Hidden Kisses (Love in Sienna Series Book 2), page 17
“I’ll be right back, sweetheart. I need to clean up.” I kiss her one more time on the forehead, then make my way toward the bathroom.
Resting my hands on the counter, I close my eyes. Leah is my world. But how is she supposed to love me after she learns about the monster I am?
Ring. Ring. Ring.
“Shut your phone off. You know I don’t like mornings,” Johnny says, pulling me away from my phone and kissing my neck.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
I giggle and push him off of me. “If you want me to shut it off, you have to let me get to it.”
Glancing at the caller ID, I see that it’s Mason. I’ve kind of been avoiding him since news broke about me and Johnny.
Sighing, I answer. “Mason, how are you?”
“I’m fine. But I need to meet that boyfriend of yours. It’s been two fucking months since I found out about it. On social media, I should add. Not from you. You barely speak to me, and you keep dodging my calls.”
I play with the sheets. He’s right. It’s just that Mason can be…well, a lot, and I didn’t want to scare Johnny away.
“I’m not taking no for an answer, Leah. We’re family. The only family we have.”
“There is Aunt Delorise,” I add.
Mason groans. “Either you agree to meet me for lunch today, or I’m coming to find you.”
I let out a little whine. “Fine. Text me the location and we’ll meet you.”
“Great. Love you. Bye.” He hangs up.
I put my phone back on the end table and pull the blankets over my head.
“We’re having lunch with my brother. It’s non-negotiable. I hope you like interrogations,” I mumble.
Johnny chuckles and pulls the blankets from my head. “It’ll be fine. I love you, and he’s right. It’s time we meet.”
I groan and get up to take a shower. I guess this is happening.
“Great to finally meet you,” Mason says, shaking Johnny’s hand.
“You too. I just want to say that it wasn’t my decision to not tell you about our relationship.”
I roll my eyes and plop down in my chair. “It’s not that I didn’t want to tell you. I just didn’t want Johnny to run for the hills.”
Johnny and Mason laugh, and I want to slap them both.
“I’m a little tough to scare off,” Johnny says, putting his arm around me.
“So, are you going to marry my sister?” Mason asks.
Johnny chokes a little and I smile, giving him an “I told you so” look.
“Um, one day, but it’s still pretty early,” Johnny says. “I think we can hold off on the nuptials for right now.”
Mason smiles. “I like this one.”
I stare at Johnny, and I probably have a dopey look on my face.
“Me too,” I whisper.
Johnny leans over to give me a kiss.
“Okay, none of that. I still have to eat my lunch,” Mason groans.
I giggle. “Get used to it, little brother. Your sister is in love.”
I give Johnny another kiss. Now, if my best friend would just start talking to me again, life would be perfect.
“Yes, everything is set up. Thank you. I’ll keep in touch,” I tell my client.
Hanging up my phone, I glance at the clock. Time to head home. Home being Johnny’s place.
It’s been three months since I’ve spoken to Tia. I’m trying to let her calm down, and I know she’s been busy, but this is driving me crazy.
I’ve never gone this long without talking to her. Since the moment we met, we barely went more than a few hours without a text or something. Every day that passes, I feel like I’m losing her more and more.
I’ve been feeling very lonely. Rayna checks on me every day, and I’m thankful for her. Without her, I’d probably be even more depressed than I already am.
Baseball season started a couple of weeks ago, and it’s weird not having Johnny at my beck and call. But I’m so proud of him. He has kept up with his charity work, and he is back on with the Grey Wolves.
Since he’s only thirty, turning thirty-one next month, he is hoping to get at least a couple more years out of his career. And, of course, he hopes to stay with the Grey Wolves.
I pull out my phone and send a quick text to Johnny as I make my way to my car. His game was at noon today, so we have a rare evening together.
Me: Hey, babe. I’m on my way home. Do you want me to cook or are we going out tonight?
Johnny: I should be home around 7. Why don’t you cook? I want you all to myself tonight.
Butterflies in my stomach come to life. Just a simple text like that gets me going.
Sex with Johnny is never boring, and it’s honestly the best sex of my life. I’m not sure if it’s because I give up control to him, or if it’s because I’ve never been with anyone like him before. He reads my body like a book. It’s like he’s determined to know me inside and out. My pleasure is always at the front; he refuses to take without giving.
I climb into my car and sigh.
Life is almost perfect. I just wish I had my best friend to talk to about it.
I’ve sent Tia some texts and tried calling a few times. But none get returned. I fucked up. I should have been honest with her. So I deserve the cold shoulder. I just hope she comes around, and soon. I can’t take this much longer.
I’m lying on the couch flipping through the channels. I glance at the clock and realize that it’s already eleven and Johnny still isn’t home.
I check my phone. There are no texts from him. That’s odd. He never comes home late without letting me know.
I tap his name and hear the ringing, and ringing, and ringing.
Finally, he picks up. “Hey.”
“Hi, baby. I was so worried…”
I get cut off with the rest of his voicemail. “You’ve reached my voicemail. Leave a message.”
Ugh. I forgot he had such a stupid voicemail message.
I hang up and start shaking my leg. What should I do? Who would I call to get a hold of him?
I go to the kitchen and start rifling through papers. I know his coach’s number is in here somewhere.
I’m still looking when my phone starts ringing.
It’s Mikey. Maybe Tia is finally reaching out.
“Hello?”
Man, that feels weird. I never answer my phone like that unless it’s a business call. I’m not really formal with my friends.
“Leah, you need to get to the hospital now,” Mikey says, not bothering with formalities.
“Why? What are you talking about?” I ask.
My head starts rushing. Is Tia okay? But they aren’t in Sienna right now, so that can’t be it.
“I’m Johnny’s emergency contact. He was in an accident. Use those acting skills of yours and get in to see him,” he tells me.
I grab the counter, barely keeping myself on my feet. “Is he okay?”
God, please let him be okay. I can’t lose him.
“I have no idea. They won’t give me anything over the phone. Look, I’m flying out in an hour, but we won’t be there until late tomorrow morning.”
“I’ll get as much information as I can,” I tell him, grabbing my keys.
I’ve always been good at keeping calm under pressure, but I can feel my heart beating at a million miles a minute as I drive to the hospital.
Entering the hospital, I feel a weird form of déjà vu. The last time I was here, it was because Mikey overdosed. Now I’m here needing to see my man.
I pull my grandma’s ring out of my purse. I’ve always carried it around with me, but I never wear it. Placing it on my ring finger, I walk up to the receptionist. I pause and say a silent prayer that this works.
“Excuse me,” I say, trying to get the attention of the nurse.
A young girl walks over to me. “Sorry, it’s been a busy night. How may I help you?”
She has a perfect smile, and it almost calms me.
“I’m here to see Johnny Crown.”
“I’m sorry. At this time, only family are allowed in.”
“Of course. I completely understand, but I am his wife.” I purposely place my hands on the counter so she can see the ring.
“Oh, I’m so sorry. There was no record of that. When I called his emergency contact, it was just his friend, so I assumed he was single.”
I breathe a sigh of relief. Thank God she is buying this.
“It only happened just recently,” I say. “We haven’t had time to get the word out yet. We’ve been trying to keep it to ourselves.”
“I’ll page the doctor. Again, I’m so sorry.”
I give her a small smile and nod.
These nurses are going to hate me when they realize I’ve lied twice now to get in to see people I care about.
My picture is probably going to be plastered at all hospitals with a sign saying, “Do not trust this woman. She lies through her teeth.”
I’m not waiting long when a young doctor comes walking out. He must have just graduated from medical school. Is he even qualified to be working on Johnny? I should have texted Rayna and told her what was going on. She would have made sure he had a better doctor.
“Mrs. Crown?” he asks.
I nod. “Yes. Can you please tell me what happened to my husband?”
He nods and escorts me to a private room.
The room looks almost identical to when I was here with Tia. The white walls, the smell of chemicals, the ticking of a clock on the wall.
I sit down on one of the hard chairs, the plastic already digging into my legs. I hope Johnny will be okay, but I also know that if the doctor is talking to me, things are not good.
“So, there was a head-on collision. Johnny is very lucky to be alive. The other driver didn’t make it.”
I cover my mouth with my hand and take a ragged breath. Someone else lost their life, but Johnny is alive.
“He has a large gouge on his forehead and is in a medically induced coma, as there is some swelling on his brain that we want to bring down. Right now, we have him on oxygen and IV fluids that seem to be working nicely. Other than that, and a small fracture on his left arm, he is fine. Once the swelling on his brain goes down, we will pull the medication and start to wake him.” He pauses and places his hand on mine. “He is very lucky, ma’am.”
I nod, not knowing what to say.
“We don’t know how long the swelling will take to come down. It can be anywhere from hours to days. All we can do at this point is continue to monitor the swelling. If the treatment stops working, we may have to operate, but as of right now, it’s looking promising, so hopefully that won’t have to happen.”
The tears are flowing down my face, and I feel my body shaking.
“I’ll show you where his room is,” he says, walking toward the door.
Following him down the hallway, I keep my eyes on the floor. Hospitals make me uncomfortable. I wish I was anywhere but here.
We stop in front of a room, and I pause before going in.
“Remember, the prognosis is good, but only time will tell,” the doctor reminds me before walking away.
I pull my phone from my purse and text Rayna.
Me: I’m at Sienna South Hospital. Johnny was in a car accident. Can you meet me soon?
Her reply is almost instant.
Rayna: On my way.
I take a deep breath and make my way into the room. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I take Johnny’s hand in mine.
“I’m here, baby. I love you,” I whisper, sniffling.
I kiss his cheek feeling the tears flowing down my face. I wish Tia was here right now. I was her rock when she was going through things. I could really use her right now to be mine.
I’m crying in a small, not very comfortable chair when Rayna walks in.
“Oh, sweetheart,” she says, rushing to my side.
“They have him in a medically induced coma because there’s swelling on his brain. They say he’ll be okay, but what if the swelling doesn’t come down?” I let out between sobs. “What if he isn’t okay? I’ve already lost my best friend. I can’t lose the love of my life too.”
I break down as her arms surround me. “You haven’t lost Tia. She just needs time. And you have me. I’m always here. And Johnny isn’t going anywhere, I promise.”
I pull away slightly. “How do you know that? You don’t. No one does.”
“I checked his charts. Everything looks really good. Brain swelling is common with major head injuries.” She squeezes me tighter. “He’s a fighter. He will get through this.”
I nod, not sure how to form words anymore. He needs to get through this.
“Mom?” I ask, seeing her long brown hair blowing in the wind.
“Son,” she says, smiling.
I run over to her and pull her into my arms. She’s real. She’s really here. But how?
“How are you here right now?” I ask, pulling away.
“I’m not, son. This isn’t real. I’m just here to guide you.”
“Am I dead?” I ask, looking around.
We are in a field with lush green grass and beautiful wildflowers. I feel the warmth of the sun on my skin. This feels real.
Her smile lights up her face. “No, you are not dead. You’re just sleeping, but you won’t be able to wake up until you forgive yourself.”
“Forgive myself?”
I’m so confused. Where is Leah? Is she okay? I can’t remember much from the day. I was at practice, I told Leah I would be home, and that’s all I remember.
“I need to get back to Leah, but I don’t want to leave you, Mom,” I tell her.
She sits down among the flowers and gestures for me to do the same. I lower myself to the ground, and pick up a small flower, placing it in my mom’s hair.
“I’m always with you, Johnny,” she says, taking my hand.
“So, how do I get back to my girl?” I ask as I play with more flowers.
“Forgive yourself, for my death and your father’s.”
I scoff. “I don’t feel anything about my father. What do I have to forgive myself for?”
“You still have so much guilt. You think you’re a monster. You will not be able to go back to your family until you let go of those feelings.”
“But you’re my family,” I whisper.
I finally have my mom back. How can I leave her?
She smiles and pushes my hair off my forehead like she used to do when I was a kid. “We were torn apart far too early, but you have built another family. Mikey is your brother. Leah is your lover. And the people that you surround yourself with are your family.”
I nod and feel a tear breaking from my eye. “I am a monster, Mom. I should have saved you, and I should have been better than to kill Dad.”
She slaps me across the face. Man, that hurts. Are dreams supposed to hurt?
“Stop it, Johnny. It was self-defense. You are not a monster. And you couldn’t have saved me. You were only a child.”
I hold my hand to my face and nod. Mom always corrected me when necessary, but was never abusive like my father.
“I miss you, Mom,” I murmur.
She pulls me into her arms. “I miss you too, but there is a beautiful girl waiting for you, where you belong. So, hurry up and smarten up.”
I lean into her shoulder and laugh.
“Any news?” I ask Rayna as she comes back into the room.
“Like I’ve told you eight hundred times, no. The swelling is coming down and it’s looking really good. They will probably be able to try and wake him up this evening.”
I nod. She keeps saying the same thing, but I just wish they would wake him up already. I miss seeing his piercing green eyes, and tasting his mouth, and feeling his body on mine.
“Knock, knock.” Mikey knocks on the doorframe before entering the room.
I stand up and run to him, giving him a huge hug. He squeezes me back, and the tears once again flow down my face.
I let go and turn to see Tia standing behind him, staring at the floor.
She might still be mad at me, but I don’t even care anymore. I grab her and pull her into my arms. She doesn’t return the hug at first, but I feel her take a deep breath, then pull me tighter to her body.
“I missed you,” I whisper, and feel the tears coming again.
“I missed you too,” she sighs.
I pull back, keeping my hands on her shoulders. “Are we good? Because I need you right now.”
She gives me a small smile and nods. “We’re good. I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner.”
I pull her back into my arms, thankful that at least this part of my life is okay again.
“Where’s CeCe?” I ask, looking for my goddaughter.
“She’s with Mikey’s parents. We didn’t want to bring a crazy kid to the hospital,” she explains.
I nod. Yeah, that little girl is a terror.
Rayna grabs my shoulder. “I’m going to head out. I’ll be back in a little bit, and I’ll let you know if I hear any more news.”
I nod, and she walks out of the room.
“So, any word?” Mikey asks.
I can’t help but let out a little laugh. “Well, I ask every five minutes, but so far all we know is the swelling on his brain is coming down slowly, and they are hoping to try and wake him up this evening.”
He nods, then looks at the cast on Johnny’s arm. “And what about his arm? Is he going to be able to play this season?”
“The doctors think he should be able to; it’s just a hairline fracture. The break didn’t go all the way through. He’ll have to take it easy for a few weeks and do a little physical therapy. The swelling on his brain is what’s the most concerning, but thankfully, that is making progress. They said it’s common with head trauma.”
“Is his memory going to be fucked up?” he asks, still staring at Johnny.
I grab his hand. “They can’t say for sure, but they are hoping it won’t be.”
He nods again.
“Go and sit next to him and talk to him,” I tell Mikey.
“What am I supposed to say to him?” he asks while kicking at an imaginary rock.
