Maybe It's Fate, page 28
“Both of us, at least that’s what I’m hoping.”
“Go on.”
“I’m thinking, once the adoption is final, what about you and the kids moving in with me . . .”
My mouth dropped open, and he held his hand up. “Temporarily. This would give us an empty house to do the necessary remodeling. As it is now, if you want to do something, you’ll have to live around construction. With everyone out of the house, we can get it all done at once.”
While I liked the idea, it wasn’t going to be cost-effective. I shook my head lightly. “I’d have to take out a loan, and with two mortgages, I’m not sure the bank would approve. The life insurance the kids received from Miri went into a trust for them, and with the adoption, they won’t receive social security benefits. No bank would look at my expenses and hand me a loan right now.”
“I would.”
I laughed. “When did the Bank of Weston open up?”
“The day I rebuilt this porch,” he said.
“I can’t take your money. Teachers don’t make a lot.”
This time Weston howled with laughter. “You still haven’t looked me up, have you?”
I shrugged. “A little. Nothing in depth. I think I stopped when it said you were married, but I only looked then after my dad mentioned it. I was preoccupied.” I gave him a little poke in his stomach.
“I was very smart with my money during my career, Antonia. I don’t need to work but do so because I enjoy coaching. I don’t have a problem fronting the money for the house.”
“With interest?”
He shook his head, and I raised an eyebrow at him. Weston sighed. “I was thinking more like I move in if all goes well with us living together at my house.”
“You? Move in here? With us?”
He nodded the entire time I asked my three-part question.
“That’s if you’re ready. I know I am.” He took my hand. “After being with you and the kids all day, going home to an empty house really sucks, Antonia. I lie awake at night, staring at the ceiling, wondering how long I’ll have to wait to ask the three of you to move in with me. Living here, in the home Miriam loved so much, makes sense, but I also know you may not be ready, so I could be putting my cart before the horse, so to speak.
“Antonia, I’m not asking you to move in with me because Scout prefers to be here. I’m asking because I love you. I love Cutter and Nova. You’re my family.”
As if on cue, Nova squealed in delight as she ran around the yard with Scout. She jumped and moved her net in the air. He’d brought her this little bit of happiness, but it wasn’t just this gift. He’d brought Scout into our lives, and he put the kids first every time we planned a night out. Weston never had an issue spending our time with the kids. He wasn’t going to be the one to tell me they had to go to boarding school, or that I had to choose between him and them.
Weston knew we were a package deal, and he was the bow to make us complete.
“I know it’s fast, and I know you’re scared—”
“It’s not that, Weston. I worry about the impact something like this would have on the kids. What if this doesn’t work out?”
“What if it does and we live happily ever after, raising these two amazing kids?”
I looked at Nova and Scout, best friends already, and then I glanced around the yard and house Miri loved so much . . . love. My eyes shot to Weston’s.
“Did you say that you loved me?”
He nodded emphatically. “I believe my words were, ‘I love you.’”
I smiled, having heard him the first time, but wanting him to say it again so I could absorb the words in this moment. I shook my head, pretending to be confused. “What?”
“Oh, was I not clear?” He paused. “I. Love. You.” He enunciated each word.
“That’s perfect because I love you too,” I said, repeating his words back to him. “Let me talk to them, but I’m definitely a yes on the whole cohabiting thing.”
Weston stood and pulled me into his arms. He pressed his lips to mine, and before the kiss could go any deeper, we heard, “Ooh, someone is kissing!”
Thanks, Nova.
Chapter 35
Cutter
Not a day went by when I didn’t think about my mom. I missed everything about her, but mostly her presence. Knowing she would always be where she said she would, and now wasn’t, was a hard notion to swallow. The ache in my chest was uncomfortable most days, and I’d found that when I didn’t think about her, the pain grew.
But thinking about her hurt as well. I was grateful for the text messages and voicemails I’d saved, and for the years of photos and videos Toni had of my mom. She never hesitated to hand her phone to Nova whenever she asked. As much as it broke my heart each time I pressed play—hearing my mom’s voice, seeing her happy and healthy instead of sick—knowing that I could hear her tell me she loved me or simply say my name . . . was everything.
My mom was missing milestones in my life, or, as Toni called them, “rites of passage.” There was the state championship and now prom. There would be more, like my upcoming college visit. A coach had invited us to campus for a tour and lunch and to see their baseball facility.
Same for Nova. Mom missed Nova earning a badge for selling a lot of Girl Scout cookies, and Nova was going to a horse camp this summer to learn how to ride. Toni was worried, but Weston assured her the camp was safe and highly recommended.
Weston was the other part of our lives my mom was missing. He’d always been my coach, at least since high school, and now he was really part of our lives because he and Toni were dating. I thought I’d miss Brendan, but I didn’t. It took me seeing Toni smile at Coach that I knew they were meant for each other. I knew my aunt missed my mom—we all did—but Coach made her days easy. Weston was by far the better choice for Toni and for us. He never acted like he was better than us, and I saw the way he looked at Toni. Sort of like the way I looked at Eleni. Toni said I had stars in my eyes.
Plus, I liked having him around. Ever since my mom got sick, Coach had been someone I could count on, and now he was always there. I’d never had a father figure live with me before, and while it was an adjustment, Coach fit in our family.
One thing my mom wasn’t missing were her parents. I decided, for myself and Nova, that we wouldn’t pursue a relationship with them, unless ordered by the courts. Even then, Toni said she’d fight a court order with everything she had.
Toni was also going to be our mom—well, officially, on paper. I didn’t really care for the “guardian” title because she was so much more than a guardian. She was our mom, aunt, and friend rolled into a fiery, loving, supportive person.
She was our person.
The court-appointed guardian told me and Nova we’d lose the social security benefits if Toni adopted us. We didn’t care about money. If we couldn’t have our mom, we wanted Toni.
Tonight, Eleni and I were going to prom. Toni and Samira had helped me with my promposal. Samira made me chocolate-covered strawberries and wrote “PROM” on them. Toni and I made a sign that said I Would Be Berry Lucky if You Went to Prom with Me. She said it was important to add “Yes” and “No” checkboxes, which I did in strawberry stickers, since they were Eleni’s favorite fruit.
Even though we’d been dating for a while, I was nervous about asking her. What if she said no? Or didn’t like the way I’d asked? What if her parents told her she couldn’t go? I wasn’t sure her parents even liked me; I thought they only tolerated me because it was easier than fighting with their daughter about our relationship.
My fears were eased when Eleni said yes before I could even utter the words.
Weston took me to rent my tux. We drove to Manchester, where most of the chain retailers were. He said it would be easier because the selection would be better. Eleni’s dress was hot pink or electric pink, and she had provided a swatch—whatever that was—so everything could match.
I wanted to rent a limo, but being a two-sport athlete hadn’t left me much time to work. Thankfully, Toni said she would pay for it and encouraged me to ask my friends if they wanted to pitch in. At first, I didn’t want to because being alone with Eleni was a priority, but I relented and asked Flinn and Malik if they wanted to share the cost. Flinn asked a girl from a couple of towns over to go with him, and Malik planned to bring Janelle, but she didn’t want to go to prom. He was going stag. I didn’t think that was fair to him, especially since he and Janelle were no longer a couple. She’d broken things off after word spread that she was pregnant. Malik was confused and hurt but wasn’t going to pressure her into anything. He’d been working every chance he could so he could help Janelle with the baby. I was surprised he still wanted to go to prom or be the fifth wheel in the limo. Eleni said Malik might want to ride in the limo for the experience.
Toni was cooking dinner for my friends. We were having roasted chicken and potatoes with a cream sauce, steamed broccoli, and a dinner salad. For dessert, Samira had made these massive cupcakes. They’d arrived earlier in the day and taunted me every time I went into the kitchen to bug Toni.
She slapped my hand when I tried to taste the cream sauce. I couldn’t help it. Everything smelled so good, and even though she hated cooking, Toni could cook, now that she’d practiced almost every night. She’d already started teaching me and Nova how to make things from scratch.
Living with Toni was a lot different from my mom. Sometimes they were the same, but they parented differently. Granted, Toni was flying by the seat of her pants. According to her, she had a good support system in place, and since coming to Grove Hill, she’d made friends with Samira, Vera, and Edith. They even kept up their “book club” nights.
Nova and I had the same chores as before, and we had rules. Some were new, like I had to tell Toni where I was at all times. She worried, especially when she was in Boston for work and wouldn’t be home until late. Homework had to be done as soon as I got home from school, and we weren’t allowed to use the word “fine” when asked how we were doing or how school was. This was something she’d learned from our therapist.
“Everything ready for tonight?” she asked as she gently nudged me away from the stove. “Tux is hanging up?”
“Yep.” I went to the cupboard and took out one of the many water tumblers we had. That was another thing that had changed. Toni didn’t trust the water in the well since my mom had gotten so sick. We were having a water filtration system put in and had one of those water jug things in the corner. She used the water dispenser for drinking and cooking.
The other thing that had changed was we were moving into Weston’s temporarily while the house was being remodeled. We needed new electrical wiring, a roof, and subflooring, and a couple of the walls needed to be replaced due to aging plaster or something. Weston was paying for all of this, and since Nova and I owned the house, we didn’t have to pay him back until we’d sold.
If we ever sold.
Weston was moving in with us once the remodel was done as well, and I didn’t mind. I liked the idea of having a man around, not only to help me but to protect Nova and Toni.
Once my tumbler was filled, I secured the lid and went to the refrigerator. I wasn’t hungry but bored. I sighed as I stood there.
“What are you looking for?”
“Nothing. Everything,” I said as Toni laughed. “Why are there flowers in here?”
“Those are from Vera. She did Eleni’s corsage.”
I took the clear plastic container out and studied it. There were three roses. Two were white and one bright pink, with pink ribbon wrapped around it, making a bow.
“This is pretty.”
“Do you think Eleni will like it?” Toni asked as she moved around the kitchen. I thought about sneaking a taste of the cream sauce but figured prom was far more important, and I didn’t want to get into trouble.
“Yeah, she will.” I put it back and reached for the pack of cheese slices, taking a few out and then closing the door. Toni’s back was to me as she stared out the kitchen window. We were getting a new fence as well, some chickens, and maybe a dog. We had Scout, but he spent most of his time with Nova, and with my summer sports schedule, Toni wasn’t sure if we should get one now or wait.
“Are you okay?”
She nodded. “Yeah, just thinking.” Toni turned and wiped at her cheeks. She cried a lot, but I tried not to let her know I saw. It was hard for me to understand the connection she’d had with my mom. Like she was my mom, but she and Toni had been friends their entire lives, and now Toni didn’t have anyone but us.
“I miss her too,” I said.
“I know you do. I do as well.”
I went to Toni and gave her a hug. I knew she liked these and needed them a lot.
The doorbell rang, and Nova yelled from the other room that she was going to get it. I followed her down the hall and smiled brightly when Eleni and her parents stood on the other side.
I welcomed them in, showed Eleni to Toni’s room (where she would get dressed later), and then went to sit with her and her parents in the living room. I was thankful Weston was there to talk to her parents because they didn’t say much to me.
Malik and his dad were next to arrive, then my grandparents, followed by Flinn, his date, and both sets of parents.
Our house hadn’t been this full since my mom’s funeral. That day had been somber, while tonight was a bit happier.
Toni and my grandma brought out trays of appetizers for everyone to snack on before dinner. Weston and my grandpa set up tables in the backyard under the strings of white lights Toni had put up, and I helped carry things out.
“If you’d all join us outside,” Toni said shortly after everyone arrived. She led everyone outside and stood off to the side. I could tell she was still hurting from whatever memory had resurfaced earlier. I stood next to her, with my arm around her shoulders.
“Oh, this is magical,” Eleni said. Everyone agreed.
“Thank you,” I said quietly to her. “For making this special.”
She nodded. “I wanted your mom to be a part of it too.”
It hadn’t occurred to me that that was why Toni had wanted to have everyone over to our house for dinner, but now it all made sense. Here, in the home my mom had loved so much, she’d be able to see everyone come together for prom.
After dinner, and after everyone had praised Toni on the delicious meal she’d made for everyone, I took my friends upstairs to get ready, while Eleni and Flinn’s date, Wendy, got dressed in Toni’s room. The girls had already had their hair done, and we were told they only needed to touch up their makeup. I thought Eleni looked perfect the way she was, but what did I know?
Malik, Flinn, and I came down first, dressed in our tuxes. One look at Toni, and I knew she was about to cry. She leaned into Weston and waved her hand in front of her eyes. I went to her.
“Do I look okay?”
She nodded and looked at me with watery eyes. “You look very handsome.” Toni fiddled with my bow tie and then ran her hands down the lapels of my jacket.
The girls made their grand entrance, and I found myself breathless. Eleni looked gorgeous in her fitted gown. It had a low-cut V that accentuated her breasts. My mouth watered. We were getting so close to going all the way; we just needed privacy.
Toni reminded me about the flowers in the kitchen. I went in, with Malik and Flinn following.
“Damn, boy, no wonder you wanted the limo all to yourself,” Malik said as he shook his head.
“I know.” I sighed as the thought of Eleni grinding on my hand with her shirt off flashed in my mind. “I’m not sure how much longer I can hold out.”
“Wendy and I aren’t even dating, and we’re doing it,” Flinn added.
“Lucky. We get to touch each other and shit, but nothing more. Her parents are always home if I’m there, and same here. I’m so mad I didn’t get my license when I turned sixteen. If I had, I’d be able to drive her places now.”
“Whatever you do, use a condom.” Malik shook his head.
I reached into my pocket, pulled one out, and shrugged. “Just in case.”
“Of what?”
I jumped at the sound of Toni’s voice and slipped my hand back into my pocket. My heart raced, faster than ever. How much had she heard?
She looked at me and then my friends. “Boys, can you excuse us for a moment?” Toni motioned for me to follow her outside.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Toni walked toward the back of the yard, which I was grateful for because I didn’t want Eleni’s parents to hear us.
“Was that a condom?”
I nodded, knowing there was no point in hiding it.
“Jesus,” she muttered as she pinched the bridge of her nose. “Do you know how to use it?”
The question caught me off guard and took a minute for me to answer. I slowly shook my head.
“Jesus,” she said again. “Do you have another one?”
I nodded, reached into my pocket, and set it in her outstretched hand.
“You know your mom had you when she was a teen, and she wouldn’t want this for you. I can’t tell you not to have sex, although I wish you’d wait. I’d rather have you prepared.” She ripped open the packaging and held it out for me to see.
“Do you see this edge?” She continued after I’d nodded and explained how this was the right way to put it on. She gave me a demonstration using her hand and arm, all while muttering “Jesus” every five seconds. She showed me how far one could stretch, which, honestly, I had no idea. Toni took it off and stuffed it into her back pocket, along with the wrapper.
“There is never an excuse not to wear one,” she said.
“Do you use them?” I don’t know why I asked such a personal question.
“Yes, I do,” she said pointedly. “Sex changes things between people, Cutter. It’s emotional and healthy, but it can be damaging. You respect everything Eleni says about how she’s feeling, and when she says ‘No,’ ‘Stop,’ ‘We can’t,’ or whatever else, you freaking stop. Do you hear me? You don’t coerce her. You don’t tell her it’s going to make her feel good. Nothing. You get up and walk away.”
