Purgatory Blues (2013), page 21
The crowd tore in to applause. Jack pulled Eddie up on to the stage and gave him a bear hug. When Jack at last let go of Eddie he reached into his jacket, pulling out a large round patch baring a reaper with a skull face holding a scythe and handed it to Eddie. Eddie took the patch and held it up for everyone to see amidst another detonation of applause.
Eddie sidled up to the microphone and pointed at everyone before saying, “that’s right bitches, the reaper is coming for all of you!” The smile on his face was pure elation.
Jack pulled the microphone stand back to himself and growled, “let’s party!”
Jack took his Fender bass guitar out of the case and Luke handed Andy his Gibson Les Paul before getting behind the drums. Jack looked at Andy and nodded towards the microphone, indicating that Andy should sing. When Andy stepped up to the microphone, Jack began belting out the opening riff to “Ace of spades” by “Motorhead”. As soon as Andy’s guitar riff kicked in, Jack pushed Eddie on to the crowd to surf his way through them.
Andy did his impersonation of Lemmy Kilmister, “If you like to gamble, I tell you I’m your man, you win some, lose some, it’s all the same to me”, the gravel in his voice emulated the legend perfectly.
As the song progressed Melissa came up to the front of the stage and began head-banging. Her long hair was built for it. When the solo came around Andy pointed the headstock of his guitar at her and shredded like a maniac. He was so involved in his playing that he didn’t notice Sharon working her way across the room, eventually coming to stand right along side Melissa, joining her in the dance of the metal heads.
The cheering at the end of the song was monstrous. Everyone on stage took a bow and Jack signaled the bartender to start a playlist that began with “Motley Crue”. They put their instruments down on stands and rather than use the stairs, Andy jumped off the stage and landed directly in front of Melissa and Sharon, both of whom were in conversation with each other.
They looked to Andy as he approached. Melissa was to his right and Sharon to his left. Melissa, being the taller of the two, was holding Sharon around her shoulders with her right arm. “Liz was just telling me that tonight is her first time here, can you believe that?” Melissa said with a big smile, looking a little flustered from the exertion. She seemed to think that she had made a new friend.
Liz casually stepped away from Melissa toward Andy, “I knew handsome here played guitar, but he never told me he was a Reaper. That was so sexy babe”, she said, putting her arms around Andy’s neck and pulling him down for a kiss. He didn’t resist, he put his arms around her waist and pulled her in closer.
Melissa’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped in shock. Her surprise turned to anger in less than two seconds. “What the fuck!?” Melissa shouted and ripped Liz off of Andy so fiercely that she’d spun her around on the spot, almost pushing her over.
“Hey!” Liz screamed as she corrected her balance.
Melissa was about to attack her when Andy put his arm up between them, separating them with an invisible barrier of impending explanations. He pushed Liz behind him to protect her from Melissa and then turned to Liz, “why don’t you go get yourself a drink while I have a little talk with Melissa babe?”
“What the fuck Andy?!” Liz yelled, indignant and embarrassed. Her confusion stemmed from the fact that she couldn’t understand why Melissa had been so nice one second and then assaulted her the next. Melissa waited with her claws out, smoldering.
“Liz, please, I’ll be there in a little bit, go on”. Andy managed to convince her, realizing at the same time that the days of calling her Sharon were now a thing of the past.
Liz turned and walked away, but not before giving Melissa a deathly cold stare that would have turned flesh to stone if not for the laws of physics. Melissa was breathing heavily and the rage was bubbling out of her. Her face was red and her eyes were beginning to get a glassy look, the prelude to a flood of tears. “What the FUCK is going on Andy?” She managed to ask through a shaky voice bordering on hysteria. He could see that she was barely holding herself together.
Andy by contrast showed little emotion at all. “Do you want to talk in the office or out here?” he asked as though he were chastising her for the outburst.
Melissa stormed off towards the office and Andy followed. Ash appeared in her path attempting to break her stride and offer her a plastic cup of draught but she slapped the cup out of his hand and continued on her way. The beer landed in a splash tainted with rejection.
“It’s okay, bad mood, they cancelled her favorite TV show”, Andy said to Ash as he trailed her wake.
The office was a small space reserved for the bar manager. Melissa burst in, banging the door against the adjacent wall. “GET OUT!” She bellowed to the young man behind the desk. He was out of his seat before he’d even heard the words and bolted the way a gazelle runs from a lion. As soon as the manager was out and Andy was inside she slammed the door so hard that the room shook. “Well?” Melissa asked, holding back her tears.
Andy looked at her, trying to gauge exactly how angry she was, but decided that he’d never seen her quite like that before. “Did you think that I joined a monastery after Elsa died?” he asked.
“Of course I didn’t think that!” Melissa said, even though she hadn’t really considered the fact that he might have been with someone else. She did, however, gather a little more composure over herself at the realization, “but what the fuck is she doing here and why does she think that you two are together?”
“Because we are kind of together, we’ve been seeing each other for a while now, it’s been going on a few months”, Andy spoke the words as though he had no feelings for their meaning one way or the other, it was simply the truth.
“And when the fuck were you planning on telling me this?” She tried to control her anger, but it was an exercise in futility.
“I don’t know, it never seemed to come up”, Andy said casually.
“It never seemed to come up?” Melissa asked in rhetorical disgust. “You fucking bastard!” She slapped Andy across the face hard enough to sway his body. “I do everything for you! I’ve always been there! Always! And this is what I get?”
She was about to go on but Andy interrupted her, “hold on a sec”, he said, pretending to be deep in thought and stroking his beard. “Always?” he asked, squinting his eyes and raising an eyebrow. “What about that time that you betrayed me, cheated on me and ripped out my fucking heart?” Andy’s enunciation towards the end of the sentence made him sound like he was certain that he was right and she was emphatically was wrong.
“I knew you would throw that in my face”, she said with all the drama of a thespian, as though he’d scored an illegal point in a game.
“Oh wait, I know what you were thinking”, Andy said, feigning ignorance, “you thought that just because you showed up and we fucked that I’d automatically drop everything and come running back!” Andy waited for a response from Melissa but there wasn’t one. She only returned him a look of anger. She couldn’t understand why he was doing this and on some level, neither could he.
“Yeah? Something like that?” Andy prodded. “And what was I supposed to tell Liz? Sorry, but the woman who fucked my best friend and broke my heart a few years ago is back so I think I’ll see how it goes with her for a little while. I’ll let you know if it doesn’t work out”. His sarcasm was thicker than brick. “How about that?” Andy waited for a response once more, but still, none was forthcoming. “What about, sorry Liz, I’m just going take my chances with Melissa till she screws me over again, I promise I’ll be back in a year tops!”
“I wouldn’t do that”, Melissa said, almost choking on the words. She desperately wanted him to believe her and it pained her deeply that he even thought that way about her.
“And how do I know that?” Andy asked with venom in his voice. “The second time’s gotta be easier than the first”.
Melissa couldn’t help letting her tears out, she’d held them back long enough. She sat down behind the desk and suddenly the weight of her own body was too much to lift. “So what was this all about? I hurt you so now you have to hurt me back? You had to make me see you with her? Was tonight all about some fucked up version of revenge?”
“Nothing so calculating M, I knew you’d both be here tonight but beyond that, I didn’t plan anything. I’ve been drinking all day and I’ve had bigger things on my mind. The absolute truth is that I really don’t give a fuck anymore”. Andy shook his head involuntarily. He felt tired, like someone had cut his brake line and his boots were worn to the soles. He’d known that something like this would happen tonight and he’d made no attempt to stop it. He did the opposite. It was like he was hurtling toward a set of headlights in the dark and he didn’t want to swerve. These were the fruits of his labors. “I guess I’ve been waiting for the universe to point out which way to go”.
“But the last few days”, she said between the tears, “today, when you kissed me, I know you love me, you can’t fake that”.
“And I know that you love me, and that’s why it hurts so much doesn’t it? Maybe now you can understand what it feels like”, Andy smiled, but it was a smile of sadness, “and this isn’t even remotely as bad as what you did to me. I cheated with you, not on you”.
“How many times do you want me to say I’m sorry?” Melissa asked, crying even harder. “Give me a number and I’ll say it!”
“I don’t want an apology”, Andy said softly as he knelt beside her and stroked her cheek, “I want a time machine”.
Melissa laughed and he saw a glimmer of a smile on her face. She held his face gently in her hands. “Fuck you Andy”, she said sweetly and then looked into his eyes for what seemed like the longest time…“I love you so much, sometimes I wish I didn’t”.
Melissa stood and walked to the door without another word, when she’d left the office Andy sat down in the chair and wondered briefly if he should go after her, but then thought better of it. He wanted to hold her and tell her that everything would be okay, but he couldn’t make that promise. He decided it would be better if they both had some space. He walked out of the office just in time to see Melissa leaving the bar with her helmet and gloves. She was going home.
Andy went directly to the bar counter and found Liz waiting for him anxiously. “What the fuck just happened Andy?” She asked, sounding like the irate girlfriend that Andy never thought she could be.
“That was my ex that I told you about”, Andy answered delicately, “she’s gone now and it’s over. After tonight, I’m not going to be back here for a long time. It’s over, alright?”
“That was so fucking embarrassing”, Liz said, “I feel like everyone in the room was watching us”.
“Don’t worry, no one even saw, they were all looking at Eddie. Let’s get hammered”, Andy said with a smile, “it’ll take your mind off it”.
“Fine”, she said in that typically feminine way which meant “I’m angry but I’m going to go along with this”. She attempted to flag down the bartender when Andy stopped her.
“Don’t worry about that”, Andy said, “members drink free”. He went behind the bar, grabbed four beers, a bottle of whiskey and several shot glasses, which he took with him to a free table.
“Nice”, Liz said as they sat down.
Andy spotted Dennis and Eddie amongst the crowd and waved them over to join him and Liz. They spent the next two hours drinking hard and playing a game that Andy and Liz had invented. Throughout the night, whenever one person left the table, someone else that they knew would join them, it was like conversational musical chairs. After some time they’d come back to the original four.
The game was that one person had to name any three things about a movie…the director, composer of the score, one or more actors, the director of photography and so on and so on. The person to the left of the one asking the question had to guess the name of the movie and then it moved round the table.
Andy had caught Eddie with, “directed by Ridley Scott, starring Rutger Hauer and Daryl Hannah”.
“Ah bro, you’ve got to give me a little more than that man!” Eddie complained.
“This is so easy you retard”, Dennis said and rolled his eyes.
“Shut up!” Liz squealed, pinching Dennis playfully.
“Okay”, Andy volunteered, “it was made in the eighties and also starred Sean Young and Edward James Olmos”.
“What fucking kind of movie has all of those people in it?” Eddie was completely lost.
“He’s practically giving it away moron”, Dennis pushed Eddie’s chair with his foot and had it on two legs for just a second.
Eddie quickly corrected his balance and landed safely, “Be careful bro, I’m a member now, you have to be nice to me”, he said to Dennis and laughed.
“That’s not true at all, don’t brothers fight, Andy?” Dennis asked.
“Sure they do”, Andy said and gave Eddie a wet-willy.
Everyone at the table burst out laughing, including Eddie. “Gross bro!” He screamed through the laughter.
“It was ‘Blade Runner’ douche bag”, Dennis said, punching Eddie on the arm.
Liz gently scratched Andy’s thigh with her nails and motioned toward the bar with her eyes.
“We’re going to get another drink, if anyone wants to step in, let them”, Andy said, “we’re too good for you guys anyway”.
“Have fun!” Liz said to them both, reaching over to tussle Eddie’s hair.
Andy immediately noticed how both Liz and Melissa did the exact same thing with Eddie. His first thought was that they probably would have been friends if he hadn’t caused a rift between them.
“Come back and I’m gonna own you guys!” Eddie called after them.
Andy and Liz flashed him a middle finger and a smile in unison as they kept walking. They made their way to the bar counter and found two stools together. Andy signaled the bartender for another two beers.
“I like them”, Liz said.
“Yeah, me too. They are my friends though, so I guess that’s a given”, Andy said as an afterthought.
“Not necessarily”, Liz said after having trouble with the word “necessarily”, delivering it as “necessessarily’ in her slightly intoxicated state. They both laughed at her mistake.
“You’re cute when you’re drunk”, Andy said before he kissed Liz.
“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drunk”, Liz spoke close to him as though she were telling him a secret.
“Lots of practice”, he whispered back and kissed her again.
It was starting to look like a make out session when Page walked past them and said, “Get a room or start charging for the show guys”. With Page’s long her and dress style he looked more like a rock star than a biker or an academic. When Andy and Liz looked up after another minute they found him standing there, holding a shot in each hand. “Aww, isn’t that cute”, Page said playfully. “Here, you win a prize”.
Andy and Liz both took the offered shots and drank them down without a second thought, but recoiled at the vile taste as soon as fluid had made it past their throats.
“Fucking absinthe mother fucker!?” Andy forced out while coughing.
“Gotcha”, Page said happily, doing finger guns with both hands.
“I think I’m going to hit the water for the rest of the night”, Liz whispered to Andy with a little hiccup.
Andy nodded before chasing Paige across the room. He returned to Liz a minute later, “I think that burned some of the absinthe off”, he said, breathing heavily as he sat down next to her.
She’d just taken a sip of her bottled water when something caught her eye. “Hey, isn’t that the guy you were fighting with at my place?” She asked secretively.
Andy looked to where Liz had indicated and saw Allen making a beeline toward them. “Yeah, that’s the guy”, he said, sighing tiredly and anticipating the worst.
Allen sauntered up to them and stopped a few feet short, making eye contact with Andy. “Dick”, he said with a curt nod.
“Asshole”, Andy said and chuckled at the obvious phallic versus phallus joke which seemed to blow right over Allen’s head.
Liz couldn’t help laughing either but quickly stopped when she saw that Allen was still holding a malevolent stare with Andy.
“A word”, Allen said and motioned for Andy to join him in private conversation.
Andy was tempted to call back, “Here’s two, fuck off”, but then thought for a moment if it would be worth engaging in any sort of dialogue with Allen. Jack had already dismissed Andy’s suspicions about him being on the take and they’d called it even over Melissa, he couldn’t imagine what was left to say.
Something deep inside Andy didn’t want things to be even though. Today, the only thing that he thought was permanent in his life had been taken from him. He decided then that come hell or high water, he was going to leave with Allen knowing once and for all who the better man was. He pretended that it would be his goodbye present to himself.
Andy turned to Liz and whispered into her ear, “be careful”. He paused for a second considering what he was going to do and added, “Get ready to dodge”.
“Please don’t fight Andy”, she begged taking hold of his arm.
“Hey, I’m just going to talk, I don’t know what’s going to happen once I get over there”, he said innocently.
“Just don’t!” She said as Andy walked away.
“What?” Andy mouthed to Liz with his hands out, as though confrontation was the last thing on his mind.
When Andy got to Allen he put his arm around him so that they’d walk away from Liz. “Hey, Al”, he said. Andy then began speaking in hushed tones, forcing Allen to hunch so that he could listen, “you know, I’m done with Melissa now, I gotta tell you, I had a great time. She told me that it was just fucking amazing to be with a real man after so long. Anyway, you can have her back now. See you around chump”.
