Painful, page 10
Kiera had been digging through her bag for her shirt when I said that. Pausing, she twisted to look at me. Curious what she would do, I kept my expression completely blank. She stared at me a moment longer, then sighed and dropped the towel. Most of her was covered up, but I didn’t care—that wasn’t really the point. She’d caved because she didn’t want me to take my body away from her. Well, and maybe I’d guilted her into it…but I preferred to think that she didn’t want me becoming all shy and modest around her. Just like I didn’t want her shy and modest around me. She was perfect, and there was nothing that she needed to hide from me.
Looking away, Kiera let me leer at her for quite a while. During those long seconds, I pictured removing her cream-colored bra, sucking her nipple into my mouth. I could almost hear the groan she would make as she begged me to make love to her. Desire surged through me, and I instantly began to harden.
And that was when Kiera decided the show was over, and hastily pulled on her shirt and buttoned it up. Not able to get the image of her pristine skin out of my head, I was still staring at her chest when she finished. She had to clear her throat to break my concentration.
Lifting my eyes to hers, I gave her a mischievous grin. “Well, now I’m turned on, and you can’t go. You’re just going to have to stay here with me today.”
She laughed, then leaned over the bed to kiss me. That was all the encouragement I needed. Wrapping my arms around her, I pulled her on top of me. She giggled in my mouth as we kissed, and euphoria flooded me. I did that. I made her laugh, made her feel better about today. Made her want me. She was lightly rubbing against me, quickly turning up the fire inside me, and our kiss intensified. I knew we needed to get going, but as seconds passed, reason started diminishing. She could start tomorrow, right?
Like she could hear my thoughts, or sense my growing desire, Kiera pulled away. “I wish I could stay with you,” she said, her voice reluctant. “I’m not really looking forward to today.”
Hearing her admission made me sigh, and I cupped her cheeks as I searched her eyes. “Someday I’ll get you to feel like the confident woman who was prancing around in her underwear last night all the time.” I paused to run my fingers through her damp hair. “You are a beautiful, intelligent woman with a boyfriend who adores you. You have nothing to fear…ever.”
As she averted her eyes, warmth filled her cheeks. “Easy for you to say, rock star.”
Climbing off the bed, she started brushing her hair with a comb. I laughed at her comment as I sat up. “I get nervous.”
She paused to give me a yeah, right expression. I understood why. I was very good at pretending to be fine; I’d had to be. But the things that I was very comfortable with now—sex, being on stage, telling Kiera I loved her—none of those things had come without some discomfort. Not nearly on the scale of what Kiera was experiencing now…but some. Especially that last one.
Picking the one aspect that was the most similar to her current situation, I told her, “No, it’s true. In the beginning, I used to get nervous onstage.”
That was a slight exaggeration, making it sound like I’d been anxious before multiple events, when in truth there had only been one time I could think of when I’d gotten a case of nerves. It was right before my first major performance at junior prom with my band at the time, the Washington Wildcats…God, that name. I’d tried to be fine, but I’d been antsy, chewing on my fingernails, bouncing on my toes, swallowing about ten thousand times in a row. My stomach had been doing a really weird churning thing; before that night it was something I’d only ever experienced when I’d known my dad was mad at me. I’d hated feeling that way right before doing something I loved, but I hadn’t known how to turn it off. Denny was the one who’d helped me through it. Hand on my shoulder, he’d told me, “Relax, mate. You have a gift. The only thing you should be worrying about right now is whether or not the rest of your band can keep up with you. But your voice…that’s golden. You have nothing to fear about being on a stage. Ever.”
I’d instantly felt better, and after that show, I’d never again been nervous to perform. Denny’s words had just…stuck. I kind of felt bad about that moment now. I’d blown off Denny’s concern at the time, telling him I was fine, just excited, but…after everything that had happened between us recently, I kind of wished I’d told him just how much I’d needed to hear that, how much it meant that he’d said it.
How strange that the comfort I’d just given Kiera had, in a way, come from Denny. Good or bad, he’s forever linked to both of us.
As Kiera bunched her brows together, I let that memory fade into the background of my brain. “Let me guess,” she said with a smirk. “You picture the crowd naked now?”
I laughed as I stood up. Amused by her comment, and not wanting to talk about Denny again, I didn’t bother telling her the real story. “Nah, I had to stop doing that…Turned me on,” I teased. Her answer was more entertaining than the truth anyway, and picturing everyone naked might actually help her.
“You’re impossible,” she laughed, pushing against my chest as I approached her.
My grin grew as she rolled her eyes. “We all have our weaknesses.” Slipping around behind her, I pulled her tight. “You will be great, and I’ll drive you every day if you want. Maybe I’ll sit in on a class or two.”
“I doubt the professor would like you snoring during class,” she laughed, amused at the idea. Happy that I’d lifted her spirits, I kissed her neck and closed my eyes, savoring the feel of her, the smell of her, the very presence of her. I’d had no idea just how satisfying being in love could be. Nothing could top this feeling; I was 100 percent sure of that.
When it was time, Kiera gathered all her stuff and grudgingly trudged to my car. I rolled my eyes at the look of defeat on her face, then relaxed back into one of my favorite pastimes—driving Kiera to school. Kiera looked lost in her thoughts as we traveled the familiar path to the university. A smile crept over my lips as I remembered all the times I’d done this with her. Back in the beginning of our…friendship, it had been almost innocent. And then, like us, it had grown to be so much more. It was a way for me to show Kiera that I was here for her. That I had her back—forever.
The prestigious buildings of the university came into view, but Kiera didn’t seem to notice that we were almost at our destination. In fact, she was so lost in her mind that she didn’t react until I turned off the car. Blinking out of her stupor, she looked around the parking lot in surprise. I almost asked her what she’d been thinking about, but instead, I smiled and said, “Ready?”
Kiera sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, an erotic move that instantly made me think of sex. “Yeah…I’m good. Let’s go.”
Smiling at her answer, I cracked open my door. I tried to hurry around to her side before she got out of the car, but I didn’t make it; she stepped out right as I got there. Brushing it off, I reached out for her hand. Her warm fingers wrapped around mine, and pure peace washed through me. I’d missed this.
As we walked through the familiar campus, my arm around Kiera’s waist, my thumb tucked in the waistband of her jeans, several sets of feminine eyes shifted to stare at me. Ignoring the attention I was attracting from the clumps of girls scattered around the lawn, I focused on Kiera. She was the only one whose attention I really wanted. Her nervous eyes took in the girls watching us, and she subconsciously pushed into my side. Most of the girls weren’t looking at her though. I think Kiera liked the fact that I generally funneled the attention away from her. Part of me was happy that I made her more comfortable by stealing her spotlight. Another part of me hated her being in my shadow. She should be shining brightly with me.
When we got to the building housing her first class of the day, I gallantly held the door open for her. She gave me a charming smile as she stretched out in front of me. “So, I had an interesting phone call with my dad last week,” she said when we were side-by-side again.
“Oh yeah,” I responded with a smile. I hadn’t met her father yet, but from all I’d heard, he seemed to be the protective type. I could only imagine what he’d said to her.
She rolled her eyes, confirming my suspicions. “Yeah. He said he hoped you came to your senses soon and found a real job. Apparently being in a band isn’t a viable career choice for the person dating his daughter.” With a sigh, she shook her head. “I’m pretty sure my dad won’t be happy until you become an accountant.”
The image made me laugh. I really couldn’t picture myself at a desk all day, staring at a computer. I think I’d go crazy. Kiera laughed along with me, like she couldn’t picture it either. We were still laughing over the idea when I noticed a small cluster of guys blocking the hallway. Kiera hadn’t spotted them yet, and she was about five seconds away from stepping into a giant of a man. The dude towered over me, and I was six-two.
I pulled Kiera back, stopping her before she collided with the could-be basketball player. A small, startled gasp left her lips, and the imposing man looked our way. Surprising me, a huge smile stretched across his face as he pointed at me. “Hey, aren’t you that guy? The singer of that band? The D-Bags?”
Meeting men who knew me wasn’t always a…pleasant experience. Once upon a time, other people’s relationships hadn’t mattered that much to me. I’d been too lonely and desperate for affection to care, a fact that had led to more than one tense confrontation. Surprisingly, I hadn’t been in too many fights though; I had a knack for talking myself out of trouble, usually by pointing out that I had no way of knowing what girls were taken and what girls weren’t. I only had their word to go on, after all, and it wasn’t like a girl about to cheat on her boyfriend was going to tell me the truth. In theory. I had never actually asked a girl what her relationship status was, but I wasn’t about to mention that to their furious boyfriends. I wasn’t stupid.
I hadn’t been sure what this big guy wanted at first glance, and I really hadn’t wanted to talk myself out of a beating in front of Kiera. She didn’t need to hear that crap. She’d seen and heard enough already. But this guy was just a fan, and I was more than happy to talk to fans.
“Kellan, yeah…I’m a D-Bag,” I said with a laugh. In more ways than one.
The guys circled me then; they were all huge, and for the first time in a long time, I felt tiny. They were cool though, just wanting to tell me how much they loved my work. For the next several minutes, I shook hands, thanked them for their praise and politely answered all their questions. I could tell Kiera was getting restless, probably nervous about being late to class. Walking in late, with everyone’s eyes on her, would be absolute hell for her.
“We’ve got a class to get to, but you guys should come to Pete’s sometime and catch a show,” I said with a wave.
As I led Kiera away from the group, they all started saying they would be there. Then they started inviting me to different frat parties. I raised my hand, not accepting, not declining. Leaving things open-ended was usually best. And besides, some of the other D-Bags might want to go. Like Griff.
Kiera laughed when we neared her classroom. “What?” I asked, bumping her shoulder.
Her crooked smile was adorable. “Look at you, finally getting some male fans.”
A laugh escaped me as I held open the door to her room. “We’ve always had male fans, Kiera. You just choose to fixate on the female ones.”
She brushed my body as she walked toward the doorway, then she paused and leaned into me. Her nearness instantly electrified me, and I wanted to pull her into me…then take her back to my car. “Well, that’s because they fixate on you,” she whispered, her mouth teasingly close to touching mine.
My heart surged with the near-contact, and my body immediately began to harden. Fuck, I wanted her. Biting my lip, I let out a soft groan. “Look at you…becoming a seductress,” I whispered. You can take me, right now…right here.
With a sudden flush to her cheeks, she quickly stepped away from me. Had she seriously not meant to do that? I had to laugh at the embarrassed look on her face. If she only realized how successful her seduction had been, she wouldn’t be so mortified. My jeans were still a bit uncomfortable.
Trying to think of anything but Kiera’s legs wrapped around me, I gave her a kiss on the cheek and told her to have fun. She told me she would and gave me a quick peck before making a beeline to her seat in the middle of the room. I watched her for a moment, amazed and overwhelmed that a woman as beautiful and wonderful as her was truly mine. With a huge smile on my face, I turned and left her to her studious life. See you soon, Kiera.
Chapter 7
A PAINFUL OPPORTUNITY
I ran errands while Kiera was at school. Got some groceries, filled up the Chevelle, and had the local barber give my mop a trim. Like always, the older man shook his head when I told him I only wanted a little bit taken off.
“Are you sure, Kellan? I could give you a really nice, respectable haircut. It would look great on you, trust me.”
Smiling, I told him, “Thanks, George, but I’m a bit partial to this haircut and so’s my girlfriend. I think she’d leave me if I had respectable hair.” Not really, but she’d definitely be disappointed, and the last thing I wanted to do was disappoint Kiera; she stared at my hair almost as much as she stared at my body.
George sighed, shook his head, then reluctantly went about only slightly snipping my hair. Once he was done, it was just about time to get Kiera from school. I thanked him—gave him a huge tip for the inconvenience of putting up with a hairstyle he hated—then climbed in my baby to go get my other baby.
Pulling into my usual spot here at the college, I shut off my car and climbed out. Before I could take a step, I was approached by a group of girls who clearly knew me. “Oh my gosh, you’re Kellan Kyle, right? Of the D-Bags?” one of them asked.
Containing a sigh, I smiled and said, “Yeah, that’s me.”
They all giggled in response, and I knew I wouldn’t be meeting Kiera outside her classroom today. Not unless I wanted to be rude to this group, and it was clear they were fans. I hated being rude to fans if I could help it. Leaning against my car, I made peace with the fact that I was missing walking Kiera from class. But she would find me out here, so ultimately, it was fine. I was still picking her up.
“Your band is just…just amazing. And you…” The girl’s eyes briefly flicked down my body, and I couldn’t help but smile in amusement. “Your…voice…is just…out of this world.”
Considering how she was drinking me in, I wondered if she really meant that. “Thank you, that’s always nice to hear.”
“Are you…putting out an album soon?” another one of the girls asked. “I’d love to…listen to you at home.” She bit her lip, and the girls around her giggled. I was pretty sure they would all love to do a lot more than listen to me at home. Unfortunately, they wouldn’t be able to do anything with me at home.
“Matt’s working on getting us a demo CD, but I don’t know when…or if…they’ll be available for fans to purchase. You’ll have to come to Pete’s to listen to us.”
They all giggled again at that. “Oh, we will. We go there all the time.”
I nodded, like I knew that, but if they had been at a show, their faces weren’t registering with me. I saw a lot of people though, so that wasn’t too surprising. “Good,” I told them. “We appreciate the support.”
A tall, leggy brunette raised an eyebrow. “We don’t mean to be forward, but could you settle a debate for us?”
My lips quirked into a half-smile. “What sort of debate?”
She chewed on her lip before answering me. “Well…we’ve been wondering if you were single or not.”
Before I could answer, one of her friends chimed in with, “And if you aren’t single, how do we convince you to become single…for a night or two at least?”
They all started tittering. Laughing at the nature of their debate, I turned my head and spotted the answer to their question walking our way. Sorry, girls, I have no intention of becoming single anytime soon. Or ever again. My smile grew as I watched Kiera getting closer, but the good feelings faded as I noticed the look on her face. It was contained fury, like she was restraining herself from punching something. Or someone.
The girls around me were still giggling over their question, and Kiera had to elbow her way through them to get to me. That got her a few heated looks, but she wasn’t paying attention to them—her fiery eyes were on me. Shit. Was she mad at me? I was pretty sure I hadn’t done anything to incur her wrath. Recently.
But she was definitely mad. “Let’s go,” she snapped.
Nodding, still confused, I opened the passenger’s door for her. Shutting it, I turned back to the girls; some of them were glaring at Kiera. I didn’t know if that was because she had bullied her way through them, or because she was sitting in my car. Wanting to smooth things over, I told them, “I’m sorry, but I have to go. It was nice meeting you all.”
They moaned and groaned, but nobody seemed overly angry anymore. Walking around to my side of the car, I opened the door and climbed in. The air seemed chilly inside as Kiera sat there, silent. With one eye on her, one eye on the girls still hovering close to my car, I pulled out of the parking spot.
When we were on our way, I finally asked her what was wrong. “You want to tell me what happened that’s got you all ticked off?”
Her eyes narrowed as she watched the girls who were watching us leave. “Not really,” she muttered.
With a sigh, I put a hand on her thigh. “Will you anyway?” Her expression was blank when she looked over at me, but it was a tense blank. Forced. Frowning, I added, “You’re the one that said we should talk things out…and you look like you need to talk something out.”
Grunting in annoyance, she crossed her arms over her chest. “I have another class with Candy this year. She made sure to say hello afterward.”
