Purgatory Blues (2013), page 20
“It’s Allen!” Andy announced, he was certain of it.
“Fuck you it’s Allen”, Jack said dismissively. “He stole your woman so now he’s always got to be the bad guy?”
“No, it’s gotta be him, he came in to Sink the same night that I got the stuff off that kid. Why else would he be there? He was meeting the dealer!”
“Prove it”, Jack said, staring Andy down.
“I feel it in my gut, I know it’s him Jack”.
“You know it’s him? You smug son of a bitch”, Jack said, laughing to himself. “You fucking dare come in here and throw around accusations like that?”
“You have to trust me on this, it’s him”, Andy pleaded. He was clinging to the one thing that he hoped could make things right between them.
“Trust you? You took two of my guys, without my permission, on an unsanctioned raid, needlessly putting their lives at risk. Why? Because you were thinking with your fucking cock! And you want me to trust you? You know what? Don’t even say another word, you’re out!” Jack spoke the words like a death sentence.
“You can’t do that!” Andy said, leaping to his own defense, “you need a club vote!”
“FUCK THE VOTE!” Jack shouted threateningly. “This is between you and me, after tonight…you’re gone, I don’t want to see you at the clubhouse again. Do I make myself clear?” Jack stepped right up to Andy with fire in his eyes. He wanted there to be no misunderstanding.
There was nothing that Andy could do. Everything that Jack said was true. There was no way to argue himself out of the situation without everyone learning what he’d done…he’d only bury himself deeper. He looked away, letting the words sink in. He hadn’t expected Jack’s reaction to be even remotely that severe. He looked back at Jack and by then the blood had drained out of Andy’s face, he felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest. All he managed to do was to nod once in acknowledgement, but he couldn’t look up again.
Jack walked back to his chair and sat down. The fury had left him, he’d made his decision but it was by no means an easy one. He looked Andy square in the face and spoke, “I love you like a brother Andy, you know I do, but you’re out of control. I can’t let you take any of these guys down with you. I won’t let you do that. I’ll always be here if you need me, but you’re not to have any club dealings for the foreseeable future. I’m not going to tell any of the guys about this. If you manage to put your head on straight, I’ll be the first one to welcome you back to this house with open arms. Till then, I just hope you can find a way to make yourself better”.
Jack stood up and was almost at the door when Andy asked, “what happens now?”
“Well now you get to play the hero”, Jack said, turning around. His voice was a mixture of sarcasm and sadness, “that’s what you like isn’t it?” He sighed, feeling that he was being too hard on Andy, then continued, “tonight we vote, Eddie will get his patch, we’ll have a party to celebrate the new member in our ranks and I’ll have to come up with a lie to tell people how you captained Eddie’s assignment on my orders. Then I’ll have to tell them another lie about why you’re leaving for a while so they don’t figure out that you’re a fucking psycho with a death wish. That answer your question?”
Andy nodded, picking up his bag of money as he stood up.
“Leave the money”, Jack said. “The four hundred you gave your new fuck buddy is all you’re getting. The rest is going to the lawyers for Lee’s defense so we can un-fuck what you fucked up”.
Andy let the bag drop to the table and looked Jack in the eyes, “I’m sorry”, he said, “for a lot of things”.
“No you’re not”, said Jack, “not yet anyway”.
They both left the council room and found Eddie and Dennis sitting at the bar. Jack put his arm around Andy as they walked towards them both, he didn’t want them thinking that there was any bad blood between himself and Andy.
“Everything okay?” Dennis asked Andy and Jack as they approached.
“Yeah, everything’s fine”, Jack said, “get four glasses and that bottle over there”.
“Here, let me”, Andy said to Dennis, “you’re one arm short remember?”
Andy poured the four whiskeys and spread them out on the counter. When everyone had one in their hands Jack made a toast, “good work boys, you’ve all made me very proud, especially you Eddie”, he said, grabbing Eddie’s shoulder, “now, let’s get hammered!”
They all touched glasses and drank their whiskies, slamming their glasses down on the counter when they were done.
Andy poured round after round until the bottle was nearly done, at which time Jack announced that he’d have to go make some calls to ensure that everyone would be present for Eddie’s vote at six o” clock in the evening.
When he was out of earshot, Dennis was the first one to bring up the subject of the shouting in the council room. “So?” he asked, “you gonna tell us what happened or do you need a few more shots first?” Dennis had a huge grin on his face. Andy thought that it was either because of the alcohol or because Dennis just loved it when he was in trouble.
“Jack wasn’t too happy that I put you guys in danger like that”. Andy wasn’t about to tell them the whole truth. The small statement would have to suffice.
“I think we comported ourselves most admirably, wouldn’t you say so young sir?” Dennis said to Eddie in a mock English accent.
“Indeed bro, indeed”, Eddie replied, failing at the accent terribly.
At that moment Andy’s phone began to ring, it was Sharon. “I’ve got to take this guys, I’ll be back in a minute”, he said.
Eddie and Dennis were too wrapped up in their own conversation to care so Andy left them without another word and walked outside. “Hi there”, he answered.
“What time are you going to come over baby?” Sharon asked.
“I can’t come there, but you could come here if you like. Eddie’s going to get his patch tonight…so it’s kind of a big deal. There’s going to be a party later”, Andy said.
“Where’s here and what patch?” Sharon asked. Andy had forgotten that she didn’t know anything about him being in the club, they’d never talked about it before.
“Well, Eddie is a friend of mine and we’re in a motorcycle club called the Vicious Reapers. Getting your patch means that you’ve earned the right to be a full member”.
“Wow, I didn’t know you were one of the Reapers. I’d always heard about them but I never met one. That’s so cool! My boyfriend is a Reaper”, she said excitedly.
Andy laughed, not only because she thought it was cool but also because she’d called him her boyfriend. “Only for a little while longer”, he said, “after tonight I’m stepping aside for a while. Do you know where the club is?”
“Of course I do, it’s hard to miss the big sign, as soon as Jen gets back from school and she has her dinner, I’ll ask her to watch the bar and then I’ll come over”.
“Okay, just tell them you’re with me if anyone doesn’t want to let you in”.
“See you soon babe”, Sharon made several kissing noises on the phone.
Andy couldn’t help but smile. “See you soon”, he said and cut the call.
When Andy got back inside he felt sadness wash over him. He’d only just come back and after tonight he’d have to leave again. It was like being kicked out of your own home. More than anywhere else in the world, he’d always felt like he would be welcome at the club. “Brothers for life”, he thought to himself, “what a crock of shit”.
He decided that if he was going to leave on good terms with everyone then he was going to have to fill the void in his soul with plenty of alcohol. He went back to the bar and proceeded to get drunk with Dennis and Eddie.
Around five thirty, Dennis decided to relieve himself and knowing that it could take him a while with just the one arm, Andy thought it would be a good time for Eddie and himself to sober up. Andy gave Eddie the signal once Dennis had left and Eddie answered, “Yeah bro, let’s go”, with a big smile.
Andy didn’t want to risk doing it in broad daylight right inside the clubhouse, so he took a quick drive after putting a little section of the uncut on a hardcover book for Eddie to chop. They did the usual routine and were back at the club just as Dennis walked out of the men’s room.
People had started to drizzle in by then and Andy had a lot of old friends that he’d have to greet and catch up with. There was Page, Ty and Ash. A clique that mostly kept to themselves but were always up for a party. They were the thinkers of the bunch, prone to long conversations dissecting various literary or scientific phenomena.
Then there was Burt, Maurice, Tam, Chanelle, Neil and Jared. That group drank hard and fought hard, but at the same time, were very easy-going people. More often than not if they weren’t at the club, you’d find them at another bar together having a good time.
There was also Shane, Bryce and Luke. Quiet types that mostly kept to themselves, but were also really good musicians.
You needed a majority vote to confirm a new member and this turnout meant that Eddie was well liked. It was much more than was required. There were a handful of other people around that Andy didn’t know but Dennis explained that they had been patched with the last group of prospects.
Being a prospect was sort of like an internship. You did what the members asked of you until they’d decided that you’d earned the right to wear the colors. You could ask for a vote but no one had ever done that. It was considered bad form and jumping the gun was just as likely to have you thrown out.
By a quarter past six Jack called everyone in to the council room. As the voting members began passing through the doorway Jack turned to Eddie, “you wait out here, we’ll be back in a little bit”, he said with a sly looking smile.
Andy was still sitting at the bar and made no move to join them so Jack called to him from the door, “Andy, you gonna speak for Eddie as his Captain?”
“You got this right?” Andy asked sullenly.
Jack nodded once and closed the door behind him, at which point Eddie came up to Andy looking a little panicked, “why aren’t you going in bro?”
“I haven’t been around in a long time”, Andy said, “it’ll be better if the recommendation comes from Jack. Don’t worry about it”. The words were reassuring and served to restore Eddie’s calm.
Just then the front door opened and Melissa came in. She saw Andy at the bar and flashed him a big smile. She hurried up to him saying, “sorry I’m late babe, I was selling a fancy man a fancy guitar”. She put her arm around him and gave him a kiss on the lips. Melissa worked at a music store during the day, which is where Andy had first met her. She turned to Eddie and tussled his hair, “how you doing sweetie?”
“Nervous”, Eddie answered.
“Have they started yet?” She asked.
“Just now, you can still go in”, Andy answered.
“Okay, I’ll see you guys in a bit”, she said and gave Andy another kiss, he returned her enthusiasm and made it last.
“Mmm, somebody missed me”, she said as she pulled away.
She was blocking Andy’s view enough that he didn’t see Allen walking in. When she stepped away Andy and Melissa both turned to see Allen at the main door. His face was expressionless, yet he held a stare that could only be interpreted as severe dissatisfaction. Neither Melissa nor Andy said anything. There was nothing to say.
Allen suddenly turned and walked towards the council room, Melissa squeezed Andy’s thigh once, shot him a look with a raised brow and then followed Allen in.
“What the fuck bro?” Eddie asked.
Andy burst out laughing and Eddie began to chuckle as well, “what?” Eddie asked again.
“Don’t worry, it’s a really, really long story”, Andy said as he reigned in his laughter.
Eddie persisted, “we’ve got time man”.
“Don’t burden yourself with the machinations of that oversized buffoon”, Andy said, making fun of Allen, “here, let’s have another drink”. Andy reached over the counter for another bottle of whiskey and poured them a fresh round.
“So, what was Jack talking to you about when I got here earlier?” Andy asked.
Eddie suddenly looked very uncomfortable. He shifted from side to side and seemed reluctant to even make eye contact with Andy. He picked up his drink and downed it. Finally he turned to face Andy with eyes that made him look like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.
“It was about last night bro”, Eddie said. “Like, I just couldn’t stop thinking about the whole thing. We talked it out and, you know, man, I felt a lot better after talking with Jack bro”.
Andy thought that he had all the compassion of a bag full of dirt when he heard Eddie’s words. He’d abandoned him the night before. He’d captained the mission and he knew that it was Eddie’s first time, and it wasn’t something as simple as being on a bike run…what Eddie had done the night before was something that none of them had ever done. He’d told him that they’d talk later but they never did. He’d left Eddie alone with his thoughts all night. Andy couldn’t begin to imagine what must’ve been going through Eddie’s mind since then.
“I’m really sorry about everything Ed, I mean it, I shouldn’t have just left you like that last night”, Andy said and put his arm around Eddie.
“It’s okay bro, I know things were moving pretty fast last night. I’ll be fine”, Eddie said, sounding optimistic as usual.
“Did you call Cat and the rest of your friends?” Andy asked, hoping to change the subject.
“Yeah bro, they should be here in a few minutes in fact”, Eddie answered.
Eddie was silent after that. Andy could see that he was deep in thought. He shouldn’t have brought up the conversation with Jack, but it was out in the open then and he knew he had to ask, “What did Jack tell you?”
Eddie paused for a moment before responding, “Well, like, you know how you have to react in certain situations right? And you let your conscience guide you. I know that I did the right thing bro. It was us or them you know? But, like, it still doesn’t feel good. So Jack was like, it’s not supposed to feel good. That’s how you still know you have your humanity”.
Andy wondered if he still had his own humanity intact. He’d bounced back from the episode rather quickly with the aid of alcohol and drugs. He’d already managed not to think about anything from the night before for almost the whole day.
“Hey”, Andy said, “I wouldn’t have had anyone else there last night, you saved our asses”.
“Thanks bro, I’m thanking the man upstairs though, it just happened you know? I wasn’t thinking”, Eddie said with a half smile.
“That’s how it goes kid”, Andy said and playfully punched him on the arm. “How about one last recharge before the festivities get under way?”
“Sure bro”, Eddie said, looking a little more upbeat at the thought.
Andy and Eddie did a line each in the men’s room. Everyone who mattered was in the council room so they knew it wouldn’t look suspicious.
It was getting on to seven “o clock when everyone started spilling in to the bar area of the clubhouse. Each member had a lot of friends and those friends had, in turn, all come to know every other member quite well. It was like an extended family. Today everybody would get to meet Eddie’s friends for the first time. Someone threw some ‘Meshuggah’ on to the bar’s sound and the club’s barman began manning the counter to pour drinks for everyone who came in. As usual, only members drank free.
The sound tech arrived and began setting up everyone’s gear. People started gathering in little groups, making small talk with each other, exchanging greetings and making introductions. Occasionally someone would come up to Eddie to congratulate him and he’d have to tell them that the members were still voting in the other room. A few people came to Andy and asked if he was writing anything new, he told them that he was taking a break and lied that he was researching his next project.
Soon the party was in full swing and the bar was packed with faces familiar and foreign. Someone changed the tunes to “Monster Magnet”, then to “Kyuss” and then to “Black Sabbath”. Eddie had loosened up considerably and was having a great time when the door to the council room opened up.
All the voting members left the room with smiles on their faces save Allen and Melissa, both of whom were engaged in a stifled argument consisting of hand gestures, controlled tones and joyless expressions.
Jack made his way through the crowd to the microphone on the stage, winking at Eddie on the way. “Hey, shut up!” he growled menacingly. The music stopped immediately and the horde was reduced to silence. Jack gave everyone a big smile and then laughed, putting everyone at ease.
“Okay”, Jack began, “some of you know why we’re here, some of you don’t. For those people, I’ll give you the short version. Last night some of our boys went on a mission. If you don’t know what it was, I’m not going to tell you because then I’d have to kill you”. Jack laughed. Everyone in the crowd laughed along with him, but those who didn’t know him very well laughed a little more nervously…not knowing if it was a joke or not.
“Anyway”, Jack continued, “they did a hell of a job, not just because they were captained by one of my oldest and closest friends, the immortal Andy Maureau. Andy get up here”.
Andy walked up on to the stage and tapped Jack on the shoulder before he moved over to the left and waited, facing the crowd.
“It was a success, not only because Dennis Layne was there to save Andy’s ass!” The crowd laughed at the comment as Jack motioned for Dennis to join Andy on the stage.
“It was a success because one of our long time prospects showed the courage, fortitude and bravery that’s expected of a Reaper. Tonight we’re gathered here to honor him as he joins our ranks. This is a man who has proven himself worthy to wear the colors”, Jack paused for a moment and waited for the crowd to simmer down. “Edward McMann, welcome brother”, Jack said, offering his hand to Eddie.
