City, Sister, Silver, page 15
And, O skippers and sokols, if you think now came a break so we could concentrate and mull it all over, you’re mistaken. Because Josef Novák the skeleton started right back up again, and by now we knew we had to follow, to stay within reach of that raspy voice, or we’d start breaking through the bones. So we straggled after the skeleton like on some stupid field trip from bolshevik days.
Yep an movin right along, let it fly, let it ride, like three grannies down the slide! Hola hey hola ho, watch my tour an off we go! Wull but I’m in the wild blue yonder now, boys …
So you’re seriously in heaven, Mr. Novák, for real? asked David.
Wull yeah I’m in heaven, I mean what’ve I been tellin ya, hell!
So why’re you there? said David. And the rest of us, dear lords and standard-bearers, kept our mouths shut, but I think we all considered it the right question at the right time.
Wull now, boy … that I dunno! Hooty hooty, woods an booty, Novák the skeleton started up again, guesser guesser guess away guess, with all the strength that you possess, he hollered back at us over his collar and shoulder bones, and we had to pick up the pace again.
Wull all right, boyz … the wild blue yonder, I rode in there on a copacetic shinkansen, knocked me flat on my can! That was somethin new! Peek at my turnip an there she is, pullin up to the ramp, right on the money!
Oh boy, said Bohler.
Uh-huh, said Micka.
Really, Mr. Novák? said David.
There he goes again … it’s never gonna stop … said I.
I’m goin outta my mind … said Sharky, gnashing his teeth.
But first I hadda go through this tunnel wid alla these other stiffs an there was plenny a other heftlinks an some was heavily brutalized an I mean I wasn’t exackly a knockout either! No siree! Wull what wid the oberst an all! I mean you know, boyz! … so we’re goin along an I see this Angel standin there so I say: Greetins, yer worship! I’m Josef Novák aus Žižkov … but my legs gave me away, yes sir, boyz, yes siree … an the Angel he tosses his hair an says: I know, Novák, but things’re diffrent out our way. An since we also happen ta know, ole pardner, that you can swing the techneek, which is ta say yer one seriously slick operator wit golden Czech hands an callouses all over those sticky little fingers, we got a copacetic shinkansen here for ya. Course the Ole Man’ll hafta take a peek at cha first, but between you an me, pardner … it’s just a formality, got cher paypers all shipshape an where yer goin now ya won’t get no cheap shots, no one’s gonna try an stifle ya or poison ya or any hanky-panky ever again, ya warped ole chiseler, I swear on my momma’s death, umtata umtata boom! An the Angel spat good an hard. An me, boys, I broke down right then an there! Every one a those tears I’d held back, I bawled um all out, cause I didn’t snuffle once in four years in that lager! Not one little bitty teardrop, jus so we’re clear! I couldn’t! Not there, I mean I’m tellin ya! An ya know what I was bawlin for? Cause somebody’d talked normal da me! Cause that Angel swung the lingo my style! … that Angel, he was a personage, an authority … my new boss, the commandant, for cripe’s sake! An I’d awways had some kina pop … ole Rouba … the guards! … the oberst … but I couldn’t ever sling it my style wid those fellas, call a spade a spade … awways twistin my tongue in knots for the bosses … an it was the end a all that now, I could feel it … an maybe that Angel had long hair like some kina perv, but this was his home turf an he came down da my level … that Angel was the boss, an he definitely had a piece a the action on everythin beautiful an clean an new! An who was I, a blond barboy an … a brutally slaughtered heftlink, I mean you know! A nobody! Boyz! Wull an when we pull up da the ramp there’s this ole gentleman sittin there, up in this like armchair sorta, real ole gent wid long white hair an whiskers, an he’s smilin all kind like an noddin to us …
Jesus an Mary! cried Bohler.
I bet, said Micka.
That’s beautiful! Just like my mom told me! said David.
Yeah, cool, said I.
Heh heh heh, said Sharky …
… an there’s lines comin in from every which way, cause not all of um rode in on shinkansens! Don’t kid cherselfs now, boyos, cause that’d be brutally miscalculatin! That’d be a mixup, ha! Cause some hadda slog through the mud … on foot, some of um in coaches … an that kind ole gentleman, that was Mr. God, my boys, an as the lines went past he’d jus smile an go Rechts! und Links! wid this like white cane, an in the line I was in, the Angels took care a us an treated our wounds an consoled us an sang an all … but the debbils tore inda that other line wid pitchforks an whips, an talk about cher hubbub! Talk about cher uproar! Chunks a flesh flyin! An there was more an more a them debbils every minute! I noticed that like right off! An these debbils … they weren’t like those Jew boyz … an me … back there in Auschwitz … here akshally … wull nowadays it’s diffrent … but debbils’re worse, don’t chou think! An this one boy, he’s worked over all nasty an done in like me, but suddenly he starts hollerin an hoppin for joy, an he says, in German, only now I know how da swing it, right: Hey, it’s that swine ess-ess Kupner, ha ha, hey everybody from Dachau, look what they’re doin da him! ha ha ha, an a couple a heftlinks take a look, an they start in, ha ha ha, an the debbils when they heard that, wull I guess they wanned da show off for us, an for Mr. God a course, so they take their pitchforks an fire an start hazin an brutalizin that ess-ess Kupner, makin sorta like a showpiece oudda him. An all of a sudden I hear Mr. God talkin da us ole heftlinks: Really? Is this what cha really want? An a couple a brutalized pieces hollered: Yeah, mister, give that swine what he’s got comin! Or somethin like that, an the Lord says it again, he says: Really? An do ya wanna know what they’re doin to him? An a couple a us said, yeah, an some jus nodded, like yers truly … an all at once, my boyz, we were in the picture … all at once we knew what they were doin da him … an it was awful, boyz … an if we hadn’t awready been dead we’da dropped right there on the spot … not that anythin was happenin da us, boyz … no sir! But we knew what was goin on wid that Kupner … an it was goin on in eternidy … he was sufferin … an every teeny little second a pain was an eternidy … wull you dunno that one, boyz … those scoutin storees a yers don’t tell ya diddly bout that … wull even the most done in an brutalized heftlinks stopped yellin at that ess-ess fella an jus kep goin … an I turned aroun … an saw his face … an he wasn’t hollerin … it was past hollerin now … he was sufferin an he had an eternidy in fronna him still … on an on … nothin but sufferin … all sortsa pain … us, though, we were in heaven.
Look! Sharky shouted.
The ovens were in front of us again.
Wull, boyz, seein as ya need it, go ahead an squat yerself down a little, way we been runnin aroun the lager, yes sir, kep me a while there, boyz, damnation! Curious little buggers! said Josef Novák the skeleton. Wull an every so often I go down there da peek in on the oberst … down there, boyz, by those spits there’s tubs a water an whirlpools an all sorts a contraptions … an whoever wants to … but only if ya know um! Wull an I remembered that strudel an alla those soups … so I awways stop down there time da time an give the oberst a drink … that swine oberst a mine … an he goes: Sank you, Mr. Novák … misterin me again, heh! … the oberst’s on his own down there … there’s lots of um burnin an sizzlin all by their lonesomes! Ya got some strange cases, sokolites … an some a those spits got crowds round um too … families … husbands or wives, frinstance … other wimmen too, dependin on yer setup … go down there an fan um … can’t help too much though, boyz, now whoa there … not wid alla those giant knives … an fire all over, yep! An the debbil pitches in wid his pitchfork … loves it! Course that’s what they live for, that’s why they’re there, I mean I’m tellin ya … there’s all sortsa cases … people from heaven they … people, hm! Pff! Someone’s got a thing for some sinner they can go down there, easy as pie! No checkpoints at all, yer in ein zwei drei, I tell ya! … yep, came through here after Auschwitz, sokols, yes sir, oof, said Josef Novák, bones cracking as he dropped into a squat … think I’ll pop round the clinic, see if Mengele’s in, he’ll put me all shipshape, yep, nothin that can’t be fixed … things’re diffrent out our way, sokols, us ole grandaddies we like da chew the fat wid the dochtor time da time … shuffle on in, get a shot or two … even Hanuš, wull not like we need it, but cha know … things’re diffrent out our way …
Bohler sank to his knees and for what must’ve been the hundredth time now, O sling shooters and free lancers, broke into loud moans. Micka spat, this time David didn’t say a word, and Sharky walked slowly up to the skeleton, until his face was about 2 cm away from his … face … and spat through his crooked teeth: Are you tryin to tell us, whoever the hell you are, you Novák, that the man who murdered the Jewish nation, that devil Mengele, is in heaven?!
Whoa there, boyo, now slow down wid that devil stuff, cause see lotsa people … people, hm, anyway … in the wild blue yonder wondered bout that, an lots of um Mengele sent there personally … see, news gets aroun up there, oh yeah … whole place is like one big latrine … rumors an agitations … wull but things’re diffrent out our way … an I was wondrin too, but then one day Hanuš tells me, cause see he’s inda negroz an he translated … propriated … all sortsa negro storees, an he tells me how Mengele’s down in Argenteena, boyoz, yeah? an those modern Izraeli boyz’re huntin im, so he hops a plane an drops in on one a those negro rain forests an some a them negro boyz find im there, Bororoz or somethin, Hanuš tells me, ain’t talkin through my hat, boyoz, no sir, jus sell it like I bought it … Hanuš like surmized it all, yeh? Jus so we’re clear, ha! An these Bororoz, wull, they’re out huntin Vaiz, these other negroz … been fightin for years out there in those forests, cuttin each other’s heads off, like trophies, yep, inhyooman negroz! Like champeenship cups, boyoz, yeh? Swingin it yet, are ya? Wull an so they bag Mengele an take one look an leave im alone … an so there he is, what’s he gonna do … an he’s sittin there in fronna his hut, happy as can be cause those new Jew boyz, those modern ones, won’t be comin afder im there … no sir, boyz, all there is there’s anacondaz an lizardz an parrots an spiderz big as a cottage, all sortsa kina critters, Hanuš tells me … no smart Jew boyz’re goin in there! Not even for Mengele! I tell ya, no mixup there, nope, ha! Wull an one day Mengele sees this negro walkin through the village an he hollers an foams at the mouth an drops an he’s a goner. An Mengele goes da the negro king an says, what’s with that pardner there made im holler like that? An the king says, yeah we dunno, hey Mengele, yer a dochtor, go give it a gander … an Mengele goes an aha! Cancer! The ole familiar, yep! No mixup there! An Mengele goes inda his hut an surmizes an reckons an mutters an snorts … three days he’s in there! That’s the way it was! Cross my heart an hope ta die, pardnerz! Wull an so he reckons it all up … draws some formyalas in the sand … an he tells this negress: Go an get me this stuff … an then tells another one: Go an get me that stuff … an this other one he tells: Go an get me this other stuff … an he nods ta the formyala, wull an that’s how it goes, an the negro king gives Mengele some palm wine an cigars, an Mengele shuts imself up in his hut an dumps the stuff in a satchel an stirs … an stirs … an three days later, bingo! pardnerz, he’s got it! But careful, it’s not over yet: cause afder he went an cured the Bororoz, this delegation a Vaiz comes an says somethin bout some ole feuds … an buryin the pipe … an they got alla these gifts for him an the king … carvings … an heaps a gold … precious gems … so Mengele goes an cures alla those negroz … an peace breaks out all up an down the Ammazon … an alla those negro heftlinks, all of um prosperin an diggin gold … no more cruel diseases or fires or killin or nothin! It was paradise. Yep an him there, boyz! Lived there like that fordy years! An made a deal wid the tribes so they wouldn’t go an stab im. An they went an stabbed im anyways! Yep, go trust a negro.
You’re a racist, Sharky said disgustedly.
Nobody’s found a cure for cancer yet, David said boldly.
Did Mengele do penance? Tell me! Bohler roared.
C’mon, the guy’s fulla shit, Micka barked.
I kept my mouth shut, my buddies had said it all.
What’s it now, boyz, awways mumblin! What’s alla this racist talk … I worked the bar, never played in no orkestra, I told ja loud an clear! Wull an how’re they sposda find the cure when the fella got stabbed! I mean I tell ya! An how bout chou, preacher? Penance, yeah, did he do it, did he not, like how’d he get ta heaven afder what he did ta alla those boyz … an dames an kids … yep, I dunno, preacher, I’m a little man an anyways, guesser guesser guess away guess, wull ya know the rest by now, sokolites … sit cherselfs down! C’mon, yer tired!
He was right. With great relief, friends and flag-bearers, we flopped down next to the nearest oven and leaned our backs against the grate.
Wull now, my weary sokols … rub-a-dub-dub, five ducks in a tub, till one sank down an blub blub blub … Heh heh, boyz! Spose I’d better be …
So long! said Micka.
Thank you very much! Bohler said for the rest of us.
That is … wull jus one more, know this one, boyz? Hitler’s meetin wid Chamberlain an Stalin, an Hácha* walks in an says: Hey, fellas …
Yeah, Mr. Novák, we know it, only with a different cast, Micka said.
On a different set, I clarified.
Wull all right, boyz, yeh! An hey, pardners, heh heh, I mean we’re all men here … how bout this one? This lady goes ta the dochtor an says: Hey, boss …
Yeah, yeah, Mr. Novák, we know it, we assured the skeleton in unison.
An how bout chou, boyz, know any? Somethin I might pass along ta Poláček … that ole Hebe …
Well, maybe, if … I cleared my throat … and said: Hey, Mr. Novák, ya know the one about the nun?
Heh heh, the skeleton shuffled eagerly, heh heh, guess not, try me, young fella, give it a go, my silvery sokol, speak an tell!
Well there’s this nun walkin down the street, an she’s goin past this doorway, an this guy jumps out with this metal rod an biffs her in the head. She goes down, an the guy biffs the nun again, an she’s gone, she’s history. An the guy spits an goes: Huh, I thought you could take more than that … BATMAN!!!
Micka and Bohler collapsed in a laughing fit, I just wheezed, David howled, and Sharky went into hysterics, falling flat on his back on the skeletons.
Wull now, boyoz, boyoz, Josef Novák the skeleton shook his skull … I sorta didn’t … whatchamacallit … what’s wid all the hee-haws … I mean that nun musta … pardners?
Guesser guesser guess away guess, with all the strength that you possess!!! Bohler shrieked and, O my brothers, maybe it was strange, out there with that sea of skulls and the ovens and … Josef Novák! … but we couldn’t stop laughing.
Wull, pardners, if I could like, yeh? Cause I got a riddle too, boyoz, so like what cha gonna do now then, heh?
We stopped dead.
Wull then, pardners, yep, this here … all the best, sokolites … guess I’d better be, I mean I was advised … an maybe I’ll be seein ya … up there … wull it all depends on you … arrivaderchee!
And next thing we knew, the skeleton fell to pieces, bone by bone, the skull first, then the arms and legs, and a few seconds later Josef Novák the skeleton was just another one in the sea of millions.
And it was quiet again.
An I was chosen, brothers, an I realized after a while why I’m the bearer of the dream … in all modesty, blood brothers an industrialists … maybe the reason the Face singled me out was cause I’m a dancer an an actor an therefore an artist, an as such’ve already got within me the proper dose of insanity, an maybe that’s why I was able to take what I saw an now I can share it with you. It started inconspicuously.
See, I sat down on a bad skeleton an it slipped out from under me an without even thinkin, just on instinct, I did a dance, a little elbow here an a hand or two there, an suddenly I was flying, soaring, an from way up high I saw you down there, relaxing or dying, an I was down there too, an I saw the skeletons in the ovens, from the last ones killed I guess, they were shattered an cracked from the heat, an then all I could see was ashes, an lying there among them in one of the ovens, brothers, was a little piece of melted metal, it was there under the grate that we’d been leaning on the whole time. An all of a sudden, O my brothers, the Face was there in front of me, an it was kind … an up there in the air I did a little skip for joy, cause I was convinced this had to be Bog, but I didn’t know what to do … so all I said was: Hello.
