Home for the Holidays, page 25
“That’s a bullshit answer.”
Iris sighed as she tossed her phone next to her on the futon. She heard Stacey let out a gasp.
“Don’t you dare toss me away.”
She groaned as she picked the phone back up. “Talking to Mary is not easy. You know this.”
It never had been. Her mom loved her, of course, but Iris was sure that underneath the love was a level of hatred she would never admit to. Hatred because Iris was a lesbian, yes, but also because Iris was nothing at all like her mom had wanted her to be. She struggled financially, emotionally, mentally. She made poor decisions. She slept around. She moved away. She barely called. She didn’t do a single thing to work toward a better relationship with her, which was definitely not something she wanted to admit from her shiny pedestal of psychological righteousness.
“It’s always about her,” she choked out. “Every time we talk. How did she mess up? Why does she have a gay daughter? That’s hard to deal with.”
“Well, like you’ve been telling Zac for the past however many days, I think you need to be honest with your mom.” She shrugged. “That’d be a great step toward healing.”
Being honest meant shedding the years of padding she’d built up in order to deal with her mom. She hated feeling this way about her. Mary Abbott wasn’t a bad mom, and growing up, Iris had loved her more than anything. As she aged, though, and learned more about the world, she realized she probably hadn’t been loved the way she needed to be. She had to fight for every scrap of validation. She had worked her butt off in school; got straight As; got into NYU on a scholarship, where she had straight As again; got into the master’s program—again, straight As; and still, her mom thought she should have taken a different route. No congratulations, no ‘Great job,’ no ‘I’m proud of you,’ nothing. It was sad and frustrating, but Iris did what she had always done. She ran as far away as possible. She had stayed in New York and grew to love it because she knew it was the only way to escape. Except that wasn’t the case anymore, was it?
“Speaking of honesty…”
“Oh god,” Stacey said. “What?”
“How hard would it be to continue our practice together if I worked remotely?”
“Remote from where?” Stacey’s eyes widened as it hit her. “From there? From Indiana?”
“I know; it’s nuts, isn’t it?”
“It is. Yes.” Stacey’s small smile appeared, though, and calmed Iris’s nerves. “But it’s not shocking.”
“It should be. You know this isn’t me. To even consider—”
“It’s not you, I know. But… that’s why I’m not shocked. Can we discuss this when you get home?”
“About that…”
“After New Year’s, I take it?” Stacey groaned. “Who am I supposed to spend New Year’s Eve with?”
“I’m sorry.” Iris gave Stacey her best sympathetic face. “But you know I wouldn’t be staying if I didn’t think this was what I wanted.”
Stacey’s smile said she understood. “I love you, Iris.”
“I love you, too. I’ll call you soon.”
“You’d better.”
After ending her call with Stacey, she leaned back on the futon. Not only did she unearth some deep trauma shit on that phone call, but she actually floated the idea of transplanting to Indiana to her business partner and best friend. What in the world had gotten into her?
Moving out of New York City had been on her radar for a while. She knew eventually she’d have to leave. For one, she simply couldn’t afford it, especially if Zac ever moved on. And now that it seemed he was definitely going to move on, she knew her time was coming. She couldn’t live with Stacey. They’d kill each other. And aside from her practice, nothing was really keeping her there.
It was a hard decision because she loved the big city. The hustle and bustle of the city that never sleeps. Of course, she’d been having more and more trouble sleeping, and she couldn’t be known as the Therapist Who Never Sleeps. She needed a change. A big one.
She also, according to Stacey, needed to speak to her mom. That idea, unlike moving her entire life to a small Midwest town, was causing her a lot of anxiety.
Recognizing that she didn’t think she was enough because she never had been enough was the outcome of a self-reflection exercise she didn’t think she needed to do. The hardest part of it all was that the one woman who should have loved her unconditionally, who should have loved her because she was different, not in spite of it, was the main culprit. Which meant communicating that to her. To her mom. Who would probably tell her she was being too emotional.
She was always too much. Too loud. Too annoying. Too gay.
But never enough at the same time.
How? How was that even possible?
No wonder she never wanted a relationship. No wonder she left the second she felt validated. No wonder she ran. And ran. And ran.
It wasn’t because she was incapable of loving someone. It was because she was incapable of loving herself.
The very same thing that Zac struggled with.
As though he could sense her thoughts, Zac appeared at the top of the steps to his room. “Hey there,” he said. “You doing okay?”
“Not really,” she said. “Just up here having an existential crisis.”
“Oh, cool, so no biggie?”
She laughed. “Yeah, no biggie at all.”
He came over and sat next to her. “Talk to me. Why didn’t you tell me things were so strained between you and your mom?”
“Same reason you didn’t tell me that things weren’t that strained, I guess.”
“Seems like a crappy answer, but I’ll allow it.” He nudged her playfully. “What’s going on?”
“I’ve been preaching at you this entire time about how being honest with the people who love you is the only way to be completely free.”
“Yep, you sure have.”
“And I’m up here, thinking about my mom, thinking about you, thinking about your mom…” She shook her head and corrected herself. “Heidi… And I can’t get past the fact that you and I? We are so similar. We both thought the same way. You thought you weren’t worthy of happiness; so did I. But I had my head buried so deep that I didn’t even realize I wasn’t happy. I kept telling myself I was fine. I was happy. And then all of this happened.” She slumped back into the futon again and sighed. “You did what you were supposed to. And now I need to be honest with my mom. The only difference is your mom accepted you with open arms. And my mom? She’s only ever accepted me at arm’s length. I’ve never been enough.”
“Iris—”
“No, Zac, please, don’t say anything. I know I’m enough. I know I am. It’s just that this is all hitting me at once. You’re witnessing one of my most significant mental breakdowns, my friend.”
“How nice of you to save this one for me.” He pulled her toward him and wrapped his arms around her. “I love you, Iris. You are going to get through this.”
“I hope so. I finally found someone I want to spend my life with. I don’t want to be a wreck the entire time. Like, how horrible would that be?”
“Please. If there’s anyone with the patience to handle you and your weird moods, it’s my fucking mom.” He groaned. “I can’t believe you’re with my mom. Of all the people in Vale Park, Indiana, you fell for her?”
“Yeah, I did.” She sat up and looked at him. “I know it’s nutty and happened so fucking fast, but I couldn’t stop it. I tried to. So did she. It was like we were on a runaway train, with no brakes and no end of the track in sight.”
“Did you meet her at the café that morning before you knew she was my mom?”
She answered his question with a simple nod, knowing if she verbally answered, she would blush a thousand shades of red.
“I have a confession to make,” he said softly. “I didn’t talk about her to you or show you pictures or warn you about her because I had this weird feeling that you would…” The way his voice trailed off and the look of surrender on his face made Iris’s heart clench. “I know you, Iris. I knew she was your type. And the last thing I wanted to do was get your hopes up. It’s been this thing with us, right? You talk me down from guys I have no chance with, and I do the same for you with the chicks. Except, nine times out of ten, you end up with the girls we thought you didn’t have a chance with.”
Iris grinned. “I’m charming. What can I say?”
“Yeah, well, I had no idea she was going to fall for your charms.” He rubbed his hands over his face and let out a low “Oh, god.”
“What? What’s wrong?”
“Are you going to be my stepmom one day? Because that’s going to be a lot for me.”
She couldn’t stop the laughter that bubbled out of her. “I don’t know. Maybe one day.”
“I’ll never call you ‘Mom.’ I hope you know that.”
“You better not. I’ll slit your throat.”
They continued to laugh together, and for the first time since everything happened, Iris felt like their friendship might just make it. Was it weird? Yes. But to lose each other would have been significantly weirder.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
If a list of strange dinner parties existed, last night’s was near the top. The only thing that would have made it even more strange and strained would have been if Sandy had shown up. Thankfully, Heidi didn’t put that one into the universe. Knowing her luck as of late, thinking it would have manifested it.
Iris handled the evening like a pro. Mary seemed to lighten up as well, once she was on her third glass of Conundrum Red. An outsider would have never known that Iris and her mom had issues. They were talking and giggling together, and at one point, Mary even leaned over, kissed Iris on the cheek, and told her how much she loved her. Heidi wondered how often Mary sent signals like that. Ones that were not necessarily mixed, but maybe hazy?
After dinner, the conversation they all had as they sat around the fireplace was interesting as well. Mary went on and on about the PFLAG chapter and how proud she was of Iris. She said a few times that she regretted not telling her that more often. Was she reading Iris’s mind, or was she simply reading the room? Either way, Heidi hoped it meant Iris and her mom could find some peace. She could tell from a mile away, regardless of Iris’s attempts to try and act normal, that she was struggling.
And now it was morning. Heidi squinted her eyes and peered at the clock on her bedside table. Five in the morning to be precise. God. She was so tired. For good reason, obviously. Shortly after Iris had slid under the covers and said she didn’t give a fuck that her parents were in the guest room downstairs, she had stripped Heidi’s clothes off and proceeded to make her come four times in a row.
And Heidi made sure to give Iris the same treatment. Sex with her was perfect and was quickly becoming her favorite thing to do. Her bakery would be in trouble if it started to be more fun than baking.
Oh, hell, who was she kidding? Sex with Iris was categorically more fun than baking.
She looked at the woman sleeping soundly beside her. She was lying on her stomach, left leg hiked up, face turned toward her. She looked peaceful, happy, and all Heidi wanted to do was wake her up and taste her. She scooted closer to her, gently lifted and folded the sheet and comforter from her bare body, and waited a beat to see if that would wake her up. When Iris didn’t move, Heidi ran her fingernails lightly down her back, then back up. A small smile started to appear on Iris’s lips. She circled her shoulder blades, then moved down her spine to the waistband of her panties, which she said she had to put back on to sleep. These small eccentricities were becoming her favorite things about Iris. Especially her soft mmm when Heidi slipped her hand beneath the fabric of her panties and over her ass.
Heidi pressed her naked body against Iris as she easily found her wetness. “Someone’s awake,” she whispered as she circled and then gently dipped a finger inside Iris. She was greeted with a low moan; then Iris moved and pushed her ass higher to give Heidi better access, and she took the invitation with glee. She pulled Iris’s panties off, adjusted her position to her knees, and started to thrust into her, one finger, then two, until she couldn’t handle it any longer. “I want to get my mouth on you.” She flipped Iris onto her back and settled between her legs with such finesse she even impressed herself. She put her mouth on Iris’s warm center, flicking her and licking her as she writhed beneath her. Within seconds, she could tell that Iris was close. Her sultry yeses and oh my gods were enough of an indication to know she was doing everything just right to bring her to a quick climax. Just like that, Iris arched her back, her leg muscles flexed, and she came with Heidi’s mouth still on her.
“Holy shit,” she whispered as her body collapsed into the bed. “Good morning.”
Heidi laughed as she plopped down next to her. She wiped her mouth shyly, for some reason feeling timid about the fact that she was covered in Iris. “Did you sleep?”
Iris rolled onto her side, her perky breasts lovely in the dawn light that had started to fill the room. “I did. Did you?”
“I did.” Heidi bit her lip when Iris reached across and casually started to circle one of her nipples. “What are you doing?”
“This will never be a one-way street, Heidi,” she said before she closed the distance between them and put her mouth on Heidi’s right breast. “Ever.” She bit down lightly on her nipple as it went erect. “Ya give, ya get.”
Heidi gasped when Iris’s hand slipped between her thighs. Her fingers were on Heidi’s clit, and before she could say another word, her orgasm was peeking its head around the corner. She was floored by how well Iris knew her way around her body. At her age, sometimes getting to orgasm took a little longer than it used to, but Iris did it with ease, as if she was meant to. And it felt so phenomenal. Heidi could only imagine how good it was going to feel when they’d been together for years and years and years.
Iris kissed her deeply and pushed her fingers inside of Heidi before she focused again on her clit. That’s all it took. Heidi unraveled. She arched her back and felt the wave crash into her, from her head to her toes and all at once. Once she had her breathing somewhat under control, she gasped out, “How do you do that to me?”
“Same way you do it to me.” Iris kissed her deeply. “I think maybe we were supposed to find each other.”
“I think you’re right.”
“Zac told me he didn’t tell me about you on purpose,” Iris said with a small laugh. “I think he knew something would happen.”
“Oh? Are you normally feral for older women?”
Iris lifted her head, shock on her face. “Absolutely not.”
“No?”
“I’m lying.” Iris laughed. “I’m a sucker for a MILF.”
Heidi couldn’t contain her laughter. “I’m a MILF, hmm?”
“Without a doubt, yes. The hottest one I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”
“You poor thing. We gotta get those eyes checked.”
“Oh, I can see.” Iris easily straddled Heidi’s hips. She had her hands on either side of Heidi’s head as she leaned down and asked, “Do you really not know how fucking gorgeous you are?” Heidi opened her mouth to protest, but Iris continued with, “You make my chest ache, Heidi. I look at you and…” She placed her hand over her heart. “And I have to remind myself to breathe. When I saw you that morning, in the café… Heidi, I thought how is this possible? How did I come here to this small town, as a fake girlfriend to a gay man, and possibly stumble upon the most stunning woman I’d ever seen before? I was speechless.”
“Oh, I remember. I was like, what is going on that this hot woman isn’t able to function right now?” Heidi chuckled at the memory. “I was taken by you, too, y’know.”
“Well, I was bowled over by you. By everything about you. Your hair, your eyes, your cute glasses, your ass in those fucking jeans,” Iris said followed by a low growl. “I could see perfectly then, and I can see perfectly now, my love. I can see the only woman I’ll ever fall in love with. And I’ve never been happier.”
Heidi allowed herself to take the compliment as Iris started to kiss her. She knew arguing wouldn’t get her anywhere. But kissing Iris? Well, that would get her everywhere.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
Coffee that morning wasn’t nearly as lovely as it had been the past mornings she’d spent in the Nowak house. This was due in large part to the fact that Iris was worrying herself sick about having a conversation with her mom.
“So, Iris, honey, are you…”
Iris stared at Mary over the top of her coffee mug, the rest of her sentence lingering on her mother’s lips like the awkwardness lingering in the air between them. “Am I what?”
“I just noticed that maybe, y’know, that…” she started, stumbling all over herself.
“Mom, spit it out, for fuck’s sake.”
“Whoa, language,” Skip mumbled. He went to sit at the table, but Mary shot him a glare. “O-on second thought, I’m going to take this coffee—”
“There’s a three-season room in the back,” Iris offered, expertly reading her mom’s stiffened spine and clenched jaw. “Might be cold, but you could start a fire.”
Skip’s blue eyes lit up. “Nice. I’ll see y’all next year.” He threw his hand in the air as he left, newspaper in hand, Maddie following behind him. She had been by his side since they arrived, which wasn’t shocking, considering Skip had always been something of a dog whisperer.
“Not a fan of you cursing at me.”
Iris turned her attention back to Mary. “Mom, I’m not cursing at you. I’m cursing. I’m frustrated, and sometimes, a good fuck can help alleviate that frustration.”
Mary’s tiny gasp came out as a squeak. “Me? Frustrating?” She smiled, though, which made Iris feel a million times better. This version of her mom, this lighter, not as irritating version, wasn’t as bad as the Mary she grew up with. The beating around the bush could stop, though, and Mary granted Iris her wish with her next question: “Are you and Heidi in a relationship?”
Iris sighed as she tossed her phone next to her on the futon. She heard Stacey let out a gasp.
“Don’t you dare toss me away.”
She groaned as she picked the phone back up. “Talking to Mary is not easy. You know this.”
It never had been. Her mom loved her, of course, but Iris was sure that underneath the love was a level of hatred she would never admit to. Hatred because Iris was a lesbian, yes, but also because Iris was nothing at all like her mom had wanted her to be. She struggled financially, emotionally, mentally. She made poor decisions. She slept around. She moved away. She barely called. She didn’t do a single thing to work toward a better relationship with her, which was definitely not something she wanted to admit from her shiny pedestal of psychological righteousness.
“It’s always about her,” she choked out. “Every time we talk. How did she mess up? Why does she have a gay daughter? That’s hard to deal with.”
“Well, like you’ve been telling Zac for the past however many days, I think you need to be honest with your mom.” She shrugged. “That’d be a great step toward healing.”
Being honest meant shedding the years of padding she’d built up in order to deal with her mom. She hated feeling this way about her. Mary Abbott wasn’t a bad mom, and growing up, Iris had loved her more than anything. As she aged, though, and learned more about the world, she realized she probably hadn’t been loved the way she needed to be. She had to fight for every scrap of validation. She had worked her butt off in school; got straight As; got into NYU on a scholarship, where she had straight As again; got into the master’s program—again, straight As; and still, her mom thought she should have taken a different route. No congratulations, no ‘Great job,’ no ‘I’m proud of you,’ nothing. It was sad and frustrating, but Iris did what she had always done. She ran as far away as possible. She had stayed in New York and grew to love it because she knew it was the only way to escape. Except that wasn’t the case anymore, was it?
“Speaking of honesty…”
“Oh god,” Stacey said. “What?”
“How hard would it be to continue our practice together if I worked remotely?”
“Remote from where?” Stacey’s eyes widened as it hit her. “From there? From Indiana?”
“I know; it’s nuts, isn’t it?”
“It is. Yes.” Stacey’s small smile appeared, though, and calmed Iris’s nerves. “But it’s not shocking.”
“It should be. You know this isn’t me. To even consider—”
“It’s not you, I know. But… that’s why I’m not shocked. Can we discuss this when you get home?”
“About that…”
“After New Year’s, I take it?” Stacey groaned. “Who am I supposed to spend New Year’s Eve with?”
“I’m sorry.” Iris gave Stacey her best sympathetic face. “But you know I wouldn’t be staying if I didn’t think this was what I wanted.”
Stacey’s smile said she understood. “I love you, Iris.”
“I love you, too. I’ll call you soon.”
“You’d better.”
After ending her call with Stacey, she leaned back on the futon. Not only did she unearth some deep trauma shit on that phone call, but she actually floated the idea of transplanting to Indiana to her business partner and best friend. What in the world had gotten into her?
Moving out of New York City had been on her radar for a while. She knew eventually she’d have to leave. For one, she simply couldn’t afford it, especially if Zac ever moved on. And now that it seemed he was definitely going to move on, she knew her time was coming. She couldn’t live with Stacey. They’d kill each other. And aside from her practice, nothing was really keeping her there.
It was a hard decision because she loved the big city. The hustle and bustle of the city that never sleeps. Of course, she’d been having more and more trouble sleeping, and she couldn’t be known as the Therapist Who Never Sleeps. She needed a change. A big one.
She also, according to Stacey, needed to speak to her mom. That idea, unlike moving her entire life to a small Midwest town, was causing her a lot of anxiety.
Recognizing that she didn’t think she was enough because she never had been enough was the outcome of a self-reflection exercise she didn’t think she needed to do. The hardest part of it all was that the one woman who should have loved her unconditionally, who should have loved her because she was different, not in spite of it, was the main culprit. Which meant communicating that to her. To her mom. Who would probably tell her she was being too emotional.
She was always too much. Too loud. Too annoying. Too gay.
But never enough at the same time.
How? How was that even possible?
No wonder she never wanted a relationship. No wonder she left the second she felt validated. No wonder she ran. And ran. And ran.
It wasn’t because she was incapable of loving someone. It was because she was incapable of loving herself.
The very same thing that Zac struggled with.
As though he could sense her thoughts, Zac appeared at the top of the steps to his room. “Hey there,” he said. “You doing okay?”
“Not really,” she said. “Just up here having an existential crisis.”
“Oh, cool, so no biggie?”
She laughed. “Yeah, no biggie at all.”
He came over and sat next to her. “Talk to me. Why didn’t you tell me things were so strained between you and your mom?”
“Same reason you didn’t tell me that things weren’t that strained, I guess.”
“Seems like a crappy answer, but I’ll allow it.” He nudged her playfully. “What’s going on?”
“I’ve been preaching at you this entire time about how being honest with the people who love you is the only way to be completely free.”
“Yep, you sure have.”
“And I’m up here, thinking about my mom, thinking about you, thinking about your mom…” She shook her head and corrected herself. “Heidi… And I can’t get past the fact that you and I? We are so similar. We both thought the same way. You thought you weren’t worthy of happiness; so did I. But I had my head buried so deep that I didn’t even realize I wasn’t happy. I kept telling myself I was fine. I was happy. And then all of this happened.” She slumped back into the futon again and sighed. “You did what you were supposed to. And now I need to be honest with my mom. The only difference is your mom accepted you with open arms. And my mom? She’s only ever accepted me at arm’s length. I’ve never been enough.”
“Iris—”
“No, Zac, please, don’t say anything. I know I’m enough. I know I am. It’s just that this is all hitting me at once. You’re witnessing one of my most significant mental breakdowns, my friend.”
“How nice of you to save this one for me.” He pulled her toward him and wrapped his arms around her. “I love you, Iris. You are going to get through this.”
“I hope so. I finally found someone I want to spend my life with. I don’t want to be a wreck the entire time. Like, how horrible would that be?”
“Please. If there’s anyone with the patience to handle you and your weird moods, it’s my fucking mom.” He groaned. “I can’t believe you’re with my mom. Of all the people in Vale Park, Indiana, you fell for her?”
“Yeah, I did.” She sat up and looked at him. “I know it’s nutty and happened so fucking fast, but I couldn’t stop it. I tried to. So did she. It was like we were on a runaway train, with no brakes and no end of the track in sight.”
“Did you meet her at the café that morning before you knew she was my mom?”
She answered his question with a simple nod, knowing if she verbally answered, she would blush a thousand shades of red.
“I have a confession to make,” he said softly. “I didn’t talk about her to you or show you pictures or warn you about her because I had this weird feeling that you would…” The way his voice trailed off and the look of surrender on his face made Iris’s heart clench. “I know you, Iris. I knew she was your type. And the last thing I wanted to do was get your hopes up. It’s been this thing with us, right? You talk me down from guys I have no chance with, and I do the same for you with the chicks. Except, nine times out of ten, you end up with the girls we thought you didn’t have a chance with.”
Iris grinned. “I’m charming. What can I say?”
“Yeah, well, I had no idea she was going to fall for your charms.” He rubbed his hands over his face and let out a low “Oh, god.”
“What? What’s wrong?”
“Are you going to be my stepmom one day? Because that’s going to be a lot for me.”
She couldn’t stop the laughter that bubbled out of her. “I don’t know. Maybe one day.”
“I’ll never call you ‘Mom.’ I hope you know that.”
“You better not. I’ll slit your throat.”
They continued to laugh together, and for the first time since everything happened, Iris felt like their friendship might just make it. Was it weird? Yes. But to lose each other would have been significantly weirder.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
If a list of strange dinner parties existed, last night’s was near the top. The only thing that would have made it even more strange and strained would have been if Sandy had shown up. Thankfully, Heidi didn’t put that one into the universe. Knowing her luck as of late, thinking it would have manifested it.
Iris handled the evening like a pro. Mary seemed to lighten up as well, once she was on her third glass of Conundrum Red. An outsider would have never known that Iris and her mom had issues. They were talking and giggling together, and at one point, Mary even leaned over, kissed Iris on the cheek, and told her how much she loved her. Heidi wondered how often Mary sent signals like that. Ones that were not necessarily mixed, but maybe hazy?
After dinner, the conversation they all had as they sat around the fireplace was interesting as well. Mary went on and on about the PFLAG chapter and how proud she was of Iris. She said a few times that she regretted not telling her that more often. Was she reading Iris’s mind, or was she simply reading the room? Either way, Heidi hoped it meant Iris and her mom could find some peace. She could tell from a mile away, regardless of Iris’s attempts to try and act normal, that she was struggling.
And now it was morning. Heidi squinted her eyes and peered at the clock on her bedside table. Five in the morning to be precise. God. She was so tired. For good reason, obviously. Shortly after Iris had slid under the covers and said she didn’t give a fuck that her parents were in the guest room downstairs, she had stripped Heidi’s clothes off and proceeded to make her come four times in a row.
And Heidi made sure to give Iris the same treatment. Sex with her was perfect and was quickly becoming her favorite thing to do. Her bakery would be in trouble if it started to be more fun than baking.
Oh, hell, who was she kidding? Sex with Iris was categorically more fun than baking.
She looked at the woman sleeping soundly beside her. She was lying on her stomach, left leg hiked up, face turned toward her. She looked peaceful, happy, and all Heidi wanted to do was wake her up and taste her. She scooted closer to her, gently lifted and folded the sheet and comforter from her bare body, and waited a beat to see if that would wake her up. When Iris didn’t move, Heidi ran her fingernails lightly down her back, then back up. A small smile started to appear on Iris’s lips. She circled her shoulder blades, then moved down her spine to the waistband of her panties, which she said she had to put back on to sleep. These small eccentricities were becoming her favorite things about Iris. Especially her soft mmm when Heidi slipped her hand beneath the fabric of her panties and over her ass.
Heidi pressed her naked body against Iris as she easily found her wetness. “Someone’s awake,” she whispered as she circled and then gently dipped a finger inside Iris. She was greeted with a low moan; then Iris moved and pushed her ass higher to give Heidi better access, and she took the invitation with glee. She pulled Iris’s panties off, adjusted her position to her knees, and started to thrust into her, one finger, then two, until she couldn’t handle it any longer. “I want to get my mouth on you.” She flipped Iris onto her back and settled between her legs with such finesse she even impressed herself. She put her mouth on Iris’s warm center, flicking her and licking her as she writhed beneath her. Within seconds, she could tell that Iris was close. Her sultry yeses and oh my gods were enough of an indication to know she was doing everything just right to bring her to a quick climax. Just like that, Iris arched her back, her leg muscles flexed, and she came with Heidi’s mouth still on her.
“Holy shit,” she whispered as her body collapsed into the bed. “Good morning.”
Heidi laughed as she plopped down next to her. She wiped her mouth shyly, for some reason feeling timid about the fact that she was covered in Iris. “Did you sleep?”
Iris rolled onto her side, her perky breasts lovely in the dawn light that had started to fill the room. “I did. Did you?”
“I did.” Heidi bit her lip when Iris reached across and casually started to circle one of her nipples. “What are you doing?”
“This will never be a one-way street, Heidi,” she said before she closed the distance between them and put her mouth on Heidi’s right breast. “Ever.” She bit down lightly on her nipple as it went erect. “Ya give, ya get.”
Heidi gasped when Iris’s hand slipped between her thighs. Her fingers were on Heidi’s clit, and before she could say another word, her orgasm was peeking its head around the corner. She was floored by how well Iris knew her way around her body. At her age, sometimes getting to orgasm took a little longer than it used to, but Iris did it with ease, as if she was meant to. And it felt so phenomenal. Heidi could only imagine how good it was going to feel when they’d been together for years and years and years.
Iris kissed her deeply and pushed her fingers inside of Heidi before she focused again on her clit. That’s all it took. Heidi unraveled. She arched her back and felt the wave crash into her, from her head to her toes and all at once. Once she had her breathing somewhat under control, she gasped out, “How do you do that to me?”
“Same way you do it to me.” Iris kissed her deeply. “I think maybe we were supposed to find each other.”
“I think you’re right.”
“Zac told me he didn’t tell me about you on purpose,” Iris said with a small laugh. “I think he knew something would happen.”
“Oh? Are you normally feral for older women?”
Iris lifted her head, shock on her face. “Absolutely not.”
“No?”
“I’m lying.” Iris laughed. “I’m a sucker for a MILF.”
Heidi couldn’t contain her laughter. “I’m a MILF, hmm?”
“Without a doubt, yes. The hottest one I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”
“You poor thing. We gotta get those eyes checked.”
“Oh, I can see.” Iris easily straddled Heidi’s hips. She had her hands on either side of Heidi’s head as she leaned down and asked, “Do you really not know how fucking gorgeous you are?” Heidi opened her mouth to protest, but Iris continued with, “You make my chest ache, Heidi. I look at you and…” She placed her hand over her heart. “And I have to remind myself to breathe. When I saw you that morning, in the café… Heidi, I thought how is this possible? How did I come here to this small town, as a fake girlfriend to a gay man, and possibly stumble upon the most stunning woman I’d ever seen before? I was speechless.”
“Oh, I remember. I was like, what is going on that this hot woman isn’t able to function right now?” Heidi chuckled at the memory. “I was taken by you, too, y’know.”
“Well, I was bowled over by you. By everything about you. Your hair, your eyes, your cute glasses, your ass in those fucking jeans,” Iris said followed by a low growl. “I could see perfectly then, and I can see perfectly now, my love. I can see the only woman I’ll ever fall in love with. And I’ve never been happier.”
Heidi allowed herself to take the compliment as Iris started to kiss her. She knew arguing wouldn’t get her anywhere. But kissing Iris? Well, that would get her everywhere.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
Coffee that morning wasn’t nearly as lovely as it had been the past mornings she’d spent in the Nowak house. This was due in large part to the fact that Iris was worrying herself sick about having a conversation with her mom.
“So, Iris, honey, are you…”
Iris stared at Mary over the top of her coffee mug, the rest of her sentence lingering on her mother’s lips like the awkwardness lingering in the air between them. “Am I what?”
“I just noticed that maybe, y’know, that…” she started, stumbling all over herself.
“Mom, spit it out, for fuck’s sake.”
“Whoa, language,” Skip mumbled. He went to sit at the table, but Mary shot him a glare. “O-on second thought, I’m going to take this coffee—”
“There’s a three-season room in the back,” Iris offered, expertly reading her mom’s stiffened spine and clenched jaw. “Might be cold, but you could start a fire.”
Skip’s blue eyes lit up. “Nice. I’ll see y’all next year.” He threw his hand in the air as he left, newspaper in hand, Maddie following behind him. She had been by his side since they arrived, which wasn’t shocking, considering Skip had always been something of a dog whisperer.
“Not a fan of you cursing at me.”
Iris turned her attention back to Mary. “Mom, I’m not cursing at you. I’m cursing. I’m frustrated, and sometimes, a good fuck can help alleviate that frustration.”
Mary’s tiny gasp came out as a squeak. “Me? Frustrating?” She smiled, though, which made Iris feel a million times better. This version of her mom, this lighter, not as irritating version, wasn’t as bad as the Mary she grew up with. The beating around the bush could stop, though, and Mary granted Iris her wish with her next question: “Are you and Heidi in a relationship?”
