Hidden Kisses (Love in Sienna Series Book 2), page 21
I blush, and my face feels warm from where his fingers brushed by my skin.
“I’m really not,” I mumble uncomfortably as I stand up and take off his jacket. “I think it’s time for me to go. Thanks for talking to me.”
I turn to leave, but he grabs my arm, causing me to stumble and fall into his strong grasp. Staring up into his eyes, I have this odd urge to kiss him.
Does he feel it too, or am I just being stupid?
His hand goes under my chin; it feels tingly from his touch. Slowly, he leans down and softly places his lips on mine. I’ve never kissed anyone before. I guess that’s weird being seventeen, but no one has shown me any interest before.
He places his other hand at the small of my back and pulls me closer to him. He tastes like beer and toothpaste, a weird combination. The kiss goes on for a couple of minutes before I step back.
“You really are beautiful, Crystal. I’d love to see you again. Do you want to come over after school on Tuesday? My parents work late, so we can have some alone time.”
I mull the words over in my head. Alone time? Does he just want to get in my pants?
“I don’t put out,” I say, not sure what else to do.
He chuckles and grabs my hand. “That’s not what I meant; I just want to get to know you better. I’ll order a pizza and we can watch a movie.”
I smile and nod. “That sounds great.”
I walk to my mom’s car. She’d be pissed if she knew I took it tonight. But she’s so high, she’ll never even know I was out. I fall into the driver’s seat and sigh.
I have a date with Gavin Munro. How is this real life?
It’s been four awesome weeks of hanging out with Gavin. I don’t know if he is my boyfriend or what exactly is going on between us. We haven’t really had that conversation. We hang out a lot after he gets home from football practice.
My parents don’t give a shit where I am most of the time. They’re so fucked up on drugs and alcohol, they probably don’t even know I’m not home most nights. It won’t be like this for much longer, though. They’re running out of money, and when their drugs are gone, they’ll care about me again. But not in a good way.
I stole twenty dollars from my mom and bought a new dress for tonight. She’ll be extremely pissed when she finds out, but I’ll deal that when it happens.
I’m pretty sure I’m in love with Gavin, and I’m going to tell him tonight. And I want to look extra pretty when I do. That will solidify our relationship, I’m sure.
Gavin opens the door and his eyes go wide, which brings a smile to my face. Yeah, he likes my new dress.
“You look amazing, baby,” he says, grabbing me by the waist and kissing my lips.
He always tastes like something and mint. The flavor changes every day, but I love it.
“Want me to order pizza?” he asks once we are actually inside the house.
“Sure, I’d love that,” I say, making my way to his room to turn on a movie while he calls.
We’ve fallen into a comfortable routine and I’m loving it. I let him touch me, and we mess around, but we haven’t gone all the way yet. A part of me wants to just get it over with and get rid of my virginity, but another part wants to know he really loves me first.
“Pizza is ordered. What do you want to do in the meantime?” he asks, wiggling his eyebrows at me.
I blush.
When he sits on the bed next to me, he leans over to kiss me gently.
Now is the time, I tell myself.
“I love you,” I whisper against his lips.
His eyes go wide, but then he smiles. “I love you too, baby.”
He goes back to kissing me, but this time it’s more intense. His hands roam my body, and it feels good. Really good.
One of his hands inches up my dress, and I freeze.
I’ve been thinking about going all the way with Gavin, and he did tell me he loves me. Maybe this is the right time. I can get rid of my virginity with someone I love, and then it won’t be held over my head like some sort of dark weight.
I go back to kissing him, not stopping him. I feel apprehensive, but I can do this.
He grabs my dress by the hem and lifts it over my head. I’m wearing my only pair of matching bra and panties. They are pretty plain, but still look nice.
He growls seeing me lying there almost naked.
“Fuck, you are what dreams are made of,” he says, kissing my neck.
I let out a little moan. His hands roam my body, getting to know every inch of me.
“You have too many clothes on,” I say, biting my lip.
He gives me a devilish smile and pulls his shirt off. Very slowly, he undoes his jeans and throws them to the side. He still has boxers on, but I can already tell that he’s huge.
I sit up and my eyes go wide. Maybe this was a mistake. How is that even supposed to fit inside me?
“I’m going to make you feel so good, baby,” he tells me.
I take a deep breath, unhooking my bra and throwing it to the side. I can do this.
His eyes darken, and I feel this weird sensation in my belly. He places his hands on my shoulders and lays me back on the bed. I’m still nervous, but this is what I want. Right?
“Have you ever…” I trail off not sure how to finish the sentence.
I know I’m a virgin, but Gavin probably isn’t.
He nods at me. “A couple times. You?”
I shake my head; I can’t even look at him now. I should just go.
“That’s awesome that you are giving this to me,” he says, gripping my chin and placing his lips on mine.
“I don’t know about this,” I say shyly.
Fuck. Am I being a tease? I’m the one who brought this up, and now I’m backing out.
“Please,” he says, kissing my neck and going lower.
He brings my nipple into his mouth, and it feels so good. I let out a moan and all thoughts leave my body. I can do this.
He slowly slips my panties off and I don’t stop him. He sticks his fingers in his mouth to get them wet, then slowly inserts them into my core.
“Fuck you’re tight,” he says.
I can’t form words, so I just let him do what he’s doing.
It doesn’t really hurt, but his fingers feel odd. Maybe he doesn’t really know what he’s doing. Isn’t it supposed to feel better than this?
He stops moving his fingers and sloppily kisses me.
“I’m good, aren’t I?” he asks.
I don’t even know how to respond, so I just nod. He goes into his bedside table and grabs a condom. Ripping it open with his teeth, he quickly puts it on and enters me much too fast.
“Fuck,” I hiss.
That hurt a lot. I want to stop this, but I also don’t want to be that girl. I just want to get this over with. I need to get rid of my virginity on my own terms. And he loves me, right?
I lie there, taking his pounding and trying to fight back the tears. This was a horrible idea. But he’s mine now. Maybe school life will be different now that he’s my boyfriend. I won’t have to deal with the bullying. He’ll stick up for me. That’s what you do for people you love.
It doesn’t take long for him to finish. He gives me a quick kiss and pulls out.
I look down and see blood. I guess I’m no longer a virgin.
Glancing at the condom, I see liquid leaking from it.
“Did the condom break?” I ask, very concerned.
I’m not on birth control, and I can’t have a baby.
He shrugs. “It’s fine. It’s highly unlikely that you’ll get pregnant from your first time, and I don’t think I have any STDs.”
Well, that’s reassuring, I think, fighting the urge to roll my eyes.
I’m still lying in his bed naked when he gets back from the bathroom.
“Hey, it’s getting late. You should probably go,” he tells me coldly.
What the fuck happened to the guy who just told me he loved me?
“What about the pizza?” I ask.
“Um, I just got a text saying it’s going to be late,” he says, not looking at me.
I nod and quickly get dressed, then give him a quick kiss before I leave. I’m sure he’s just tired. We can talk more at school tomorrow.
As I walk into school, I’m so excited to see Gavin. I have a boyfriend. This is amazing.
I’m still sore from last night, but I’m sure it will be worth it.
I see Gavin standing by his locker with a couple of his friends. We don’t usually talk at school, but things are different now, so I walk up to him.
“Hey, baby.” I lean in for a kiss, but he pushes me away.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he spits out venomously.
“Um…I just thought…” I stammer, trying to come up with words.
“You’re a dumb bitch.” He laughs at me. “Look, you have a nice rack, but I just wanted in your pants. It took a little longer than I thought, but you gave it up just like I knew you would.”
I step back like I’ve been hit.
“But you told me you loved me.” My voice cracks, and I can feel the tears in my eyes.
“Like I said, I just wanted you for a fun night. And it was great, but don’t think this is more than what it was. Don’t talk to me anymore, okay?”
And just like that, he walks off with his buddies, laughing and high-fiving them.
What a fucking pig.
I should have known better. But I just thought, who would wait four weeks? I thought maybe I was special.
But, no. I’m not special. I never have been, and I never will be.
Rumors always go around about me. Daughter of a whore. A nerd who will never get anywhere in life. A drug addict’s kid.
They’re all true, but the new one cuts deep.
Slut. Whore. Taking after her mom.
Gavin told everyone that I slept with him, and some of the other guys have made up lies saying I’ve sucked their dicks.
I was in love with Gavin, and he threw me away like trash. Now the bullying from the girls is even worse. And to top everything off, I just found out I’m pregnant. So much for not getting pregnant from your first time.
I look around and the empty hall and find Gavin by himself. Thank God.
“I need to talk to you,” I whisper, hoping he’ll see the plea in my eyes.
“What do you want?” he bites out, clearly not impressed that I’m here right now.
“I’m pregnant, Gavin.”
He looks at me and his eyes go wide for a second before the anger and hate returns.
“So?” he scoffs.
“It’s yours,” I clarify.
“Well, take care of it. I don’t want a baby.”
I shake my head as the tears start to fall. “And you think I do? I can’t just get rid of it, though. It’s our responsibility. We made it. We both need to grow up and deal with it.”
He balls his fists at his side, and he looks like a completely different boy. “Do whatever the fuck you want. But I am not fucking up my future because of you. If you keep it, you can raise it. I don’t want anything to do with it. Don’t ever fucking talk to me again.”
He stomps down the hall and I’m left all by myself.
“Looks like it’s just us against the world,” I whisper to my stomach.
First, I want to thank my family for being so supportive and understanding. They are the real MVP’s.
My amazing editor, Carmen, for dealing with my lack of grammar and punctuation skills. And for making this book the amazing product you have today. She knows exactly how to push me in the right direction and gives me amazing pointers. I am truly blessed to work with her and call her a friend.
My FANTASTIC betas, Jacinta (who also was my alpha), Nichole, Stefanie, Lauren, Katey, and Becca. Without these ladies, my book would be garbage. I am so incredibly blessed to have these ladies in my life.
My tribe, the Chadettes. Without these ladies, I would be a puddle of anxiety, hiding under my covers crying uncontrollably. They keep me sane and are always there to catch me when I fall.
My fantastic designer Kayla Reese with Destiny Productions. She did another amazing cover and I am so happy with it. She really goes above and beyond.
To my amazing friend BJ for proofreading.
My friend Nichole for helping me with all my baseball knowledge. I did not know a lot about baseball going in, but she was more than happy to give me some fantastic pointers.
Eloise, Jacinta and Carmen for helping me with the blurb.
And last, but not least, thank you. Without you I wouldn’t be doing this. Readers are what makes authors keep writing.
If you enjoyed this book, I would really love if you gave an honest review! Reviews really are important for authors, so if you could take a quick second, it would truly be appreciated.
Laura John is a contemporary romance author with a love for music. She lives in Alberta, Canada with her husband, two kids, and one loveable fur-baby. She loves karaoke, makeup, and of course, a good glass of wine. She mixes her love of words with her love of music and hopes to transport you into a world you don’t want to leave.
You can find Laura online here:
Facebook Page
Reader Group (Join for teasers, fun games, and exclusive content!)
Instagram
Goodreads
Amazon
BookBub
Laura John, Hidden Kisses (Love in Sienna Series Book 2)
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“I’m really not,” I mumble uncomfortably as I stand up and take off his jacket. “I think it’s time for me to go. Thanks for talking to me.”
I turn to leave, but he grabs my arm, causing me to stumble and fall into his strong grasp. Staring up into his eyes, I have this odd urge to kiss him.
Does he feel it too, or am I just being stupid?
His hand goes under my chin; it feels tingly from his touch. Slowly, he leans down and softly places his lips on mine. I’ve never kissed anyone before. I guess that’s weird being seventeen, but no one has shown me any interest before.
He places his other hand at the small of my back and pulls me closer to him. He tastes like beer and toothpaste, a weird combination. The kiss goes on for a couple of minutes before I step back.
“You really are beautiful, Crystal. I’d love to see you again. Do you want to come over after school on Tuesday? My parents work late, so we can have some alone time.”
I mull the words over in my head. Alone time? Does he just want to get in my pants?
“I don’t put out,” I say, not sure what else to do.
He chuckles and grabs my hand. “That’s not what I meant; I just want to get to know you better. I’ll order a pizza and we can watch a movie.”
I smile and nod. “That sounds great.”
I walk to my mom’s car. She’d be pissed if she knew I took it tonight. But she’s so high, she’ll never even know I was out. I fall into the driver’s seat and sigh.
I have a date with Gavin Munro. How is this real life?
It’s been four awesome weeks of hanging out with Gavin. I don’t know if he is my boyfriend or what exactly is going on between us. We haven’t really had that conversation. We hang out a lot after he gets home from football practice.
My parents don’t give a shit where I am most of the time. They’re so fucked up on drugs and alcohol, they probably don’t even know I’m not home most nights. It won’t be like this for much longer, though. They’re running out of money, and when their drugs are gone, they’ll care about me again. But not in a good way.
I stole twenty dollars from my mom and bought a new dress for tonight. She’ll be extremely pissed when she finds out, but I’ll deal that when it happens.
I’m pretty sure I’m in love with Gavin, and I’m going to tell him tonight. And I want to look extra pretty when I do. That will solidify our relationship, I’m sure.
Gavin opens the door and his eyes go wide, which brings a smile to my face. Yeah, he likes my new dress.
“You look amazing, baby,” he says, grabbing me by the waist and kissing my lips.
He always tastes like something and mint. The flavor changes every day, but I love it.
“Want me to order pizza?” he asks once we are actually inside the house.
“Sure, I’d love that,” I say, making my way to his room to turn on a movie while he calls.
We’ve fallen into a comfortable routine and I’m loving it. I let him touch me, and we mess around, but we haven’t gone all the way yet. A part of me wants to just get it over with and get rid of my virginity, but another part wants to know he really loves me first.
“Pizza is ordered. What do you want to do in the meantime?” he asks, wiggling his eyebrows at me.
I blush.
When he sits on the bed next to me, he leans over to kiss me gently.
Now is the time, I tell myself.
“I love you,” I whisper against his lips.
His eyes go wide, but then he smiles. “I love you too, baby.”
He goes back to kissing me, but this time it’s more intense. His hands roam my body, and it feels good. Really good.
One of his hands inches up my dress, and I freeze.
I’ve been thinking about going all the way with Gavin, and he did tell me he loves me. Maybe this is the right time. I can get rid of my virginity with someone I love, and then it won’t be held over my head like some sort of dark weight.
I go back to kissing him, not stopping him. I feel apprehensive, but I can do this.
He grabs my dress by the hem and lifts it over my head. I’m wearing my only pair of matching bra and panties. They are pretty plain, but still look nice.
He growls seeing me lying there almost naked.
“Fuck, you are what dreams are made of,” he says, kissing my neck.
I let out a little moan. His hands roam my body, getting to know every inch of me.
“You have too many clothes on,” I say, biting my lip.
He gives me a devilish smile and pulls his shirt off. Very slowly, he undoes his jeans and throws them to the side. He still has boxers on, but I can already tell that he’s huge.
I sit up and my eyes go wide. Maybe this was a mistake. How is that even supposed to fit inside me?
“I’m going to make you feel so good, baby,” he tells me.
I take a deep breath, unhooking my bra and throwing it to the side. I can do this.
His eyes darken, and I feel this weird sensation in my belly. He places his hands on my shoulders and lays me back on the bed. I’m still nervous, but this is what I want. Right?
“Have you ever…” I trail off not sure how to finish the sentence.
I know I’m a virgin, but Gavin probably isn’t.
He nods at me. “A couple times. You?”
I shake my head; I can’t even look at him now. I should just go.
“That’s awesome that you are giving this to me,” he says, gripping my chin and placing his lips on mine.
“I don’t know about this,” I say shyly.
Fuck. Am I being a tease? I’m the one who brought this up, and now I’m backing out.
“Please,” he says, kissing my neck and going lower.
He brings my nipple into his mouth, and it feels so good. I let out a moan and all thoughts leave my body. I can do this.
He slowly slips my panties off and I don’t stop him. He sticks his fingers in his mouth to get them wet, then slowly inserts them into my core.
“Fuck you’re tight,” he says.
I can’t form words, so I just let him do what he’s doing.
It doesn’t really hurt, but his fingers feel odd. Maybe he doesn’t really know what he’s doing. Isn’t it supposed to feel better than this?
He stops moving his fingers and sloppily kisses me.
“I’m good, aren’t I?” he asks.
I don’t even know how to respond, so I just nod. He goes into his bedside table and grabs a condom. Ripping it open with his teeth, he quickly puts it on and enters me much too fast.
“Fuck,” I hiss.
That hurt a lot. I want to stop this, but I also don’t want to be that girl. I just want to get this over with. I need to get rid of my virginity on my own terms. And he loves me, right?
I lie there, taking his pounding and trying to fight back the tears. This was a horrible idea. But he’s mine now. Maybe school life will be different now that he’s my boyfriend. I won’t have to deal with the bullying. He’ll stick up for me. That’s what you do for people you love.
It doesn’t take long for him to finish. He gives me a quick kiss and pulls out.
I look down and see blood. I guess I’m no longer a virgin.
Glancing at the condom, I see liquid leaking from it.
“Did the condom break?” I ask, very concerned.
I’m not on birth control, and I can’t have a baby.
He shrugs. “It’s fine. It’s highly unlikely that you’ll get pregnant from your first time, and I don’t think I have any STDs.”
Well, that’s reassuring, I think, fighting the urge to roll my eyes.
I’m still lying in his bed naked when he gets back from the bathroom.
“Hey, it’s getting late. You should probably go,” he tells me coldly.
What the fuck happened to the guy who just told me he loved me?
“What about the pizza?” I ask.
“Um, I just got a text saying it’s going to be late,” he says, not looking at me.
I nod and quickly get dressed, then give him a quick kiss before I leave. I’m sure he’s just tired. We can talk more at school tomorrow.
As I walk into school, I’m so excited to see Gavin. I have a boyfriend. This is amazing.
I’m still sore from last night, but I’m sure it will be worth it.
I see Gavin standing by his locker with a couple of his friends. We don’t usually talk at school, but things are different now, so I walk up to him.
“Hey, baby.” I lean in for a kiss, but he pushes me away.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he spits out venomously.
“Um…I just thought…” I stammer, trying to come up with words.
“You’re a dumb bitch.” He laughs at me. “Look, you have a nice rack, but I just wanted in your pants. It took a little longer than I thought, but you gave it up just like I knew you would.”
I step back like I’ve been hit.
“But you told me you loved me.” My voice cracks, and I can feel the tears in my eyes.
“Like I said, I just wanted you for a fun night. And it was great, but don’t think this is more than what it was. Don’t talk to me anymore, okay?”
And just like that, he walks off with his buddies, laughing and high-fiving them.
What a fucking pig.
I should have known better. But I just thought, who would wait four weeks? I thought maybe I was special.
But, no. I’m not special. I never have been, and I never will be.
Rumors always go around about me. Daughter of a whore. A nerd who will never get anywhere in life. A drug addict’s kid.
They’re all true, but the new one cuts deep.
Slut. Whore. Taking after her mom.
Gavin told everyone that I slept with him, and some of the other guys have made up lies saying I’ve sucked their dicks.
I was in love with Gavin, and he threw me away like trash. Now the bullying from the girls is even worse. And to top everything off, I just found out I’m pregnant. So much for not getting pregnant from your first time.
I look around and the empty hall and find Gavin by himself. Thank God.
“I need to talk to you,” I whisper, hoping he’ll see the plea in my eyes.
“What do you want?” he bites out, clearly not impressed that I’m here right now.
“I’m pregnant, Gavin.”
He looks at me and his eyes go wide for a second before the anger and hate returns.
“So?” he scoffs.
“It’s yours,” I clarify.
“Well, take care of it. I don’t want a baby.”
I shake my head as the tears start to fall. “And you think I do? I can’t just get rid of it, though. It’s our responsibility. We made it. We both need to grow up and deal with it.”
He balls his fists at his side, and he looks like a completely different boy. “Do whatever the fuck you want. But I am not fucking up my future because of you. If you keep it, you can raise it. I don’t want anything to do with it. Don’t ever fucking talk to me again.”
He stomps down the hall and I’m left all by myself.
“Looks like it’s just us against the world,” I whisper to my stomach.
First, I want to thank my family for being so supportive and understanding. They are the real MVP’s.
My amazing editor, Carmen, for dealing with my lack of grammar and punctuation skills. And for making this book the amazing product you have today. She knows exactly how to push me in the right direction and gives me amazing pointers. I am truly blessed to work with her and call her a friend.
My FANTASTIC betas, Jacinta (who also was my alpha), Nichole, Stefanie, Lauren, Katey, and Becca. Without these ladies, my book would be garbage. I am so incredibly blessed to have these ladies in my life.
My tribe, the Chadettes. Without these ladies, I would be a puddle of anxiety, hiding under my covers crying uncontrollably. They keep me sane and are always there to catch me when I fall.
My fantastic designer Kayla Reese with Destiny Productions. She did another amazing cover and I am so happy with it. She really goes above and beyond.
To my amazing friend BJ for proofreading.
My friend Nichole for helping me with all my baseball knowledge. I did not know a lot about baseball going in, but she was more than happy to give me some fantastic pointers.
Eloise, Jacinta and Carmen for helping me with the blurb.
And last, but not least, thank you. Without you I wouldn’t be doing this. Readers are what makes authors keep writing.
If you enjoyed this book, I would really love if you gave an honest review! Reviews really are important for authors, so if you could take a quick second, it would truly be appreciated.
Laura John is a contemporary romance author with a love for music. She lives in Alberta, Canada with her husband, two kids, and one loveable fur-baby. She loves karaoke, makeup, and of course, a good glass of wine. She mixes her love of words with her love of music and hopes to transport you into a world you don’t want to leave.
You can find Laura online here:
Facebook Page
Reader Group (Join for teasers, fun games, and exclusive content!)
Goodreads
Amazon
BookBub
Laura John, Hidden Kisses (Love in Sienna Series Book 2)
