The Liverpool Nightingales, page 17
Then the door clicked shut.
‘Thank you,’ said Maud to the blue painted wood. ‘Thanks for that.’
She turned, and from her vantage point on the stone steps she could make out the shapes in the alley and plan her way through. She knew she would have to go fast and not stop and she knew she would have to go now, straight away, whilst she had the nerve. Her heart was pounding but she thought that she could do it.
She could hear the noise from the pub before she could see it. There seemed to be many people singing very loud, drowning out the tinkle of a piano. She had never been into a pub before in her life, having always been told that it was no place for women. If it hadn’t been for her need to do the best for Alice there is no way on earth that she would have gone into such a place but there she was, standing outside the door, knowing that she had no choice.
Whilst she was waiting the door swung open and a man staggered out, giving her a glimpse of the interior. It was so full of smoke that she could barely make out who was standing at the bar. It looked like they were all men. With the opening of the door the full volume of the noise hit her for a few seconds, not just singing but people shouting and laughing. And the smell that wafted in her direction was pure tobacco smoke overlaying the odour of beer and unwashed bodies. Maud’s stomach tightened instantly but she knew that she had no choice, particularly since the man who had just come out of the place was sidling up to her with a strange look on his face.
She took a deep breath, said to herself, ‘Here I go’, pushed the door open and then she was in. It felt like hell on earth and she hadn’t accounted for the press of bodies around her. She would need to push her way through if she wanted to find Stella. So she pushed and squeezed past some of the men until she came up against one who would not budge, even though she used all of her power. Then through the noise she could hear the sound of a man laughing and when she looked up she saw that the man she was trying to move out of the way was looking down at her and laughing his head off.
‘Excuse me, please,’ said Maud, giving another push, determined to get past.
‘Whoa, whoa,’ said the man. ‘Steady on, Maud. What the blazes are you doing in a place like this anyway?’
Maud looked up sharply to find Harry Donahue grinning at her.
‘What the …?’ she said, thinking to herself: well, that’s all I need, having him here as well.
‘I need to get past,’ she said, meeting his gaze and trying to seem as if she did this kind of thing every day of the week.
‘But why are you here? Do you need to get to the bar? Do you want me to buy you a glass of ale?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ said Maud.
‘What then?’
‘I’m looking for someone.’
‘Well, here I am,’ he said, holding both arms out to her.
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ she said again. ‘Not you.’
Harry pulled his mouth down in mock sorrow. ‘If not me, who then?’
There didn’t seem to be any way round it so Maud said, ‘I’m looking for a woman called Stella.’
‘Stella?’ said Harry. ‘Why on earth would you be looking for a woman like her? I mean, don’t get me wrong, most of the men in here are looking for a woman like Stella, especially the brilliant, beautiful Stella O’Connor. But why are you looking for her?’
‘It isn’t really any of your business,’ said Maud, feeling impatient and drawing herself up to her full height.
‘Well now, if you want me to help you find her, which I’m taking it you do, then it has to be my business,’ he said, smirking at her.
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake, I just need to ask her something, that’s all,’ said Maud, knowing by now that she wasn’t going to get anywhere unless she told Harry something and even enlisted his help.
‘What kind of thing?’
‘Look,’ said Maud, ‘I’ve had enough of this. Don’t just stand there like a ninny, show me where she is right now.’
‘Like a what?’ said Harry, laughing his head off.
‘Now,’ said Maud, starting to raise a hand to him.
‘Whoa, whoa, right, I can see you mean business … I know exactly where to find her. Come with me,’ he said, catching hold of her hand and dragging her through a group of men to a space by the end of the bar.
‘There she is,’ he said, pointing to the person playing the piano. ‘There’s our Stella.’
‘Thank you,’ said Maud. ‘That will be all.’
Harry cracked up laughing. ‘That will be all, will it? That will be all.’
Maud did not smile. The man was infuriating, yet she was shocked to register that there was something inside – a very strong feeling – that made her want to smile and even have a beer with him. But she locked it deep down. She could not possibly give someone like him any encouragement, especially in a place like this. She could not, she would not, and that was that.
Harry stood by as Maud tried to catch Stella’s attention by waving, and then she called out to her, but her gesture and voice were drowned out by the smoke and the noise. Seeing her vain attempts, Harry picked up his pint and shouted out, ‘Let’s raise a glass to all here now, and those we’ve left behind … And to Stella, lovely as always, and who needs to have a word with someone here at the bar.’ Maud saw Stella look up from the piano and she knew that she had seen her in the moment before the whole pub shouted, ‘Cheers!’ and everyone took a swig of ale. The man next to Maud missed his mouth and it slopped down his front and on to her sleeve. She brushed at it with her hand but knew that she would reek of beer for some time to come.
‘Shorry,’ said the man, sloshing more of his ale on to her as he leant forward to apologize.
Maud turned her back on him and waited. This meant that she was face to face again with Harry Donahue. He didn’t say anything but just kept smiling at her.
She tried not to look at him but she knew that he was looking at her. She could feel him examining every tiny detail of her face and she had to fight hard to keep her poise.
Maud was so relieved to feel a tap on her shoulder and she knew that it was Stella.
‘All right there, Maud?’ she said. ‘This is the last place I thought I’d see you.’
‘It’s the last place I would have come if I wasn’t desperate,’ she said, having to shout above the noise of a group of men who seemed to be having some kind of banter, or maybe they were starting a fight.
She felt Harry push past her and heard him say, ‘Now, you lot, calm down. There’s nobody goin’ to start throwing punches inside here. Just you wait for me to do that later … outside. Have you placed your bets?’
For goodness’ sake, thought Maud, does he never learn? And, struggling to hear Stella, she saw her indicate that they should go outside. As they passed by the group with Harry, Maud saw her pat him on the shoulder and he turned and smiled at her and then gave Maud a small salute. She looked away immediately, pretending that she hadn’t seen, but she could feel her heart racing.
Maud was so relieved to be back on the pavement with the door to the pub closed behind them that she felt like she needed to sit down. Stella stood with her hands on her hips and took in some deep breaths of air. ‘It gets a bit stale in there at times, and a bit loud,’ she said. ‘Sorry about that. I’m used to it, but I know that you aren’t. Now, there must be some good reason why you’ve come all the way here to see me – is it about Alice?’
‘It is,’ said Maud, still feeling like she had been chewed up and spat out by the pub, but so relieved to speak to Stella, who instantly understood what was going on without even being told.
‘We’re just a bit worried,’ said Maud, needing to catch her breath and slow her heart before she could continue. ‘She’s really tired, she doesn’t think that the baby is moving and she’s seen a few spots of blood. I have no idea about these things. I’ve told her to rest tonight, but what do you think? Will she be all right?’
Stella thought for a moment then said, ‘Has she been working today?’
‘Yes,’ said Maud, ‘and we’ve been really busy.’
‘And you say a few spots of blood, fresh blood? And only a few drops?’
‘Yes, yes, I think so,’ said Maud, wishing that she’d taken a bit more time to get the precise details from Alice before she hurtled off across town.
‘Well, it sounds to me like she’s just overdone things at work and, being so busy, she probably hasn’t had time to feel the baby moving. As for the blood, well, it might be nothing or it might get worse, and if it does it might mean that she will lose the baby. That’s nature’s way and there isn’t anything we can do to stop that, not us working women at any rate. The better off, they can stay in bed resting, but us lot, we need to get on, don’t we? No time to be lying about for us.’
That’s true, thought Maud, also thinking that if Alice did lose the baby in the long run it might well be the best thing for her anyway.
‘So tell her to rest overnight. She needs to rest as much as she can now, and she’s not to worry about the bleeding but to keep an eye on it. And tell her that the baby is probably still moving, she’s just been too busy to feel it.’
‘I understand. Thank you so much for that, Stella. I know you need to get back; I don’t want to keep you from your …’ said Maud, not able to find quite the right word for what she thought Stella might be doing.
‘No, that’s all right, any time. And, yes, I do need to get back in there to that rabble,’ said Stella. ‘Bye for now, but like I said, come and see me any time. Cheerio.’
‘Cheerio,’ said Maud, turning to walk back as fast as she could to the Nurses’ Home before they closed the door. But her way was blocked. Two men wearing dark suits had instantly stepped out of the shadow of a building and now they were in front of her.
‘Evening, miss,’ said one of the men. ‘We’ve been observing this public house all evening and me and my partner here, we saw you going in earlier and we have just seen you waiting outside. Not only that, you have been in the company of a woman we suspect is of ill repute. Would you like to tell us who you are waiting for out here? Are you waiting for a customer?’
‘What do you mean?’ said Maud, having no understanding whatsoever of why she might be being questioned. Not only that, but one of the men had moved to her side and had taken hold of her arm.
‘Let go of me,’ she said, instinctively taking her arm out of his grasp.
‘I think you need to be answering our questions, young lady,’ said the other man, who still stood in front of her. ‘Until we know exactly what is going on here, we will not be able to let you go.’
‘What do you mean?’ said Maud again. ‘Who are you?’ She was trying to stay calm but beginning to feel panic rising inside her now.
‘We are gentlemen of the law who have been given jurisdiction under the Contagious Diseases Acts to manage the likes of women like you who prowl our streets looking for men – looking for men and looking for money. And then infecting our men with venereal diseases.’
‘How dare you?’ said Maud, fully realizing exactly what they were saying. ‘I can give a full account of myself. I have nothing to hide.’
Then she heard Stella’s voice: ‘She has nothing to hide, gentlemen, it’s true. She’s telling the truth.’
Maud looked round, as did the men, to see Stella in the doorway of the pub. She must have been watching to make sure I got away safely, thought Maud.
‘This lass is a nurse at the hospital. Go up there tomorrow if you want to check, and you will find her on one of the male wards, tending the sick and dealing with men … the likes of you. How dare you even think that this woman could be working the streets? Look at her: she isn’t dressed right, and even if she was choosing to earn a living like that, so what? What business is it of yours? You should be speaking to the men, not picking up women off the streets.’
‘It’s all right, Stella, really,’ said Maud, seeing how the men were looking at Stella, and sensing that they were only a hair’s-breadth away from latching on to her instead and taking her with them. ‘You go back inside and play the piano. I’m going to make my way back to the hospital.’ With that, she stepped away from the two men and left them staring at Stella, who now had the benefit of a couple of rough-looking men from inside the pub standing by her side.
‘We won’t take the matter any further this time,’ said one of the men to Maud’s back, ‘but make sure we don’t find you out here again.’
Maud didn’t turn round. She just kept walking as fast as she could, a cold shiver running down her spine and a feeling that someone was breathing down her neck.
She didn’t feel safe until she was in through the heavy wooden door of the Nurses’ Home. And as she entered the space inside she smelt the varnish and gave thanks for the solid tiled floor beneath her feet and the skylight reaching up to heaven above her. In her absolute relief at being home safe she realized just how special this place had become to her. It was like some kind of sanctuary, and the feeling was so powerful, she knew that everything would be all right. She was safe now; she was back.
She moved further into the space and then stood in her favourite spot looking up at the skylight. She heard the door to Miss Merryweather’s room click open and in moments she was aware of the superintendent standing right next to her.
‘I love it too,’ Miss Merryweather said, almost able to read Maud’s mind, ‘even now, when it’s dark outside. I always hope to see the stars. There is no better place than standing right here, exactly where Miss Nightingale meant us to be. This place was built to stand for ever and be used by generations of nurses who will come after us, when we are long gone. Who knows what the world of nursing and medicine will have to offer by then? With the changes that I’ve seen already in my lifetime I sense that there is so much more to come, so much to look forward to.’
‘Yes,’ said Maud, ‘I sense that too, standing here. It feels like we are at the beginning of something very special. I wonder if those nurses in generations to come will stand here and think about us.’
‘They will,’ said Miss Merryweather. ‘Miss Nightingale has already laid such a strong foundation, I think that even in a hundred years’ time she will still be known and still talked about. And the rest of us can make our mark as well in the work that we are doing now. We can do our bit to progress the profession.’
Then they both stood quiet for a few more minutes, lost in their own thoughts, before the front door opened again and someone else returned, brushing through the entrance quickly with her head down and going straight up the stairs. Must have caught sight of Miss Merryweather, thought Maud, realizing that she was still standing in comfortable companionship with the superintendent and she hadn’t yet got back to Alice to tell her what Stella had said.
‘Good night then, Miss Merryweather,’ said Maud as she turned to make her way to Alice’s room.
‘Good night, Nurse Linklater,’ said the superintendent, still staring up to the skylight.
Maud tapped lightly on Alice’s door and then went straight in as soon as she heard a response. ‘How are you, Alice?’ she said, finding her friend lying on her side, trying to look relaxed but still seeming quite stricken.
‘What did Stella say?’ Alice asked immediately.
‘She said you were not to worry, it is probably just that you have been overworking. Have you had any more bleeding?’
‘No, nothing else.’
Maud felt relief settle inside of her. ‘Well, that’s good then. There is no need to worry unless the bleeding gets much worse.’
‘Are you sure? Is that what Stella said?’
‘Yes, that’s what she said, and she also said that sometimes when you are busy you don’t notice the baby moving. Has it been moving?’
Alice smiled. ‘Yes, just as soon as you went out through the door the little blighter started moving all over the place. Sorry, Maud, that you had to go out across the city at this time of night.’
‘So long as you’re feeling better everything is all right and, well, I’ve had an interesting time,’ said Maud, not wanting to disclose any of the details to Alice.
‘This all seems so ridiculous, doesn’t it, Maud? Not many weeks ago I wanted to start bleeding, I wanted to lose the baby, but now … now I am absolutely terrified that something will go wrong. How ridiculous.’
‘It’s not ridiculous,’ said Maud. ‘That’s life. And no wonder you didn’t relish the idea of carrying a child and bringing it up with no father, and going through what women have to go through to deliver it. No wonder, Alice!’
‘Will you stay with me, Maud?’
‘Of course I will. I can squeeze into your bed for one night.’
‘No, no, I didn’t mean tonight – I’ll be all right now – I meant stay with me throughout all of this, stay close.’
‘Of course I will,’ said Maud, leaning down to give Alice a hug so she didn’t need to get up off the bed.
‘You stink of beer and tobacco,’ said Alice, wrinkling her nose. ‘Whatever have you been doing out there, Maud?’
‘Oh, nothing,’ said Maud. ‘I had an interesting time, that’s all. Nothing to be concerned about.’
‘Mmm,’ said Alice, narrowing her eyes. ‘Well, don’t go running off like that again. We both need to get a better grip of things, I think. Everything will be fine.’
‘It will,’ said Maud, giving Alice a kiss on the cheek. ‘Now get some sleep. We’re back on the ward tomorrow and Sister Law will be on the warpath if we’re late.’
12
‘… the superintendent should be able to go to all parts of the hospital under her charge without its being known where she is, nor when she is coming.’
Florence Nightingale
Maud kept an eye on Alice for the next few weeks, making sure that she got as much rest as she could. Overly anxious at first, she drove her friend mad with constant questions. In the end she had to be told not to keep asking and so then she had to rely on how Alice looked. Fortunately for both of them, Alice was looking well. Her colour was good, she seemed to have an air of contentment, and slowly Maud started to put her anxiety aside. In fact, far from being pale, Alice even seemed to be getting a bit of a flush on her cheeks. But time was going by and Maud knew that it wouldn’t be long before the shape of Alice’s belly would start making itself known to other people.
‘Thank you,’ said Maud to the blue painted wood. ‘Thanks for that.’
She turned, and from her vantage point on the stone steps she could make out the shapes in the alley and plan her way through. She knew she would have to go fast and not stop and she knew she would have to go now, straight away, whilst she had the nerve. Her heart was pounding but she thought that she could do it.
She could hear the noise from the pub before she could see it. There seemed to be many people singing very loud, drowning out the tinkle of a piano. She had never been into a pub before in her life, having always been told that it was no place for women. If it hadn’t been for her need to do the best for Alice there is no way on earth that she would have gone into such a place but there she was, standing outside the door, knowing that she had no choice.
Whilst she was waiting the door swung open and a man staggered out, giving her a glimpse of the interior. It was so full of smoke that she could barely make out who was standing at the bar. It looked like they were all men. With the opening of the door the full volume of the noise hit her for a few seconds, not just singing but people shouting and laughing. And the smell that wafted in her direction was pure tobacco smoke overlaying the odour of beer and unwashed bodies. Maud’s stomach tightened instantly but she knew that she had no choice, particularly since the man who had just come out of the place was sidling up to her with a strange look on his face.
She took a deep breath, said to herself, ‘Here I go’, pushed the door open and then she was in. It felt like hell on earth and she hadn’t accounted for the press of bodies around her. She would need to push her way through if she wanted to find Stella. So she pushed and squeezed past some of the men until she came up against one who would not budge, even though she used all of her power. Then through the noise she could hear the sound of a man laughing and when she looked up she saw that the man she was trying to move out of the way was looking down at her and laughing his head off.
‘Excuse me, please,’ said Maud, giving another push, determined to get past.
‘Whoa, whoa,’ said the man. ‘Steady on, Maud. What the blazes are you doing in a place like this anyway?’
Maud looked up sharply to find Harry Donahue grinning at her.
‘What the …?’ she said, thinking to herself: well, that’s all I need, having him here as well.
‘I need to get past,’ she said, meeting his gaze and trying to seem as if she did this kind of thing every day of the week.
‘But why are you here? Do you need to get to the bar? Do you want me to buy you a glass of ale?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ said Maud.
‘What then?’
‘I’m looking for someone.’
‘Well, here I am,’ he said, holding both arms out to her.
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ she said again. ‘Not you.’
Harry pulled his mouth down in mock sorrow. ‘If not me, who then?’
There didn’t seem to be any way round it so Maud said, ‘I’m looking for a woman called Stella.’
‘Stella?’ said Harry. ‘Why on earth would you be looking for a woman like her? I mean, don’t get me wrong, most of the men in here are looking for a woman like Stella, especially the brilliant, beautiful Stella O’Connor. But why are you looking for her?’
‘It isn’t really any of your business,’ said Maud, feeling impatient and drawing herself up to her full height.
‘Well now, if you want me to help you find her, which I’m taking it you do, then it has to be my business,’ he said, smirking at her.
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake, I just need to ask her something, that’s all,’ said Maud, knowing by now that she wasn’t going to get anywhere unless she told Harry something and even enlisted his help.
‘What kind of thing?’
‘Look,’ said Maud, ‘I’ve had enough of this. Don’t just stand there like a ninny, show me where she is right now.’
‘Like a what?’ said Harry, laughing his head off.
‘Now,’ said Maud, starting to raise a hand to him.
‘Whoa, whoa, right, I can see you mean business … I know exactly where to find her. Come with me,’ he said, catching hold of her hand and dragging her through a group of men to a space by the end of the bar.
‘There she is,’ he said, pointing to the person playing the piano. ‘There’s our Stella.’
‘Thank you,’ said Maud. ‘That will be all.’
Harry cracked up laughing. ‘That will be all, will it? That will be all.’
Maud did not smile. The man was infuriating, yet she was shocked to register that there was something inside – a very strong feeling – that made her want to smile and even have a beer with him. But she locked it deep down. She could not possibly give someone like him any encouragement, especially in a place like this. She could not, she would not, and that was that.
Harry stood by as Maud tried to catch Stella’s attention by waving, and then she called out to her, but her gesture and voice were drowned out by the smoke and the noise. Seeing her vain attempts, Harry picked up his pint and shouted out, ‘Let’s raise a glass to all here now, and those we’ve left behind … And to Stella, lovely as always, and who needs to have a word with someone here at the bar.’ Maud saw Stella look up from the piano and she knew that she had seen her in the moment before the whole pub shouted, ‘Cheers!’ and everyone took a swig of ale. The man next to Maud missed his mouth and it slopped down his front and on to her sleeve. She brushed at it with her hand but knew that she would reek of beer for some time to come.
‘Shorry,’ said the man, sloshing more of his ale on to her as he leant forward to apologize.
Maud turned her back on him and waited. This meant that she was face to face again with Harry Donahue. He didn’t say anything but just kept smiling at her.
She tried not to look at him but she knew that he was looking at her. She could feel him examining every tiny detail of her face and she had to fight hard to keep her poise.
Maud was so relieved to feel a tap on her shoulder and she knew that it was Stella.
‘All right there, Maud?’ she said. ‘This is the last place I thought I’d see you.’
‘It’s the last place I would have come if I wasn’t desperate,’ she said, having to shout above the noise of a group of men who seemed to be having some kind of banter, or maybe they were starting a fight.
She felt Harry push past her and heard him say, ‘Now, you lot, calm down. There’s nobody goin’ to start throwing punches inside here. Just you wait for me to do that later … outside. Have you placed your bets?’
For goodness’ sake, thought Maud, does he never learn? And, struggling to hear Stella, she saw her indicate that they should go outside. As they passed by the group with Harry, Maud saw her pat him on the shoulder and he turned and smiled at her and then gave Maud a small salute. She looked away immediately, pretending that she hadn’t seen, but she could feel her heart racing.
Maud was so relieved to be back on the pavement with the door to the pub closed behind them that she felt like she needed to sit down. Stella stood with her hands on her hips and took in some deep breaths of air. ‘It gets a bit stale in there at times, and a bit loud,’ she said. ‘Sorry about that. I’m used to it, but I know that you aren’t. Now, there must be some good reason why you’ve come all the way here to see me – is it about Alice?’
‘It is,’ said Maud, still feeling like she had been chewed up and spat out by the pub, but so relieved to speak to Stella, who instantly understood what was going on without even being told.
‘We’re just a bit worried,’ said Maud, needing to catch her breath and slow her heart before she could continue. ‘She’s really tired, she doesn’t think that the baby is moving and she’s seen a few spots of blood. I have no idea about these things. I’ve told her to rest tonight, but what do you think? Will she be all right?’
Stella thought for a moment then said, ‘Has she been working today?’
‘Yes,’ said Maud, ‘and we’ve been really busy.’
‘And you say a few spots of blood, fresh blood? And only a few drops?’
‘Yes, yes, I think so,’ said Maud, wishing that she’d taken a bit more time to get the precise details from Alice before she hurtled off across town.
‘Well, it sounds to me like she’s just overdone things at work and, being so busy, she probably hasn’t had time to feel the baby moving. As for the blood, well, it might be nothing or it might get worse, and if it does it might mean that she will lose the baby. That’s nature’s way and there isn’t anything we can do to stop that, not us working women at any rate. The better off, they can stay in bed resting, but us lot, we need to get on, don’t we? No time to be lying about for us.’
That’s true, thought Maud, also thinking that if Alice did lose the baby in the long run it might well be the best thing for her anyway.
‘So tell her to rest overnight. She needs to rest as much as she can now, and she’s not to worry about the bleeding but to keep an eye on it. And tell her that the baby is probably still moving, she’s just been too busy to feel it.’
‘I understand. Thank you so much for that, Stella. I know you need to get back; I don’t want to keep you from your …’ said Maud, not able to find quite the right word for what she thought Stella might be doing.
‘No, that’s all right, any time. And, yes, I do need to get back in there to that rabble,’ said Stella. ‘Bye for now, but like I said, come and see me any time. Cheerio.’
‘Cheerio,’ said Maud, turning to walk back as fast as she could to the Nurses’ Home before they closed the door. But her way was blocked. Two men wearing dark suits had instantly stepped out of the shadow of a building and now they were in front of her.
‘Evening, miss,’ said one of the men. ‘We’ve been observing this public house all evening and me and my partner here, we saw you going in earlier and we have just seen you waiting outside. Not only that, you have been in the company of a woman we suspect is of ill repute. Would you like to tell us who you are waiting for out here? Are you waiting for a customer?’
‘What do you mean?’ said Maud, having no understanding whatsoever of why she might be being questioned. Not only that, but one of the men had moved to her side and had taken hold of her arm.
‘Let go of me,’ she said, instinctively taking her arm out of his grasp.
‘I think you need to be answering our questions, young lady,’ said the other man, who still stood in front of her. ‘Until we know exactly what is going on here, we will not be able to let you go.’
‘What do you mean?’ said Maud again. ‘Who are you?’ She was trying to stay calm but beginning to feel panic rising inside her now.
‘We are gentlemen of the law who have been given jurisdiction under the Contagious Diseases Acts to manage the likes of women like you who prowl our streets looking for men – looking for men and looking for money. And then infecting our men with venereal diseases.’
‘How dare you?’ said Maud, fully realizing exactly what they were saying. ‘I can give a full account of myself. I have nothing to hide.’
Then she heard Stella’s voice: ‘She has nothing to hide, gentlemen, it’s true. She’s telling the truth.’
Maud looked round, as did the men, to see Stella in the doorway of the pub. She must have been watching to make sure I got away safely, thought Maud.
‘This lass is a nurse at the hospital. Go up there tomorrow if you want to check, and you will find her on one of the male wards, tending the sick and dealing with men … the likes of you. How dare you even think that this woman could be working the streets? Look at her: she isn’t dressed right, and even if she was choosing to earn a living like that, so what? What business is it of yours? You should be speaking to the men, not picking up women off the streets.’
‘It’s all right, Stella, really,’ said Maud, seeing how the men were looking at Stella, and sensing that they were only a hair’s-breadth away from latching on to her instead and taking her with them. ‘You go back inside and play the piano. I’m going to make my way back to the hospital.’ With that, she stepped away from the two men and left them staring at Stella, who now had the benefit of a couple of rough-looking men from inside the pub standing by her side.
‘We won’t take the matter any further this time,’ said one of the men to Maud’s back, ‘but make sure we don’t find you out here again.’
Maud didn’t turn round. She just kept walking as fast as she could, a cold shiver running down her spine and a feeling that someone was breathing down her neck.
She didn’t feel safe until she was in through the heavy wooden door of the Nurses’ Home. And as she entered the space inside she smelt the varnish and gave thanks for the solid tiled floor beneath her feet and the skylight reaching up to heaven above her. In her absolute relief at being home safe she realized just how special this place had become to her. It was like some kind of sanctuary, and the feeling was so powerful, she knew that everything would be all right. She was safe now; she was back.
She moved further into the space and then stood in her favourite spot looking up at the skylight. She heard the door to Miss Merryweather’s room click open and in moments she was aware of the superintendent standing right next to her.
‘I love it too,’ Miss Merryweather said, almost able to read Maud’s mind, ‘even now, when it’s dark outside. I always hope to see the stars. There is no better place than standing right here, exactly where Miss Nightingale meant us to be. This place was built to stand for ever and be used by generations of nurses who will come after us, when we are long gone. Who knows what the world of nursing and medicine will have to offer by then? With the changes that I’ve seen already in my lifetime I sense that there is so much more to come, so much to look forward to.’
‘Yes,’ said Maud, ‘I sense that too, standing here. It feels like we are at the beginning of something very special. I wonder if those nurses in generations to come will stand here and think about us.’
‘They will,’ said Miss Merryweather. ‘Miss Nightingale has already laid such a strong foundation, I think that even in a hundred years’ time she will still be known and still talked about. And the rest of us can make our mark as well in the work that we are doing now. We can do our bit to progress the profession.’
Then they both stood quiet for a few more minutes, lost in their own thoughts, before the front door opened again and someone else returned, brushing through the entrance quickly with her head down and going straight up the stairs. Must have caught sight of Miss Merryweather, thought Maud, realizing that she was still standing in comfortable companionship with the superintendent and she hadn’t yet got back to Alice to tell her what Stella had said.
‘Good night then, Miss Merryweather,’ said Maud as she turned to make her way to Alice’s room.
‘Good night, Nurse Linklater,’ said the superintendent, still staring up to the skylight.
Maud tapped lightly on Alice’s door and then went straight in as soon as she heard a response. ‘How are you, Alice?’ she said, finding her friend lying on her side, trying to look relaxed but still seeming quite stricken.
‘What did Stella say?’ Alice asked immediately.
‘She said you were not to worry, it is probably just that you have been overworking. Have you had any more bleeding?’
‘No, nothing else.’
Maud felt relief settle inside of her. ‘Well, that’s good then. There is no need to worry unless the bleeding gets much worse.’
‘Are you sure? Is that what Stella said?’
‘Yes, that’s what she said, and she also said that sometimes when you are busy you don’t notice the baby moving. Has it been moving?’
Alice smiled. ‘Yes, just as soon as you went out through the door the little blighter started moving all over the place. Sorry, Maud, that you had to go out across the city at this time of night.’
‘So long as you’re feeling better everything is all right and, well, I’ve had an interesting time,’ said Maud, not wanting to disclose any of the details to Alice.
‘This all seems so ridiculous, doesn’t it, Maud? Not many weeks ago I wanted to start bleeding, I wanted to lose the baby, but now … now I am absolutely terrified that something will go wrong. How ridiculous.’
‘It’s not ridiculous,’ said Maud. ‘That’s life. And no wonder you didn’t relish the idea of carrying a child and bringing it up with no father, and going through what women have to go through to deliver it. No wonder, Alice!’
‘Will you stay with me, Maud?’
‘Of course I will. I can squeeze into your bed for one night.’
‘No, no, I didn’t mean tonight – I’ll be all right now – I meant stay with me throughout all of this, stay close.’
‘Of course I will,’ said Maud, leaning down to give Alice a hug so she didn’t need to get up off the bed.
‘You stink of beer and tobacco,’ said Alice, wrinkling her nose. ‘Whatever have you been doing out there, Maud?’
‘Oh, nothing,’ said Maud. ‘I had an interesting time, that’s all. Nothing to be concerned about.’
‘Mmm,’ said Alice, narrowing her eyes. ‘Well, don’t go running off like that again. We both need to get a better grip of things, I think. Everything will be fine.’
‘It will,’ said Maud, giving Alice a kiss on the cheek. ‘Now get some sleep. We’re back on the ward tomorrow and Sister Law will be on the warpath if we’re late.’
12
‘… the superintendent should be able to go to all parts of the hospital under her charge without its being known where she is, nor when she is coming.’
Florence Nightingale
Maud kept an eye on Alice for the next few weeks, making sure that she got as much rest as she could. Overly anxious at first, she drove her friend mad with constant questions. In the end she had to be told not to keep asking and so then she had to rely on how Alice looked. Fortunately for both of them, Alice was looking well. Her colour was good, she seemed to have an air of contentment, and slowly Maud started to put her anxiety aside. In fact, far from being pale, Alice even seemed to be getting a bit of a flush on her cheeks. But time was going by and Maud knew that it wouldn’t be long before the shape of Alice’s belly would start making itself known to other people.
