The Miting: An Old Order Amish Novel, page 28
“I hope you like this, Leah.”
“Jacob, thank you! I have your gift at home. When you come in, I’ll give it to you.”
“Go ahead and open this now, Leah.”
He seemed more excited than she was, so Leah tore the paper off, and what she saw made her cry. In her lap lay a black, soft leather Bible. The cover even had her name on it: Leah Raber. “Jacob! Oh my—this is the best gift ever!”
“I knew you wanted one, Leah, and I thought, ‘Why can’t she have a Bible? What is so wrong about that?’ So I ordered it and asked them to put your name on it. They had to rush the order.” He laughed.
“Jacob, I don’t know how to thank you.”
Leah turned to him, and he wiped the tears off her frozen cheeks. Impulsively, she gave him a kiss. He smiled and pulled her into a hug.
“Now,” he reached behind him again and brought out a lovely woven basket. “I got this so your parents wouldn’t wonder what you got from me. You can use this to take things with you back and forth to the house and the shop. There’s a cover for your Bible in the bottom of the basket. It stretches over the book so it won’t show the title.”
“Jacob, this is wonderful! I’ll get to read my Bible in the mornings after all.”
“Ja, just don’t lay it out right on the kitchen table, okay?”
“No, I’ll keep it in my room. It’s so lovely. Thank you ever so much!”
Jacob slapped the reins, and Bingo began to trot. “We’d better get back. You’re getting cold. Let’s go get some cookies and hot cocoa.”
As they passed by the mailbox at the end of the lane, Leah asked if they could stop. Jacob jumped down and brought a handful of cards and letters back to her. She shuffled through the stack as they drove up the lane to home.
“Oh! Here are cards from Sally and the Schrocks. I’d better read these later.”
“Ja, I don’t think cards from your English friends would go over well with your parents right now. Best to keep them hidden.”
She tucked the cards in her apron pocket, and when they got back inside, she showed the rest of the mail to Daet and Maem.
They spent the evening playing games and singing carols. The last thing the family did before Jacob went home was string some popcorn to hang over the stairwell. The Amish decorations consisted of fresh pine boughs and berries and a few festive popcorn strings, but no tree and no commercial decorations.
Leah walked Jacob to the back door. There, away from prying eyes, she gave Jacob his Christmas gift—a pair of wool-lined leather gloves. “Peek inside, Jacob,” Leah said softly, suddenly nervous about her surprise.
Reaching into one glove, Jacob pulled out a blue vinyl-covered bankbook. Confusion creased his brow, so Leah jumped in quickly, “It isn’t much, but it’s all I managed to save this past year.” She smiled up at him, then laughed. “Thought I’d be buying a car with it. Now, I’d like it to go toward our future together. The start of something gut.”
Jacob looked down at the bankbook, then brought his hand up to her chin, tipping her face up to meet his. “Leah,” he whispered, “you are gut.”
In the quiet of the candlelit kitchen, with the happy sounds of family sprinkling in from the other room, Jacob said a quiet and special good-bye to her.
All eyes were on Leah when she returned to the living room. Ada ran over to her and threw a handful of pine needles over her sister’s head.
“Blessed Christmas, Leah!” she laughed.
Benny giggled and ran circles around her until Leah chased him.
After the others had gone to their rooms, she lay on her bed and carefully took the cards from her pocket. She opened Sally’s first:
Dear Leah,
I hope this card finds you happy and healthy. I got your letter, and though I was sorry to know you had gone back (because you’re my best worker!), I don’t blame you for wanting to be with your family again.
Anyway, I’ll be praying for you and thinking of you. If you ever want a job again in the future, just call me up.
Merry Christmas,
Sally
P.S. Here is your last paycheck.
The next card from the Schrocks was also a lovely and forgiving one. They wished Leah well and reminded her they would be praying for her every day. They also said they fully understood why she went back, but if Leah ever wanted to leave again, to let them know.
She carefully folded the cards and placed them inside the Bible, tucking the check in there, too, happy to have something more toward the future … their future. She felt only a tiny pang as she recalled plans for a car, a place of her own, a future to pursue. It seemed as if it’d all been a dream.
Shaking off her melancholy, Leah snuggled into bed and opened her new Bible to read the story of Christ’s birth by the lantern’s glow.
Once Leah finished the passage, she turned down the lamp and watched the snow fall softly against the window.
Thank You, Lord, for the best Gift of all—Your Son.
A few days after Old Christmas, Leah asked Daet to let the bishop know she wanted to begin classes to join the church. Jacob made the decision, too. They wanted to have the six months of classes finished before midsummer so they could plan an early October wedding. They would have liked to get married sooner, but Jacob had committed to helping his brothers with their harvests. Even October was still pretty busy, but it was the soonest he thought he could be ready.
Of course, they kept all thoughts and plans to themselves. In the Amish way, Leah and Jacob wouldn’t announce they were getting married until the banns were read at church.
Things settled down at home, and Leah fell into a pattern of helping Daet in the shop, Maem at home, and Ada with any work she had to do. The winter months passed slowly as Leah and Jacob pressed onward with the every-two-week classes.
One Sunday night in March on their way back from a singing, Jacob allowed Bingo to mosey along toward Leah’s house. The moon was bright, and the air held a weak promise of spring.
“Leah, I’ve been meaning to tell you something for a while now, but I’ve been worried about what you might think.”
She looked at him, eyebrows raised. “What?”
“I took your blue Bible and put it away in the drawer at the bottom of my dresser. But one night when I couldn’t sleep, I went and got the Bible and read it.” He paused and glanced at her.
Leah waited for him to continue, but her heart was starting to speed up when she guessed where the conversation might lead.
“Anyway, I really began to understand some of the stories and sermons I think the bishop has been trying to tell us for years. His readings in German, though, just didn’t stick with me like the English Bible. Before, I didn’t understand why you wanted to pray for salvation that night at the Schrocks’ Bible study. But after reading a few verses, I made my mind up to find out. When I was in town last week, I called Matthew Schrock.”
“Oh, Jacob! Did you?”
He nodded. “Matthew plans to meet with me sometime this week. He’s excited to talk to me, too.” Jacob looked shy and a little uncomfortable with his news. Leah was proud of him.
But right then she felt that denouncing her born-again faith in Christ was the worst decision of her life. And though she’d been doing everything the bishop, the church, and her parents had wanted, she was ashamed, ashamed of sneaking in her room to read the Bible. Her sadness reflected in her eyes. Jacob took her hand.
Leah loved him for his openness in sharing with her, but she couldn’t help wondering how his family would take the news if he announced he was a born-again believer. Would they react the way Daet had? Would they make him renounce his newfound belief?
Though Jacob’s parents were known as gentle, kind people who were more open-minded than many in the community, they would always be Amish. Jacob’s ancestors included many bishops and lay preachers. Their kin were deeply respected, and no one in their family had ever left the Amish community.
Would his decision to serve Christ wholly lead him to be the first in his family to be brought under serious discipline? Leah didn’t know if she wanted him to experience the same hurts she had.
She met his gaze, and for a brief moment, she saw uncertainty fill his eyes. But with a deep swallow that lifted his Adam’s apple, his expression fixed in resolute determination.
“It’s all going to work out right in the end, Leah. Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out.”
He brushed a stray tendril back under her kapp. His compassion brought tears to her eyes. He turned away and slapped the reins lightly on Bingo’s back. “Get along, Bingo.”
Later, she prayed for Jacob’s new curiosity and hoped this would truly be the beginning of an entirely new life for him. Leah prayed God would give her courage to do what was right. If He meant for her to stay, then she would. She also wanted to read the Bible in the open again. Hiding felt like lying. Leah just couldn’t believe Maem or Daet could really be upset about Bible reading.
A few days after Leah talked to Jacob, Martha came by the house. Her baby was crying pitifully in the buggy seat beside her, and she looked flustered and hot. Leah walked out to greet her, glad she’d come by. She had only seen Martha once or twice since they came home. Martha had been skipping membership classes and not going very often to church services. Though it was only a rumor, Leah heard Martha was close to being reprimanded by the bishop again.
Leah went around to the side of the buggy where baby Johnny was howling his displeasure and took him in her arms. His little face was red with anger, and his hands flailed. She tucked him close to her chin and rocked him gently. “Aww, little bobli, shhh shhh … it’s okay.”
Martha gave Leah a dry look, her eyes weary. “He’s teething, and he’s majorly grumpy.” She led the horse to the hitching post and gave him a portion of oats.
“A long visit, is it?” Leah asked, observing her.
Martha sighed. “I hope you don’t mind. I need to get away from Maem for a while. Gosh, she’s a mess sometimes! And Johnny gets on her nerves when he’s having a crying jag.”
Leah led her into the living room and settled Johnny on his blanket. He was content when she brought him a cold washcloth to chew on. He actually gave Leah a timid smile once or twice.
Martha claimed the rocker so Leah sat on the sofa and watched the little boy play.
“How old is he now?”
“Um, let me think: eight months, or near to that, anyway.” Martha leaned back into the chair and yawned. “I never get enough sleep anymore.”
“I wanted to ask you something, Martha.”
“Yeah? What is it?”
“When we first came home, I had to talk with the bishop.”
Martha rolled her eyes.
“Anyway, he asked me if I still had my Bible. He told me you said I had one.”
Martha laughed. She waved away the question. “Oh that. He asked me all kinds of questions, mostly about myself. But when he asked if I knew anything about your life out there in that bad old Englisher world, I told him you were too busy being a Goody Two-shoes to do anything bad. I said you were probably holed up in your room from dawn to dusk reading your Bible.” Her eyes grew big. “Oops! I think I probably shouldn’t have said that. But honestly, how can they be worried about you being too good?”
Leah frowned. “It’s water under the bridge now anyway, but I was surprised when he told me you were the source of his information.”
“Don’t let that worry you. If they only knew half the stuff I’m doing, well …” She laughed and leaned closer to her friend. “Did the old Amish grapevine tell you I have a new boyfriend?”
“You don’t!”
“I do. And get this: he’s English.” Her grin stretched from ear to ear, but Leah didn’t understand what was so funny.
“Martha, I don’t know why you even bothered to come home.”
“Oh, you know why I did that. But if I’d met Randall before I came home, you can bet your horse’s teeth I wouldn’t have done it. It’s been nothing but yelling about everything I do. If it isn’t my stepdaet, it’s Maem, and if not her, then the bishop.”
“You came home knowing they expected you to join the church and be a good Amish girl.”
“Yeah, they don’t know me very well, do they?” She smirked. “I met Randall when he saw me walking toward town one day, pulling a wagon with Johnny in it. He stopped to give me a ride. He’s a good guy. We go to the movies together, and he takes me to nice places to eat in Richland. That’s where he lives.”
“Martha, you’re going to get caught. Then you’ll be in trouble, and they may even ban you. Believe me, that is no fun.”
Martha shrugged. “It’s no big deal, Leah. I have a plan with Randall.” Her eyes lit up, and Leah guessed her friend was about to get herself into more hot water.
“You’re going to have nothing but grief if you keep this up.”
She gave a brittle laugh. “Grief is all I’ve known. Now I’m looking for some happiness!”
Leah glanced at Johnny and saw he was asleep. “Who’s keeping an eye on Johnny when you’re out with Randall?”
“Nobody, silly. I take him along. That’s the only way Maem will keep her mouth shut. If I tried to leave him with her, she’d have a hissy fit. We just take him with us, and I give him lots of bottles to keep him happy.”
Leah watched poor little Johnny as he busily chewed the washcloth and wondered what kind of life he was going to have. She prayed for him right then and there.
Martha stayed through Johnny’s nap, but Leah was relieved she moved to another topic. By the time she left, Leah’s head was splitting. She determined if the bishop ever came asking about Martha again, she would only tell him one thing: pray for her.
A pouring rain woke Leah the next morning. The gloomy light through the window let her down. Rain was needed for the new crops being put in, but for her, the dreary day was the start of something else. She felt sad and sorry. She wanted to stop hiding who she was. The classes with Jacob and the preachers, along with Bishop Miller, were getting pretty serious.
Leah could not possibly obey all of the rules in the Ordnung, but she also couldn’t figure out any other way to not be Amish and still have her family.
She thought about what Jacob had said when she first came home: there were Amish who preached the gospel; they didn’t shun their family members who left. A church like that was where Jacob and she hoped to move someday, but Leah had a hard time believing it was true. She often wished she could see this church with her own eyes. Still, she wouldn’t be near her family, and even if Jacob and Leah stayed Amish, she wasn’t sure her family would be able to associate with her since Bishop Miller wouldn’t allow their members to mingle with more liberal churches.
Leah sighed. All this thinking is getting me nowhere.
She got out of bed and rummaged through her drawer for the Bible. She curled up in the warmth of the covers and started to read.
Leah left the Bible face-up on the bed while she got dressed. As she passed the bed on her way downstairs, she picked up the Bible and held it.
It would be more honest if I took this downstairs to read it like I used to at the Schrocks’ apartment.
Before she could change her mind, Leah tucked it under her arm and headed downstairs. Her palms were sweaty as she walked into the kitchen. Maem wasn’t there, and Leah could see Ada outside checking on the newly planted garden. She poured a cup of coffee and took an apple from the fruit bowl on the counter, bit into its juicy middle, and seated herself in the chair facing the window.
Dim light fell across the pages of the Bible, as she carefully turned to the last passage she’d been reading. In the cozy warmth of the kitchen, she quickly became engrossed in the comfort of the Psalms.
“Leah. What are you reading?”
Leah jumped. “I’m … I’m reading my Bible.”
Maem sat down. “Leah,” she breathed. “Leah.”
“Yes, Maem?”
“You know you can’t do that! Why … how … you have to stop right away! Daet will be back soon, and he’ll … you know he’ll have a terrible fit about this!”
“Maem, please. It’s just my Bible. I have to read it, Maem. Please try to understand. Please?”
Maem stood and crossed to the window with her back to Leah. “You have to put that away. You have to get that Bible out of this kitchen!”
Leah shook her head. When Maem heard no answer, she turned to face Leah.
Leah shook her head again. “I’m not going to stop reading it, Maem.”
“Is this starting over?”
Leah said nothing.
“Is it?” Maem demanded.
Leah closed the Bible. She stood and went to Maem. “I’m not starting anything, Maem. I’m just reading my Bible,” she said quietly.
She walked out and went upstairs to put the Bible away. She stayed out of the kitchen and away from Maem for the rest of the day.
The next morning Leah went downstairs, again with her Bible. She fixed her usual cup of coffee. She made an egg and toast, and then sat down and opened the Bible to read.
This time, Daet came into the kitchen. He stood still in the doorway, and Maem hovered behind him. Their presence spread over her like a gathering storm. She hunched her shoulders against the coming wrath and kept reading.
Suddenly, Daet slammed his hand flat on the table and yelled, “You will stop this right now!”
“No, Daet.” Leah’s throat was dry.
“You will! You know the Ordnung says you must obey your parents, no matter how old you are. You must listen to me as the authority in your life. You have to stop reading that book.”
She stood, gathered the Bible and her breakfast, and said to Daet, “I have to read my Bible every morning, Daet. It’s my lifeline. That’s all I’m trying to do, just read. I’m not trying to interpret Scripture or write a sermon.”
As she left the room, he grabbed her arm. He pulled her around to face him. Leah had never seen Daet so angry, but in his eyes, she saw something else: fear.
