My Happy Ending Part 1, page 11
One glance at my watch told me I had about, oh... one minute to accomplish this. That was providing she buzzed us in right away and the elevator had magically picked up speed.
Wasn’t it just my luck that neither happened?
First, Talia wasn’t answering the buzzer at all, but luckily one of her neighbors recognized us, or at least the children, and let me take them in. Then, as said neighbor proceeded to talk my ear off, the elevator moved excruciatingly slow only to stop on floor six, where it took its sweet time grinding to a halt. The chatterbox then apologized for having to exit the elevator, and I might have said something in return had Elizabeth not told her that Mommy was waiting for us and we had to go.
I didn’t even bother correcting her snarky tone.
“The ladies really like you, don’t they?” Michael asked with the most serious look on his face, and I had to laugh, which Emily (who had quickly become my parrot after the Great Spaghetti Incident) mimicked from her perch on my arm.
“If they do,” I replied as the elevator finally stopped on floor ten, “I have no idea why.”
Michael and Elizabeth continued to chatter as we walked down that hall towards the condo, and I never dreamed I had to bang on the door to get Talia to answer it. What the hell? My anger was close to spilling over when I heard a frantic “Just a sec!” before the rattling of the doorknob, and finally...
“Mommy!” Michael exclaimed as he ran in. “You gots sleep!”
Talia was pulling up her hair in a messy bun as our two oldest flew past, chattering about whatever movie it was that they’d brought back and how they were going to watch it. Damn it, she was in those yoga pants... those sassy pants of hers that hugged her hips, accentuating her ass as she bent over to pick up their bags they’d merely tossed on the ground.
Wasn’t I supposed to say something to her?
Oh... just a camisole on underneath that little jacket that she’d just thrown on. I resisted the urge to reach out and fix where the hood in the back was half tucked in and...
“What?” she asked.
“Excuse me?”
“You’re staring.” Her expression was set in a light scowl. “I’m sorry I didn’t get the buzzer, or... um... the door right away... What?”
I felt the corners of my mouth lift up in a smile.
“I’ll see you,” was all I could say.
“Wait just one minute,” she called after me, and I turned back towards her.
“What?” I asked innocently.
Only when she held her hands out did I realize Emily was still on my arm. Em shifted slightly and leaned towards Talia, who gathered her up close. I grinned sheepishly as Talia shot me a glare, my stomach taking a dive when her gaze softened.
She looked so sad...
My phone began ringing, its tone indicating it was Chris, who was probably in a panic. “I have to go,” I said softly.
“Okay.” The word sounded almost like it was stuck in her throat, and my heart constricted just a tiny bit.
I wanted to stay right there, in her presence... I wanted to pull her into my arms, if she’d only let me, and kiss away all the hurt I’d caused. I wanted to beg for forgiveness, and I wanted her to say yes... yes, she forgave me, and that while it wasn’t okay we’d get past it, and we’d give us a shot, our family a shot.
“Jase...”
“I’m ... staring, I know,” I stammered, my face getting hot under her gaze. I looked down at my shoes, so dark against the light tan carpeting, and shrugged slightly. “Wednesday...”
Wednesday, that was my next day to see the kids, and I just... I wanted to see her, I wanted her to come with us, and I wanted so badly to ask, and...
And my stupid fucking phone rang again.
“Yeah, um... “
“You have to go, I know,” she said softly, and I stole one more glance up at her face. So beautiful, but so stricken...
“I’ll see you Wednesday?” Why did I make it sound like a question? Fuck! What was my problem?
“Sure,” she replied.
I hadn’t realized I was holding my breath until that moment, when I felt it leave my body. I stood there for one more moment before I smiled slightly and walked out the door.
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SHE’S on my flight?” I demanded. I had parked my car at the airport and was walking towards the terminal, my bag over my shoulder and my phone up to my ear.
“You were supposed to be at the airport over an hour ago, we had to scramble to change your flight,” Chris said, his tone showing his annoyance. “You’re lucky we could get you on this flight.”
“So I’m stuck in the air on a non-stop flight from L.A. to New York with Bree. That’s just...”
“Are you out in public?”
“You think I fucking care who hears me?” I asked angrily.
“I’m sure you won’t be seated together,” he continued, ignoring my question. “However, you both are in first class.”
“Great,” I muttered.
“Just keep it professional, and if she is anywhere near you tell her it may be best for everyone involved if one of you changes seats.”
Well, in a perfect world I wouldn’t have to worry about that. But this is L.A, and this world is far from perfect. So instead of being seated far away from her in a rather deserted first-class section, she exchanged her seat with the person who was originally next to me so that he could sit next to his new bride on their way to their honeymoon destination. Just once I wish I could bring myself to be an asshole and say no.
Not that it was my call.
But when Bree flashed that smile at them and said, “Oh, I’m sure Jase won’t mind, will you, Jase?” what was I supposed to do? So the new Mr. and Mrs. Whatever were happily seated together on the other side of the cabin, and Bree was sliding into the seat next to me.
“You haven’t called,” she pouted.
“I’ve been busy.”
“You were never too busy for me before, Jase.” She leaned towards me and the faint scent of cigarette smoke lingered around her. “Why are you avoiding me?”
I sighed heavily, looking over at her face, somehow unaffected by the tears swimming in her china blue eyes. Perhaps it was because I knew how easily she could make herself cry; she’d shown me on more than one occasion, bragging about how she used it to get her way. “I’m ...” I stopped myself from lying that I hadn’t been avoiding her, and instead stuck with the truth. “I’m trying to do the right thing.”
“It’s a bit late to think about right and wrong, don’t you think?” she asked quickly, settling back into her seat.
“Thanks for the reminder,” I mumbled, reaching in my pocket for my iPod.
“What, you don’t want to talk with me?” she asked incredulously.
I sighed as I looked back over at her. “You know, Bree,” I said in an exasperated tone, “if this was... a couple months ago, if... if I hadn’t screwed up so royally, if we were really friends in the way we should have been, then I wouldn’t mind it at all.” I kept my voice low, leaning in to try and keep others out of our conversation. “But you and I both know that it went too far,”
“And you’re making me out to be the villain,” she cut me off. “And just for the record, we are friends, or at least I thought we were. Or do you need reminded that I am the one who has been there for you for most of this past year when your wife was too preoccupied?”
I closed my eyes briefly, refusing to answer as I sat back in my seat. My jaw was clenched rather tightly as I looked forward at a spot on the wall in the front as if it were the most interesting thing in this world.
“Jase,” she said softly, reaching out and placing her hand over mine, “I still want us to be friends. You need someone on your side through this, you know. You don’t have to be alone.”
I tried pulling my hand away, but she wrapped her fingers around and squeezed a little tighter.
“The damage is done,” she continued, leaning over and placing her head on my shoulder. “The media... everyone is tearing us both apart, and everyone’s being so cruel. To both of us, you know? Have you been reading it?”
“No,” I said, then quickly added, “Bree, sit up.”
“I do love you,” she said softly, turning her face and leaving a kiss on my cheek before she sat back. “I’d do anything for you. Can you say the same for Talia?”
Once upon a time I could...
“You don’t have to be sad or lonely anymore.”
I closed my eyes, Talia’s face filling my mind... her hair framing her beautiful face as she hovered over me, her hands caressing my face as she leaned in, brushing her lips across mine. So soft... so sweet... so full of love...
“Sir.”
I jumped as the flight attendant woke me. Damn, I hadn’t realized how tired I was. She was instructing me and the still-groggy Bree, who was tucked up under my arm, that we needed to sit up because the plane was getting ready to land. I quickly removed my arm from around Bree’s shoulder, glancing at her warily.
“You don’t need to look at me that way,” she said haughtily as she flipped out her compact, checking her makeup and hair. “You’re the one who pulled me up against you.”
“I shouldn’t have,” I replied. “And I’m sorry.”
She narrowed her eyes as she looked at me. “You know, Chris had me under the impression you wanted to speak with me, but he apparently lied.”
“He didn’t.” I took a deep breath. “But this is hardly the...”
“Well, since you’re bound to avoid me like the plague until the show, now is a good a time as any.”
“I just wanted to ask you to not say anything.” I kept my gaze steady as she shot me a nasty glare.
“So I’m not supposed to defend myself?”
“All you need to say is... ‘no comment’ or... or tell her you don’t talk about speculation or rumors, or... damn it, Bree, don’t look at me that way. Don’t do this.”
“Tell me, Jase, why? Why is it that you don’t want me to tell them the truth?”
“Sure, by all means—tell them we didn’t sleep together. That is the truth,” I reminded her.
“We would have.”
“No, Bree, we wouldn’t have. Or do you need me to refresh your memory about how I’d said no?”
Perhaps that was the wrong thing to say, with the anger that flashed straight at me from her cold eyes. But less than a moment later, she rolled those eyes and muttered, “Sure, Jase. Whatever you want.”
“Bree,”
“I said I wouldn’t say anything, and I won’t,” she snapped, wiping one of those bullshit tears away.
I breathed a sigh of relief, allowing myself to smile for the first time since I’d talked to Chris at the airport. “Thank you, Bree.”
“Don’t mention it.”
So with that out of the way, I took the rest of the evening to sit alone in my hotel room and stare at a blank piece of paper, unable to write a thing, and wonder what next step I should take to win my family back.
CHAPTER 9
TALLI
I AM SO EMBARRASSED. I swear I don’t just sleep through anything, and yet I slept through eight missed calls, the buzzer, and almost through the pounding on the door
“Hey, Mommy, d’you want to see the dress he bought Em?” Elizabeth asked excitedly.
“In a minute, honey,” I replied, still preoccupied.
How am I supposed to explain this to him?
“Mommy, Daddy couldn’t... he couldn’t find Em’s puppy,” Michael added as he ran into the room, still full of so much energy. “Is that what you’re looking for?”
“No, baby, it’s not,” I said, still sifting through my remaining boxes.
I’ve already failed as a wife, I’m failing as a friend... am I failing as a mother, too? How am I supposed to take care of them if I can’t hear that annoying buzzer?
“And Em didn’t want outta the bath, either!” Elizabeth exclaimed.
“And Daddy gave...he gave her another bath today,” Michael added. “What are you doing, Mommy?”
No... no, it was just a fluke, me sleeping through that buzzer. That’s what it was.
Emily whined, her little bottom lip sticking out as she toddled into the living room.
“You miss your puppy?” Michael asked.
“Don’t mention it to her, dummy!” Elizabeth snapped, and Emily instantly began to cry.
And... and Jase had just stared at me. He must think I’m some kind of... well, unfit something. But Emily seemed content enough in his arms.
Color me jealous.
“You can have one of Sis’s toys,” Michael offered as I continued sifting through the next to the last box.
No, I’m not jealous. And I’m not angry that Emily warmed up to him. I’m actually rather pleased, relieved even. It meant the world knowing that the children were happy. That was all I could ask for, at least now, and...
“You can’t just give my toys away!” Elizabeth said forcefully
“You do it to mine!” Michael yelled back.
“Kids, stop, please!” I said, finally turning away from the box, its contents scattered.
“I want my Daddy!” Elizabeth screamed at the top of her lungs before stomping out of the room, slamming her bedroom door firmly behind her.
So do I...
Oh, fuck.
What am I doing?
I... I am having papers served to him... papers that end our marriage. Papers that essentially say that I don’t love him anymore, and that’s just not true.
“Dase,” Em squeaked.
And... and those papers, they say that I don’t trust him with our children, and I do. I really do. He’s so good with them, so patient,
And... and...
“It’s Daddy, silly,” Michael laughed at her, taking her chubby hand in his and leading her to his bedroom. “I gots boy toys, but you can have one if you want, okay?”
“Dase,” she replied.
Oh, the look on his face when he was here earlier... okay, maybe I’m reading too much into it, but... but... what if he still loves me?
No, I don’t think he does.
But maybe, somehow... maybe he could love me again someday. Or... or maybe if he can’t, he could just tell me what I did wrong, why he doesn’t love me anymore.
But that smile...
Did I jump the gun?
Maybe I should call the lawyer’s office in the morning and ask them to wait, just until I talk to him on Wednesday. And I will talk to him.
I must be insane.
But love does make you crazy.
So crazy, in fact, that I seem to have misplaced an entire box. And not just any box—this had my certificates from school, the kids’ baby books, and the paperwork... the paperwork for the star, for our Angel.
It was like losing our baby all over again.
“Mommy, I don’t wanna go to daycare tomorrow,” Elizabeth announced, opening her bedroom door.
“But you have to.”
“I wanted to stay at Daddy’s, but Daddy said he had somewhere to go, and besides... I said you’d be too mean to let me.”
“Thank you, Baby Girl,” I muttered. “I love you, too.”
“Daddy said you weren’t mean, though.”
I stopped in my tracks, my eyelids sliding shut at her words.
“Mommy, if you and Daddy say nice things about each other, why can’t you say nice things to each other?”
I glanced over at our oldest daughter, her face so solemn as she looked up at me, and sighed. “I don’t know, Baby Girl. I just don’t know.”
I HAVE NEVER BEEN A fan of Monday mornings, but this particular one saw me waking up with the worst case of anxiety I had felt in ages. It was going to be one of those days, one of the days where I wanted to stay curled up in bed and let the world go on about its axis, forgetting for one day that I existed.
Emily’s morning screech when the alarm wasn’t shut off before waking her reminded me I didn’t have that luxury.
“I’m getting, I’m getting,” I mumbled. I picked her up on my way over to the dresser where the alarm was singing some old 80s tune. What the fuck was... oh, right.
Hands to Heaven.
Same damn song that I watched Jase and Kaitlyn dance to.
Okay, so that something completely unfounded, but the song still brought the worst feelings back to the forefront. So it wasn’t Kaitlyn, and our relationship wasn’t new... but...
Why the hell was my phone ringing at five a.m?
“No, no,” Emily said plain as day, pushing the phone away as I picked it up.
“You’re such a comedian,” I mumbled to her before answering. “Hello?”
“Talli?”
“No, it’s Esmeralda of the Dumas family.” I said with a roll of my eyes. “What’s up, Jaden?”
“Well, um... you.”
“No stalling,” I said, cradling the receiver as I opened the bedroom door the rest of the way and walking out towards the kitchen.
“Just... can you promise me you won’t look at the internet this morning?”
I sighed, letting Emily down to walk over to the refrigerator where she stood and hit the door repeatedly. “Ah, what have they dug up this time?” I asked with a laugh, then before she could answer I added, “You know what? Don’t tell me. I... I don’t think I could deal with the internet today.”
“Good,” she replied with a sigh. “I mean, not good that you can’t deal, but good that I don’t have to argue with you.”
“Oh, that’s nice.”
“Well, I love you, Talli, but let’s face it— you’re not the easiest person in this world to reason with.”
“Thanks, I love you, too,” I said as I pulled down a clean sippy cup for Emily, filling it with milk and handing it to her so she’d be appeased while I got her something to eat.
“Just... can you promise me?”
“I can promise you that I’ll try,” I answered.
“I suppose I’ll just have to live with that.”
“Hey, Jaden... did you happen to see this... box?”
“I saw lots of boxes out there,” she replied. “Let me guess, your eyebrow is up and you’re glaring.”
