Only The Trees Know, page 13
I still hadn’t let myself deal with the experience I’d been through. And I didn’t intend to.
The cool look Sanchez kept on his face was troubling. Then he looked at me again with that smirk, as if promising he’d make sure his testimony put me away.
I couldn’t help but feel that it might.
Chapter Nineteen
THEN…
IN THE FOREST
The last few feet to the summit were the hardest. My calves ached and my arms burned. If my lungs ever filled properly again it would be a miracle. The pack felt heavier on my back than it had the whole trip thus far. It pulled me back down the mountain, acting as a lodestone.
I fought against the pain, the weight, sliding my fingers along the rock searching for a handhold. My focus stayed on placing my feet into the crevices and not how much I wanted the climb to end. I leaned forward, scrambling up the final boulders. Exerting as much strength as I had left to lift me over the rim. It almost came as a surprise when I ended up crouched on my knees at the edge, looking out over the valley.
Sucking in air, I tried to refill my lungs. My forehead was pressed to the ground to keep the dizziness from sending me back over the side. I slipped the backpack off, wanting to fall down beside it. Instead I pushed myself to my feet, pacing away a few feet with my hands on my hips, sucking in as much breath as I could get.
The air was thin at this altitude, the cold snapping at my lungs. It left behind a sting that cleared my eyes and sinuses. I held in a breath, letting it burn the inside of my chest before exhaling.
There was a sickness that creeped in too, a lightness in my head. Both from the lack of oxygen and the exertion it took to get up the mountain. My stomach felt unsettled. It took a long while before I felt I was no longer in danger of passing out or throwing up.
I focused on my thirst after I felt a little better, swallowing warm water from my CamelBak. It tasted like earth and the charcoal filter we'd used to purify it. I wiped the back of my hand across my mouth, looking around.
The others had made it to the top. They were having a moment like I had where they were trying to catch their breath and there was a bit of backslapping going on. I wanted none of that, so I walked away from them.
There was a natural lookout hanging over the side that gave an amazing view of the valley. I headed that way, getting a bit too close to the drop off. Loose dirt skidded over the edge in a shower of pebbles. My foot slipped a bit, but the outcropping I stood on stayed solid.
Mount Conness was breathtaking. Not that I would admit as much to Liam. He didn’t need a bigger head, especially after every other fail of this trip.
It was twelve thousand, five hundred and ninety feet to the summit. I felt every inch of that trip both in the way my body ached and in the awe I felt looking out over the valley and the water below. Brown rocks spotted with snow surrounded a turquoise lake. The color of the water so bright that it should be unnatural. In the distance the mountain caps still had blankets of snow.
I savored that perfect moment knowing that those were few and far between and I wanted to remember this one forever. Closing my eyes, I tipped my head back. I spread my arms, stretching my body and pushed my fingertips out to the edges of my reach. Then I yelled out over the canyon, giving voice to the weird freedom I felt in that moment. The sound echoed, bringing my cry back to me in a clear tone.
Behind me Liam laughed. It was deep and full of happiness. A tempting sound at the best of times. His laugh never failed to melt me. My need to hear it again and again, to be the one who’d caused it.
I couldn’t stop my shiver of attraction. It ran through me like lightning. Turning, I watched, not able to ignore him.
The perfection of this place and being here with him, felt like my life almost aligned. I wished I could share this moment alone with Liam without the others and all their constant issues. If things were different, being here could have meant something. Because standing on the summit felt almost as perfect and beautiful as things had once been with Liam. And maybe if we had been alone we could have fixed what had gone wrong between us. Maybe I would have listened to him if he’d begged forgiveness. But that wasn’t reality.
Liam took off his pack and stretched. He looked amazing even though we hadn’t showered for days. Apparently I had a thing for dirty. He reached for a water bottle, drinking deeply. His head tipped back displaying his strong throat as he swallowed. Then he righted himself and licked his lips.
It was mesmerizing and never failed to make me question how one boy could be so attractive. There was a sexual charge to him that reached out and snagged anyone around. I hadn’t stood a chance. I looked away, not wanting to be caught staring, but realized it was too late. Zoe had noticed my interest. She watched me with a frown and narrowed eyes. And almost with—because maybe I misinterpreted it—a look of betrayal. Though why she would feel betrayed by me I had no idea when clearly she was the betrayer of the two of us.
“We did it.” Zoe threw herself into Liam’s arms and he caught her with a grunt. She gave him a look that was supposed to be sexy, or sultry, or whatever. “I’m glad I did this with you.”
“I’m glad I did it with you too,” he said, squeezing her.
I wanted to puke.
“I’m pretty impressed myself,” Parker agreed with wonder in his voice. “I’ll admit, there were moments where I almost said ‘fuck it’ and turned around and went home.”
“Aren’t you glad you didn’t?” Liam asked.
“Yeah, it’s pretty cool.” Parker had a rare smile on his face as he gave Liam a fist bump, their dispute apparently forgotten for the moment. Then Parker stepped to the edge near me. He looked out over the view with his hands on his hips, while I continued to torture myself watching Liam and Zoe.
“I told you this trip would be amazing,” Liam said to her, nuzzling the side of her neck. “And I was right.”
“You were,” she purred, her lips hovering inches from his. “You’re the best.”
They started to suck face, their tongues on overdrive as they dove into each other’s mouths. Liam moaned and grabbed Zoe’s ass. I’d thought that the loud tent sex and the strenuous hike today would have slowed them down. Apparently not.
It was all very showy and it made me wonder what they were trying to prove. Their PDA each day on the trail was more ridiculous than the last. The grabbing and rubbing so overtly sexual that it had to be for my benefit.
Even though I knew they wanted to make me jealous, it still bothered me. I couldn’t pretend it didn’t. More than anything else it broke my heart. I didn’t understand how Liam could be with Zoe when he swore he loved me.
Parker made a gagging sound that comprised of a snort, huff and wheeze. I turned realizing that he’d turned away from the view to watch Zoe and Liam. Then Parker rolled his eyes at me.
But Parker’s obvious disgusted noise hadn’t stopped Zoe and Liam’s aggressive makeout session.
I turned my back on them, sick by the whole thing. My stomach hadn’t fully recovered from the stress of the climb. Now it ached for a different reason. My fisted hand pushed against it, as if the press of it would take away the pain.
Not looking at them didn’t cut out the sound of their kissing. I tried to ignore it, to connect back to the feeling I’d had when I’d reached the summit, but the euphoria was gone. Washed away by hurt and a burning tide of anger. I gritted my teeth, feeling the ache in my jaw.
Loose dirt crunched under Parker’s feet. He’d turned from them too and stepped closer to me so that we stood shoulder to shoulder looking over the valley. “Is it me or has the face sucking gotten to vomit level during this trip?”
I felt thin and shredded when I replied, “It’s not you.”
My skin itched, making my fingers dance where they rested against my pants. Being this close to Zoe and Liam brought to the surface the conflicted feelings I normally managed to suppress. I’d become obvious with my attraction for Liam. Parker and Zoe had noticed, I was sure of it. That didn’t mean I wanted to answer questions.
Parker held his hands out in front of him, fingers spread. They shook as he flexed them. “Got anything, man? I’m hurting.”
I grunted. “I told you not to go through your stash so fast.”
“I don’t understand how you’re doing this trip almost sober.” He pushed his hand against his sweat-soaked brow, smearing dirt. Parker’s skin was paler than even his normal pasty white, and it had a sickly yellow tinge. The drugs and the physical activity had not mixed well.
When I didn’t respond, he changed tactics, whining like a two-year-old, “I know man, you were right. But you know the hike took it out of me. I’m wiped. This hiking shit is a lot harder than Liam told us it would be.”
He was pathetic and it disgusted me. “I don’t have anything to give you.”
“That’s crap. I know you have something.”
Of course I did, but I wouldn’t if he took it. “I told you I wasn’t gonna give you anything else.”
“I know you’re upset with me but help me out. A little bump to get me through the rest of the trip.”
I’d made it clear that I wasn’t a free dispensary. Especially since I wasn’t sure that Parker was a true friend.
I wasn’t sure that any of them were my friends, to be honest.
But I ended up saying, “Yeah, maybe I have something. I don’t know.” I gestured vaguely behind me, closing down the conversation. “I’m gonna walk the ridge a bit. I’ll check what I have when I get back.”
I walked away, stopping at my pack on the way past Liam and Zoe, who’d moved from kissing to groping. Riffling through it, I didn’t care what spilled out. I couldn’t be bothered with that right now. The need to get away from all of them was too great. When I found the water bottle that I’d squirreled liquor in, I snagged it, leaving my bag open.
The bite of cold prickled my skin as I stepped around patches of snow. I stopped at another ledge farther down the ridge line, far enough away to where I couldn’t see the others any more.
I swigged at the alcohol, loving the burn. If I could directly inject it into my bloodstream I would. Putting up with the three of them on a daily basis had brought into sharp relief how very little I had left in life. It made me question why I forced myself to hang with them. There was nothing left for Liam and me. I knew that. I’d come to terms with it. And I still stuck around to watch him fuck me over.
It would be simple enough to end my suffering. All I would have to do was step over the edge and fly. Then the pain would stop. For the moment I’d be free, weightless. The king of my world.
I’d thought about it often. Never before, though, had it felt like a sane option. In this moment, I found that the possibility had merit. I could live if I died.
Finishing the last of the alcohol, I chucked the empty bottle over the side. I watched it fly, strangely jealous of a piece of plastic. It touched against the side of the mountain and bounced up, the container twisted, fell, and bounced again.
And then it disappeared, leaving me in silence.
I exhaled.
If I ended my life, they would never know what they’d done to me. None of them. They’d never pay. They’d never admit they’d wronged me. That they’d fostered this hurt inside me until it had become too big to live with. Death was permanent and I could end this existence any time. To have them continue to live in the delusion of their perfect lives couldn’t be borne. It would be admitting defeat.
I would not allow them that gift.
I turned and began to walk back to the group, not feeling any better and I probably never would. From this distance, I could see that Liam and Zoe had finally stopped their public sex exhibition. Parker stood facing them. There was anger in his stance. His body was tight and shoulders hunched forward.
Even though they were angry, they kept their voices low. I could tell that they were exchanging heated words, though I was still too far away to overhear their conversation.
Too focused on themselves, they didn’t notice that I was making my way back. I increased my pace, hoping that if I got close enough I’d get a clue as to what the beef was between them.
It worked.
“I’m gonna tell him, man,” Parker said, leaning forward threateningly into Liam’s face. He was a little shorter than Liam and a lot skinnier, so he looked like an eighth grader attempting to go up against the schoolyard bully.
Liam didn’t look the least intimidated. He’d hunched forward as well. His hands in fists at his side. “You’d better not.”
Zoe’s arms were folded, looking back and forth between them. She stepped into Liam’s side, making it clear who she agreed with.
“You took them,” Parker said.
Liam snorted and rolled his eyes. “Dude, you are fucking delusional. You don’t know what you’re saying half the time.”
“I’m not delusional,” Parker yelled. “Give them back to me.”
“Give what back?” Liam taunted.
“You know what. I know you took it.”
“I didn’t take anything,” Liam insisted. “Back off.”
“You’re an idiot,” Zoe said to Parker.
Parker looked at her, pointing a finger at her chest. “Stay out of this, bitch.”
Liam put himself in front of Zoe. “Don’t talk to her like that.”
“You’d better give me the money, or I’ll do a lot more than threaten her,” Parker promised.
“I don’t have any money to give you, and if I did you still wouldn’t get it. So I don’t know why you’re all up in my face.”
Which was exactly what I’d been thinking. Out of the four of us, Liam had the least, even after Zoe’s family. Why would Parker pressure Liam for money when that was the last thing Liam would have? Liam wasn’t a hardcore drug user either. He occasionally smoked pot, but he stayed away from the pills. It wasn’t like he was an addict. Besides, if he wanted pills he would have asked me for them instead of going to Parker. I’d been sure of that, at least until this moment. Maybe that was another secret Liam hid from me. I was finding out that Liam had kept a lot from me.
Liam and his fucking secrets, he could rot with them.
Even so, I didn’t want Liam to give Parker money. If he did, it would be gone before it made its way into my pocket. Parker would snort it, or inject it, and I’d never get what he owed me.
Most of all I was pissed that Parker was pressing Liam in a way that I hadn’t ever pressed Parker. I wanted my damn money too. I’d never threatened him and realized maybe I should have.
“I don’t care how you get it. Just get the fucking cash,” Parker said.
“If I give you the money, what then?” Liam asked. “There’s no end to your threats. You’ll come back in a week demanding more.”
That much was true. Good for Liam for knowing it. This might be the very first time any of them had been honest. I relished it and wanted to hear more.
Unfortunately, they all saw me and the conversation ended abruptly. Parker walked away while Liam and Zoe began to set up their tent in silence.
Chapter Twenty
NOW…
“Miss Rivera, you were close friends with Zoe Adler, is that correct?” Sophia Johnson asked Kendall from where she stood behind the podium between the prosecution and defense tables.
Kendall leaned forward and spoke into the microphone. “Yes.”
“How long were you and Miss Adler friends?”
“We met in fourth grade, but we didn’t really start hanging out till seventh.” Kendall paused, a tear dripped down her face. She lightly dabbed at it with a tissue and took a large indrawn breath before she added, “We were best friends until she was brutally murdered.”
She glared at me.
I glared back.
Dawson stood, his hand running down the length of his tie. “Objection, Your Honor. Conjecture. The question of whether Miss Adler was or wasn’t murdered is yet unproven and a question that is posed to the jury.”
“Sustained.” Judge Wallis turned to Kendall, “Miss Rivera, answer the questions asked, and avoid adding commentary.”
She continued to dab at her eye with a tissue, looking contrite. “I’m sorry, Your Honor.”
What a crock of shit.
Her whole presence, including this performance on the stand, was laughable. Whoever ran the show on the prosecution’s side had cleaned her up. There was no way Kendall had done it herself. Her hair had been straightened and cut. It was shiny and bouncy, her bangs heavy and even across her forehead, now out of her eyes. She wore a minimal amount of makeup too, making her look younger.
She wasn’t wearing her own clothes, either. They’d dressed her preppy-ish but more casual, like she wasn’t trying. She looked attractive. Which was completely shocking, to be honest. I hated myself a little for thinking it.
“Evidence presented to the court indicates that Miss Adler spent the majority of her time with Mr. Harrison, Mr. Kirkpatrick, and Mr. Crandall, including her lunch period.” Ms. Johnson said. “Did you eat with them as well?”
“We had different lunch blocks, so we couldn’t have lunch together at school.” Kendall shrugged. “We hung out a lot after school. Almost every other day and most weekends.”
Lies.
“I considered Zoe my best friend,” Kendall continued. “We made it work even though she started to spend more and more time with Josiah and his friends. She still made time for me.”
I frowned. As far as I knew, Zoe and Kendall hadn’t talked in the last few weeks before the hiking trip. Then again, I knew little of what happened during the time when she’d sucked face with Liam.
“What about the period of time directly before the hiking trip? Can you describe your relationship with Miss Adler?” Ms. Johnson asked.
