I'll Reach For You, page 20
"Dad, please just stop, there’s nothing you can do or say to make me feel better. I lost her, and it kills me every day. In a way I feel like I let her down, I promised I would always reach for her. I guess I lied." I say feeling guilty. I get off the couch and start walking upstairs.
"It's not your fault, Skylar," Dad says. I stop and turn around to look at him angrily.
"Then why do I hate myself so much?" I yell crying. He gets up from the couch, his face full of worry.
"Skylar." He says my name and pulls me into an embrace.
"You didn't do anything wrong. This wasn’t something I wanted to happen even though I knew it would, but she had a choice. She got two bad options and had to choose one of them. It's my fault Skylar and I’m trying hard to fix it. I’m so sorry." He says, holding me tighter. It feels nice getting a hug from dad, but I’d give anything to get one from Hunter.
"Hunt misses you two too, by the way," I tell him.
"That's good, she hasn't forgotten us yet." He chuckles and moves back to look at me.
"I don't think she’ll ever do that." I smile at him.
Chapter 54
I am not Heartless
Dad just called me to come home right now from school, I don't know why, but he sounded short and out of breath. I guess something bad happened, or maybe he found out I got kicked off the football team a couple of weeks ago. I don't know if he knows, and I don’t care anyway. I guess that’s not a good reason to force me home from school. I stop the car behind dad's and go in the front door. Dad’s pacing back and forth in the middle of the living room, he looks worried and restless.
"I'm sorry I got kicked off the football team," I tell him, and he turns around to me confused.
"You got kicked... never mind." He says and walks over to me. He looks so scared that it’s freaking me out. What can possibly be so important he just threw away my confession of not being on the team anymore or getting me home right after school? Something bad must have happened since he’s acting like this.
"Is mom okay?" I ask scared, feeling the panic in my chest.
"Yes, yes, she’s fine. Come here." He says, and I sit down on the couch with him. There’s something very wrong because I’ve never seen him looking at me like this before. His brown eyes are full of fear, and his hands are shaking and so restless he can't keep them still.
"Dad, you’re scaring me." He looks at me and takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself down; I wish he would’ve done that before I came in the goddamn door because now my hands are trembling.
"Did something happen to grandma?" I ask and feel my heart beating rapidly in my chest.
"No, there’s nothing wrong with grandma."
"Then what is it?" I yell, totally freaking out. He looks at me with sad eyes, then takes my hands in his and looks down at them.
"Dad?" I say calmer, but still afraid and worried. I have no clue what’s wrong or what’s happened. Just the way he’s acting is driving me insane.
"It's... Hunter." I stare at him. He can't even look at me and I understand because I can't move or breathe anymore. Just like the time Hunt told me she loved me, but this is something completely different. I haven't seen Hunter for over a month and now something happens to her, how’s that even possible? I try not to think the worst, but how can I not when he won't even look at me or calm down.
"Wha-What happened?" I tremble, too scared to know what it is, but I must. He looks at me with unsure eyes and takes a deep breath, then looks around the room as if he’s looking for an answer. After a little while, his eyes fall on me again, I’m getting impatient.
"Hunter," He takes a deep breath again and looks at me knowing the words he’s about to speak are going to break my heart much more than it already is.
"She was in a car accident last night. It was very slippery because of the snow and another car hit their car on her side. Hunter’s badly hurt, but the driver, Liam, just got a few bruises." My eyes are glued to my dad, it's like I’ve lost all control of my body. I can't feel anything except the pain in my chest that just got a whole lot bigger. I can't move a muscle and I can't breathe. I’m so paralyzed you’d have mistaken me for dead, but of course, that little thing in my chest just keeps on beating.
"She’ll be fine Skylar, but she hit her head really hard and probably won’t wake up for..."
"Stop!" I yell. I can't handle this, tears are raining down my cheeks. I wipe them away with both of my palms. I thought it was weird she didn't pick up the phone yesterday, she always does or at least sends me a message. Like my heart wasn't already torn apart, now the girl I love isn’t just miles away, she’s miles away in the hospital and I’m not with her. I can't just sit here knowing she’s there. The day she left was the worst day of my life, but this much worse. I can't stay here, I need to be with her even if she’s not awake. It’s better to be next to her than not.
"Hunter’s going to be fine, Skylar." He smiles weakly at me, then looks at his watch.
"You have about thirty minutes to pack." He says with a warm smile. I gawk at him with widened wet eyes.
"Wha-what?" I ask confused.
"I may be an idiot for letting her go, but I am not heartless, Skylar. Get your ass in the air!"
He jumps off the couch.
"Come on, the plane leaves in two hours." He says, perking me up. I jump off the couch and rush up the stairs, grab a bag out of the closet and start packing; I’m already wearing Hunt's blue sweater and of course, I’m taking the black one with me as well. I place the rest of my clothes in the bag and run down the stairs. Dad looks at me with his bag over his shoulder and a smile on his face.
"Ready?" He asks and takes the keys out of his pocket. I nod to him with a smile as well.
"What about mom?" I ask.
"She has to take care of her hospital and keep the house warm. I hate this house during winter, it’s always so cold." He says shaking, and I laugh.
"Okay," I answer him.
"Let's go." He says. We move out, putting the bags in the backseat, step into the car and dad glances at me.
"I’m really sorry about Hunter and everything. I should’ve done something more to prevent what happened to her yesterday." He says regretfully.
“Dad, what happened to her isn’t your fault. You said she’ll be fine and she will." I smile at him, he snorts.
"Yeah, there isn't anyone stronger than Hunter." He chuckles as does I because he’s right. Hunter’s the strongest person I’ve ever met. She’s been through hell and still manages to stand on her feet.
"You're right. There is no one like her." I smile at him and he smiles back with a laugh and starts the car.
Chapter 55
Now I sound like a bad Parent
Dad and I are currently sitting in a cab on our way to the hospital. Both of my legs are shaking and have been since we left the house. They’re probably going to ache afterwards, but I don’t care. Hunter said there was a lot of snow here and she was right. The streets are drowning in white and the sky is pouring down more cold snowflakes. The snow plows are fighting with all the horsepower they have under their hood to clear the roads. I jump as I feel dad's hand on my knee.
"Skylar, calm down." He says chuckling.
"She’s going to be fine." He takes his hand from my leg. I know she’s going to be fine, guess I’m just nervous to see her laying in that bed, wounded and unconscious.
"When’s she going to wake up?" I ask. I thought about it on the plane but was too afraid to ask. Dad takes a long, deep breath. He appears thoughtful and unsure.
"To be honest, I’m not sure. It can take days or weeks." He finally answers, and I look at him scared.
"How long are we staying here?" I ask shakily. I’m afraid I won’t be here when she wakes up. I really want to see her smile and hear her voice. All the things that make my heart smile.
"I booked the hotel for a week," I close my eyes with disappointment.
"But I know if she doesn't wake up by then, you’re not going home without one hell of a fight. So, I’m going to book another week if she doesn't." I open my eyes with a smile on my face.
"And since I know you so well, you’re probably not going to be at the hotel at all, am I right?" He raises his eyebrow and it makes me snort. Of course, I’m going to stay with her; I really want to see her wake up. I want to see those blue eyes and that crooked smile; I haven't seen it for over a month. Goddamn, I miss it so much I’m aching for it.
"I’m going to be here all the time," I answer and look out the window. I don't want him to see the pain in my eyes. Honestly, I have no idea how I’ll react, and I’m afraid I can't control my emotions.
"Just remember to eat and sleep, okay? You haven't been really good at that and it scares me." He says worriedly. Poor dad’s been struggling with the damn food and me. I haven't managed to eat properly; the food just won't go down. Sleep has been a nightmare, I’m having more headaches than usual and sometimes my eyes sting so much they water on their own. I nod to dad.
"Yeah, I'll try," I answer honestly. I can't promise him anything, but I’ll try to remember.
"I’ll check on you, every day." He points at me and I roll my eyes with a smile. Then his facial expression turns serious.
"If you can't do those things for yourself, then do them for Hunter. I think the last thing you want to give her is worry the first day she sees you." I nod at his words. Hunter sees everything, and the last person she thinks about is herself, that’s one of the reasons I’m so scared for her. She’s so kind and selfless, she doesn’t care what happens to her if everyone around her is happy. It’s very cute, but I’m not sure how far she’ll go sometimes. She can end up hurting herself or others will hurt her. Hunt’s so kind that if she ever walked into a door, she’d apologize to it. I snort at the thought.
"Do you remember the time Hunter dropped her book on the floor and she studied it with wide eyes for the longest time?" I ask chuckling. Dad bursts out in laughter.
"Yeah, she looked so worried and guilty, like she just dropped a baby on the floor." We laugh together.
"I thought she was going to cry when she reached down for it," I say and wipe the tears from my eyes.
"I think she loves her books as much as she loves you." Dad jokes and I hit him on the arm.
"Yeah, she can be really funny sometimes. It took a little while before she’d let her guard down, but once she did, she really put a smile on our faces." Dad says, and I can't stop smiling about those memories.
"I still can't forget the face she made when you pulled her down with you to the floor, then you ran after and crashed into her. Her eyes were so wide with the knowledge that it was going to hell and she was going to fall with you." He laughs.
"The biggest impact she has on you is the way she makes you calm, you could barely control your anger before you met her. Then, of course, we have that smile on your face." He looks at me thinking and I smile.
"You’ve been amazing with her, so patient. You were the last person I’d have ever thought would wait for her. Now, I sound like a bad parent." He laughs and so do I, but I agree with him.
"No dad, you’re right, I should have been the last person to ever, even like her. She has so many good qualities about her that I simply love." I tell him, smiling at all the things are Hunter. Her heart and soul are so beautiful. She may not think so and I don’t like when she looks down on herself. Hunt’s amazing, and I hope someday she’ll see that. Although she has gotten better I must admit.
"I’m glad I brought her home with me. The house has been so interesting since she came." He chuckles. He’s right, it’s been so much fun with her and she took the loneliness I had inside of me away. But when she left, she took everything with her, my joy in life was gone. Now, I’m about to see her again, but not in the way I want.
Chapter 56
This is quite the hell you’re dragging me Through
The cab driver stops in front of the hospital and I bolt out the door.
"Skylar!" I hear dad yell behind me, but I keep running. I want to see her so much I can't wait.
"Skylar, you can't..." I run in the door, leaving dad outside. I stop in front of a big, dark woman sitting behind a computer.
"What can I do for you?" She smiles. I try to say something, but I’m out of breath. God, I’m out of shape, I should really eat and sleep more. I shake my head and take a big breath.
"Hunter Bennett?" I say and take a new inhale of air. She types on the computer; I lean my arms on the counter and manage to get my breath back. If Hunt had seen me now she’d mocked me to death.
"And you are?" She asks, and I look at her.
"Skylar Mason?" I tell her confused.
"Just tell me where she is," I beg. She looks at me for a minute with her dark eyes swallowing me.
“Only family is allowed, miss and her family is still in there,” She says deep and clear.
“They are not her family!” I shout accidently at the woman. She raise her eyebrow offended.
“I’m sorry,” I sigh.
“Hunter is my girlfriend and I love her so much, so please help me.” I plead, I could even go down on my knees to make her tell me where Hunter is.
"You see that door?" She points at the door to my right and I nod.
"The fifth door on the left." She tells me, and I run to the door counting all the doors to my left. I stop at the fourth door, looking at a boy with a wound on his eyebrow and a cracked lip. I guess it must be Liam, and next to him is an older woman, probably his mother. There’s a young boy sitting right beside her that must be Logan. Liam has black messy hair and looks very tall and strong. Logan has the same dark hair, but their mother has brown hair.
"Skylar!" I hear dad again and I start running towards Hunt's door in a panic. I open it, but before I can peek in, I feel strong hands on both of my arms, holding me back.
"Let me go!" I yell and try to twist out of the grip on my arms.
"You can't go in there." I hear a deep voice say angrily. I slip out of his hands and stumble in the door, finding Hunter laying in a bed with a bandage around the top of her head and a bad blue-red bruise on her right cheek.
"Skylar!" I hear dad come in behind me. I feel nothing but pain and sadness right now, then my legs weaken, and I fall. Dad grabs my jacket before I go down on my knees, pulling me back into his arms.
"It's okay." He whispers in my ear.
"She’s going to be okay," Dad promises me. I feel like I’m choking on my own words, I can't say anything. Looking at Hunter hurts more than anything like someone just ripped my heart right out of my chest. I thought the scars on her back were bad but watching her lying there motionless is killing me. There’s no smile, no blue eyes, there’s nothing. I should have known this, but I’m so used to seeing her with a smile or looking at me with those beautiful blue eyes. Those things make me love her so much.
"Do you want to sit down?" Dad whispers to me. I take a deep breath since I forgot how to breathe again, then I nod. He moves both of us and helps me down into the chair next to Hunt's bed. Dad bends down to look at me and cups my cheeks to wipe the tears away. I didn’t even remember I started crying.
"She will be fine, don't forget that." He says.
"You can't be in here." I hear Liam say as his mother shushes him. Dad gives me a flat smile and moves away from me. I look at my Hunter while listening to dad talk with her foster family in the hallway. I shake my head trying to focus on the good part, she’ll be fine. Then I move the chair and take Hunt's free hand in mine. It’s as soft as I remember, and I start brushing my thumb over her knuckles. Leaning in, my arms down on the bed, I bend down to kiss her hand. This is just too much to take in.
"I'm sorry," I whisper, then sort my own thoughts.
"Remember I told you that I’d follow you through hell if it meant I could hold your hand?" I kiss her hand again.
"Well, this is quite the hell you’re dragging me through." I chuckle and wipe the tears away with the arms of my jacket, then take it off because of the heat.
"And yes, I love you today, since I’m wearing your blue sweater." I smile and take her hand in mine again. I wish she was awake; I’d have loved to hear her response.
"She can't be here!" I hear Liam yell again and it makes me shrink and bury my face in my arms on the bed. The last thing I want now is to walk away. I finally got to see her, and I haven't seen her in such a long while.
"We just got here; you can't possibly throw her out, Mia." I hear dad say, talking louder. I open my eyes fast, after realizing I shut them. The lack of sleep and heavy emotions have drained a lot of energy today; I only ate a sandwich on the plane. Dad forced me to eat, then I felt like throwing up because I was so nervous.
I feel awful for doing this, but I'm going to anyway. I nudge Hunter as carefully as possible, to make some space for me. I know she wouldn't mind if she was awake, so I guess it’s fine. I kick off my shoes, move into the little place next to her, lay my arm around her and bury my face in her arm. I breathe her in and she smells so good like always.
"Do you really have the heart to tell her she can't stay here?" I hear dad angry, his words make me hold onto Hunter tighter. I don't want to go, I close my eyes and feel the tears fall on Hunter. This reminds me of all those nights with her, so warm and soft. I yawn and kiss her on the arm. My body is so tired, my legs that have been shaking the whole day are aching, my head hurts, and my eyes are blazing. I’m not sure if I’m breaking any rules by laying here with her, but right now, I don’t care. If I’m going to sleep, I’m doing it next to her. I yawn so bad more tears fill my eyes.
