Home for the Holidays, page 22
“No.” Heidi shook Sandy away from her. “You can’t force me into a relationship. I’ve told you it’s not what I want.” She crossed the gap to the door and went to open it, but Sandy was behind her, holding it closed. “Let me leave, please.”
“Heidi, I’m in love with you.” Sandy’s hand was still pressed flat against the door. “I have been since the second I met you, when you and Stanley came to dinner that night and had drinks at the bar.”
Her eyes were glued to Sandy’s hand, her peeling nails, the dry cuticles, the scar along the top from a broken beer bottle, the way she started to slowly slide it down the door. Her stomach was churning. She turned and looked at her best friend. “And that means I should fall in love with you?”
Sandy’s voice broke. “I don’t understand how you can’t feel what I’m feeling.”
“Sandy,” she breathed out. “You mean to tell me that when I said this was never going to mean anything, you didn’t believe me? Did you think I was lying? Or naive? That I would eventually fall for you?”
“How can it mean nothing to you?”
“Oh my god,” Heidi whispered. “You are my best friend, and I love you more than anything in this world, but I am not in love with you. At all. And I never will be. You have to be okay with that. Because if you aren’t…” She paused and studied Sandy’s features, the determination melting away to acquiescence. “I’m sorry.”
“You would throw our friendship away?”
“No, you would. Because I’ve been so honest with you. I’ve never lied to you.” She placed her hand back on the doorknob and opened it. “I just can’t—”
And her words were cut short by Sandy’s mouth crashing into hers.
The only thing she heard was Nora’s tiny voice saying, “Sandy, why are you kissing Gramma?”
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
When Iris could no longer handle the emotions of the morning, she stood up and excused herself. She needed a breath of fresh air, and she needed it stat. Little did she know that she had been followed out of the living room, though, so when she turned abruptly to head outside, she smacked right into Stanley and realized her escape plan was ruined.
“My god, are you okay?” he asked, clearly concerned. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“Oh, yeah, I’m good. Thank you. I’m just gonna go grab some air.” She motioned toward the door.
“Why don’t you come with me?” He waved for her to follow him.
Against her better judgment, she did as he said and followed him through the house to the back, where there was a three-season room. She’d seen the room briefly when Zac gave her the thirty-second tour, but seeing it now, in broad daylight with the snow covering everything, was beautiful. The backyard was huge, with a giant tree in the middle and an old swing set off to the side.
“Wow, this is gorgeous,” she said as she stared out into the yard.
“This house is all her.” He sighed as he sat on a wicker couch across from the room’s fireplace. “All Heidi, I mean.”
The snow was all she could focus on until he patted the seat next to him. She was way too nervous for this conversation, wherever it was leading. When she finally sat, the couch creaked quietly beneath, but it was comfortable. She felt better because of that.
She looked at the fireplace across from where they were sitting. The wood inside was lit and was putting out a decent amount of warmth considering how cold the room was.
“So,” he said. He was holding a mug of coffee. On his middle finger was a huge, flat onyx ring. She couldn’t take her eyes off it. “I want to talk to you about Zac.”
Was that supposed to make her feel better? “Oh.”
“And Heidi.”
“Oh.”
He cleared his throat. He was an attractive man with the kindest eyes. “Heidi told me about Zac.”
Iris didn’t respond.
“And she told me about her.” He paused. “And you.”
She still didn’t respond. She didn’t know what to say.
“And you probably know this already, but Sandy is in love with her.”
“I figured,” she finally responded, but it came out as a whisper.
“She always has been.” He sipped his coffee, crossed his left leg over his right, and sighed deeply. “I want her to be happy, Iris. I want Zac to be happy.”
“I agree.”
“Sandy is safe.”
Her heart sank. “What?”
“She’s safe. Comfortable. And she’s Heidi’s best friend. Someone who isn’t going to hurt her. Ever.”
Iris looked away at the fire but focused on the crackling.
“You aren’t moving here; we both know that. But Heidi?” He let out another deep sigh. “She’s too new at this to realize what’s real and what’s fantasy.”
“And I’m the fantasy?”
“Yes.”
“Wow.” Iris huffed. “Wow.”
“I hope you understand.”
She stood abruptly. “Yep. I got it.”
“She didn’t ask me to talk to you,” he said after she stood. He was quickly next to her, his hand on her arm. “I just don’t want her to get hurt.”
“And I’m going to hurt her. I got it.” She looked at him. Glared at him, more like. “You’re right.” She turned and left him standing there, clutching his coffee mug for moral support.
Unfortunately, as she burst into the hallway, she was first on the scene to see the horror unfolding before her eyes.
Sandy was kissing Heidi.
Heidi’s hands in the air.
Nora’s tiny voice was asking questions.
All of it.
It was all a dream. It had to be. She backed herself against the wall in repulsion as the rest of the family ambled single-file into the cramped hallway.
Oscar scooped Nora up into his arms. “Nora, honey, what have we said about this? You shouldn’t say things that didn’t happen.” He looked at Heidi, then at Sandy, then at Iris, for whatever reason.
“What are you looking at me for?” Iris asked, her hands in the air. “I was with Stanley. And we clearly weren’t kissing.”
“What is happening?” Stanley asked, appearing behind her.
“Well, Nora here said she saw Sandy kissing Gramma.” Karen looked quizzically at Oscar. “We need to get her a bell or something, Oscar.” She sighed, her face softening when she looked at Heidi. “Heidi, is what Nora is saying true?”
“Yes, but it’s not what you think—”
“Sandy, that’s great news,” Stanley said, his voice covered with what seemed like fake elation. “Wow, how momentous!”
Iris couldn’t help herself as she rolled her eyes. “Are you kidding me?” she asked under her breath.
Zac, who was standing next to her, nudged her. “Shh,” he whispered.
“Wait, you all have the wrong idea.” Heidi pushed past Sandy into the hallway. “This is not what is happening. I am not in love with Sandy.”
“Wait,” Adrien said, his hand in the air to silence everyone. “Mom, are you a lesbian?”
“Yes, but that’s not the point.”
“What?” Zac’s voice cracked. “Are you joking, Ma? It quite literally is the point,” he said with a huff. “What the hell is going on?” His arms were folded across his chest now. Iris could smell it, the weird scent he gave off when he was uncomfortable. “Dad? Do you know what’s going on? Because this is fucked-up.”
“Yes, son, this is your mother’s attempt to make Christmas memorable.” Stanley chuckled, but no one else did. Least of all Iris.
“Stanley, stop,” Heidi said softly. “I did not want to do it like this. Especially not today. I did not want to steal Zac’s thunder.”
“What the hell?” Adrien’s head snapped toward Zac. “You came out? When the hell did this happen?”
“Oh my god,” Zac breathed out as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yes, everyone. I’m a homosexual. There. Are you all happy?” He spread his arms wide and motioned to Evan. “And I’m going to Italy with Evan.”
“You’re going to go to Italy?” Iris’s shock was all over her voice. “What are you talking about?”
“Not now,” Zac whispered. “Please, let’s discuss this later.”
Iris shook her head as she tried to find her bearings. “What the hell is happening?”
“Everyone,” Heidi said with authority. “Listen to me, please. I am a lesbian. I’ve been into women my entire life. I’m just coming out, though. Right now. On Christmas.” She sighed. “And I’m in love with Iris.”
The entire family gasped and pivoted to look at Iris, who suddenly felt as small as possible. She twisted her face and held up her hand to wave. “Hi,” she said softly.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Zac was, unsurprisingly, outraged. “What the fuck?”
“Can you watch your language around Nora, please?” Karen asked softly. “I know we’re all having a moment, but, y’know, she’s only six.”
“I’ve heard that word before, Mommy,” Nora whispered. Iris lost the fight against the small smile tugging at her lips. She covered her mouth as nonchalantly as possible.
“Iris, what is my mother talking about?” Zac was glaring at her now, which made hiding her smile even more necessary.
“Zac—”
He immediately cut her off. “No, don’t even start with some stupid line about how you didn’t mean for this to happen, that it was inevitable, that you tried to stop it. If that is at all what’s going to come out of your mouth, you might as well shut the hell up.”
“Don’t talk to her like that,” Heidi said as she moved quickly in front of Iris. She reached back and put her hand on Iris’s arm. “She doesn’t deserve that. Neither of us do.”
Zac’s mouth fell open. He looked around at the rest of the family, who didn’t seem nearly as crazed as he was. Except, of course, for Sandy, who didn’t look crazed, but certainly didn’t look happy. “I can’t believe this is happening.” He huffed. “You’re going to do this to me?” He was staring at Iris now. “You’re my best friend. She is my mom. Seriously?”
“Zac, that’s not fair.” Iris tried to take a step around Heidi, but she gripped her tighter. “Neither of us meant for this to happen. I know you don’t want to hear that, but it’s true.”
“I’ve heard enough.” He pointed at Iris. “You’re no longer welcome here. You need to leave. Now.”
Iris’s entire body felt like it’d been hit by a truck. “Zac, come on, please listen to me.”
“I never want to talk to you again, Iris Abbott.” He was glaring at her with so much anger in his eyes that she was scared. “You are the worst thing that has ever happened to me.”
“Zac,” she whispered as she held back her tears. “Don’t say that. You don’t mean that.”
“Yes, I do.” His hands were clenched into fists at his sides. Iris glanced at Evan, who was clearly beside himself. “Leave. Now.”
“You can’t tell her to leave. This is my house, Zachary.” Heidi sounded like she was about to cry.
“I’ll go,” Iris said softly as she squeezed Heidi’s hand. “It’s fine.” She maneuvered through the family, feeling at once bereft and boneless. There was no use fighting with Zac. Arguing would make everything worse and would lead to her breaking down, which would make it awful. She wouldn’t allow herself to break down in front of them. She wouldn’t give them the satisfaction.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Heidi was in the attic in a flash. “You can’t leave like this,” she said, breathless from both the stress and the climb.
Iris folded the last pair of pants on the bed and shoved them into her suitcase. “Heidi, I am not staying. We both knew this was going to happen.”
“So that’s it?”
“What are we supposed to do?” Iris shouted, arms spread wide. “You think me staying is a good idea? Come on.” She scoffed.
“Please do not leave like this.” Heidi had never begged anyone before, but she was ready to get on her hands and knees if it meant Iris wouldn’t leave.
Iris zipped her suitcase and set it on the floor. “Listen, we both knew this was how this was going to play out. We literally talked about it. Numerous times. This is our reality now. I knew it was too good to be true, and you have way too much to clean up with Sandy. Like, had I known all of that”—she waved her hand toward the stairs—“I would have never started this.”
“That’s where you draw the line, huh? Not me being your best friend’s mom, but me being in a weird situationship with my best friend? That seems pretty crappy.” Heidi was crying now—big, sloppy tears—and she hated herself for it. “You know this is real, right?” Her question had no effect on Iris, who tried to step around her without answering, but Heidi stopped her, hands on her arms, and said again, “Tell me this is real.”
“You’re the most real thing that has ever happened to me, Heidi.” Iris’s eyes had filled with tears. As she blinked, they started to roll down her cheeks.
“Don’t leave.”
“I can’t stay. I’m sorry.”
Before Heidi could get a word out through her tears, Iris was gone.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
“Fuck him,” Iris said as she pulled away from the house in the rental SUV. “Fuck him. If he needs a car, he can fucking drive Evan’s.” She wanted to speed, to rush to the airport, but the roads were awful. “How is it still fucking snowing?” Even her getaway was thwarted.
She frantically wiped at her eyes so she could focus on the road. Her tears and the icy windshield were making it difficult. When her phone started to ring, she hit the ‘Disconnect’ button on the steering wheel. She didn’t even care who was calling. She did not need to talk to anyone right now.
The phone started to ring again.
Decline.
And again.
Decline.
And again.
Decline.
And again.
This time, she looked at the screen and saw that it was Zac. How dare he try to call her! What was he going to do? Yell at her some more?
Decline.
It rang again; an unknown number. She wasn’t stupid. It was one of them, one of the Nowaks. No way in hell was she answering it.
Decline.
Of all the times she had ever wanted to turn her phone off, of course this was the one time she couldn’t. She needed the goddamn map to get to O’Hare.
The phone rang again.
“Motherfucker!” she shouted at the top of her lungs. How did everything get so out of control so quickly? One minute, she and Heidi were going to move forward. They were going to be happy and in love, and it was going to feel like finally finding home. And the next?
She started to laugh. Hysterically. She laughed until the laughter turned into even more tears, and then she was sobbing uncontrollably. She was crying so hard that she had to pull over. She put the vehicle in park and hit the hazard lights. The tears were unstoppable now. She was crying so hard she could barely catch her breath.
Meeting the woman of her dreams had turned out to be the worst thing that had ever happened to her. She leaned her head onto the steering wheel as she continued to bawl.
Suddenly, she heard a horrible rumbling sound, tires squealing, and before she knew it, there was nothing but black.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
“So you were canoodling Zac’s girlfriend?” Karen asked softly, after she slid into the seat next to Heidi at the breakfast nook. Heidi glared at her. “I’m kidding, Heidi. It’s just a joke. Too soon?”
“Karen, for Christ’s sake,” Heidi said with a laugh as she shook her head. “Maybe a little too soon.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “What do you need from us?”
Heidi shrugged. Her heart had been ripped out of her chest. At this point, she didn’t give a flying fuck about celebrating the rest of Christmas. All she wanted to do was go upstairs and cry herself to sleep.
“Can I say something?”
Heidi nodded.
“He overreacted.” Karen placed her hand on Heidi’s clenched fist. “Sure, it’s a little unorthodox, but you’re both consenting adults. Why is it such a problem?”
“I have no idea.” She relaxed her hand under Karen’s. “He doesn’t think he overreacted. She’s his best friend. I’m his mom. We knew it was going to cause a war.”
“Then why—”
“Did we do it?”
“Yeah.”
Heidi sighed as the memory of Iris rushing back into the café, grabbing her hand, and pulling her into the bathroom filled her soul. “It was inescapable,” she whispered.
“That’s romantic,” Karen said quietly.
“Yeah, well, we see how far romantic gets you. What am I supposed to do now?”
“First of all,” Karen said as she patted Heidi’s hand, “you probably need to take care of the situation with Sandy. She looked a little shell-shocked.”
“Fuck,” she whispered. Her shoulders slumped forward. “She’s the last person I want to speak to.”
“Understandable.” Karen chuckled. “But I think it’s an important step.”
“You’re right.” Heidi looked at Karen. “Merry Christmas, right?”
“Before you go, can I ask why didn’t you tell us sooner? If you’ve known for so long? You know none of us would have thought any less of you.”
Heidi searched her daughter-in-law’s face for an answer even though she already knew the reason. “Would you think less of me if I said it was fear? That’s it, plain and simple.”
“Oh.” Karen’s face softened. “It makes me sad that you were afraid of us. I love you, Heidi. You’ve been a mom to me since the first Christmas Oscar brought me here. There is not much you could do that would make me think less of you, which includes being honest with us, the people who love you no matter what.” She squeezed Heidi’s hands. “Do you hear me?”
She nodded.
“Now, go take care of your shit. I’ll get dinner started.”
