Maybe It's Fate, page 14
I would need his help in telling the kids they’d be moving before school started in the fall. That wasn’t going to be an easy or comfortable conversation, and I expected Cutter to object, and rightly so. Maybe this was the time for Brendan and me to buy a house and take our relationship to the next step. We’d raise the kids together and finally give Cutter and Nova the father figure they’d missed out on.
No one ever wanted to switch high schools in the middle of their four years. Lord knew I wouldn’t have wanted to if something had happened to my parents.
At the final buzzer, the teammates hugged and then shook hands with the other team.
“How come they don’t storm the court like I’ve seen on TV?” I asked Brendan.
“That’s mostly college and usually when the school has beaten their rival, a highly ranked team, or they’ve won a championship.”
I nodded in understanding.
“That reminds me,” Miri said as she touched my arm. “The basketball championship will be the first weekend of March.”
I pulled my phone out and grimaced when I saw that Brendan and I were supposed to be in Aruba. I added the dates and put my phone away.
“We’re in Aruba that weekend,” he said without missing a beat.
“We’ll have to postpone,” I said under my breath. This wasn’t the place to have this conversation, especially with Miri sitting in front of us. The last thing she needed was for her impending death or her children to feel like a burden on me. They weren’t. I didn’t care if I had a wedding date booked; I’d cancel it at this point.
Brendan stood and walked down the bleachers until he was on the court. I watched him throw our garbage away and focus his attention on Nova. I was willing to bet that if he had his car there, he would’ve left.
“I can find someone else,” Miri said quietly. “If taking the kids is too much.”
I blanched at her words and mentally cursed Brendan out for having the gall to bring up that trip in front of her.
“Miri, I may have been seventeen when I made that promise, but I meant it wholeheartedly. Your babies are my babies, and it’d be a cold day in hell before I allowed anyone to raise them but me.” I pushed her hair behind her ear and smiled.
“Ignore Brendan. He doesn’t understand our friendship because he doesn’t have one like ours. He wasn’t there from the beginning of us or even Cutter. He’s new to this and doesn’t have anyone he’d drop everything for.”
“Not even you?”
Sadly, I shook my head. “Sometimes I wonder, but he means well, and we’ll figure it out. Never know, maybe the kids will have a much-needed vacation.”
She smiled at that, and so did I. The kids would need some peace after all of this, and Aruba sounded amazing for them. I ran my fingers through her hair and prayed she wouldn’t lose it all before the end.
“Cutter!” Nova yelled her brother’s name as he came out of the locker room. She launched herself into his arms, and he carried her to the rim so she could hang from it.
“He’s a good brother,” I said to Miri as we sat there.
“He’s the best son a mother could ask for.”
“On Monday, we need to sit down and finalize some things. Okay?”
Miri nodded but never took her eyes off her kids. Couldn’t say I blamed her; they were pretty fantastic.
We finally stood and met Cutter on the court. He immediately went to his mom and hugged her. I took my phone out and videoed the moment. He’d want it later.
And so would I.
Weston came out of the locker room. I smiled and expected him to come toward us, since I had invited him over for dinner. When he didn’t, I called out his name and walked toward him.
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t see you. What’s up?”
“Uh . . .” I glanced over my shoulder at our group and frowned before turning back to him. “I wanted to remind you about dinner.”
“Dinner?”
I nodded slowly. “This morning, I invited you to dinner with us.” And then I remembered I hadn’t, but maybe I’d thought about it. “Actually, it wasn’t dinner, but you were going to come over and fill me in on the travel stuff. I think we’re getting sandwiches. What can I get you?”
Weston looked off into the distance and then at me. “Maybe some other time.” He turned away before I could form any type of rebuttal.
I stood there for a moment, wondering about his very visible shift in disposition. He’d acted like we weren’t friends, even though he said he would be one.
Miri, Brendan, and the kids joined me, and we walked out of the gym.
“What’s for dinner?” Nova asked while still being carried by Cutter.
“I was thinking subs from the deli,” I said as we reached Miri’s SUV. Everyone piled in, with me in the driver’s seat.
“Actually, I was thinking of cooking tonight,” Miri said as I closed the door.
“If you’re up for it,” I said, driving through the parking lot. We passed a row of vehicles, one of which was Weston’s. For some reason, I strained to see if he was standing there or sitting behind the steering wheel.
He wasn’t.
For some reason, I was a little put off by the cold shoulder. I thought he was someone I would be able to count on. If the boys had lost, I could understand, but they’d won, and it looked like they’d played well. But what did I know?
After we finished a dinner of roasted chicken, potatoes, and vegetables, along with some homemade dinner rolls, Miri, Brendan, and I sat in the living room. Nova went to Mara’s for a sleepover, and Cutter was upstairs, probably making Saturday night plans with his friends and Eleni.
“Dinner was amazing,” I said as I handed Miri the glass of wine she wasn’t supposed to have. She wanted one, and there was no way I’d ever tell her no. If her treatment stood a chance at extending her life, I’d be all for it, but it didn’t. At best, she had months, and that was only if every nasty cluster responded to treatment.
“It felt good to cook and not dwell,” Miri said as she took a sip. “I don’t want to dwell.”
“That’s good because I told Samira you’d host book club soon.”
Miri smiled and laughed. “Book club where very little reading takes place.”
“Then why do you call it ‘book club’?” Brendan asked. “Why not call it what it is?”
“Well,” Miri said as she put her glass on the coffee table. I watched her every move for any sign that she might be tired or in pain. The doctor had her on a boatload of painkillers, and she could lose some of her functions, but she hadn’t as of yet. Still, I waited.
“It started out as a book club. We used to read a book a week and talk about it, but then it became more. Like when Vera’s husband asked for a divorce. She needed someone to talk to, so she talked to us.” Miri shrugged. “We still pick a book and read. We just allow ourselves longer than a week on most.”
“Kind of like when you go golfing,” I said to Brendan. “It’s not like you golf and then come back. You stay around, shoot the shit with your buddies, get drunk, and miss your flight.”
Brendan smirked. “Touché.”
Miri yawned, and I looked at the time. It was close to eight. “Are you tired?”
She nodded. “I think I’m going to go up and take a bath, and then crawl into bed with the book.” Miri winked at Brendan as she stood.
He chuckled.
I went upstairs to make sure Miri was okay and checked on Cutter. He was in his room, on the phone with Eleni. His door was ajar. I knocked and waited for him to tell me to come in.
“Hey, I just wanted to see what your plans are this evening.”
“A bunch of us are going to Malik’s to hang out.”
“Are his parents home?” I already sounded like a mother and not a cool aunt.
Cutter rolled his eyes. “Yes. His house and parents’ cell phone numbers are on the refrigerator.”
“Great. Do you need me to give you a ride?”
He shook his head. “Jayden is picking me up, and yes, before you ask, Mom lets me ride with Jayden, and he has a graduated driver’s license.”
I opened my mouth to ask about Jayden’s number, but Cutter beat me to it. “His number is on the refrigerator as well.”
“Wow, this was easy. Let me know when you’re leaving. I’ll be downstairs. Your mom is taking a bath, and then she’s going to bed.”
“Thanks, Toni.”
“You’re welcome.”
As I walked back downstairs, I wondered when Miri and I would sit the kids down and talk about the future. I would need to have some kind of answer for Cutter, mostly, about our future. The thing was, I had no idea what was going to be right. My job was in Boston, and while I was in Grove Hill now, I couldn’t stay forever. At some point, Brendan’s dad would want me back in the office.
Brendan was in the kitchen doing the dishes when I walked in. I poured myself another glass of wine and sipped slowly. “You don’t have to do those.”
“I figured if they were done, you could come back to the bed-and-breakfast with me.”
“You know I can’t.”
“No, I don’t know that you can’t.” He shut the water off and dried his hands. “Miriam’s going to bed. Nova’s at a friend’s house. Cutter’s going out. What on earth would keep you here?”
“They keep me here,” I told him. “Something could happen. The kids could need me.”
“Nothing’s going to happen.” Brendan placed his hands on the counter, one on each side of me. “Come back with me.”
I shook my head. “You’re going to have to get used to this.”
“Used to what?”
“Us, with kids.”
He stood straight up. “What are you talking about?”
“The kids aren’t going anywhere, Brendan. I’m their guardian.”
He took a step back and then another. “Wow . . . um, I’m not sure what to say.” He ran a hand through his hair and blew out his breath.
“There’s nothing to say,” I told him. “I’m not letting some strangers raise my best friend’s kids.”
“They have other family, Toni.”
“No, they don’t. You know this. Other than my parents and siblings, I’m their family.” I pointed to my chest and strained to keep my voice low.
“So, what? We’re going to completely change our lives to accommodate two kids?”
“Yes, we are.”
Brendan gripped the back of the chair and looked at me. “We never talked about kids, Toni. I thought we were on the same page here with careers, marriage, travel. Kids were never part of the plan.”
“That’s not true, Brendan. Anytime I’ve brought up us having kids, you’ve said soon. Maybe that’s been your ‘plan,’” I said, adding air quotes for emphasis. “We have no plan. We’ve been together for what, four years now?” I held my left hand up. “Do you see a ring here? Are we sharing an address? No, we’re not, so again, I ask what plans?”
“We talked about taking things slow.”
“When we started dating, Brendan. You move slow then. Not years later.”
“I think it’s a bit irresponsible to tell someone you’re going to take care of their kids.”
I scoffed and pinched the bridge of my nose.
“I don’t want kids, Toni.”
“Well, I don’t know what to tell you, Brendan.”
He paced while I drank my wine.
“This is stupid to fight over.”
“I agree, but I’m not changing my mind. My best friend is dying; she doesn’t need to worry about where her kids are going. They’re going to me, and that’s final.”
“Fine.”
“Fine, what?”
“We’ll send them to boarding school. It’ll be good for Cutter. He can go to the one I went to. He’ll excel there and will be able to get into Harvard. As for Nova, my mom will know of a good one.”
I stared at him in horror. “You’ve got—”
My soon-to-be diatribe was interrupted when the front door slammed. I walked into the hallway and toward the door in time to see Cutter running down the driveway.
“That’s fucking great,” I muttered as I stomped back to the kitchen. With my finger raised, I squared up to Brendan. “No, absolutely not. I am not sending them away to be raised by people who don’t know them. Nova’s a baby. She needs nurturing. They’re losing their mom, and you think it’s okay to send them away to school because their mother dying isn’t in your plan.”
He stared.
“That’s your plan, Brendan. Not mine.”
“I don’t want kids, Toni.”
“Then I guess you don’t want me.” I stepped away from him and went to grab my coat. He followed.
“Are you really going to choose them over me?”
“The fact that you’re so in your own head right now and only thinking about yourself should give you the answer. But in case you need a verbal, yes, I am and always will.”
I walked toward the door, opened it, and held it for him to walk in front of me.
“So, this is it?”
“Yeah, it is. I’m sorry, but we don’t want the same things in life.”
“What about your job?”
I scoffed. “I’m pretty damn sure my job is safe, and if it isn’t, you’ll hear from my attorney.”
Brendan stood there for a second, with his coat hanging from his hand and his head shaking. He finally stepped off the porch and walked to his car. I didn’t care if he looked back or regretted what he’d said. I had others to care about now.
There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that Cutter had heard what Brendan said. Before I left to go look for him, I called his phone and was sent right to voicemail. I sent him a text, letting him know I wanted to talk.
I went back to the kitchen and pulled the contact list from the phone. My first call was to Jayden, asking if Cutter was with him.
“No, ma’am.”
“If you pick him up, please let me know. Okay?” He said he would.
I got in my car and began driving without having a clue as to where I was going. I kept calling Cutter’s phone, but nothing. Up and down the road I went, driving into town and through various neighborhoods.
Two hours later, I pulled into the driveway and resigned myself to waking Miri to tell her I’d lost her son.
Chapter 19
Weston
I thought I had waited long enough before returning to the gym to see Antonia and her boyfriend. When I opened the door, our gazes met, and there was no turning back. I saw avoidance, though, and I remembered how, when my relationship with Brianna had started to fall apart, I’d mastered the art of avoiding everything.
Antonia came toward me, completely unaware of what I was feeling, which was my fault. I needed some time to take the sting out of what I’d seen tonight.
I had hoped, when I looked across the gym to see her, that she’d be there and maybe wave at me. It was stupid of me to think she would even be interested in me. I probably had ten years on her, and I was a teacher. There was no way I could compete with the big corporate men in Boston.
Except, financially I could. Although I suspected Antonia didn’t believe me when I’d told her I used to be a professional baseball pitcher. If I wasn’t a sports fan, which she clearly wasn’t, I doubted I’d believe me either.
I shook my head and chided myself for even having those thoughts. We’d known each other for a week, and loosely at that. There was no reason for me to think Antonia was even interested in me. I was the one who was attracted to her.
She called my name, and my heart sang happily at the sound of her voice, but my mind screamed to keep walking. I couldn’t. My emotions were mine, and not at all her fault.
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t see you. What’s up?” I hated lying, but I couldn’t think of anything else to say. Even this felt wrong, when I wanted to point at the man she was clearly with and ask who he was, even though I knew. Cutter had told me before the game started that Toni’s boyfriend was going to keep his stats for the game.
Wasn’t that special?
“Uh . . .” She looked back at the Vaughns before looking at me. I could see it in her hazel eyes, the confusion. My sour attitude came off me in waves. I was sure of it. “I wanted to remind you about dinner.”
“Dinner?” Hell yes, I wanted to have dinner with her, but not with her boyfriend there.
“This morning, I invited you to dinner with us. Actually, it wasn’t dinner, but you were going to come over and fill me in on the travel stuff. I think we’re getting sandwiches. What can I get you?”
I couldn’t stand there and look at her, not without being pissed. She was the first woman I had met since Brianna, and I liked her. It was a schoolboy crush, the same I warned my boys about, and yet I had fallen quickly. Her boyfriend walked toward us, and I had zero desire to meet him.
“Maybe some other time.”
I greeted parents in the hall, and instead of leaving, I went toward my office. In there, I kept the lights off and the blinds pulled, needing some space to clear my thoughts.
Of course, they were about Antonia. From the first time I’d seen her across the gym, I’d had this wild attraction to her. It had only increased when she came into my office the next day and told me about Miriam.
This woman was putting her life on hold to take care of her friend’s kids and planned to raise them after her friend died, which only increased my attraction to her. I really thought that after breakfast this morning, I would be in the clear to ask her to lunch or dinner, or just spend time with her at the house.
When I invited her to use my home gym, I meant it and hoped she would take me up on my offer. It was there for her to use whenever she needed to get away or wanted to exercise without the gym bros staring at her.
I needed to heed my own invitation and hit the weights or the heavy bag when I got home. My gym was the perfect place to let go of whatever was building inside.
An hour after the game, I finally left my office. The coast was clear; all the players and parents had gone home, and I was certain I wouldn’t run into Antonia. I assumed she’d be at Miri’s, eating the sandwich she said they were going to get for dinner.
