The Liverpool Nightingales, page 29
‘Now, Maud,’ said Ada, reaching over to take hold of her hand, ‘I need you to know that, unlike some of the senior staff here at the Infirmary, I understand that sometimes life takes over and we nurses need other things apart from our work, but you do need to understand that if you become engaged or married there are those here who would not tolerate your continued employment as a nurse.’
‘I am aware of that,’ said Maud, looking up to give Ada a small smile and then staring into the fire.
Ada withdrew her hand and sat quietly, waiting for her probationer to say more if she needed to.
When Maud looked up her voice was quiet but steady. ‘I’ve tried so hard for this not to happen. He’s asked me to marry him twice and I’ve refused him each time for that very reason. I don’t want to leave nursing. I love my work.’
‘I’m so sorry, Maud,’ said Ada quietly. ‘I am sorry that these are the rules and, personally, I don’t know why they are enforced so cruelly. How can any human being have control over love? It is impossible to control.’
Maud looked up and as her eyes met Ada’s she saw a connection there and she knew in that moment that they had complete trust and understanding.
‘I don’t know what I can do, and that’s the truth. The man that I’m involved with was the person who found Alfred. Since that day he and the boy have been very close … we are all close and we’ve even been talking about going to New York.’
‘I have no easy answers for you, Maud, and, like I said, I fully understand that there is nothing that you can do about your feelings for this man and the boy.’
‘He has a dog as well,’ said Maud quietly, ‘and I even like the dog.’
‘Ah, well, you are definitely lost,’ smiled Ada. ‘But all is not beyond saving as far as I see it. We just need to find a way of working around the system. We can’t defy it, we can’t change it, but there might be a way to work around it.’
Maud looked up again with some hope in her eyes now.
‘This might not be feasible, but with the work in New York, if you were to go there, then that might provide us with an answer.’
‘In what way?’
‘Well, although they haven’t yet fully embraced Nightingale nursing in America, they are forging ahead in other ways and there is a sense that women over there are freer in some ways. That means that they might not be asking as many questions about your personal life.’
‘Do you know anyone who’s gone out there?’
‘Not personally, but I’ve heard about a Nightingale nurse called Ann Reading, who went out to nurse the troops in the Civil War. She even married one of her patients. Look, leave it with me. I have a friend, Dr Lampeter, who has worked in New York. I’ll write to him and see if he has any contacts. You once mentioned the Infirmary for Women, is that still something that would interest you?’
‘Yes, definitely,’ said Maud, smiling.
‘Right, Maud, leave it with me,’ said Ada, getting up from her chair. ‘There has to be a way around this, though I’m not saying it would be an easy choice. You will be away from all that you know and it will be challenging.’
‘I understand,’ said Maud firmly.
‘But you know what?’ said Ada, taking hold of Maud’s hand again as she stood up from her chair. ‘You have the backbone for this, Nurse Linklater, and I know that you will work hard and grasp every opportunity. We can’t lose a nurse like you simply because you want to be married. New York could be exactly the right place for you, Maud.’
As Maud walked back through the hospital she had a sense of everything starting to fall into place and it gave her a spring in her step. She hadn’t realized to what extent the whole thing about her work and the relationship with Harry had been weighing her down. In a way, although Nancy – and she was sure that it was Nancy who had supplied the information – had clearly wanted to make things difficult, she had in fact done her a favour. Far from being dismissed from the hospital in disgrace, she was now being given support and valuable advice.
As she walked by the door to Female Surgical Maud glanced in and, strangely, Nancy was right there, staring straight at her. Maud just gave her a big, beaming smile and continued on her way.
Epilogue
‘The true marriage – the noble union, by which a man and woman become together the one perfect being – probably does not exist at present upon earth.’
Florence Nightingale
Liverpool 1871
Maud looked into the oval mirror that Eddy had given her months ago, after Alfred had been found. She brushed her hair back from her face and fastened it tight with a clip, before placing the white, starched cap exactly square on her head.
Today was an important day. She would be going to the Boardroom with the rest of her group to receive their certificates and qualify as nurses. Eddy had promised that she would be ready on time and Maud could hear her crashing around in the room next door. What was she doing in there?
They needed to be off so she glanced down to her apron one more time to make sure that it was perfectly clean and straight. Then she went to knock on Eddy’s door and haul her out of there if necessary. Out on the landing she could see the others starting to emerge from their rooms, some smiling, others looking nervous. There was a buzz of excitement in the air and as she stood for a moment outside Eddy’s room all of the doors on both sides of the landing started to open. All except one: the door opposite, Nancy’s door. That stayed firmly closed but, as always, Maud could sense that Nancy was in there. She could feel the too heavy silence behind that door and it started to make her feel unsettled. She needed to break the spell so she knocked firmly on Eddy’s door and then went straight in. Eddy claimed to be all set but Maud still checked her over, straightening her apron and then asking her to remove her cap so that she could knock it back into the proper shape and make sure that, just this once, it wasn’t sat skew-whiff on her head. When they emerged on to the gallery they joined the group who were descending the stairs and walked together over the now very familiar route that led to the hospital.
However, this morning they weren’t going to the wards. They turned in the opposite direction down a corridor that led to the Boardroom and there, standing at the door and holding it open for all to enter, was Miss Houston.
‘Come on, you two,’ she said as Maud and Eddy came through into the grand room with its high ceiling and smell of polish.
Maud felt a small shiver run through her when she saw Nancy already there. She must have slipped out of her room whilst she was in with Eddy, because she was standing with a couple of probationers that she had recently acquired. Nancy didn’t look in her direction but Maud could sense that she knew that she was there. Anyway, Miss Houston was organizing them into alphabetical order, which meant that magically she was next to Eddy on one side and Nurse Langtry on the other, so at least she wouldn’t have to sit anywhere near Nancy.
Maud wasn’t sure if she was excited or nervous but her heart started to pound when she saw the line of senior people standing in front of the shiny, wooden table: Mr Jones and Mr Fawcett; a man wearing a dog collar who must be the new chaplain, the Reverend Seed; and the Miss Merryweathers.
Miss Houston quietly explained that Miss Mary Merryweather would make a short speech and then the nurses would be called up one by one to be presented with a certificate. Then they would stand to the side until the ceremony was brought to a close before going straight to the wards to resume their duties.
As soon as Miss Houston stepped back to stand in line with the senior staff, the large clock that hung on the wall chimed the hour and all went quiet except for Miss Merryweather clearing her throat to speak. At that moment Maud heard the door squeak open as someone came into the room behind them and slipped into a chair. Strangely, Mr Fawcett looked suddenly like he’d seen a ghost. Maud knew in that moment who had just come into the room. It was Alice. She’d said that she would try to come and she would be the last person that the good doctor would want to see today; someone who had seen him at the brothel.
Miss Merryweather gave a small smile and then cleared her throat again. ‘Now, you nurses,’ she said, ‘I am sorry that our Mr Rathbone cannot be here today to share this achievement with you all but he is currently in London. He is in fact visiting Miss Nightingale, so I’m sure that we can excuse him just this once.’
Miss Merryweather looked along the line of probationers and smiled. ‘It is good to see so many of this intake come through the full twelve months. Despite those who inevitably fell by the wayside for want of moral character, at least this time we have had only one death, and that was from typhus. So it is good to see such a nice group of you here today. I don’t want to take up too much of your time on such an important day so I will be brief. You women who have come through this year together are a very special breed. You have been able to display the requisite sobriety, determination, steadfastness and gentleness. You have shown that you are, for the most part, of the correct temperament to undertake this important work of nursing: you know how to be attentive, patient,’ and then she paused and gave Eddy a steely glance, ‘quiet and punctual. But this is just the start of things for you. You must go forth and do good work. All of you probationers have done well. I congratulate you … and now I will present the certificates.’
Maud saw Miss Merryweather take the first certificate off the stack on the long table and then Miss Houston began to call out names. Maud watched as her fellow probationers got up one by one and she felt her stomach tighten when it was Nurse Langtry’s turn. She hadn’t got to know Millicent Langtry all that well but she did know that whatever she did was thorough but slow. Today she seemed to move more slowly than ever as she took the certificate from Miss Merryweather and then walked along the line shaking hands. It seemed to take for ever and by the time she was finished Maud could feel her heart pounding fast.
‘Nurse Maud Linklater,’ called Miss Houston at last. As Maud got up from her seat her legs felt weak. Once she was moving, however, she managed to steady up and she started to buzz with energy. Miss Houston shook her hand first and as she did so she whispered, ‘My protégée,’ and gave Maud a big smile. Then Maud was receiving the piece of parchment from Mary Merryweather and moving along the line of handshakes. My word, Mr Jones has a very strong grip, she thought, and wondered for one moment if he was going to clap her on the back. Once back and standing to the side, Maud waited and watched the others make their own journey. Eddy was next, of course, and moving so fast that Maud almost missed her and she had to stifle a giggle when she saw how vigorously Eddy shook hands with everyone. It looked for one moment as if Miss Elizabeth Merryweather might be lifted off her feet.
As soon as Eddy was finished she came to stand by Maud and they held hands and both looked at Alice as she sat there smiling. They were so pleased that she had managed to sneak into the ceremony. But Maud couldn’t help but feel sad for Alice. She should have been standing there beside herself and Eddy.
Nancy was next to last to pass along the line. She held her head high and moved gracefully, offering a small smile and a careful handshake to all concerned but, as far as Maud could see, there seemed to be little joy in her demeanour and her blue eyes were cold as usual. When she walked to the group she held Maud’s gaze for just a few seconds and there was an unmistakable look of triumph seeping from her that made Maud feel uncomfortable.
‘Now, nurses,’ said Miss Merryweather, ‘just one more thing. We are very proud of you and you should all be proud of yourselves, but remember, the piece of paper that you hold in your hand does not make you a nurse. There is a lifetime of learning that you still need to do … Now back to the wards for duty as usual and when you get to your rooms this evening you will find the uniform of a trained nurse ready and waiting.’
Maud linked arms with Eddy and Alice, and they were just about to leave the room when Miss Houston called to her.
‘I’ll see you both later,’ said Maud, instantly peeling away and walking with Miss Houston back to the Boardroom table.
‘I just want to say my own congratulations to you, Maud. You have proved me absolutely right. I knew when I saw you that day on the ward that you would make an excellent nurse.’
Maud felt her face flush with pride.
‘Now, about the other issue.’
Maud glanced back over her shoulder to make sure that the room was empty and it was safe to talk.
‘I’ve had word back from Dr Lampeter and he has direct contact with Dr Elizabeth Blackwell at the Women’s Infirmary. I hope it’s all right but he said that he would get in touch with her straight away, and yesterday I heard from him again.’
‘And?’ said Maud, hardly able to contain her excitement.
‘And … they are very keen to take a theatre nurse trained under the Nightingale system and all they need to know is who will supply a recommendation. I will of course be happy to do that. Oh, and the only other thing they wanted to know is, when can you start?’
‘Really?’ said Maud, breaking into a smile as she stood clasping her certificate.
‘Really!’ said Ada, grabbing hold of Maud and crushing her in an embrace.
That evening as Maud walked steadily down the steps of the Nurses’ Home and out through the city to meet Harry at Lime Street Station, she could feel her heart beating like a drum. After speaking to Miss Houston she felt sure of herself and she knew exactly what she needed to do, but when she saw him, standing in the usual spot, her breath caught and she paused just for a moment to look at him. As always he seemed casual, nonchalant amongst the crowd, leaning against the brick wall with a smoke in his hand and the dog sitting at his feet. However, a man like Harry could never blend into a crowd and even as she watched she could see some of the women who passed him giving him a glance or a smile. That’s how it was for Harry and the attention just seemed to run off him like water.
As soon as he saw her he smiled and stood straight and Rita got up and shook herself. Then he ground the smoke under his boot and in the next moment she was in his arms and she could smell him and feel his body against her.
Maud had thought that she would wait until they were in a quieter spot but she couldn’t contain herself for one moment longer so she drew back from him as they stood amongst the crowd outside Lime Street and told him there and then.
‘Miss Houston has found a position for me at that hospital in New York. Please say you’ll come with me? And Alfred, too? I know we need to find money for the passage, but can we try?’
‘Of course we can,’ cheered Harry, grabbing hold of her and lifting her off her feet. ‘And of course I want to come with you. Just try stopping me!’
‘And there is one more thing,’ said Maud once he’d set her down, breathless. ‘Will you marry me?’
‘What?’ he said, and the dog pricked up her ears as well.
‘Will you marry me?’ Maud almost yelled.
‘Yes!’ he shouted and then he grabbed her again and they were dancing round and round with the dog barking at their feet.
Three months later Maud was looking into her oval mirror again. It was her last day on the ward at the Liverpool Royal Infirmary. Tomorrow she would be married and then she would be boarding a ship to cross the Atlantic Ocean for New York.
You’re still all face and forehead, she thought with a wry smile, but even though your face is a bit long, I don’t think you look so bad, not any more. And I mean, who’d have thought that you could have ended up with a man like Harry Donahue?
Moving her face a bit closer to the mirror, scrutinizing herself, she still couldn’t believe it. Tomorrow they would be married. Eddy had presented Maud with a white silk flower to wear in her hair, and there it sat on the chest of drawers, accusing her of turning frivolous.
It was important for Maud to be married and she had always hoped that she would find a suitor, but the more years that she’d spent as a housemaid and the more time went by without her finding anyone, well, she had begun to believe what she’d always been told: that she had a plain face, that she would always be plain and that it was unlikely that she would marry. But back then she had never thought that she would be anything other than a housemaid; she had never dreamt that she could be a nurse, a trained nurse, and that she would capture the interest of a man, a very handsome man, at that. None of this had ever seemed possible until she started the new life that she now had at the Infirmary.
Despite her new life, however, some things remained steadfast for Maud: she held fast to the promise that she made to herself when she and Harry first started ‘walking out’ together. She had promised that she would never go any further with him than kissing. She had stayed true to this promise even though it had been very hard at times to be so close to him and smell that smell he had and want him so much. But once Maud’s mind was made up, that was that. She had been clear with him from the start that she would not change her mind.
Her absolute insistence on this had been causing some trouble because Harry wasn’t the sort of man who liked waiting. Her impression was that he’d thought once Maud had proposed and he’d accepted then it would all fall into place and it wouldn’t matter. But he had been wrong. She had been clear: they would be waiting till after they were married and that was that. He had seemed to understand, and given that he’d been taken up by their plans to go to New York, perhaps the waiting time had been made easier for him. Given that they were bound for America and a whole new life of which she knew nothing, she was hoping that she wouldn’t fall pregnant for some time anyway and she would be using the birth control sponges that Eddy had got for her. Yes, she did want children of her own eventually – even though she had Alfred, she definitely wanted others – but she had done so well to get the offer of work from New York and she couldn’t waste an opportunity like that.
They were all set to go, and young Alfred would be coming with them. He’d really taken to Harry. Maud knew that it would be very hard for Miss Fairchild to part with Alfred now but she was all in favour of him making a new life for himself and having a fresh start in America with Maud and Harry, as long as they were married, of course. Not only that, she’d offered to pay for the passage to America, not just for the boy but for all of them in their own cabin. Maud had said no at first: it was too much; they couldn’t accept it; she’d been saving up her own money as well. She thought she would have enough, maybe not for a cabin but definitely for the passage. But in the end Harry had managed to persuade her that they should accept Miss Fairchild’s offer. After all, Maud was like family to her. So Maud gave in and Miss Fairchild even arranged for them to take the dog as well, because she knew that it would have broken Harry and Alfred’s hearts to leave Rita behind in Liverpool.
