to do with me missing Hunter.
I didn’t really understand what he meant because I’ve missed her ever since she left. Then he explained that being near her, without her talking or interacting might drive me insane. That might be the reason. It is very frustrating lying beside her without her moving or talking. I really miss her sleeping on me and the way I could hold her. There’s so much I miss about her and I want it all back.
I give up trying to sleep, so I kiss hunter on the blue-red cheek and move off the bed. Then I move my naked feet towards the window and look down at the cars driving in the snow. I think it’s getting colder and colder with each day and the snow is still falling.
The sound of someone talking in the hall makes me turn and walk towards the door to peek out. I find Amber with a little blond boy, probably around six years old. It might be her son since they have the same hair color. I step out the door and Amber eyes fall on me. I smile at her then move down to them.
"Hi, I'm sorry if we woke you," Amber says, looking apologetic. I shake my head.
"No, you didn't." I smile at her and look down at the boy next to her. I sit down on my knees in front of him.
"And who’s this handsome guy?" I ask grinning.
"Jacob." He answers confident and I chuckle.
"You’re not shy at all, are you?" I ask and Amber laughs.
"No, that’s the last thing he is." She says, taking him into a side hug. I look at Jacob who has the same blue eyes as Hunter.
"I remember the first time I met Hunter, my girlfriend. She was the shyest person I’ve ever met. She was so shy it was painful for her. Then she looked at me with her amazing blue eyes, just like the ones you have." I point at him and he smiles.
"Her blue, deep eyes and that crooked smile, just that little look of hers stole my heart." I put my finger on his chest and poke him.
"So, be careful who you look at with those," I tell him and wink my eye. He closes his eyes and Amber and I laugh.
"Are they magical?" He whispers to me and opens his eyes carefully.
"When you met the right one, they will be," I tell him and stand up. My eyes drift to Amber, who looks at me with a warm smile.
"She’ll wake up, just wait for her." She tells me with a little hint of worry in her voice. Her words make me smile and I look down at the floor. How many times have I said that already? My eyes drift back up to Amber.
"I will always wait for her," I tell her.
Then we say goodnight and I walk back into the dark room, the lights from outside allow me to see Hunt’s still sleeping. I yawn and rub my eyes. It felt good to talk about Hunter, just like dad and I did in the cab on our way here. All those memories make me smile so much and fill my heart with so much warmth, it makes me look forward to making many new ones.
I yawn again and take the hint. I step towards the bed and lay down lightly next to her. Just like all the other times I have done it, I move the blanket over me, then lay my arm around her, over the duvet and bury my face in her shoulder.
All this yawning reminds me of the day I fell asleep in Hunter's room, sitting next to her in the middle of the night on the floor. It was when I scared her, and she couldn't look at me. Then after I woke up, all hell broke loose, we were fighting, and I was angry with her for days. To be honest, I don’t think I was angry with her, just a little irritated about not letting me in.
