Hidden Kisses (Love in Sienna Series Book 2), page 14
My dick stands at attention at her noises, and I fight back a groan. I’m only wearing boxers. If I can’t get this erection down, the second I stand, she’ll see it all. Not that I’m ashamed, but I just don’t want her thinking that all I think about is sex. But, in reality, it’s definitely on the top five list of things I think about the most often. Leah is on that list too.
I’m lost in thought when Leah breaks in. “What about you? What do you see for your future?”
I put my fork down and swivel my body so I’m facing her. “I see you, Leah.”
Her eyes go wide and a small gasp escapes her lips.
I grab her hands and stare into her eyes. “I’ve never wanted a woman until I met you. You know about my man-whoring days, but I don’t want to be like that anymore, Leah. I want to be a good man. I want to be your man. I’m working on a way to apologize to Tia, and Mikey and I have been talking. When the tour is over, I’m going to make amends. I’m hoping she’ll see that I really have changed. I want you, Leah. Please say you’ll be mine.”
Leah closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “I should say no.” She opens her eyes and looks at me. “But I can’t. I can’t stop thinking about you. I don’t sleep at night. I barely concentrate at work, and I know people are noticing. I don’t know why you affect me like you do. You’re the guy I should be running from. I should hate you, but I can’t.” She stands up, positioning herself between my legs and placing her hands on my face. “So, yes.” She gently places her lips on mine. “I’ll be yours.”
I lift her onto my lap and deepen the kiss. I want to tell her I love her, but it’s too early.
But I do love her. I don’t know when or how it happened, but a feeling like this can’t be anything other than love.
I pick Leah up and bring her to the living room. As much as I want to take her to my bed and have my way with her, I know we need to take things slow after last night.
If that fucker would have raped her, he wouldn’t be breathing right now. But I need to forget about him and focus on my woman.
“So, do you want to watch a chick flick or an action movie?” I ask her as I sit on the couch, placing her on my lap.
She bites her lip, and I have to keep reminding myself we are going slow.
“A chick flick, please,” she mumbles.
I smile and kiss her lips gently. I’d do anything for this woman, so chick flick, it is.
Two weeks. It’s been the best two weeks of my life. I spend almost every night at Johnny’s, and I don’t think I’ve ever slept this well.
It’s been easy to think that this could be real. Johnny is off for the season, and Tia is gone for the tour. But reality will kick in soon. I don’t have to lie to Tia right now while she’s gone, but I can’t lie to her when she gets back.
I keep contemplating if I should end things now. This can never work. I want it to work so badly, but it just can’t. But it feels too good to end it.
I’m pretty sure I love him. And how can love be wrong? Yes, he fucked up in his past, but he has changed. He’s trying to make up for the shitty things he did. Maybe Tia really can forgive him.
I roll over in the bed and kiss Johnny’s chest.
“I love you,” I whisper to his sleeping body.
I can’t say it when he wakes up, because then I’ll be done. Right now, I’m letting myself be happy. I’m being selfish and living in the moment, but as soon as Tia comes back, so will reality. And then this will be over.
“Good evening, Mr. Bukwell,” I say to my neighbour who lives across the street from me, while rummaging through my bag.
Where the hell is my mail key? I just want to get my mail and get back to Johnny’s now. It’s been a long day, and I just want it to end.
“Hello, beautiful,” he says with a creepy wink.
Mr. Bukwell has always been weird. He makes odd comments and sends shivers down my spine. Tia and Rayna constantly joke that he’s seen me naked since I never close my blinds, but I doubt that’s true.
“Haven’t seen you around in a long time. Not spending many nights at your place,” he notes.
“I have a new boyfriend,” I tell him.
Why must my purse be so big?
“Oh. Are you planning on moving? I’d really miss seeing you around.”
“I don’t think we are at that point in our relationship yet.”
Why am I still talking to him? I should just ignore him. But even though he’s creepy, he’s always been nice.
“Well, that’s good. I also wanted to remind you, you should close those blinds of yours, dear. You never know who’s looking. I mean, unless you want them to see.” He glances over my body and gives me a creepy smile before walking off.
My eyes go wide and my skin crawls. Fuck! He’s totally seen me naked. I’m never opening my blinds again.
Finally, I find my keys and grab my mail quickly. Another shiver runs down my spine at the thought of creepy Mr. Bukwell seeing me naked, and I walk as fast as possible back to my car.
Me: Mr. Bukwell has seen me naked.
Rayna: *crying laughing face* Told you to close those damn blinds.
Me: Don’t lecture me. I need to bleach my skin at the thought.
Rayna: Bahahahahaha! Are you going to stop walking around naked now?
Me: Probably not. LOL!
Rayna: Have a great night. TTYL.
“Can we please go out tonight?” Johnny asks from the kitchen.
I’m lying on the couch in the living room, playing on my phone. It’s been a little under two months since we started dating, and I’m pretty much living here now.
“But it’s cold out,” I whine.
Of course, the real reason is that I don’t want us to be seen. Johnny is still a favorite of the paparazzi, and if a picture gets leaked, our happiness will crumble. If Tia knew what I’ve been doing behind her back, our friendship would be over.
Johnny walks over to me and sits down, lifting me so I move to his lap.
“Baby, I promise we won’t be seen. I just really want to take you out to dinner. A real date. Please?” He bats his lashes at me.
I roll my eyes.
“I’m not ready, Johnny.” I bury my face in his neck.
His grip on me tightens and I hear him sigh.
“Why don’t we just tell her now?” he asks. “I know Mikey said to wait until the tour was over, but I just want to be a real couple, Leah. This is frustrating, not being able to show you off to the world.”
I kiss his neck. “I’m sorry, Johnny. We can’t. Mikey called me last night. The tour breaks in the middle of December and resumes at the beginning of January. He wants to propose to Tia when he performs at Sienna Stadium. I can’t ruin their engagement. We have to wait a little bit longer. The tour ends in May, and then you can apologize and we can make our relationship public.”
“That’s six fucking months, Leah,” Johnny growls. He stands with me in his arms and smashes his lips to mine. “I can’t wait that long.”
He presses his lips back to mine and his tongue pushes into my mouth. I don’t fight it. I can tell how much he wants me, how much he needs me.
“I’ll wait until after the engagement, but that’s it, Leah. You’re mine and I want the world to know,” he tells me.
He carries me to the bedroom, and I know this conversation is over.
“It’s been a really long fucking day at work,” I say, throwing my keys on the little table by the door and taking my coat off.
I pause in awe when I see the little candles lining the hall, making a path towards the living room.
As I make my way toward the living room, I hear soft music playing. The moment I enter, my breath is taken away. There are candles everywhere and so many platters of finger food spread out on the coffee table. I inhale the delicious smell, and then my eyes zoom in on Johnny, who is sitting on the floor with a bunch of comfy pillows laid out and the fireplace behind him roaring.
When I finally meet his eyes, I can tell he is a bit sheepish.
“You did this all for me?” I ask, slowly making my way over to him.
“I may not be able to take you out on the town, but I wanted to show you how special you are to me,” he says quietly.
I lean down and press my lips to his, cradling his face in my hands.
“This is better than any restaurant,” I whisper against his lips. “No one has ever done anything like this for me before.”
I blink back the tears. I’ve had several long-term boyfriends, but since I always had to be in control and never gave up the reins, no one ever treated me this special. Maybe I was just making the wrong choice in men. I never knew that letting someone take care of me would feel this nice.
Johnny pulls me down into his lap and deepens the kiss. “As much as I want to fuck you right now, I know you must be famished, so let’s eat.”
I smile and give him a small kiss before grabbing a plate and loading up.
Johnny was right; I am starving. Work was super busy today. Three of my clients all had complaints that I had to file. Normally I don’t get hit that hard at work. It’s usually one case or client at a time.
“I’m glad today is over,” I say around a mouthful of food.
Fuck. Maybe I should have swallowed. People bitch about me talking with food in my mouth all the time. I just don’t think about it that often. When I have something to say, I just say it. But Johnny doesn’t say anything. He just smiles at me.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks.
I shake my head. “No. It was just busy, that’s all. I’m glad I’m here with you.”
“Speaking of that, I was wondering if maybe you would move in permanently?”
I smile at him. That is so sweet, and I do already spend every night here. I just bring a bag over with a week’s worth of clothes and go home on Sundays to do laundry and grab new clothes.
But if Tia decided to show up at my place and I didn’t live there anymore, this whole thing would be blown up.
“Maybe after you talk to Tia,” I suggest.
Johnny’s face drops, and my heart breaks a little. I put my plate down and crawl into his lap, cupping his face so he is forced to look into my eyes.
“It’s not that I don’t want to, Johnny. Really. I would love to, but things are complicated right now.”
Johnny gently places me on the floor and stands up. “When aren’t they going to be fucking complicated? I want to tell Tia. I want to make things right. But it’s never the right time, according to you and Mikey. I’ve changed for you. I’m better man because of you. I get that I was a royal fuck-up before you, and I understand that I hurt people. But what I don’t understand is why you just want to keep me your dirty little secret. I’m different. People can change. I’m through with this bullshit, Leah.”
He storms off down the hall to his bedroom.
I place my face on my knees, feeling the tears soaking through my pants. I don’t know what to say or do. He isn’t wrong. He’s an amazing man now, and I’m keeping him a secret from pretty much everybody. I didn’t invite him for Thanksgiving with Mason and our aunt, even though I knew he would be alone. The only people who even know about us are Rayna and Mikey.
I’m a fucking bitch.
Tia will be home in a week, for three and a half weeks. Maybe we should tell her as soon as she gets home. But, fuck. What if she’s too mad and it ruins the proposal? No, I can’t do that.
Standing, I wipe my tears and make my way toward the bedroom, knocking gently on the door.
“Come in,” I hear Johnny mumble.
When I walk in, I see all the candles and flower petals. Johnny put in so much effort for tonight and I fucking ruined it. Another tear rolls down my cheek.
“I’m so sorry, Johnny.” I say, walking toward him and sitting on the bed. “I just don’t know what to do.”
He pulls me into his arms and takes a deep breath. “I know, baby. I shouldn’t have gotten so angry. This just sucks.”
I nod my head against his chest. “I agree. But in four weeks, Mikey and Tia will be engaged and we can come clean. I don’t even care if she hates me.”
Johnny pulls me back and gives me a look, calling my bullshit.
I smile. “Okay, I’ll care, but it doesn’t matter. I love you, Johnny. That’s all that matters.”
His eyes go wide. We haven’t said the love word before. But I mean it. I love him, and I’m not leaving him.
He places a gentle kiss against my lips. “The last person to love me was ripped from me when I was young. I don’t know love well, Leah, but I know I love you.”
I open my lips for him allowing him to deepen the kiss.
I’ve been in love before, but nothing as intense as what I feel for Johnny. The moment I met him, there was just something instant. I wouldn’t say it was love at first sight, but there was definitely a connection.
Johnny rolls us so he is on top of me.
“Is it so wrong that I just want to tell everyone about the woman who stole my heart?” He nips at my neck and I can’t help but giggle.
I reach for his face and pull his lips to mine.
“Of course not,” I say, brushing my lips against his. “Soon, I promise.”
Johnny grabs my arms and holds them over my head.
“What should I do to you for ruining this amazing night I had planned?” he asks as he bites and kisses my neck and shoulder.
A shiver runs down my spine in anticipation. No one before Johnny was ever allowed to take control. But I so easily give up the control to Johnny, and the sound of punishment is turning me on.
“Whatever you think you should do,” I whisper. I don’t even recognize my own voice.
His eyes darken, and I can tell this is turning him on as much as it is me.
“Stand up and take your clothes off, slowly,” he demands, his voice hoarse with arousal.
My knees feel weak, and I can feel my pussy getting wetter. Why is this turning me on so much? Would it have been this good with the others if I let go of my control or is it just Johnny?
I do as I’m told and start to take my clothes off.
“Slowly,” Johnny barks as my shirt hits the floor.
I freeze; his voice is so controlling, and my body is reacting accordingly. Does he know what this is doing to me? I take a breath before I resume undoing my pants and making sure to slowly pull them off. I wiggle my ass a little, and I hear Johnny growl.
“Teasing will get you extra punishment,” he warns.
I look over my shoulder at him through my lashes. “Maybe that’s what I want.”
Did I seriously just say that? I’ve never been punished sexually before. Am I even going to enjoy this? But I enjoy pretty much everything with Johnny, so probably. And the throbbing between my legs is yelling that, hell yes, I am going to enjoy every minute of this.
He growls again, and as soon as my panties are on the floor, he is behind me, undoing my bra and throwing it to the floor. The contact of his fingers on my bare skin sends wonderful shivers down my spin. He reaches a hand around my body and places his fingers between my legs.
“So fucking wet,” he hisses, making me pant.
His breath on my neck makes me want to beg for whatever is about to happen.
“Go to the bed and bend over. I’m about to show you what happens to little teases.” His voice is low and husky.
It goes straight to my girl parts, and I swear to God, I’m almost ready to come. Yeah, I’m totally going to enjoy this.
I do as I’m told, bending over and placing my upper body and face on the bed.
“Good girl,” he says, putting his hand on my ass and rubbing it gently.
Before I know what’s happening, his hand is coming down hard on my ass. I let out a squeal and I hear Johnny chuckle. He doesn’t count; he just delivers another couple of good spankings, rubbing my ass between each slap.
I hear the telltale sound of the condom wrapper, and I have never been happier to hear that sound.
Johnny runs his hand over my ass, spreading my cheeks and placing a finger on an area no one has ever touched before. The rest of his body is on top of mine, his mouth on my neck. My eyes go wide, and my heart starts pounding harder. I don’t know what to do. That has never been something I’ve ever wanted to try before. How does this work? Is he just going to shove his finger in there?
“I can’t wait to take your ass,” he says, his voice breathy and hot on my neck. He kisses my neck gently. “But I’m not doing that tonight. And I think you’ve been punished enough. You did so good, baby, and now I’m going to reward you. Are you ready to come for me?”
“Yes,” I whimper as he stands back up and places his other hand between my legs and slowly slips two fingers inside.
“God, Leah, you are fucking dripping wet. You said you hated not being in control, but your body says something completely different.”
His fingers are slow, not rushed, and it’s driving me nuts. I try to rock back to make him go faster but it doesn’t help.
I hear Johnny chuckle, and I want to hit him.
“I thought you said my punishment is over. Will you hurry up and fuck me already?” I huff out.
I look over my shoulder, and he has the biggest smile on his face.
“Is that how a lady should talk?” he asks.
If I wasn’t so needy right now, I would hit him.
“You know I’m not a lady, so hurry up,” I whine.
“Bring your knees onto the bed but keep your head down,” he commands.
I do as I’m told. He enters me ever so slowly, and I cry out.
“Fuck,” Johnny hisses between his teeth. “You’re always so fucking tight.”
He grabs my hips tight. It almost hurts, but it feels so good at the same time. I think I’m going to have bruises tomorrow, but I don’t care.
“Yes, baby!” I cry out as he picks up his speed. I am so close, I can taste it.
“Come for me, Leah,” he demands.
