The Miting: An Old Order Amish Novel, page 14
“Yes, it’s here in my apron pocket. Thank you, Naomi.”
“Good. Now, let me know if there is anything we can do for you this week. I know it’s sometimes hard to adjust to this new way of thinking.”
“Thank you. I feel very hopeful my parents will understand once they hear what I’ve learned and experienced tonight.” She turned to Jacob. His smile was genuine, but there was a hint of worry in his eyes.
The ride back to Raysburg General Store was peaceful. Leah couldn’t wait to get home and share with her parents what had happened. As they approached the store, Matthew cleared his throat.
“Leah, I’m very proud of you tonight, and I know you have a calm feeling in your spirit, but I need to warn you that your parents may not be happy with your decision. Be prepared for them to confront you and not like what you tell them.”
“But I can’t think what would upset them. I’ve done nothing but have my soul filled with peace and assurance—”
“That’s the very thing they may get upset about. This group of Old Order Amish doesn’t believe in that kind of assurance. They won’t like hearing you say you know you’re going to heaven, especially since you haven’t yet been baptized or joined the church.”
Leah looked to Jacob, but he unexpectedly turned his face to the window and watched the parking lot approach. She was a little disappointed that both Matthew and Jacob dampened her joy about her telling her parents. “I’ll keep that in mind, Matthew.”
Just before he left, Matthew reminded Leah again that he and his wife were available anytime she needed to talk or if she wanted help of any kind. They would try to be there for her. He gave her his cell phone number, and Leah tucked it into the papers he’d given her at the Bible study.
When they got to the store, Erb was waiting, so they hurried to the buggy. Leah waved to Matthew as he remained standing by his car, watching as they drove into the night. A small frown creased his face. She felt a tiny flutter of anxiety start to grow. Still, Leah knew no matter how much opposition she encountered, she’d met the Savior, and there was no going back.
Jacob was quiet as the horse pulled the buggy back toward Leah’s house, but joy flowed in her heart and mind, easing the jitters she felt when thinking of her discussion with her parents.
“Jacob, I can’t believe how much better I feel! I wish you could know this feeling, too. Did you think about giving your heart to the Lord tonight?”
Jacob shuffled his feet uncomfortably and glanced at Erb. Keeping his voice low, he told Leah he was worried about what her parents would say. “They might think I didn’t keep my promise to look after you, Leah. Your daet might not even let me see you again.”
“I don’t think it will be that much of a problem. My parents want what’s best for me, you know.”
Jacob shook his head slightly and looked away from Leah, but she decided to leave whatever happened in Gott’s hands.
Except for a dim glow through the purple window coverings, no lights shone through the dark night from the neighbors’ houses. It was pretty late for Amish folk. As they pulled into the lane, she glanced at the windows. No light could be detected from inside. The front windows were dark, but she wondered if someone was still in the kitchen. Jacob helped her down and then waved as she opened the front door to the dark living room.
Maem was sitting at the kitchen table, a glass of milk in her hand and a worried expression on her face. When she saw Leah walking toward her, she breathed a sigh of relief and smiled. “You’re not too late. That’s good. I think Daet was thinking you’d be out long after dark.”
Leah poured herself a glass of milk and sat down opposite Maem. She was relaxed and happy, a fuzzy warmth settling over her shoulders like a cozy quilt. Maem watched closely as she pulled a cookie from the jar on the table.
“Maem, tonight I made a decision, and it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.”
“You have?” Maem sounded surprised.
“Yes. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior and now I know I’m going to heaven. You just can’t believe what a difference this has made to me already.” She munched the cookie happily, oblivious to her mother’s sudden stillness.
Maem’s voice held a sharp tone. “What do you mean? You haven’t even been baptized or joined the church. How can you say you know you’re going to heaven? No one knows that for sure.”
“I found out by reading the Scriptures I don’t have to be baptized to be save—”
“Leah! You know that isn’t true!” Shock filled her mother’s face. Her hands shook as she set her glass of milk down forcefully.
“Maem, please, let me finish.” Leah could see Matthew was going to be right about this. Already Maem was looking back at her in disbelief. She stammered on anyway.
“I mean—once I accept Christ, it’s the ABC plan of salvation: accept I’m a sinner, believe in Christ as my savior, confess my sins so He can forgive them—”
Maem jumped up from the table, her eyes confused and filled with fear. “Oh, Leah! You can’t mean this—you can’t mean what you’re saying!” She broke off, pacing as she wrung her hands in distress. “I can’t lose one of my children,” she whispered.
“Maem! I’m not going anywhere—”
“You’ll be as good as shunned. You’ll be talked about and won’t be as free as you once were to be with us! Can’t you see that?”
Maem’s tears were running freely down her face. “Your daet—he’ll blame himself, and he’ll have to go to the bishop and tell him what you said, and then, well, the whole church will know, and they’ll be against you, too. You must not say anything about this to anyone else! Do you understand?”
Leah stood up and wrapped her arms around her mother’s shoulders to comfort her. Her hands trembled as she felt Maem’s shoulders shaking with emotion.
“Don’t worry. You’ll see, Maem. I haven’t done anything wrong. Daet and Bishop Miller will understand once they hear me out. It’s all in the Bible. Please, don’t cry.”
Maem shook her head as she pulled from Leah’s embrace. “Daughter, I’ve been trying to keep this from happening! Don’t you see how Daet and I have done everything we could to keep you out of trouble?” She slapped her hand on the tabletop. “Why did you have to go to that meeting tonight? Why? Now we’ll have to tell what you’ve done, Leah!”
“But Maem, what have I done?”
“You’re saying things that are heresy! They aren’t true, and you’ve let Satan get ahold of your mind! Don’t you know that?”
The door to the kitchen opened, and Daet stepped into the dimly lit room. “What’s wrong? What’s going on in here?”
Maem turned to him and wiped her eyes with a corner of her apron. “John, ask Leah what she just told me.”
Daet turned, raised an eyebrow, and waited for Leah to explain.
“It’s just that … I think Maem doesn’t understand what I was saying.”
“I understood exactly what you were saying,” Maem interrupted.
Daet looked from Maem to Leah and back to Maem again. He was confused.
“I told her I’m born again now, Daet. I accepted Christ as my Savior tonight. I know I’ll go to heaven—”
“What? Born again! You know you’re going to heaven?”
“Yes, you see, it’s not like we’ve been thinking all along, Daet. Being a Christian isn’t just doing good or following the Ordnung exactly. It isn’t about obeying the bishop or our parents. Daet, none of that will get me to heaven. The Bible says that only the blood of Jesus will get me to heaven. Nothing I can do will change my sinful heart—”
“Stop!” Daet squared his shoulders, and she heard him take a deep breath. “You will stop talking like this now! It’s prideful and sinful to say you’re going to heaven in such a way. No one can say they are going to heaven—it’s not the way we believe, and you’re going against the Ordnung. You were born Amish—for you, there is no other way to heaven but to stay Amish and follow the Ordnung. If you’re good enough at the end of your life, maybe you will go to heaven. There is no other way!”
Daet waved his arms, his cheeks bright red from anger. “Going outside of the church is a sure way to hell for an Amish person!”
Like Maem, he paced back and forth, shaking his head and muttering under his breath. “I knew it was a mistake to let you go to that meeting. You have come back a different girl!” He stopped and looked at her, hands fisted on his hips.
“Yes, Daet, I am different. That’s what I’m trying to tell you and Maem. It’s the happiness and freedom I feel now—”
“I told you to stop talking like that, and I mean it!” Daet rubbed his beard and began pacing again. “You have given me no choice. In order to save your soul, which is being influenced by the Devil, I’ll have to go to the bishop tomorrow.”
He stopped, pointing his finger to the door. “You go upstairs to bed and think this over carefully. If you repent of what you’ve said by morning, then I won’t go to him; but if you don’t repent, then we’ll let him and the elders know that you are talking crazy and are outside the will of the church and the Ordnung. Now go!”
Leah tried to say something, but Daet held up his hand and pointed again to the stairs.
She glanced at Maem, but her back was already turned away, stiff and unyielding. Tears clouding her way, Leah left the room and stumbled up to her bedroom.
Falling across her bed with a sob, she thought about the way things had changed in her heart. Leah knew she’d done the right thing—the peace in her soul confirmed that—but hearing her parents and knowing now that there would be no acceptance of her decision, she slowly realized living her faith here at home was not going to be easy.
She got down on her knees beside her bed to pray.
“Lord, show me what to do. I want to hear Your clear voice telling me what to do now. I don’t want to have to choose between my family and You. Don’t make me choose, Lord. How could I do that? Oh, Lord, what began so sweetly tonight is ending in fear. Help me overcome that fear. Lead me to You.”
She got up and stretched out on her bed. Tears ran as she buried her face in her pillow and poured her heart out to the Lord. “Tomorrow, Gott, I’ll have to figure out a way to please both You and Daet. How can I do that? Please give me wisdom and strength. Please help me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
She pulled the covers over her shivering body. I guess Matthew was right. I am in a heap of trouble.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
The next morning, breakfast was tense. Ada kept a steady gaze on her oatmeal, and Benny looked at Leah with big blue eyes, not understanding what but knowing she had done something wrong. She guessed her siblings had been told they shouldn’t speak to her. Daet was already in his shop, and Maem was busying herself at the cook stove, with not even a glance at her.
Leah said a silent prayer and ate breakfast without trying to talk to anyone. She hadn’t realized how hard it would be to be ostracized. She swallowed a lump in her throat and tried to eat as fast as possible. For the first time, she didn’t have a list of chores to accomplish or time to spend in the shop helping Daet. It was as though she’d been erased from the family.
“Ada and Benny, it’s time to get ready for school now,” Maem said. Leah’s siblings got up obediently and left the room. Maem took their dishes to the sink and washed them, then pulled her cape from the pegs by the back door and hurried outside without speaking a word.
It cut Leah to the heart not to have a kind “good morning” or a smile from Maem, and she felt the shame spread over her neck and face.
“So this is the way it feels, and this is how it will be.”
She wiped her tears, finished breakfast, then walked to the sink to wash and dry her dishes. She knew she should put them aside—away from the rest of the family’s utensils, so she neatly stacked them at the end of the shelf and left the kitchen with a heavy heart.
After a long morning and afternoon spent sequestered in her room, Leah crept quietly down the stairs, made herself a quick sandwich, then walked through the house and out the front door. Grabbing her cape as she left, Leah decided to take a walk up the lane to think.
She turned onto the main road just as Abe Troyer’s truck approached. He slowed down, pulling the beat-up machine to the edge of the dusty road. Leah walked to the passenger side, leaning in the window so they could talk.
“I was hoping to see you somewhere today. Martha wanted to let you know she’s leaving the house tonight. I plan to pick her up at the end of the driveway. She’s been taking some things out of the house slowly, and she’s ready to leave.”
“Tonight? Everything’s changing so fast, Abe. You should know unless I repent of saying I’m a born-again Christian, I’m in trouble with my parents and I’m sure the church, too, by now. I don’t know what will happen, because I don’t plan to repent.”
Abe raised his brows. “Why get yourself into trouble over something like that?” he muttered. He shifted in his seat, waved away the topic, and gave his advice. “Be sure you know what you’re doing. With me and Martha, we’ll be together, but you won’t have Jacob if you keep on this way. You’ll be alone, Leah.”
She stared at him, then smiled softly. “But that’s just it, Abe. With Jesus in my heart, I’ll never be alone again, no matter what happens to me.”
He grunted and placed his hands back on the steering wheel. “Suit yourself. I’m just saying—well, never mind. You know what you want, I guess. Listen, I got to go. I have a job lined up for tomorrow, and I need to get things squared away before I come back for Martha.” He pointed a finger down the road toward her friend’s house. “Maybe you could go by and let her know what’s going on.”
She nodded and waved as Abe drove off. Leah watched his truck grow smaller and smaller on the lonely road until the sound of horse hoofs behind her shifted her attention to who was coming. It was Daet. As he neared, Leah lifted her hand in greeting, but he kept his eyes straight ahead on the road and passed by without a glance.
She lowered her hand, her gaze turning toward the road. Her parents’ rejection was almost more than she could take, and as she set out on her walk to Martha’s house, she came close to changing her mind about her salvation. She nearly ran home to repent and recant her testimony, but as she scanned the bright November sky and watched the crows fighting for the last of the corn in the fields, an odd strength entered her spirit. Leah knew she could never deny the truth.
She’d changed—she’d found peace, and no amount of shunning was going to take that knowledge away from her. Her eyes were opened, and there was no going back, no matter what it cost.
The late afternoon sunshine had warmed the air by the time she came to the lane that led to the Masts’ home. Leah saw Martha in the side yard, gathering clothes off the line. She was filling a handmade basket with the shirts and pants of the men in her household, and as Leah drew nearer, she saw tears running down her friend’s cheeks.
“Martha!”
She dropped the shirt she was unpegging and turned to see who had called her name. “Leah! I’m so glad you came by today. Did you see Abe?”
“Yes, that’s one of the reasons why I’m here. He said you’re leaving tonight, and I wanted to come to say good-bye.”
She nodded. “It won’t be like a real good-bye, you know. You can come and visit me whenever you want.” She pulled her apron up and wiped her eyes. “Sorry you caught me crying; getting sentimental about my sisters. I’ll worry about them.”
“I know. I’m sorry you have to leave them. It’ll seem different without you here. Do your parents know about your plans?”
“I think Maem suspects, but my stepdaet just tries to ignore anything in the household he doesn’t want to know about.”
They walked to a bench near the barn door and sat down. “What about your sisters?”
“Believe it or not, I told Abner that if I ever hear of him touching one of them, I’ll go to the Ashfield County sheriff. Now that I’ll be on the outside, he looked a little more worried about whether I’m a real threat. I hope he thinks twice, because I meant what I told him.” She stared out over the barnyard for a time, her face hard and emotionless. She turned to Leah finally and asked, “How are you getting along with your parents?”
Leah dropped her chin, afraid she might cry if she tried to speak. After a moment, she told Martha about going to the Bible study and getting saved. Martha looked surprised.
“How’d that go over with your parents?”
“Not very well. Daet has made up his mind to tell the bishop that he and Maem consider me to be in the hands of Satan—really rebellious against them and the church. I don’t know what the bishop will say. I know he won’t think too much of me saying I’m a born-again Christian.”
Martha shook her head. “He isn’t going to like it, Leah. If you were older or a member of the church already, I’m sure you’d get the ban.”
“Daet and Maem are already treating me like I’m under the miting.”
“They are?”
She nodded. “They see my confession of faith as full-out rebellion against the church. Daet thinks by saying I know I’ll go to heaven when I die, I’m under Satan’s influence. He thinks the only way to bring me to my senses is to shun me back into the fold.”
“He really means business, doesn’t he?” Martha was surprised.
“Ja. His biggest worry is that I might go to hell. And I have to admit, it still worries me sometimes, after hearing over and over that if we don’t stay Amish, we can’t go to heaven.”
Her friend shrugged. “I don’t know and I don’t care. Like I told you, I don’t care if I go straight to hell as long as I don’t have to live Amish the rest of my life.”
“But, Martha, you have to think about where you’re going to end up. Don’t you think about the end of your life?”
“Ha! No way, Leah. I’ve had nothing but Abner and the church and Maem and my sisters to think about, but hell or heaven? Nope.” Martha stood suddenly and pointed to the back porch. “You’d better go. I see my stepdaet looking for me, and when he bothers to look for me, it’s usually not a good thing. Hurry! Let me walk you down the lane, and then maybe by the time I get back, he’ll have forgotten what he wanted me for.”
