Purgatory Blues (2013), page 13
Andy thought for a bit. It would be good to see Eddie again. He’d always had a line on what was going on. If you needed information, he was the guy to talk to. It would be good to catch up. “I need about an hour, I haven’t showered in a while, where are you?”
“Haha, that’s hectic bro, okay, but don’t take too long, I’m here with Cat’s friends and they’re boring the fuck out of me man, we’re down at ‘Outlaws’, you know where that is right?” Eddie seemed pleasantly amused at Andy’s need for grooming.
“Yeah, I know where it is, I used to go there a lot, I’ll see you in an hour brother”. Andy cut the call and tried to shake the sleep out of himself.
Every time he woke he felt the pain in his body compound. He wondered if maybe he just wasn’t giving his body enough time to heal, or if it was that he just kept sustaining fresh injuries and his body didn’t know which to tackle first.
Either way, getting liquored up was one of just a handful of ways he knew to take the pain away. It was also the only way that could make you forget at the same time. “A surefire winner”.
He noticed that he’d received several calls throughout the day on his cell. There was a call from Jack, three from Melissa, two from Dennis and one from Andy’s Father. He didn’t want them to worry so he typed out, “getting some rest, call you tomorrow”, and then copied everyone on the message.
When Andy stood up from the couch his creaking bones made him feel like he was twenty years beyond his age. He desperately needed a good scrubbing so he peeled the crusty garb from his skin and headed for the shower.
Andy got the water temperature just right before he stepped inside. The shriek that emanated from his apartment could be heard throughout the entire building. The hot water on his back felt like acid. He turned the temperature down to a more reasonable level and soldiered on.
He was able to pull off most of the Band-aids that Sharon had put on him. His hand was still caked with dried blood so he worked on that next. He took his time and scoured himself to perfection. When he was satisfied with the results, he dressed in his usual boots, jeans and black shirt. He popped a few of the painkillers that Jack had given him and then headed out after downing half a beer.
It was a short drive, Outlaws was a little pool bar just down the road from Andy’s apartment. It was within walking distance, but you’d only walk if you were going there, coming back was a forty-five degree incline that you wouldn’t want to walk up when you were drunk.
Andy drove in to the parking lot, slotted his car in to a bay and then proceeded on foot to Outlaws, as he did, he heard a bike approaching from behind, he turned in time to see Eddie on his Kawasaki. Eddie wasn’t a particularly big guy. He looked more like a surfer and a musician than a biker…lean and lithe with long hair and too much jewelry.
Eddie let out a loud “whooooo!” He threw up some horns as he zipped by, knocked down his kickstand right outside the entrance to Outlaws and dismounted. He ran up to Andy as he removed his gloves and then wrapped his arms around him in a bear hug. “Long time brother! How’s everything going?” he asked, stepping back and holding Andy by the shoulders.
“I’m alright man”, Andy knew that it was a complete lie but social pleasantries had become such a part of him over the last year, he didn’t really know what else he should say. He was sure that nobody wanted to hear the truth. “What’re you doing out here? I thought you were already inside”.
“Oh yeah”, Eddie said, looking irritated, “Cat wanted me to drop her off at her cousin’s house”. Eddie said “cousin’s” doing air quotes.
“What do you mean ‘cousin’s’ house?” Andy asked, emulating Eddie.
“Come”, Eddie said, putting his arm around Andy, “let’s get a beer and I’ll tell you all about it”.
When they stepped in to Outlaws Andy saw a lot of old faces. Most of the people that’d hung out there when Andy was a regular were all still in their same old seats. “The more things change, the more they stay the same”, Andy thought to himself.
“Well as I live and breathe, if it isn’t the Glen’s most famous son, writer extraordinaire, Andy Maureau in the flesh!” The voice belonged to the man tending the bar, who also happened to be the manager of Outlaws and Andy’s old mixed martial arts sparring partner, Mason Bracht.
Mason leapt over the bar counter with the grace of a cat and gave Andy a bro hug. “How are you doing sir?”
“I’m good brother, it’s been too long”, Andy had become so practiced at the false niceties that now he was even delivering them with a smile. He was glad to see Mason though. He thought of Mason as a bat-shit crazy bastard, a hell of a fighter and one of the nicest guys on the planet.
“We’ve got some catching up to do hey? One of my little meat puppets fucked off tonight without an excuse so I’m stuck tending the bar, but I’ll come visit later when things quiet down a bit alright? In the meantime, first one’s on me, what’ll it be?”
“A pint of your strongest ale, barkeep”, Andy said and clapped Mason on the back.
Mason hopped back over with the skill of a comic book assassin, “coming right up fine sir”.
Eddie pulled up a seat next to Andy at the bar and spoke into his ear, “how do you know that guy?”
“We used to train together back in the old days, why?” Andy asked.
“I’ve seen that guy fight in a cage man, he was fucking brutal, nearly tore the other guy to pieces”, Eddie said excitedly.
“Nah, he’s a puppy, as long as you show respect, he wouldn’t hurt a fly. Just don’t make fun of his singing on karaoke night and you’re okay”, Andy said with a smile, “so what happened to Cat? I thought you were here with her friends?” he asked.
“Oh yeah, well a couple of them are still here in the smoking room, fuck, those guys are idiots man, let’s not even go in there”, Eddie replied irritably.
“And Cat?” Andy would have to keep reminding Eddie what they were talking about, as he was prone to losing his train of thought very easily.
“Yeah! Sorry bro”, Eddie said, laughing at his forgetfulness, “man, Cat’s been on my case all fucking day man. This doll drags me out here and we’re supposed to be meeting her friends, and like, I don’t even know these people and if I don’t have a good time, she’s going to complain and she won’t put out tonight. But how can I talk to these people when they’re such a bunch of fucking rejects man?”
This was going to be one of Eddie’s long stories, Andy could tell, but there was nothing he could do except listen and try to sympathize.
Eddie continued, “man, I mean the two guys over there are probably ten years younger than us, they’re like fucking little brats man, I mean, how do you talk to fucking people that age? I mean, like, how’s school or whatever? You know?”
“Yeah, heavy”, Andy said, laughing inside but trying to keep a straight face, “so, Cat’s cousin?”
“Oh yeah, sorry bro”, Eddie said, tapping Andy on the shoulder, “so this cousin, isn’t Cat’s cousin. Cat just calls her a cousin because she’s like, trying to make it like a code or something, but I know who that chick is, she’s Cat’s dealer. Well, she’s not like a dealer dealer, she’s like a friend dealer or something”.
“How does that work?” Andy asked.
“Okay wait, I’ll tell you, but I have to start from the beginning so that you get the whole story bro, but you’re gonna like this because it’s like, fucking epic right”, Eddie was gesturing with his hands, clearly excited to tell the story, “but you can’t tell anyone, because this is like, on the down, down. If it comes out then they’ll know that it came from me”.
“Okay”, Andy said, not expecting much.
“Okay, so the way that Cat knows this chick Clare is because Clare and her husband own a catering company. Now, the catering company works with the club that Cat works at, you know that S&M club where you choose your partner and go in to a room and do freaky shit with each other and stuff like that?” Eddie nodded as he spoke, expecting Andy to know what he was talking about, “what’s that place called? Ah fuck it, doesn’t matter. Anyway, so Cat is a waitress there now and she met Clare because they used to work together sometimes. It was like once a week or something”.
“Uh huh”, Andy agreed, humoring Eddie.
“Okay, now these guys were poor, I mean, poor, poor. I mean they were doing this catering thing just to get by, then suddenly the husband is showing up to work with a fancy new fucking Audi and shit like that, then Clare is busting out the designer labels and stuff and she gets her ass a new car and like, suddenly it seems like they’re rolling in it”.
“Uh huh”, Andy said a little more enthusiastically, the story had begun to take a turn. He signaled Mason for two tequilas and kept listening.
“Okay, so by now, Cat and this chick Clare are like BFF’s and shit right, so one day Cat is chilling over at Clare’s place. The next thing you know, the husband walks in with a brick of uncut and he just, like, puts it on the table, like it’s a thing they do, you know?” Eddie said and tapped Andy on the arm.
“Hmm”, Andy was suddenly paying attention. Now it was starting to sound interesting.
“Thanks bro”, Eddie said when the shots had arrived.
They both downed the tequila and growled as they slammed their glasses on the table.
“Okay, back to the story, pay attention now”, Eddie said jokingly. “This is where this shit gets really good”.
“Okay”, Andy said, smiling back.
“So, there’s the uncut on the table, and then Clare says to Cat, like, ‘Hey, do you wanna help me with this?’ You know, like, ‘It’ll go faster if we both do it’, and Cat is like, ‘fuck yeah’. You know what a fiend that chick is, she spends half her life on one thing or another and she thinks I don’t know about it”.
“Uh huh”, Andy knew that Cat partied occasionally, but he didn’t know it was as bad as Eddie’s description.
“Anyway, that’s a tale for another day bro”, Eddie said, throwing the statement away with his hands, “so, yeah, Cat is helping this chick Clare with this stuff. They cut the stuff with a third of paracetamol and teething powder. So that’ll make it like, what? Sixty-six percent pure right?”
“Yeah, that’s about right”, Andy agreed, “I think it’s got an infinite decimal”.
“O-k-a-a-a-y Mr. Brainy pants”, Eddie said, punching Andy’s shoulder and laughing. “So anyway, then these guys have this little, like, digital fucking scale where they measure a gram at a time, but here’s the grooviest fucking part about the whole thing bro, are you ready for this? It’s gonna blow your mind!”
Eddie paused, looking at Andy, “well, are you ready?” he asked and laughed.
“Yes, I’m fucking ready, just tell me”, Andy said, laughing as he punched him on the arm.
“Okay, so check this bro”, Eddie said as he laughed, “Clare measures one gram and then she puts the gram in a little piece of plastic so that Cat can like, you know, wrap it for her, but here’s the thing, after she puts it in the plastic, she scoops out just a tiny bit, like maybe, I think ten percent or five percent or something like that and then she puts it aside. Now check this out, they do this for every single one of them, and now, they end up with their own little stash!”
“My, my, what greedy little junkies”, Andy said.
“I know bro, I know!” Eddie said, putting his hand up for a high five.
Andy reciprocated, “I’m impressed. So the husband doesn’t know anything about this?”
“Not a thing bro, so these dolls have their own little party going on there, they can sell some, they can use a little and like…” Eddie paused for a second as he looked to the door and then continued, “Man, it’s like mind blowing. Man, these dolls are here, let’s just chill with this conversation, I didn’t tell you the best part yet man, but we’ll get back there, let’s just sort them out first”.
Eddie stood up to greet Cat, which was short for Catherine, and another woman whom Andy had to assume was the infamous Clare. Cat was dressed in black leather pants and boots with a clingy black vest that showed off her numerous tattoos. Clare was a little more conservative, wearing a simple t-shirt with jeans.
Catherine came straight over to Andy and gave him a big hug, “hey you! Where’ve you been hiding yourself?”
“Oh, just here and there, I’m back for a little bit so I thought I’d catch up with everybody while I’m around”, Andy lied, not knowing why.
Cat turned to Eddie and gave him a kiss, “come, let’s sit over here at the table”, she said, leading Eddie away.
Andy went up to Clare to introduce himself. “Hi”, he said, offering her his hand, “I’m Andy, Eddie’s friend”.
“I’m Clare”, she said, taking his hand with a smile, “pleasure to meet you”.
“Likewise”, Andy said, returning her smile, “shall we?” he asked, leading her to the table.
When they sat down Cat was the first to speak, “I see you’ve met Clare already”.
“Yeah”, Andy said, “Eddie was just telling me that you’d gone to visit your cousin, so I put two and two together, although I don’t know why people use that expression, there’s only one of each of you”, he said with a little chuckle, attempting, rather poorly, to break the ice.
“We’re not actually cousins”, Clare said, “we’re just really good friends so we say that sometimes”.
“Well, any friend of Eddie’s and Cat’s is a friend of mine, what’s everybody having?” Andy asked as he stood up. They all specified their brand of beer. Andy took his leave and headed to the bar.
He called Mason over and ordered their drinks with a round of shots. First he took the beers to the table but when he returned for the shots, Mason intercepted him.
“Who’re the hotties?” he asked.
“They’re with him”, Andy said, pointing to Eddie.
“Spare one for you there”, Mason added. Andy laughed inside at Mason’s “glass half full” attitude.
“She’s married”, Andy said with a smile.
“That…has never stopped you before my son”, Mason said the words like he was proud, he patted Andy on the shoulder in an “attaboy’ kind of way.
Andy briefly wondered what drunken antics Mason had seen him perpetrate, before deciding that he’d rather not know. He was going to drink the thought away. When he returned to the table, he passed out the shots, they all said “Kampai”, meaning “cheers” in Japanese, and they drank. Andy and Eddie growled as usual, but this time Eddie pretended he was giving Andy a hug so he could whisper to him “do something so we can go finish the story bro”.
Andy reacted accordingly, knowing exactly what to do. The ladies were always very well dressed, at least he knew that Cat was, he had no doubt that they were both shopaholics. All he had to do was steer the conversation in the right direction and they’d be at it for no less than an hour.
“Hey, Cat, those are really pretty earrings, they’ve got that cool, mysterious eastern vibe, where’d you get em?” Andy asked.
“These?” Cat asked with a huge smile, “I know! I love them! There’s this little shop in the village…”
Clare interrupted Cat just then, “I know that place, it’s next to the Chinese take away place right?”
“Yes! That’s the place. You know they have the most amazing outfits there…”
The rest faded out in to white noise for Andy. Eddie leaned in close to Andy and whispered, “nice bro”, giving him a high five in the process.
“We’re going to be at the bar”, Eddie said to Cat, but all she did was shush him away dismissively. Andy’s plan had worked like a charm. They both found their earlier seats and planted themselves firmly.
“How was that bro!” Eddie said jubilantly.
“You just have to know which buttons to push”, Andy replied with a wink.
“You!” Eddie said, wagging his finger at Andy, “you!” His head joined in a nod, “you’re good you!” He said and laughed, slapping his thighs. It was a reference to a Robert de Niro movie.
Andy ordered another couple of shots for them and more beers before turning to Eddie, “So, you were saying?”
“What?” Eddie asked.
“You were telling me the story about Cat and Clare”.
“Oh yeah, where did I stop?”
“You stopped after you told me that they had their own stash”.
“Did I tell you all that?” Eddie asked in surprise, “jeez, you can’t tell anybody about that stuff bro, it’ll definitely come back to me”.
“Don’t worry about it, so what happened next?” Andy asked patiently.
“Okay, yeah, so you know how these guys work is like, they only work the crowd at that one club. There’s no one else bro. If someone that they don’t know calls them or something, they’ll just be like ‘we don’t know what you’re talking about’, it’s that simple. They’ll act like they don’t know anything about anything”. Eddie stopped to take a sip of his beer.
Andy noticed that Eddie had just jumped over a large portion of his story but he let it slide, this way he’d probably get to the end faster.
Eddie went on, “so, like, once a week man, they take a stash over to this club and then, just to the regulars, or like, the people that they know one hundred percent, they’ll sell stuff to them, but they sell a lot bro, and I mean a lot. So, like, now, the catering thing is just like, a front to do this other business”.
“Yeah? So what’s your interest in all this? I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s an interesting story, but you seem particularly fixated on the details of this operation. What’s the deal?” Andy asked candidly.
“Ah! You know me so well bro!” Eddie said with his patented brand of laughter, “look, I’m not saying that we’re going to like, actually do this or anything, but just like, to see the feasibility of it, I just wanna run something by you and you tell me if this is not a good idea”.
