Only The Trees Know, page 19
“Why do you remember Mr. Harrison?” Mr. Dawson asked.
“Because he and his little brat gang tried to kill me.”
“You’re saying four teenagers tried to kill you? Did you see a weapon? How did they threaten you?”
“Those are my woods,” Buckley said, getting agitated while he still stared at me. “They had no right to be there.”
“Going by that testimony, no one has the right to be in your woods?”
There was a long pause, then he began to shout, “Don’t put words in my mouth, devil.” He started twisting in his seat, fighting against the cuffs. He managed to stand up and lifted his hand as far as the chains would allow, his finger pointing in my direction. “That boy is evil.”
“I have no further questions, Your Honor,” Dawson said.
Chapter Thirty-One
BEFORE THEN…
SENIOR YEAR, LATE WINTER
Istood shivering in Zoe’s backyard. It was freezing and wet, miserable weather to be in. I’d come in through the side gate that was never locked, knowing that if I wanted to talk to her, I had to push the matter. She’d told me she didn’t want to see me, but I didn’t much care. If coming here was the only way to get answers, then I’d risk her anger and getting sick.
Zoe lived in a rundown neighborhood on the edge of the school district. She’d taken the bus until one of us began to pick her up. At first that hadn’t been a hardship. I’d made it a point never to be here for anything other than to offer a ride. Once she’d managed to scrape together enough for a beater car, I never came to her house after that.
The houses on this street were practically stacked on top of one another. Her backyard was tiny, no more than a small dirt patch. The fence that ran around the perimeter was broken and missing sections. A large dog barked at me from a neighbor’s house, its snout pushed through an opening between the slats, mouth open with teeth bared.
My cell vibrated in my hand. I read Zoe’s text, becoming pissed all over again.
I don’t want to talk to you.
Hatred soured like a tang in my mouth. Things had been fine last night. I didn’t think we’d last forever, of course. Our relationship was purely convenient. I’d thought that when we broke up, I’d be the one to do it.
And then she had dropped a bomb.
I hadn’t the least suspicion that she was a cheating whore.
Maybe I shouldn’t have led with that accusation when I’d called her earlier. I should have pretended I didn’t know until I had her cornered. Because now she ran scared. And that was not going to happen. She would face me and she would explain.
I’m not leaving until you talk to me. My anger grew as I typed.
Go away.
Hell no. Come down and face me, you coward.
There was a long pause in her response. I grew antsy, wondering if I should attempt to break in. Her parents would go balls out if they caught me. But it wasn’t exactly feasible to hang around outside in case her nosy neighbors called the police. And I refused to leave.
My phone beeped. Come back when you chill out.
I AM CHILL. But I knew I wasn’t. I hadn’t felt this out of control in a long time. The need to break something fired through me. Most of all, I wanted Zoe to look at me and tell me the truth to my face.
I have nothing to say to you, she texted.
I was having none of it. You’re my girlfriend, for fuck sake. Get your ass down here and stop being a baby.
Then the texts stopped. She didn’t answer for a long time. I waited and waited. Eventually I decided to do something about it. I refused to let her ignore me.
I picked up a rock, small enough to throw and one that would make a big impact against the glass. Then I hurled it as hard as I could. It hit the window with a loud crack. It didn’t shatter it, and that was probably good, because I only wanted to get her attention. But I kind of wished I’d broken it.
Seconds later the window opened. Zoe leaned out, loudly whispering, “Stop it.” Her newly dyed purple hair stood out starkly from the light of her bedroom. And while I couldn’t see her face very well in the shadows, I could tell she was seriously pissed.
Well, good. So was I.
“Come down here,” I said.
She looked behind her into the room a moment before she turned back to me. “I have company.”
I nearly blazed. She had time to socialize with someone else and not for explaining her betrayal to me? The only thing that kept me in check was that I’d seen Liam earlier, so I knew it couldn’t be him. “I don’t care. Get your ass out here or let me in.”
Zoe sighed. “I’m coming, keep your voice down. My parents will flip if you wake them.”
I didn’t bother to respond since she was already retreating inside.
The minutes ticked by slowly and Zoe didn’t appear. My already churning aggravation became too much for me to contain. I looked around for another rock. Bigger, hoping that this time it would shatter the damn window.
When she finally stepped out the back door, I’d gone to that place in my mind where I knew shit was about to go down and I didn’t care to stop it. That dark place was part of me. I loved it there, where I wasn’t responsible for my actions. I grabbed ahold of it. Thankful that it offered me comfort.
Zoe wasn’t alone. Kendall stood behind Zoe with her hands on her hips and glared at me.
I returned Kendall’s glare, just as irritated. Then I asked Zoe, “What’s she doing here?”
Kendall took her hands off her hips to cross her arms. “Your testosterone flexing is not appreciated.”
“She’s spending the night,” Zoe said.
“Tell her to go away,” I said.
Zoe looked from me to Kendall and then back to me and sighed. “She listens about as well as you. Come on.” She stepped away from the back door and crossed the yard to her tree house.
I’d never been inside and when I climbed up after her I realized that I could live happily never entering it again.
It looked as if she’d never cleaned it out. There were a number of abandoned childhood treasures collecting dust and molding. Creepy dolls looked back at me with glazed eyes. Books were stacked in every corner. She’d lined the walls with fashion magazines that were years out of date, the pages yellowed and peeling. Strung across the open window was a tattered and sun-bleached curtain. And strung across the ceiling were fairy lights that Zoe now plugged in.
She flopped onto one of the two bean bags in the corner of the room. Kendall took the other. There was nowhere left for me to sit, but that was okay, because I had too much energy. I paced on the small planked floor, my head ducked to avoid hitting it against the beams.
“I want to know the truth,” I said, cracking my knuckles.
“About what?” Zoe folded her hands together in her lap.
Her bland response ratcheted me up another notch. I growled when I asked, “Are you having sex with Liam?”
“Where’d you hear that?” she asked. I noted there was a complete lack of denial. She folded her arms and leaned back into the beanbag.
“From Liam.”
Zoe hesitated, and looked at Kendall. It was obvious Kendall knew the score. Did everyone know? Was I the fool who’d been oblivious?
“Just tell me the truth.” I stood over the top of her now, my hands twisted at my sides and my teeth clinched. I couldn’t feel parts of my body anymore, I was so far gone.
Kendall sat forward.
Zoe did the opposite, leaning back further and sighing. “Yeah, it’s true.”
“You fucking whore,” I screamed.
“Will you shut up,” Zoe hissed. “Don’t wake up my parents.”
“I don’t give a crap about your parents.”
She didn’t look guilty in the least. Or even remorseful. Instead she had a tiny smirk that made me want to slap her. Like she’d anticipated this reaction, and was happy that it happened. “You want me to care when I’ve heard the rumors. I’m not the only one who likes Liam.”
The words stung me and made me rage.
It was all her fault. EVERYTHING was her fault.
I couldn’t hold it in anymore. The power inside me needed to get out. So I unleashed it.
Zoe had a shelf displaying a collection of figurines. They were dusty and faded. I grabbed one, testing its weight before throwing it against the wall behind where they sat. It landed against the wood with a satisfying thud, sending the shattered remains flying onto the girls.
They screamed.
And I loved it.
The entire episode happened as if I was someone else observing, not the one hurling objects. Either way, I enjoyed knowing that I scared them. I got off on it. There was such power in frightening them and showing that they couldn’t mess with me.
I picked up another figurine and then another. Eventually I moved on, destroying everything in my path.
“Stop.” Zoe had risen from her bean bag to crouch in a corner. Her hands covered her face and she sobbed. “Please stop, Josiah. I’m sorry.”
The thing inside me felt satisfaction.
Kendall was an idiot, though. She’d stood and now stepped forward to square off. She waved her phone. “I’m going to call the cops, you fucker.”
“Shut up,” I pointed into her face. “You’ve got no part in this.”
“You don’t get to come in here and throw shit.”
“What are you going to do to stop me?” I asked.
Zoe moved then. She stepped around Kendall, her eyes flashing and her purple hair swaying. In her hand was a book that she chucked at me. “Go away.”
The book hit my chest.
I picked up another figurine and let it fly straight at Zoe. It missed her when she ducked out of the way. Debris from the ceramic cut her chin.
Seeing the blood made me smile.
“You’re crazy,” Kendall said, but at least now it sounded as if she feared me a little.
I glared at Zoe. “Why Liam? There are a million guys you could have slept with. Why did you have to pick him?”
“Because it would hurt you the most,” she said.
The words were like freezing water poured over my head. She was admitting she knew about Liam and me. I knew keeping it a secret from them was too much to hope for. We’d never discussed it and I wouldn’t now either. But it meant that I had to do something about it. Because it could not be made public.
I could have strangled her. Wanted to, even though I knew that it could land me in jail so I kept my distance, not trusting myself.
“Do you know what it’s like to date someone who doesn’t care about anything, especially me?” she asked. “I wanted to make you care. To make you see what you’re missing. Let me tell you, I’m not the only one who wants to hurt you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Why don’t you ask Liam why he betrayed you?” Kendall asked, smirking. She turned the screen of her phone to me, showing that she’d dialed 911. Her thumb hovered over the call button. “You need to leave.”
I didn’t want to listen to her, but I knew when I was beat. For the moment, at least.
I shook my head at Zoe. Done with this conversation and with her. She’d pay for her crimes.
Chapter Thirty-Two
NOW…
Dawson leaned forward on the podium while questioning my psychiatrist, Dr. Katherine Greener. She commanded the witness stand as she’d commanded our sessions. She’d been my psychiatrist for years now, and I’d hated her every second of our acquaintance.
Dr. Greener—“Call me Katherine,” she’d repeatedly instructed at our sessions as though it would make us friends and therefore I would impart all my secrets—hadn’t looked at me the entire time she’d been in court. Not as she’d been brought to the witness stand, not as she was sworn in, and not now that she gave testimony.
She stared straight ahead, quietly waiting to be addressed. Much like she’d done during our sessions. It freaked me out, truth be told. How walled off she was when she had expected me to be chatty and call her by her first name. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if she were more mentally unstable than I was.
Dawson started by dissecting her numerous awards and certifications before he moved on to questioning her directly about me. “How long have you treated Mr. Harrison?”
“He has been my patient for three years.”
“Why was Mr. Harrison brought to you for treatment?”
Dr. Greener adjusted her glasses. They were rectangles, slightly bigger than her eyes and the frameless kind that seemed to float on her face. I did not like them. They gave the illusion that her expressions would be transparent, and yet I continually failed to get a read on her.
She stared intensely at Dawson before answering, “His parents felt that he had trouble connecting with other people. Mr. Harrison displays a distinct lack of empathy. There are anger issues. His parents worried that he couldn’t control his outbursts.”
“What caused them to seek help?”
Again she paused, tilting her head as she slowly considered her words. It was a quirk that I’d found annoying on numerous occasions. Here, I actually appreciated it. “There were a few incidents at school where Josiah was disciplined for his outbursts with his teachers. Our time was spent working through his authority issues.”
“Were the incidences at school serious? Was Mr. Harrison ever expelled?” Dawson asked.
“No, the school allowed him to stay enrolled if he attended therapy. He showed marked improvement and there was no further action taken from the school. Nor were there any further incidents.”
“During your treatment of Mr. Harrison, did he show a willingness to be there?”
“Josiah never warmed up to therapy,” Dr. Greener said. “However, he did participate and we managed to work well together. I feel we did some really good work.”
I frowned. I’d learned more from my father in the aftermath of the school incidents than from her. Enough that I knew I didn’t want to repeat things that would attract his attention. It was easier to get away with stuff if people weren’t constantly on my ass, my father especially. Forgotten was forgiven.
Dawson’s demeanor changed as he transitioned into the tough questions. He stood to his full height, strengthening his spine. Making him appear bigger and wider than normal. “What did you conclude to be Mr. Harrison’s diagnosis?”
“Josiah has narcissistic tendencies,” she said.
“In layman’s terms that means what?”
“Josiah has trouble connecting with others. He seeks and requires excessive admiration. He is self-important, often exaggerating himself to make himself look better than his peers.”
I could feel the flush of anger heat my cheeks, making my head burn. She didn’t know me. She only thought she did from the little I’d told her. I’d lied to her as much as I’d lied to my parents. And this was exactly the reason. Secrets weren’t safe, so I didn’t trust anyone.
It turned out I was right. Here she laid me open for mocking on a national scale. It was embarrassing. I hated how she spoke with assurance, like she’d figured everything out.
She knew nothing. She’d decided who and what I was before I’d ever walked in the doors to her office. Probably paid off by my father.
I curled my fists together.
“How did those anger issues express themselves?” Dawson asked.
“Sometimes with rage, though more often with manipulation. Josiah can come off as cold, often displaying little to no emotion. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have emotion, just that he doesn’t display it to others. He can also present as arrogant and self-important with little empathy. It is important to note that he has a cognitive processing disorder where he can’t express himself like other people.” She paused and then added, “Keep in mind that all of this doesn’t make him guilty of a crime.”
Ms. Johnson stood, “Objection Your Honor, conclusion of facts.”
Judge Wallis immediately nodded and said, “Sustained.”
The objection and ruling didn’t put a hitch in Dawson’s questioning. He went on as if he hadn’t been interrupted. “You stated that Mr. Harrison was sent to work with you because he had moments of rage at school. In that time that you spent with him, were you afraid of his rages? That he would hurt other people?”
“Never. He always was perfectly behaved. I truly believe that with therapy he was able to modify his behavior in social situations. While he has displayed aggressive tendencies, he’s never physically harmed anyone.”
Dawson let a long pause draw out, like a master tactician, before he asked, “In your professional opinion, is Mr. Harrison capable of murder?”
Dr. Greener leaned forward into the microphone. “Absolutely not.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
THEN…
IN THE FOREST
Steps crunched in the woods to my right. I jumped and my pulse raced before I realized it was Liam. I let out a long exhale, “Dude, a little warning?”
“Sorry,” he said. “I found some berries.”
Pulling out his shirt, he showed me the makeshift pouch he’d fashioned to hold the red and green berries tucked inside. They didn’t look appealing. I had no idea if they were edible, or if we’d be puking up our guts within the hour.
I squinted at them. “They don’t look ripe.”
“At least it’s something to eat.”
I raised an eyebrow. “They could be poisonous.”
Liam considered and then he shrugged. “I’ll risk it. I’m starving. It’s been over a day since we’ve last eaten.”
“I’m starving too,” I admitted, though the growl my stomach gave would have outed me anyway. “I even considered eating tree bark.”
He laughed, a sound I hadn’t heard for days. It startled me. I stared at the curve of his mouth and the white, even teeth. Even with all the grime on him, Liam was stunning.
It was so unfair.
