Hidden Kisses (Love in Sienna Series Book 2), page 11
That is, if he’ll talk to me.
She smiles and gives me a tight hug. “Thank you for talking to me. I don’t know why, but I feel a lot better now.”
After I hug her one more time, I make my way to my truck. Well, at least I know the Amber issue is over for good. Now I just have to figure out how to get Mikey to talk to me so I can share this with him.
I should not have finished that bottle of wine last night. Two glasses is my max if I don’t want a headache the next day. I’m not as young as I once was.
I was sad to see Johnny gone this morning, but I knew he had a game. And he left a cute note on my counter saying how much he enjoyed our time together.
I’m sure I kept him up way too late, but I missed him. And his body. There was no way I was going to be able to just sleep with him in my bed.
I’m happy that my plans for today pretty much involve doing nothing. I’m supposed to watch the game with Rayna, but with this hangover I’m probably going to pass.
Me: Rain check on the game? I’m hung over.
Rayna: Why are you hung over?
Me: I needed wine to get over the loss of my chair.
Rayna: So not my fault.
Me: I know, but then tipsy Leah invited Johnny over, and he may have spent the night.
Rayna: OMG YOU DID NOT!
Me: Don’t yell at me. I think I’m falling for him.
Rayna: Be careful.
Me: I know. I’ll see you in a couple of days for the next Grey Wolves game and we can talk.
Rayna: Love you. TTYL.
After pouring myself a cup of coffee, I slump onto my sofa. The soft material forms around me almost like a hug. I’m glad I didn’t wreck my couch with my stupid prank. This couch has been my comfort so many times, I’ve lost count.
How the hell am I supposed to make this work? I want Johnny, but I can never tell Tia. I can’t hide a relationship from my best friend. At least not for long.
But when Johnny is here, it feels right. I’ve never had someone who makes me feel like he does. Someone who makes me want to give up control and say fuck it and just go with the flow.
He is the opposite of what I pictured for myself. He’s arrogant, cocky, full of himself, and a man whore. Well, reformed man whore. But he’s also sweet and caring and he’s trying to change himself so he can be a better man. He pushes me out of my comfort zone, but makes me feel safe the entire time. He takes the reins from me, but I know that if it’s ever too much, he’ll stop. He’s exactly what I need. And if he wasn’t Johnny Crown, I know Tia would be happy for me. She was always telling me that one day I would find the one I would give up control for and like it. I don’t know if Johnny is the one yet, but I like what he does to me.
My phone buzzes, waking me up. I must have fallen asleep on the couch. Rubbing my eyes, I open the text.
Tia: I need my bestie. Please come over.
Me: I’m hung over.
I stand up to go get a glass of water, but quickly sit back down. The room starts to spin and my head rings. You’d think a nap would have helped, but nope.
Tia: Please. I really need to talk to someone. Plus, it’s been too long. We used to get together all the time.
Fuck. Way to guilt trip me. But she’s right. It has been way too long.
Me: Fine. I’m on my way.
Tia: Love you. *kisses*
I smile. My girl is amazing, and I’ve been pushing her away because I’m afraid I’ll slip up and tell her about Johnny. Even when he pushed me away, I couldn’t run to Tia because it had to be a secret.
She’s always been there when I needed her, and it almost made me sick to not be able to open up to her. Best friends are supposed to always be honest and be there for each other, no matter what.
How long am I supposed to keep this up? I have a feeling it’s all going to blow up in my face and I’m going to end up completely destroyed.
Like Johnny knows that I’m thinking about him, his number lights up my phone.
Johnny: Hey, beautiful. What are you doing tonight?
Just seeing his name makes me smile.
Me: Getting together with Tia.
Johnny: Damn. I was hoping I could see you before I leave for ten days.
We’ve spent so much time apart, I really don’t want to have to go another ten days without him. But it’s reality with his job. And Tia needs me right now. I can’t blow her off again.
Me: Sorry. I’ve been blowing her off a lot. She’s my best friend. I have to be there for her.
Johnny: I understand.
Of course he understands, because he can’t make things easy and be his old asshole self.
Me: I’ll miss you, though.
Johnny: I’ll miss you too.
And there he goes, making me like him even more.
I run to Tia and I’s favorite pastry shop and grab a half a dozen cupcakes before heading over to her place.
“I feel like shit. I drank way too much last night. But I’m here, and I brought treats,” I announce as I enter Tia’s apartment.
Of course, I don’t knock. We are way past that point in our friendship. I have a key. This is pretty much my second home.
Tia takes the cupcakes from me setting them down on the counter before giving me a huge hug. “I missed you. Why does it feel like forever since we hung out last?”
“We are both busy ladies. You’re a new mom, and I’m a drunken mess,” I laugh.
“So, tell me what’s new. You look…” She pauses for a second. “Different.”
I smile at her, not sure what to say. How do I look different? Is it the hangover? I didn’t wash my face and I probably have leftover makeup on. Reaching into the fridge, I grab a couple of bottles of water and head to the living room, while Tia plates up a couple of cupcakes.
I have to give her something, or she is going to prod all night.
“Well, I’ve been hooking up with this guy for a little bit.” I take a bite of my cupcake before continuing. “It’s not serious. We’re more like fuck buddies. It happens pretty much every time I go out drinking, which has been a lot lately, since you’ve been so busy with CeCe.”
Not the whole truth, but close enough. Drunk and tipsy Leah wants Johnny even more than sober Leah, and that’s saying something.
“I’m sorry,” she sighs. “I’ve been a shit friend.”
“Don’t,” I insist. “You have not been a shit friend. You are a new mommy figuring out a whole new life. If anyone has been a shit friend, it’s been me. I should be here more often. CeCe needs to know her Auntie Leah better.”
I really should be here more. I wanted to support her so much when she first got pregnant, but instead, I’ve pretty much treated her like she has the plague.
She pushes my shoulder and turns on the TV. “I still love Mikey.”
“Well, yeah. You’re always going to love him, in a way. He will always hold a special place in your heart.”
“I know that, but I’m still in love with him.”
My eyes widen. “Oh?”
This is new information. Maybe if I hadn’t been so busy pushing her away, I would have known this sooner.
Tia sighs. “Yeah. I realized after our movie marathon that my feelings for him were stronger than I thought. Then today, after talking with him, I figured out that I still want to be with him. Everything is perfect right now, but what happens when he tries to move on with his life? I’ll just be the manager, and I don’t think I can deal with seeing him with someone else.”
“Have you told him how you feel?”
She grabs her cupcake and plays with the wrapper. “No. Can we even make a real relationship work?”
“In life, nothing is guaranteed. But you have to try, don’t you? He did the big gesture to woo you last time. Maybe now it’s your turn. Tell him how you feel. Open up to him.”
My thoughts drift to Johnny. Can we figure out a way to make it work? Like I just told Tia, nothing in life is guaranteed. So, should I risk it and give it a try? Maybe Tia will see how happy he makes me and understand. Or maybe she’ll kick me out of her life forever.
“I think you’re right,” Tia says, pulling me from my selfish thoughts. “I’ve always been so afraid of rejection and not being enough. Mikey broke me last time, but he’s proven he’s a different man.”
I wrap my arms around her and pull her in for a hug. “Good. Now let’s work on a plan.”
I’m so happy for my best friend. I know Mikey will take her back. The way he looks at her is special. It’s like she is his whole world. You can see the love he has for her. Even when they were fighting, there was something about the way he looked at her. It was different.
I wish I could talk about Johnny with Tia. I wish I could tell her how I really feel about him, but I can’t. My happiness isn’t more important than hers. I can’t do this to her. She finally has everything going her way. I can’t rip the rug out from under her like this.
“What is going on with you?” Tia asks me, breaking me from my thoughts.
I put on a fake smile, hoping it will fool her. “Nothing. I’m just so happy for you. I know you and Mikey will get back together.”
She smiles. I’m relieved that she bought that. She usually knows me better, but I guess she’s distracted enough thinking about Mikey.
“I have a great idea. I just need your help,” she says.
I’d do anything for Tia. She’s like my sister, and it’s tearing me apart to have to lie to her. I just can’t see a way this will work where we can both be happy.
I’ve been avoiding Johnny like the homeless man who lives on the corner and wants to tell me about Jesus, and it’s eating me alive. All I want is to call him and jump into bed with him. To sleep in his arms, to feel his heat warming my body. But I’ve been so busy helping Tia throw a surprise party for Mikey that I don’t have time to think about him, which I guess is a good thing.
I can’t be around Tia and Johnny at the same time. I know that I would let something slip, so I have to keep Johnny at arm’s length.
“Is everything set up?” Tia asks, biting her nail.
I put my hand on her shoulder. “Like I’ve told you for the hundredth time, yes.”
“But are you sure? This has to be perfect.”
Seriously, this girl’s anxiety is giving me anxiety. She needs to calm down.
“Go change into your new dress. Everything is fine,” I say, shoving her toward the house.
Tia’s smile lights up her face as she walks away to go change. About fucking time. I love that girl, but she can be crazy when she feels like everything needs to be perfect.
Following my nose, I walk over to Mikey’s dad, who is manning the grill. “Everything smells amazing, Mr. Ecosta. Thanks again for letting us use your place for this little get-together.”
“It’s Henry,” he reminds me with his handsome smile.
Mikey looks so much like his father. Tia is lucky to have a man who will most likely age very well.
“Sorry. Old habits die hard,” I tell him.
“I’d do anything for my son, and he and Tia are meant for each other.”
I nod. “I agree, and everything looks like it’s coming together perfectly. Just wait until you hear Tia sing. She’s amazing.”
He smiles and his eyes light up. They are the exact same shade as his son’s. “I’m sure she is. If you’ll excuse me, I think I heard Mikey.”
I nod and walk off to where Crystal is standing.
“Hey, girl. How is everything going?”
“Really good, Olivia is growing like a weed.”
Crystal’s eyes drift toward her daughter, who happens to be playing with Dustin. Her eyes soften at the sight.
“And what’s going on between you two?” I ask, motioning between her and Dustin.
Crystal’s eyes go wide. “Who? Dustin? We’re just friends.”
She looks away quickly. Yeah, I’m totally calling bullshit, but I won’t push it today.
“Mmm-hmm,” I mumble, raising an eyebrow at her.
Mikey’s mom, Carol, comes over to us with a huge smile on her face. “Everything looks amazing. Mikey is here and playing with CeCe. Where is Tia?”
“Right here,” Tia calls from where the small sound system is set up.
“You look amazing,” I tell her as we make our way over to her.
“Thanks. Is it too much?” she asks, playing with her new red dress. It’s long and flowy, and fits her body perfectly.
“Hell no!” Crystal exclaims.
I giggle.
“Okay, Tia, are you ready? I don’t think I can keep Mikey in the house much longer,” Carol tells her.
Jay Coldheart, former member of the Broken Hearts and Tia’s close friend, sits down beside her and grabs his guitar. “I’m ready when you are, sissy.”
Tia takes a deep breath, closing her eyes. When she opens them again, they’re bright and happy. She smiles at us.
“Let’s do this,” she says.
Carol brings Mikey out and seats him in the lone chair in front of Tia.
Everyone is standing back, ready for Tia to sing. There aren’t a lot of people here, but the people that mean a lot to Tia and Mikey are here.
Tia clears her throat, and everyone quiets. “I want to thank everyone for coming to Mikey’s birthday party today. But I want to say a few things to Mikey first.” She looks at Mikey, and it’s like everyone else has disappeared. “Our time together has been crazy; we have had ups and downs and everything else in between. We have hurt each other and loved each other fiercely. I can’t predict the future, and I don’t know if we will last forever, but I want to try again. When I think about my future, it’s only you I see, so to show you how I feel, I want to sing you a song.”
Tia looks at Jay and nods. He starts playing, and I smile. It’s been a long time since I’ve heard Tia sing in front of people. She gets really nervous singing in front of large groups, which is why she never pursued a career in the limelight. It usually takes a lot of liquor to get her to sing in front of a crowd.
When she finishes her rendition of “Make You Feel My Love” by Adele, she still only has eyes for Mikey.
“So, what do you say, Mikey? Can we give this one more try?” she asks.
Mikey gives CeCe to his mom, walks over to Tia, and plants a not-so-PG kiss on her lips.
I smile and everyone cheers.
My heart drops a little when my thoughts drift to Johnny. If he was any other guy, he would be here with me right now. I would be able to kiss him in front of everyone. He could be holding me right now. But he’s not any other guy. He’s Johnny Crown, public enemy number one.
I look up at the sky, fighting off tears. Today is about Tia and Mikey, not me. I need to get over myself and be happy for them.
“What kind of fucking pitching was that?” Coach Gibbs yells at me.
“We won, didn’t we?” I scoff back at him.
“Yeah, with no help from you. You’d better pull your head out of your ass. You take these next couple of days off and figure your shit out. I’m not dealing with this again, Johnny.”
I nod and head toward my locker.
Leah isn’t answering my calls. While I was gone, she started distancing herself, but when I got back, she stonewalled me completely. I don’t know what’s going on, but I can’t get my head straight.
When I get to my truck, I text Leah. I need fucking answers.
Me: At least tell me we’re done. Just ignoring me isn’t the way to do this, Leah.
Leah: Fine. We’re done. Are you happy? Now please leave me alone.
My heart drops. For fuck’s sake.
I throw my phone onto the passenger side floorboard and pound my fist on the steering wheel.
Whatever. She’s just a fucking woman. I knew this wouldn’t work out.
I’m Johnny Crown. I can find another pussy to fuck when I need to.
I run a hand over my face, then rest my forehead against the steering wheel.
Who I am kidding? Leah isn’t just some woman. She’s the woman. But how can I get her back when she won’t even tell me what’s going on?
I remember the dream about my mom.
“You need to talk to the people you have wronged. Once they forgive you, she will truly be yours.”
I need to talk to Mikey. Now.
I take a deep breath and pull up his number. His mom gave me his new number a while ago. I haven’t tried to use it until now.
“Hello?” Mikey answers, obviously not knowing it’s me.
“Hey, man. It’s me.”
I half-expect him to hang up and not even talk to me.
“What do you want, Johnny?” he bites out.
“We need to talk. I have some of your things to give you, and there’s something I need to tell you.”
“Whatever it is, keep it. I just got back together with Tia, and I’m not about to risk losing her by talking to you.”
I sigh. “I understand, dude. She has plenty of reasons to hate me, but this is really important. Please. Just one hour, and then you never have to talk to me again.”
The line goes quiet for a moment. He really is done with me. I’ve lost my best friend forever.
“Fine,” he finally sighs, breaking the silence.
“Really?”
“One hour. I’ll come to your place. See you tonight.”
I smile. He’s giving me a chance.
“See you tonight,” I tell him.
I can’t fuck this up.
A couple of hours later, I get a notification that my front gate has been opened. Mikey is here.
My palms are sweaty, and I feel like my heart is going to pound out of my chest. My whole future happiness rides on Mikey and I being able to reconcile. If I can’t get Mikey to forgive me, I have no hope for anything. Tia won’t forgive me, and then Leah and I can never be together. I’m positive that Leah broke up with me because she was having a hard time lying to Tia.
I open the front door and watch Mikey walk up the small path.
“Miss me that much that you’re waiting at the door for me?” Mikey jokes.
“Shut up and get inside,” I joke back.
We head to the living room. Sitting on the table in front of us is Amber’s journal and box of stolen items.
