Only The Trees Know, page 14
“There was some distance in the last few months,” Kendall admitted. “Our relationship was strained.”
“What was the reason for that?”
“We had a fight about her hanging out with the boys.”
“What was the fight about?” Ms. Johnson asked.
“Zoe had changed.” Kendall shrugged. “The more she hung out with them, the less she acted like herself.”
Again, lies. This girl was incredible with her dramatic recall. We didn’t want her hanging out with us because she was irritating. I’d personally told Zoe to get rid of Kendall more than once.
“How did she change?”
“She stopped being nice. Started keeping secrets.” Kendall’s mouth thinned as she glared my way again. “She’d act normal if she was away from them for longer than a day, but if I saw her right after they’d hung out she was too pissy to deal with. Plus, they made me feel uncomfortable.”
Ms. Johnson tipped her head to the side. “What specific things did the boys do that made you feel uncomfortable?”
“Well,” she made a face like she was about to say something horrible, “they took drugs all the time. There were always pills or something to smoke around. And if it wasn’t that, they were drunk.”
“And Zoe? Did she take drugs as well?”
Kendall nodded. “She didn’t want to, but she was pressured into it. That was what most of our fights were about. I didn’t want any of that. I don’t do drugs.”
Bullshit. I coughed, loudly. Kendall had been over my house snorting my pills too many times to count. She was as much of a drug whore as Zoe had been.
Stupid Number Two glared at me. He shoved me in the side with his elbow. I’d have a permanent bruise by the time this trial was over.
I couldn’t believe that anyone would believe this. Yet, when I looked at the jury, they seemed to be buying it. Every single one of them stared at Kendall as if they were entranced by her answers.
“Was there any other reason, besides the drugs, that kept you from hanging out with Miss Adler and the boys?” Ms. Johnson asked.
Tears leaked from Kendall’s eyes once again. They tracked down her cheeks, smearing her makeup. Kendall hid her face in a wad of tissue. She was good at this. I was grudgingly impressed with her performance.
“They were mean to me,” Kendall said. “They used every opportunity to bully me.”
True? Maybe. I couldn’t stand her for good reason. She was the queen of gossipy lies. We couldn’t trust her with any of our business. Because of that, we’d tried to limit the time she was with us.
“Who was the leader of the group?” Ms. Johnson asked.
Dawson stood up. “Objection, calls for a conclusion.”
Ms. Johnson sighed dramatically as if she couldn’t put up with another minute of Dawson’s nonsense. “It’s important for the record to reflect Miss Rivera’s opinion of the group dynamic.”
The judge took a moment to consider. “Overruled.” He turned to Kendall. “You may answer.”
Kendall blinked at the judge before she said, “Josiah. He’s always been the leader. Everyone did whatever he said.”
“Describe in what ways Josiah was the leader.”
“From the beginning, when Josiah first started coming to our school, he decided he hated me. He got the rest of them to turn against me. He regularly called me names: bitch, whore, slut—you know, the usual.” Kendall made an aggrieved face, her lip pulling up and her head shaking.
Okay, that part was true. I wasn’t sorry for it. She was all of those. I wasn’t the only one to call her that. The way she described it made it sound as if we’d called her those names just to piss her off. The truth was she’d said equally horrible things about us. At least what we’d accused her of had been true.
Ms. Johnson paused for a long moment to let Kendall’s accusation sit with the jury. It would probably make an impact with all the politically correct bullshit that was a part of everything in the media. I looked again to see how the jury reacted to the latest claim. The large majority were frowning, as I knew they would be, all the females especially.
I shifted uneasily in my seat.
“What were your feelings toward Mr. Harrison during this time?”
She put the tissue to her face again, garbling her words. “I was afraid of Josiah.”
“Could you repeat that?” Ms. Johnson asked.
Kendall lowered the tissue and leaned forward into the microphone. She looked over at me once again so that our gazes caught and held. I noticed her eyes were clear of tears. “I was afraid of Josiah.”
I wished that I could read her mind. Figure out what she thought to gain by giving this testimony. I also wished she could read my mind and realize just how pissed I was. She didn’t know what fear was, not yet. But after this I promised myself I’d show her.
“Why were you afraid of Mr. Harrison? What did he do to cause you fear?”
Kendall hiccupped a sob, pausing to draw in a breath. She dabbed again at her eyes and clearly said, “He was violent. He likes to throw things. He was always freaking out about stuff, and sometimes he hit Zoe. One time she showed up at my house with a black eye and slept over because she was afraid he’d break into her room and hit her again.”
The courtroom buzzed behind me with whispers. It felt like a low thrum at the back of my head. My head began to ache.
“Were you there when the abuse to Miss Adler occurred?”
Kendall nodded, “Yes, sometimes.”
Dawson stood once more, aggravated. “Objection, Your Honor. Assumes facts not in evidence. The prosecution has nothing to back up this claim.”
“Is there any other evidence being provided to the court to substantiate this claim?” the judge asked Ms. Johnson. “Pictures? Hospital records?”
“I saw him hit her,” Kendall said. “I saw the bruises.”
Judge Wallis turned to Kendall. “Miss Rivera, please refrain from speaking until I’ve made my ruling.”
“Oh, okay,” Kendall replied, frowning. Her face was dry of tears now that she wasn’t thinking about them.
Ms. Johnson addressed the judge. “Miss Rivera is a witness to these events, Your Honor.”
“Unless you are able to provide corroborating evidence, the objection is sustained. Ask a new question.” The judge sat back in his seat after he gave his decision, waiting for Ms. Johnson to continue.
Ms. Johnson looked down at her notes. She wasn’t happy if the frown she tried to hide was anything to go by. When she flipped through her papers, her fingers flicked the pages harder than necessary like she needed to release some tension. She chose one moved it to the top, and then looked up at Kendall. “Did you or Miss Adler ever call the police?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Zoe didn’t want to get Josiah in trouble. She said she loved him.” Kendall said ‘love’ with a sneer of disgust.
“Why would Miss Adler spend time with the defendant if there was abuse?”
“Objection. Still conjecture,” Dawson interrupted.
“Overruled. I’ll allow it,” the judge said. “Get to the point quickly, Ms. Johnson, or this line of questioning will be suspended.”
“Yes, Your Honor.” Ms. Johnson repeated the question to Kendall, “Did Miss Adler tell you the reason she continued to date Mr. Harrison in spite of the alleged abuse?”
Kendall shrugged. “I have no idea. She had a sick fascination with Josiah.”
Zoe hadn’t loved me. We’d both known the score. Maybe we could have made something more of it eventually. After all, I had to end up with a woman and she was just as good a choice as any. But she was always pushing for more. To mean something to me when it was clear she never would. And she hadn’t been trustworthy. I never had been able to take our relationship seriously, even before she started fucking Liam when I was still dating her.
“It’s been entered into evidence that before their deaths Miss Adler was dating Mr. Kirkpatrick. Why would she do this if, as you say, she loved and had a fascination with Mr. Harrison?” Ms. Johnson asked.
“Zoe wasn’t so much as dating Liam as she was just sleeping with him. They weren’t really together.” Kendall looked directly at the jury. “It’s not like she was a slut or anything. It’s just that she loved Josiah, and that she felt she had to do something to get his attention.”
“What do you mean by that?”
Kendall addressed Ms. Johnson now. “She wanted to make Josiah jealous. He never seemed to care about anything. Least of all Zoe.” Kendall paused. “She cried about it all the time. How she wanted him but he didn’t want her.”
This was outrageously melodramatic and stupid. Who really cared what Zoe had thought? She was dead now. Whatever benefits we had should be long forgotten.
“Did Mr. Kirkpatrick know that Miss Adler still had feelings for Mr. Harrison?” Ms. Johnson asked.
“Well, sure. It’s not like Liam minded. He needed Zoe’s help for other stuff. They were, like, working together, like a team.”
“How do you mean?”
“Well, he’s the one who suggested it. That they both would pretend. She would be able to get Josiah jealous—show him what he was missing, you know? In exchange she’d help Liam with whatever his issue was.”
“Did you know what Mr. Kirkpatrick wanted?”
“No,” Kendall shrugged. “It was about drugs or something. I was never clear on that.”
“Did their plan work? Was Mr. Harrison jealous?”
Kendall shook her head. “There was no way it would have ever worked. Josiah would have to have emotions. I tried to tell her, but she didn’t believe me.”
That’s where she had been wrong. Even now the jealousy consumed me.
I hated Kendall. Hated that her testimony held sway over my life. It made me inexplicably angry, like a burr under my skin. It itched and irritated. My jaw hurt from clenching it so hard.
Then Ms. Johnson went in for the kill. “Do you know of any reason Mr. Harrison would attack and kill his friends?”
Kendall nodded. “Yes. It’s the same reason that making Josiah jealous would have never worked.”
“And what would that be?”
There was a long dramatic pause. The jury collectively held their breaths, anticipating that this would be a bombshell. “Josiah and Liam were lovers.”
The courtroom let out an audible gasp. It echoed around the room in rapid fire. Even the jury members looked at one another.
I wanted to vomit.
I wanted to scream.
I wanted to rush the court and put my fist in her face.
How fucking dare she out me.
I refused to turn around and see my dad’s reaction to her claim. My body felt like it was shaking apart. I gripped my hands under the defense table, my short fingernails biting into my skin.
The only thing that kept me in my seat was the firm look I got from Dawson right before he stood. “Objection, hearsay. There is absolutely no evidence to the validity of that statement.” This time the exasperation pushed through his voice making it clear he was pissed. “This is slanderous. There is a clear lack of evidence, it was said to perjure the jury. Mr. Harrison and Mr. Kirkpatrick were not lovers.”
Chapter Twenty-One
THEN…
IN THE FOREST
Silence greeted me when I returned to camp. Parker wasn’t here. He’d gone into the woods to collect firewood like I had. We’d met up, and I’d left him some distance back.
Liam and Zoe were supposed to be starting dinner, but from the lack of food smells I doubted that had happened. The two lovebirds had been fighting when I’d left, and it seemed like it was still happening. Zoe was doing absolutely nothing, lying near where we’d built the fire while filing her nails. Liam was on the other side of camp checking their tent rigging.
The firewood I carried was heavy and cut the skin of my hands. I’d collected quite a few bigger pieces that would burn for a long time. It wasn’t a lot, but it was getting dark and I was hungry. This would have to wait until I at least got some food in me. At that point maybe I’d take a second trip out.
Liam walked over to help me, taking half the load.
“Thanks,” I grunted.
I dumped the rest of the wood in a pile near the fire. Flexing my hands and dusting them off to get the blood flow back before I brushed the sleeves of my jacket free of the clinging pine needles.
As I’d suspected, nothing had happened in camp since I’d left. Not even the utensils had been unpacked. My stomach gave a rumble, and I knew it would be at least an hour till I ate. I stalked over to where Zoe reclined.
She didn’t look up, continuing to file her nails. Pretending I didn’t exist.
“I thought you were supposed to be cooking?” I asked, standing over her with my hands on my hips.
Zoe paused. The file hung in the air. Then she slowly looked up, her eyes narrowed. She turned from me to glare at Liam before she looked down and started filing again with precise, drawn-out flicks against her middle finger.
What a bitch. I didn’t know what her problem was. If she thought that I was going to do all the work, I’d make sure she slept outside in the cold.
I asked, “Did Parker say when he’d be back?”
“I haven’t seen him.” Liam knelt, building up the fire by setting a teepee of wood. At least he gave some thought to our dinner. “He wasn’t with you?”
“We split up. Said he remembered seeing a large stack of dry stuff when we hiked through and went back to get it. He should have been back by now, though.”
Liam shrugged. “He probably stopped to smoke.”
I knew he didn’t have any pot left, but I said, “Just as long as he doesn’t burn the woods down.”
“He could have shared.” Zoe stood up and stretched. “I’m so bored.”
“Then you can make our dinner like you’re supposed to.” It was her damn job tonight and she knew it. I picked up a bucket and tossed it at her. “Or you can get us some water.”
She had a few choice words for me and then grabbed the bucket and stomped away. At least we were getting closer to eating.
With the water, the three of us managed to scrape together some dinner. It was late and Parker still hadn’t returned, so we ate without him.
The shadows had lengthened away from our firelight, the night was too dark to see. My gaze strayed to the woods, to the inky blackness my eyesight couldn’t penetrate.
We sat in silence except for the cracks that the wood sparked. Liam and Zoe were still mad at each other. That part was okay, actually. Still, I wanted to know what their deal was.
“What’s going on with the two of you?” I asked.
Liam frowned. “None of your damn business.”
I raised an eyebrow at him and then smirked. “Right.”
Liam looked away. “You’re not the center of the universe, Josiah.”
I never said I was.
Time slipped by and still Parker didn’t show up.
Chapter Twenty-Two
NOW…
My father had called a meeting after Kendall’s testimony. Mr. Dawson had asked the judge for time to confer with me. They’d let the three of us use a small room off the courtroom with a deputy who stood outside the door.
I knew what was coming and couldn’t figure out a way to stop the confrontation. My head did that not-quite-in-reality thing where I felt like I might float away. The only thing that kept me grounded to the here and now was the fact that my whole body hurt with how stiffly I sat. My back was ramrod straight and my muscles clenched, all trying to convince my father that I was composed and unafraid. Stress made pain spread up my spine and across my shoulders, making my bones feel as if they might snap.
Even here in a place where I knew my father couldn’t hit me, I was afraid of him. It was a fear inbred from years of abuse. I felt as if I was getting smaller the longer he stared at me, caving in on myself.
It disgusted me that my reaction was to cringe and turn away, to try not to be seen. It was so much like my mom that I hated myself just a bit more. I was better than her. Better than this.
All the while I reminded myself that my father wouldn’t hit me here. That kind of thing wasn’t done in front of others. The most that would happen today were threats.
I didn’t have much support left without my friends. He was the last in line of what stood between me and facing the world alone. I wasn’t sure what to do. I had to have someone on my side.
I sat across from him trying to be all the things I wasn’t: calm, rational, and self-assured. The problem was that I wasn’t sure how to put the mask of the dutiful son back on. It felt like an ill-fitting sweater that had been pulled into a crazy shape and itched against my skin.
Surviving in jail had been easier. There I had reinvented myself into someone new. But in doing so I’d lost the thread of the person I was supposed to be. I had to find him. To be the robot who took abuse from my father and never questioned why.
“Is it true?” The intense cut of my father’s jaw was tight as he asked me the question. He wasn’t raging. There was no spittle flying from his lips, but his tight, stressed words were enough to make my heart race. His intense gaze had the ability to make me believe he could see into me, to suss out my secrets.
Playing stupid was the only thing I could do. “What are you talking about?”
I couldn’t believe this was happening now. We were almost halfway through the trial and I thought that I’d at least be able to keep Liam a secret. My love for him was sacred. I couldn’t stand that it was now fodder for the whole world to discuss. I reminded myself that there was still a part of our relationship I’d held special, that no one could touch because only he and I had known about it.
My father’s judgment was something that I didn’t want to care about. I could see him twisting what we’d had together in his head, making it evil. It felt like an invasion. Poking at it felt like he’d cracked that memory with a hammer, shattering what I’d thought pure. It wasn’t my fault that I couldn’t overcome my desires like he pretended to have done.
