City, Sister, Silver, page 44
One day the old man got me in a corner, wanted to know when they’re going to come … after all, they’d written mighty Prague that they wanted to go home … now it’s time … their time here was nearly spent … so when’re the Czechs comin for em? They can’t just leave em here, no way! Well, I rattled somethin off … and that same day I’m standin out there with the sheep again, and all of a sudden Benjamín says: “The river of love floats streaming past, we stroll along its lush green banks, singing like the rain, sugar in my coffee” … and looked to see my reaction. I jumped outta my socks.
See, the ones that gathered every so often around the TV, which the old folks would’ve stomped to bits, since there was nothing about it in the Bible, occasionally picked up a Czech pop tune or two … that was their underground, that was how they learned the tongue, secretly findin the modern meanings … so I wasn’t at all surprised when … Kašpar an me’re traipsin through the woods, an all of a sudden he lets loose: “Here they come, tuning their trumpets, arise, sweet breeze, my only love.” So I go: “Headlong toward the trains my white steed dashes, wind in my face, whipping my lashes.” Train he knew a little, lashes too, steed I had to explain. After that they’d ask me things every now and then. I began to act as a missionary.
One day me and Benjamín were analyzing a song, he couldn’t figure out “twilight of the gods, gods creeping out of every bathroom and kitchen,” I couldn’t either, when all at once the hazelwood parted and two men were standin there. Benjamín let out a shriek an hid his head in the grass, I glanced at David, nothin, he just sat there, hands in the dirt.
These two looked very much like Losíns, everyone around here wore the same tattered hundred-year-old manmade wool, even young boys had hats, here and there a white shirt … and one says: Yew thet fellir from Prahah? Yeah. He sat down next to me. Ah’m Cermak, this muh bruthir, also Cermak. Wi’re out yondir, waved a hand over the mountain. C’mon ovir to owr place, Losins, he screwed up his mouth an spat … wi’re gud Szechs, onli ones rown heer, Losins eee. Perti thing, that’s frum houme … fingering my jacket … all of a sudden he noticed David, leaped up, an him an the other walked over to him, Benjamín vanished into the grass, fled without a sound … but they didn’t mean David any harm … just gaped in outright adoration … heer he is, thi one that herds … see his thuhms, so it’s thi trooth, thi holy trooth … it’s him, he’s got thi stingmata … he bleeds … I wanted to take off, there was somethin in the air, but I couldn’t leave David … I go up to him an see … so that’s why he’s always got his hands in the grass … I’d noticed wherever he sat he’d always fiddle around with those hands, an whenever I’d come over he’d scoot forward a little, craftily, it struck me once … and now I saw why … he was tearin up grasshoppers, ants, crushin larvae left an right … teeny-tiny drops of blood, it was a sickening mess … an behind him, where he’d been sittin before … more wings, legs, pinchers, tiny insect bodies torn in two, a fly crawlin around, no, not even crawlin, its wings an legs were gone … an I flashed back to one time Benjamín had tossed him a lizard … an another time he’d brought him a wounded baby swallow … I took the little one aside an asked … Davidko’s playin with thi aminals, he said … yeah, he was playin all right … it was horrifying, and if the Cermaks wanted to play with him now, well, I guess I’d let em, my stomach turned … and they gaped at him, just silently movin their lips … suddenly there was a sound like thunder and one of the Cermaks dropped flat on his back, a hole in his head … the other one went tearin off … the Losíns all came runnin toward us, all of the boys, with pitchforks an axes, Daník had a flintlock, they didn’t even notice me, runnin after Cermak … then Benjamín came draggin in, all outta breath, threw me a glance, peeked at David, an knelt down by the slain Cermak, ran his hands through his pockets … came up with some rope an a bowie, stuck em under his Eiffel T-shirt … that night I lay on the stove next to David again, in that cramped little room, an I told She-Dog … that motionless body with the gourd face touchin me, there was no way to avoid it … an I told She-Dog, this is too much, I can’t take it, I got a hunch what you want now … David, I guess in his sleep, swung his leg over me, I jerked outta the way an looked, he lay there, eyes open, not movin a muscle … like he was waitin … uh-uh, She-Dog, I can’t do this …
And next day when Kubík, who’d gone for supplies, didn’t come back, the boys went out to look for him. They knew where to go. Him they brought back, the horse was gone. War preparations got under way, I think you could call it that … the only one who came to see me that day was the old woman … kept on sayin: How’s Davidko?
I shook my head. She gave me a sideways look, slyly … did she know?
These old women that live their whole life outdoors … Some of em. Definitely know a lot.
Suddenly she told me: You’ll be goin now, soon. That shook me up, see, I … sometimes I’d feel sick that I was here, while Černá … was out in the woods, somewhere. Everything would go dark on me. Sometimes it was exhausting, but the environment was so new … I hadda be careful … and sometimes, when I no longer knew which way to turn and my spirit was sinking … sometimes I’d feel a slight pressure, like wings … I trusted She-Dog, no … I believed in her.
The boys were out in the yard, Daník … was showin em what a bow was. He himself had a rifle slung over his shoulder. Everyone was in high spirits, little Benjamín gave me a nudge an said they were goin out that night to crush those disgusting Cermaks once an for all … just then one of the little ones they had standin lookout in the hills comes rushin up an shouts: Vlado, here comes Vlado!
And I heard: budda-boom, budda-boom … like horse hoofs. The Losíns fell silent, all of a sudden everyone looked tired and downcast … dejected … I didn’t get what was goin on … we all went out in front … of the estate, and there I saw, heading toward us over the plain, a horseman, crimson cloak flyin … hoofs poundin, but there was something unnatural about the way the sound carried, like maybe some kind of echo … or maybe there was nothing else alive at that moment, motion had come to a standstill … the rider hurtled toward us and Kašpar gave me a nudge and said: Headlawng into thi wind ma white steed dashis, wind in ma face, whippin ma lashis, ah know, ah know thi words to that song tew … that’s not how it goes, I told him … but tears ran down his cheeks, and he said: That is too how it goes.
Now I could see the horseman, oh no, I said to myself … it was the proud Prince, yep, the Dark One, knew him right away … eyes flashing wrath, he dug his spurs into his horse’s flank, it didn’t even bleed … the rider’s teeth gleamed, long and sharp … I started trembling … the old woman whispered: He don see yew. This is owr wirld. This is owr lord Vlado.
And he was on us. Abram stepped forward and said with a humble bow: Yore servant, Abram. Not you, barked the horseman, his armor in the setting sun … the fiery ball was just going down … glistened, but the hands in which Dragan held the reins were dark … probably grave-rot instead of blood.
You, said the horseman. And pointed to Daník. He slowly laid his rifle down and strode forward. No one lamented, they accepted it … like nature, it struck me. I knew … I wasn’t from this world, the old woman had told me, I had a hunch now who she was … it was awful, but I think she had a pact with the Prince … the old man stood there crestfallen, similar to his sons … Daník walked up to the horse and vanished … into the folds of the cloak, and the rider slowly turned around and … rode off.
I snuck into Benjamín’s sailor’s berth an dug out that postcard a his with the Clock … some instinct for self-preservation gave me an idea … Rudolf injected me with some drug an this whole thing is just a dream, I’m ridin in the car with the spooks … but then I’d still have all that to come, no way, I gotta admit, I broke down sobbin right there in the granary …
Hey, mistir! It was Benjamín, pale but holdin up … yew dunno nothin! Lord Vlado, lord a thi barrow, is gunna stick Daník up on a stake, yis he is. But ma bruthirs don go after thi Cermaks an they don git dead, yew know. Just one. Danik, ma bruthir. Lord Vlado is real, real good to us. Lettin us stay here. C’mon, ah’ll show yew sumthin!
Our soup was eaten in peace that night. But I’d made up my mind. Even … the way the boys tilled the field, for instance … takin turns, the old man and Abram kept an eye on that, so whenever one of the boys took the whip too much to his brother, he got it right back the very next day … and whatever one didn’t finish was left for the next, had it all balanced out like scales … and they treated each other great all around … and all those stories their gramma told em … how every balk and forest path and ditch came to be, they had all that firmly inside em and they knew the land they walked on … they’d come into contact with others, apart from the Cermaks, and even with all that hardship … it seemed to me somehow they knew what the universe was, they knew they were alive, and that made em happy … even with all his hootin and hoppin around on those crooked little legs, Benjamín noticed every honeybee … and breathed along with them … what David did with his hands … Benjamín told me he’d never do that, that Davidko was just lost, that’s how he took it, as an exception … and I saw into that awful visit: They didn’t try to please anyone, their life flowed along in orderly fashion … even if they did long for their old land, which they’d dreamed up entirely, including the Pearl … I guess they were happy here. But whenever I brought up girls, I ran into a wall.
Somehow I’d heard the Losin daughters had left … an they weren’t talked about. The bros … every now an then, one of em’d disappear for a time an the others’d go out lookin for him, an when he came back on his own … scowlin … it hit me, the old woman had hinted … they were all related. Chalups, Holeceks, Bendars, Kecliks … everyone that made up this tribe. An one day Kašpar … who, after Kubík, played first fiddle with Abram … left.
That day the old man didn’t show his face outside his settin room. The boys that weren’t workin hung around the yard, bored … an some of em already knew, probly, that they were leavin too … that it was comin to an end there. Cause … bringin in a stranger … nobody here’d ever done that yet. Helena they’d chased out.
It’s up to you, Abram, bring back a girl, c’mon, you wanna protect your bros from the Prince, then show em this, pick up some … chick, an outsider … she’ll be good! … for you … you can teach her your stuff your way, an she’ll teach you too, hey … I told him with the voice of experience. I was two or three years older.
I think he didn’t understand a word. An before supper, before that last bowl of cabbage soup, little Benjamín showed me. Down in the cellar.
He led me down a hallway full of potatoes an cabbage, then we climbed down a ladder an the little guy … showed me a well, the lid was rotten through, Benjamín giggled an made the sign for woman … pretty disgusting at his age, then grabbed his crotch, drew out his face, pale an twisted with scrofula, says: Here Ondráš, ma bruthir, an here Jula … his concubine … Cermacka!
Plainly reveling in the fact that justice had been duly administered … he raised the lid an threw down a woodchip … there were two skeletons down there … plus hair, hair doesn’t rot … in the old well in the chill in the webs, tangled up in each other, plus somethin else, some wire … Ondráš an his Jula, said Benjamín, grinning as he joined the two signs he’d made with his warped little fingers … donno what got into me, I gave him a slap … Benjamín, feelings hurt, sniffled … Maw tol me … said his mom ordered him to show me the family secret, the disgrace of the Losín clan … they’d run away, those two … together, but not far … Benjamín … a plague on both your houses … that’s one tune you donno yet.
Nobody cracked too many jokes around the supper table that night, Daník’s seat was empty … I snuck a peek or two at the old woman, but she just kept refillin my bowl, actin like she always did … everyone kept quiet, but Benjamín was probly right, if they’d gone after the Cermaks, who knows how many more empty chairs there’d be … the Devil, that’s who.
David breathed without a sound, eyes open again … I lay down next to him so we were touching … for the last time I tried, David, pal … you want it … you really want it … if you do, then close your eyes, just gimme a sign, please … but then the candle went out, I couldn’t see beans, licking my thumb I extinguished the wick and said to myself, aright then … leaning over him, I grabbed a pillow and laid it across his face … had to smother him with my whole body … holdin his legs so he couldn’t kick … but it was like he was sucking death in … a minute later it was all over … I laid on my back, waiting for the wings, persuaded that now that I’d done it, She-Dog would take me away … but nothing happened … I just waited.
David was gettin stiff, I reached over to shut his eyes, but then left it … for his bros an dad … shudderin in horror at my deed, I climbed off the stove, she left me here! only she knows why … an then someone knocked on the door.
I had the window open when the old woman walked in. My Davidko, she said softly … I didn’t budge … she had a candle … went to him, then turned to me and said: Let’s go. The words fractured and broken, her voice quivered like the candle flame … I went ahead of her … yeah, it occurred to me to deck her an run for it … but in front of me were two rooms full of heavily breathing sleepers … at any moment I expected the scream that would wake them up, an then what would they do to me … She-Dog, I whispered, I guess I’ll hafta suffer a lot, give a lot for the pain I caused you, but afterwards will I be with you? … I banged into beds, tripped over feet, but the old woman … kept quiet … and the sleepers lay as if under a spell … breathing open-mouthed, in and out, they didn’t even stir … the last one by the door was Benjamín, snoring away too, crutch beneath his bed … here’s Benik, arn’t yew gunna tell im gbye? … she was taking me away! … clumsily I searched myself, flailin my sleeves around, but I managed to get that T-shirt off, the SUPER DISCO one, left it on his pillow … and then we went … the old woman led the way, walkin up the trails … I’d never been up that far with the sheep … she walked both ahead of me and beside me, hard to say … I’d killed this lady’s son … at the top a breeze blew as we walked through the boulders, her thin strong fingers caught me by the elbow, I thought for support, but it was so I wouldn’t stumble … draggin me along … and then we were on a plain, I guess up at the top, and in the distance stood a boulder … I shuddered … a barrow, a burial mound … that’s where she’s takin me, to the stone … lady, no.
Don’t worry, silly … I peeked at her incredulously, under her scarf her eyes flashed, the corners of her mouth drawing up in a tiny smile … an old lady, but that voice … are you She-Dog? You’re She-Dog … I am who I am, an c’mon … you talk too much, always do … you’re goin back to her. Treat her with love.
She led me to the barrow, there was a little fire burning, I shuddered to think I was goin to see the Proud One in his suit of armor … but it was just an old fella sittin there in patched-up rags, looked like one of the shepherds … Grampa! Ah’m bringin the gennilmin, said the Losín woman … he’s goin back, done an did it with his hands.
Sint thi youngun off ti heaven, did ji, took yi long inuff, ol witch … set yirsef down!
I didn’t understand what they said after that, at any rate it wasn’t much, the old fella tossed some leaves on the fire, herbs and … I think a raven’s wing, into my eyes an up my nose he drove the stinging smoke … at first I could make out individual feathers, but he kept wavin it at me, an the old woman began to sing, I saw her unbraid her hair … then run a comb through it, singing and combing … no, she was rending herself, tearing her hair out and bleeding … Grampa kept to himself, minding the fire, as the song grew softer and softer, and I sat down and couldn’t help myself, swaying to the rhythm … it was a long melody, and then … I was alone in the night and high in the air and flying … flying, without my willing it.
17
ANTHILLS. BONES. SHE KNOWS MANY THINGS. HONEY … YOU WERE TALKIN CRAP! THE HUT AND THE FIRE. THE WOLF DREAM.
I opened my eyes, starded to see two blazing spots right up next to my face … she covered them with her eyelids.
Sorry, said Černá, stretching out in the leaves, you were smilin in your sleep just now, an that’s interesting … cause all night long you were grindin your teeth an …
Sorry. It was amazing! I was flyin an … I jumped up and threw off my jacket and …
Ants? Sister said with concern.
No, hey … SUPER DISCO, it’s here!
She sat up.
Yep, the Eiffel Tower, I’ve got em.
I’m not too wild about those … disguises a yours … but whatever, she toppled back into the leaves, face to the ground.
It hit me … where we were and why … and what had happened.
Hey, I squeezed in close to her face … it’s gonna be fine, it’ll pass … I had a dream …
