Purgatory Blues (2013), page 1
Prologue
He began pulling himself toward the Glock. Using his legs to push himself tore open the wound in his gut, using his upper body ripped at his bullet wound and broken bones…but he kept going. He didn’t scream, he didn’t have the air in his lungs, he couldn’t have screamed if he wanted to…
He thought that it was funny how, now when his life was slipping away from him, everything seemed to slow down. It felt like time had just stopped, every second seemed to last for hours. He thought about everything and everyone all at once. He thought about what had led him to where he was. He thought about all the things that he could’ve done differently…the choices that he’d made…the things that he’d left unfinished…the people he’d hurt.
He thought about all his mistakes and how he’d never have the chance to set things right. He wondered…if this was really the end, how would the world remember him? Or would he even want them to?
Chapter 1
Seven days earlier…
Andy Maureau sat down at the bar of Chez Blanco, a new restaurant that had just opened in the city. It was Friday night and Blanco was supposed to be the hottest spot around. Every socialite in the city would have killed for a reservation, but not Andy. He wasn’t one of them. He wasn’t that kind of guy. He didn’t like trying new things. He was sure that most of the diners in attendance were there because they wanted to be seen. The mere thought of their lives made his skin crawl. He knew that for them to tell people they’d been there on a Friday would be the highlight of their week. Andy hadn’t even made his own reservation, he didn’t want to be there…but then again, he didn’t really want to be anywhere.
He was supposed to be meeting a couple of old friends from out of town. He’d cancelled on them twice before. This time they’d made the date a month in advance. He’d arrived thirty minutes early, hoping to ply himself with enough social lubricant so as to make the evening bearable.
On any other day he’d be dressed in his typical boots, jeans, black shirt and black jacket. Tonight he’d made the effort to wear a suit. Despite his intentions to blend in, his choice of colors made it look like he moonlighted as an undertaker. He took in the scene for a moment, watching the patrons busy at work trying to be noticed by passers-by on the street and then turned to the man who controlled the liquor.
The bartender was absently tapping two straws on the counter when Andy waved him over. “Hey Ringo”, Andy said by way of a greeting in a deep, rough voice that sounded like gravel going through a meat grinder, “how about a beer?”
“What beer can I get you sir?” The bartender asked.
“Whatever’s on tap”, Andy said and turned on the swiveling bar stool, fully expecting the conversation to have ended.
“I’m afraid we don’t have anything on tap sir”.
Andy turned back and smiled at the bartender’s statement. “Afraid huh? Well, don’t be scared kid. I’m sure we can still find me something to drink. Get me a quadruple Chivas on ice with a little splash of soda water”. The longer it took to get a drink, the stronger the drink would have to be.
“We’re not allowed to serve anything more than a triple sir. It’s the rules”.
Andy took a deep breath to calm himself. He was getting annoyed. He hated going to places that he was unfamiliar with because these were the things that tended to happen. He liked having his drink on the counter before he sat down. He’d grown spoiled, going to the same hangouts where the staff knew exactly what to do and how to do it.
“This is what you do kid”, he began, “you pour me two shots of Chivas in a glass with three blocks of ice, then you go get me a can of soda water, then you get me another glass with a double Chivas in it. You’ve just served me three separate drinks. I’ll put them all together”.
The bartender, barely twenty-two years old from the look of him, stood there with a dumbfounded expression on his face before Andy prompted him in to motion, “go on kid”, he said and swiveled around on his chair to watch the crowd.
“It’s Billy, sir”, the bartender said.
Andy turned around, “what?”
“My name, it’s Billy”, the bartender said as though he’d been slighted somehow.
Andy’s expression changed to one of profound irritation, characterized by a narrowing of the eyes and an involuntary baring of the teeth. He’d been without alcohol too long. “I’ll make sure to put it on your tombstone”, he half whispered with a slight nod, hinting at the threat of violence.
Billy stood there locked in Andy’s gaze, he didn’t know if he should move or not. He was a deer in the headlights. Andy released him from the spell by waving him away with four fingers. “Go”, he said, under his breath.
Andy turned towards the dining area as Billy fell to his task. A minute later as Billy set down Andy’s order in front of him, a brunette in a little black dress made her way to the bar and sat down at the end of the counter away from Andy. He’d just finished combining the ingredients in to one glass when he heard her say “hi”, in a velvety smooth voice.
Andy turned in her direction and made eye contact, she smiled at him so he raised his glass slightly and nodded, it was a silent acknowledgement coupled with a “cheers”. He considered it to be the modern day equivalent of tipping your hat to a lady.
He turned back to his drink wordlessly but she came over to sit next to him anyway. Her persistence was telling. “Tough day?” She asked.
“Something like that”, Andy said and drank down half the contents of his glass.
“I’m Rebecca”, she said, offering her hand to him.
He kept his eyes straight ahead, barely acknowledging her presence. “Andy”, he said in reciprocation. He downed the rest of his whiskey and signaled Billy for another, raising four fingers and then pulling down two, indicating that he was switching to doubles.
“Wow, tougher than I thought”, Rebecca said, lowering her hand and turning to Billy. “A vodka, lime and lemonade please”.
Andy felt bad for being rude. He was always terrible company before he’d gotten his first drink into him. He looked at Billy and subtly pointed at Rebecca and then himself.
“On sir’s tab?” Billy asked.
Andy nodded once and Billy left.
“Thank you”, Rebecca said with a smile.
Andy half turned in her direction and nodded.
“Let’s see”, she said, looking Andy up and down, “about six feet tall, well dressed, short dark hair, you look like you’re in pretty good shape, you’ve got that macho silent thing going on, aside from the goatee I’d say you’re definitely very James Bond. I’m guessing you’re a bouncer for one of those clubs up the road”.
Andy let out a small laugh before turning to her and smiling, “you’re a really bad guesser”.
“Yeah?” She asked with naked amusement, “so what do you do then?”
“I write”.
“News, magazines, novels?”
“Fiction”.
“You don’t say much for a guy who’s supposed to be a wordsmith”, she said, lightly stroking his forearm.
“Not much to say I guess”, Andy replied, looking down at her hand before turning to Billy. He’d brought their drinks.
“Okay, I did you, now you do me”, she said excitedly.
“What?!” Andy said, taken aback by her poor choice of words.
Rebecca laughed, “sorry, I mean you have to tell me who I am and what I’m doing here?”
“Really?” Andy asked with a raised brow, exuding his reluctance, “I don’t think you want to play that game with someone who makes a living out of observing other people”.
“Come on, it’ll be fun! Unless you don’t think you can do it?” She said, playfully goading him.
“Okay”, he said, “five foot six, you’re slim but not muscular so you’re brainy, not brawny. Shoulder length dark hair, you tried straightening it today but you didn’t finish because you were in a hurry, you’ve still got some waves in the back. It’s seven hours past midday, if it took you forty-five minutes to get ready I’d wager you left work at no earlier than five-thirty. You wear glasses usually but they’re in your purse right now, I can tell from the slight notch on the bridge of your nose. Your purse doesn’t match your dress and there’s also some chalk on the side of it, meaning that you don’t have a large collection of bags and you took that one to work with you”.
“Okay”, she said with an uncomfortable laugh.
“You were sitting at that table right there when I came in”, Andy said pointing out in to the dining area, “when you walked over I noticed that you weren’t really at home in those heels that you’re wearing, which, along with the purse and your hair, tells me that you don’t dress up like this all that often. You’re a teacher. With the time you finished work, coupled with your age and the fact that you don’t have much time to date, I’m going to say you’re a teaching assistant at the university”.
“Uh huh”, she said, sounding even more uncomfortable.
“You were here before I arrived and you joined the only guy sitting at the bar, I think you were waiting for someone who didn’t pitch, most likely a set up or an Internet date. Anyone who’d met you in person wouldn’t stand you up, you’re quite lovely”, Andy said with a smile. “As to what you’re doing here right now, you didn’t want to look like a complete loser so you thought you’d hit on me so people would think your date had finally arrived”.
“I forgot to add something about you”, she said after a long pau
“What’s that?”
“You’re a complete asshole”, she said angrily and turned away to her drink.
“Hey, you asked”, said Andy in an offhand manner before finishing his drink. “Looks like my dinner companions are here”, he added to no one in particular as he stood up and waved to a couple at the door. Andy leaned down to Rebecca and spoke close to her ear. “By the way, it might’ve been a little more difficult if your university ID wasn’t in that slot outside your bag, Miss Rebecca Thorpe, T.A.”
“Oh shit!” Rebecca exclaimed, checking her bag before breaking out in to laughter.
Andy smiled to himself at having made her feel a little better. He pulled out some cash from his wallet and handed it to Billy, “her next two drinks are on me”, he said before he walked over to the maitre d”.
“Thanks for the tip!” Billy called out happily before Andy was out of earshot.
“Your party is waiting Mr. Maureau, right this way”, the maitre d” said. He led Andy to a secluded table with a view of the street and it was there that Andy his friends, Ben and Amy, warmly greeted him. Ben was stocky and appeared well fed, he was about six inches shorter than Andy with dark neatly groomed hair. His grey suit fitted him with precision. Amy matched Ben’s formal attire in her beige power suit and long, dark hair. She was, however, noticeably fitter and in superior shape. Andy had been friends with Ben and Amy since they were in high school.
“It lives!” Ben said affably, greeting Andy with a handshake.
“Hey”, was all Andy offered in response.
“Hi Andy”, Amy said and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
“How was the flight?” Andy asked as they all took their seats.
“Surprisingly painless”, Ben answered, “No fat people, no babies, nobody talkative”.
“We actually came straight from the airport, we haven’t even checked in to the hotel yet”, Amy added.
“Well you didn’t have to rush on my account”, Andy said obligingly, “I’d have waited for you”.
“Truth be told, I’m starving, so I couldn’t wait to get here”, Ben said as he lathered butter on a stick of bread.
“Well, I smell like airplane so I’m going to freshen up”, Amy said. “Babe, find something nice for me if the waiter gets back before I do”, she added to Ben as she handed him a menu.
“Mmm”, Ben answered with a mouthful of bread as he took the menu from her. “So how’s the new book coming?” he asked Andy.
“Fine,” Andy said and gestured for a waiter to come to the table. “Go tell Billy the bartender that I want what he gave me before, tell him to bring it over himself”.
“You don’t sound very enthusiastic”, Ben said, still crunching on the breadsticks.
“That’s because I haven’t started the fucking thing yet”, Andy said, half annoyed with himself and half with Ben’s comment.
Ben paused in mid crunch, swallowed and put the bread stick down, “what’s going on?” he asked in a serious tone.
“What do you mean?” Andy countered, barely concealing his irritation.
“Is everything okay?”
“I’m sorry”, Andy said, recovering from his mood swing, “everything’s okay, let’s just talk about something else okay?”
“As long as everything’s good”, Ben said amicably, to which Andy nodded reassuringly. “We’re moving in to the new house in a couple of months”, he said with a big smile, “remember the renders I emailed you?”
“Yep”.
“It couldn’t have come at a better time too”, Ben smiled, “Amy’s pregnant, two months now, she wanted to tell you herself so act surprised when she does”. Ben was positively beaming with joy.
Andy didn’t know how to react. He was happy for his friend but at the same time felt more sad and alone than he had in months. He felt a sinking, empty feeling in his core. It was a sensation he’d become all too familiar with. He’d once experienced the same joy that Ben was feeling, right before it was brutally ripped away from him. He lost himself in those thoughts while he stared into nothingness…until Ben snapped him out of it by calling his name.
“Andy?”
“Shit”, Andy said, faking excitement, “what am I doing?” He stood up and went over to Ben who’d left his seat as well. “Congratulations man”, he said as he hugged Ben, “I’m really happy for you guys”.
“Thank you, thank you”, Ben said proudly as he and Andy returned to their places, “so what else have you been up to? Besides not writing I mean”, he said with a smile.
“Ah, you know, stuff”, Andy said with a shrug, “tell me more about what’s going on with you, how’s work going?”
“Hectic”, Ben’s change in posture was evident as he fell in to his work persona, “hitting all those sales targets, flying all over the place, bringing on new enterprise level clients, it’s f’in busy but the money is coming, so no reason to complain”. He opened the bottle of water on the table and filled his glass along with Amy’s. “Hmm?” he asked, offering water to Andy.
“Nah, I’ve got something coming”, Andy said, looking around for Billy anxiously. All the forced pleasantries were beginning to wear him down. He needed more alcohol and he needed it soon.
“So, what’s this stuff that you’ve been so busy with?” Ben asked suspiciously, “it’s been a whole year, I thought you kept canceling on us because you were working on a new project”.
Andy cut Ben off before he could continue, “look, can you just stop?” It was the most direct way to let him know that his prying was not a welcome gesture. “I didn’t feel like being around people. I wasn’t going to come out and pretend that everything was okay so that everyone else could feel good about paying attention to me”.
“Okay, okay”, Ben said placatingly, “chill, I was just asking”.
“Yeah, well, don’t”.
“Don’t what?” Amy asked as she returned to the table, flashing them both a big smile.
Ben gave her a kiss on the cheek as she sat down, “Andy doesn’t think we should trade in the sedan for an SUV”. His save was expertly delivered the way only marriage can teach.
“B-a-a-a-a-be”, she said in a coercing manner and rubbed his arm, “we talked about this, I’m sure Andy will change his mind when we tell him why”.
Just then Billy approached from behind Andy, he had two glasses and a can on his tray. “Sir’s drink”, he said and began laying out the contents of his tray on the table, “this is from the lady at the bar”, he added, producing an origami swan from his pocket and handing it to Andy.
Andy turned to see that Rebecca was still the only woman seated there. “Thank you William”, he said, placing the money for the drink and a twenty percent tip on the tray. “Better send another one in about five minutes, make that one just a double”, Andy whispered. Billy nodded and left as Andy began assembling his concoction.
Amy grabbed the swan, eager to examine it. “Lady at the bar huh?” she said with a raised brow and a mischievous smile. Andy shrugged and kept working on his drink. She looked at the swan’s profile for a moment before she began unfolding it, “there’s got to be more to this than just an ugly duckling”, she said. “It says ‘Call me some time, Rebecca’, it’s got her phone number on it, still a hit with the ladies I see”, Amy said and handed the note to him.
Andy took the paper from her and set it alight using the candle on the table, summarily dropping the flaming message into a wine glass, thereby dispelling even the vaguest notion that he might be interested. Amy looked at him in open-mouthed silence, not daring to interfere. Andy picked up his drink and drank down half of it.
“Hitting the sauce pretty hard there huh?” Ben asked. Andy could tell that there was more than one accusation in his question.
Amy elbowed Ben in the ribs but it was too late and Ben didn’t care.
“How about you just mind your fucking business Ben”, Andy snapped at him, the words came out before he’d had a chance to think them through, it was too late to take them back.
“What the hell is your problem Andy?” Ben asked sternly. “First you dodge us for the better part of a year, we finally manage to get some time with you to see how you’re doing and all you can do is act like a complete dick!”
Andy didn’t reply, he lit up a cigarette instead while Ben and Amy waited for him to say something. He needed the distraction, something to do with his hands, something to do besides address the situation at hand. He’d just taken a drag when a waiter came up to him and leaned down, “I’m sorry sir but there’s no smoking allowed here”, he said quietly to Andy.
