The Liverpool Nightingales, page 24
Anyway, Maud stayed with Alice in her room until the rest had gone to the wards and then Miss Merryweather knocked on the door. For some reason, they both knew that it was her as soon as they heard the sound, and they looked at each other, their eyes wide, till Maud got up and opened the door.
‘Miss Houston has told me everything,’ said Miss Merryweather rather stiffly as she swept into the room, wearing her bonnet as she often did, even inside the building. ‘I am sorry that you are having to leave us so abruptly, Nurse Sampson, but there is no way round these things. I know that Nurse Linklater will keep in touch with you and let us know how things are going. Please let us know if there is anything you need.’
‘Thank you, Miss Merryweather,’ said Maud and Alice together. And then the superintendent withdrew from the room with a solemn expression and clicked the door shut behind her.
Maud and Alice looked at each other with their eyebrows raised and then Alice smiled and started to shake her head. ‘Well, I never thought that. I thought she was coming up here to tear me off a strip good and proper.’
‘I told you she was nice,’ said Maud.
‘Not sure that “nice” is the word that I’d use, Maud, but she is … honourable, is that the right word?’
‘She is honourable and stern, but I like her,’ said Maud. ‘Now let’s get your stuff sorted out and then I’ll go out and see Stella.’
Walking out again towards Lime Street on her now familiar route Maud made sure, as always, to look at all the children, just in case there was one with a particular shade of hair, one that might be Alfred.
As she got closer to Lime Street Station she felt that buzz of excitement and the people were packed closer together. Then she heard the whistle of a train getting ready to leave. She felt a thrill go through her and the crowd of people around her as well. She had learnt to walk through this part of the city in a determined way, to hold her ground and so she pushed her way through in order to avoid being taken up with the surge of folk making their way into the railway station.
Then, through a small gap within a group of people moving towards the entrance to the station, she saw a small boy. Although she could see only the back of him, he was the right height and colouring. Could it be Alfred? She felt a surge of excitement as she pushed through the group of people. She couldn’t lose sight of him, not now.
‘Oi, watch it,’ said a red-faced man with a scowl and the smell of liquor on his breath, but Maud pushed past before he could catch his breath. She could still see the boy and she called his name but he was moving quickly and, being small, he could easily dodge around and through people’s legs. Maud was determined, however, and she fought her way through to keep up with him. But suddenly he had disappeared completely from view. She spun around, scanning the people milling around her. Where could he have gone? She had lost him despite her dogged pursuit. Instantly tears sprung to her eyes and she felt her heart pounding.
She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. Looking around again, she knew that there was only one place that he could have gone. To her left was a large stone building with a huge wooden door standing open. There didn’t seem to be anywhere else that he could be so Maud walked in that direction.
The small boy was sitting forlornly on the steps of the building. He was so small she couldn’t see him from the street and he didn’t come into view until she got right up near the door. But he was there, all right … only it wasn’t Alfred. Maud stood in front of him feeling like she had been winded. She felt such a fool. To cover herself she put her hand in her pocket for a coin, gave it to the boy and then continued walking up the steps and into the building.
Once through the door she heard the hollow sound of her own feet as they walked across some marble tiles. She stopped and then the sense of something in that building came over her: a stillness and calm … real calm. It felt to Maud like the feeling that she’d had the first time that she’d walked through the door into the Nurses’ Home. It was as if she had entered some hallowed place, with its high ceiling like a church, and it was so still and quiet. The stillness instantly calmed her. She felt as though she was breathing it in. When she looked around she saw there were paintings on the walls. Most of them seemed to be of rich people, mostly men, but there was one to the side, near the door. A sign above it said something about new work, modern painters, and something called ‘Pre-Raphaelite’. Maud had no idea what that meant but she had never seen colours like that anywhere in real life. The brightness of them, the yellows and greens and the earthy brown and red – they felt real. The painting was of two sitting figures, a woman and a girl. The girl had the same blond hair as Alfred and both of them were working people: they wore tattered clothes and heavy boots. There were two rainbows behind them, and even though the sky was dark and menacing the rainbows shone out. Maud felt as if she was holding her breath as she stood there in front of the painting. She felt transported and filled with hope.
In the end she had almost to tear herself away from the painting. She decided if the boy that she’d mistaken for Alfred was still sitting on the step outside, she would try to take him somewhere to safety, or at least give him the rest of the coins she had left in her pocket. But when she got to the door, the boy was gone and there was only a man with a stiff brush sweeping up the dead leaves that had collected by the step.
‘Have you seen a boy?’ said Maud.
‘What boy?’ said the man, stopping in his work for a moment.
‘The one who was sitting on the step just five minutes ago.’
‘Nah,’ said the man, shaking his head, ‘there’s always waifs and strays coming in ’ere and sitting on them steps. Even if I ’ad seen one, they all look the same to me. I wouldn’t ’ave been able to say if it was one in particular.’
Maud just looked at him, knowing straight away that of course he had seen the boy and he had probably chased him off the step with his brush.
‘Right,’ said Maud, and the man went back to his sweeping, muttering something like, ‘Damn nuisance these leaves, collecting ’ere every day. Takes me all my time to make sure this place is clean and tidy.’
Maud put her head down and walked on, aware she needed to get to Stella’s place as quickly as possible and make arrangements for Alice. She felt a bit numb inside still, but that painting had lifted her out of her ordinary life and her worry over Alfred. She had never known that an object could do that to a person, but now that she knew it was there she could come back as often as she needed. All right, she was no nearer finding Alfred with every day that went by, but she wouldn’t give up. She would never give up hope.
17
‘I attribute my success to this – I never gave or took any excuse.’
Florence Nightingale
‘Look, Maud, I’m a woman of my word,’ said Stella. ‘Of course your friend can come and stay with us here, so long as she’s willing to pitch in and help Ma with the kitchen duties. I think it’s a bit of a shame that half-sister of mine couldn’t keep her on a bit longer at the hospital, though. Surely they need all the help they can get on those wards, packed out with patients and all sorts going on.’
‘Well, to be fair,’ said Maud, ‘it isn’t just Miss Houston’s decision. There’s all the other senior staff as well.’
‘Frosty-faced, strait-laced lot,’ laughed Stella. ‘It’s time they started to live in the real world. Women get pregnant all the time through no fault of their own. It just happens.’
‘I know,’ said Maud, ‘but rules are rules, and Miss Nightingale has set the standards and made the rules.’
‘Mmm,’ said Stella, clearly not convinced. ‘Anyway, bring the lass along and let’s get her settled. By the sound of it, the sooner you get her out of that place the better.’
Once Maud had Alice safely installed at Stella’s and Alice was making herself at home, Stella invited Maud into the warm kitchen before she went back to the hospital. Sitting around the freshly scrubbed table with a cup of tea, Maud felt able to shift her focus back to finding Alfred.
‘Stella, I need to tell you something about Alfred. You know I said he was settled at the school? Well, he’s gone missing.’
‘Has he? What, from the Blue Coat?’
‘Yes,’ said Maud, filling her in on all the details of the boy’s disappearance and their theory about Greer’s involvement.
‘I’m so sorry to hear that, for the boy’s sake and for yours. I know how close you were to him, Maud. Even on the ward I could see that. So what’s the plan?’
‘We’ve put out handbills and made some enquiries, and I regularly walk by the sweep’s house on Market Street just hoping that I might see something. But there has been no sign, and you know how vast this city is: it feels an almost impossible task to start a search. Is there anywhere at all that you think a missing boy might be?’
‘There are so many places,’ said Stella. ‘They often congregate around here, near the station. It’s a regular place for begging. You see some desperate cases … and then there’s the Irish quarter. Those poor people are forced to live in bad conditions and I’ve heard tell of gangs of street children round there. The thing is, Maud, a lass like you can’t just roam off into those areas of the city on your own. You need some kind of guide. I know a few fellas who could help you look for the boy. They’ve been helping me when some of our women have gone missing. You met one of them in the pub that night when you came to find me—’
‘I know who you mean,’ said Maud, cutting her short, and not wanting to tell her that she had already known Harry Donahue before that night. ‘I was thinking of asking him. He has a dog as well. Maybe it might be some use in finding a missing boy, I don’t know.’
‘Good idea,’ said Stella. ‘I know the dog too. It was at my place for a bit when it had an injured paw. Do you want me to ask Harry?’
‘No, that’s all right,’ answered Maud. ‘I know where to find him. He’s usually in that same pub, isn’t he?’
‘Well, he’s been in there regular this last few weeks, with that nurse, that one with the prissy face and the blond hair. She’s been tagging along with him.’
‘I know who you mean,’ said Maud instantly, not wanting any further conversation. ‘I will go in there and look for him this evening.’
Maud did find Harry that evening, but she didn’t even have to go into the pub in the end. As she approached he was rolling out through the door with Nancy on his arm. Swaying around like some hopeless drunk, he didn’t seem to know where he was. She couldn’t speak to him in that state and she felt something harden inside her as she saw Nancy stare across at her and then move in closer to Harry’s side, making sure that Maud saw how she could snuggle up to him. Maud could see the man was blind drunk and he would have snuggled up to anybody in that state, but she still had to struggle to keep herself calm. She would never have let Nancy be able to tell that she was troubled by seeing them together in the street, and she would still ask Harry to help her, which she knew would rile Nancy.
There was no point talking to Harry in that state, but tomorrow after finishing on the ward, she and Eddy would visit Alice in her new quarters, and then she’d take her friend with her to track down Harry. She hoped he would have had time to sober up by then.
As she made her way swiftly along the corridor between wards the next morning she almost walked straight into Stella, who was coming in the opposite direction with a worried look on her face.
‘Is everything all right?’ Maud asked, her voice full of concern.
‘Oh, hello, Maud. Sorry, didn’t see you there … No, not really. Well, Alice is fine, but another of my girls has gone missing. She hasn’t been seen since last night. I need to see Ada about this right away.’
‘Sorry to hear that,’ said Maud, then calling after Stella as she hurried on her way, ‘I’ll see you later.’
‘What’s up with Miss Mouse?’ said Stella, coming in through Ada’s door after going by the desk of the small-faced woman who was trying to stop herself from crying.
‘I assume you mean my clerk, Emily,’ said Ada, looking up from her paperwork.
‘Yes, Emily, that’s the one. She appears to be crying – what’s up with her?’
‘She was very fond of my little dog, who died yesterday. She used to walk him.’
‘I’m very sorry to hear that,’ said Stella, her face falling. ‘And are you all right?’
‘Yes, yes, of course, the dog was very old,’ said Ada a bit too quickly.
Stella gave her a look. ‘It’s all right to be sad, you know. Yes, it’s a dog and not a person, but it was still a living creature. I mean, not that many weeks ago I would have been telling you not to be daft, there’s far worse things in our world, all you need to do is take a walk through the streets and see the tiny kids in rags begging for food or the poor women on the street. But, you know what? I’ve just been looking after a mutt that some fella left at our place. I didn’t think much of it at first but in three days I fell in love with that thing with its scraggy coat and its dangly legs. So, yeah, I can understand a bit now how you must be feeling, Ada. You might need to cry.’
Ada just nodded and then looked up at this half-sister of hers, whom she hadn’t wanted to get to know and swore that she would never like. And now look at them. All that she could feel was warmth and admiration. How ridiculous life could be, she thought. You think you know what’s best, you think you’ve got things sorted, but then – and this is even more important the older you get – you realize that in fact you haven’t even begun to know or understand much at all.
‘Anyway, the thing is,’ said Stella, ‘another of my girls has gone missing. She went out last night – it was her evening off – and I know for sure that she was in the pub across from Lime Street earlier on but then she didn’t come back. She’s been with me and Ma for years. She’s trustworthy and reliable; she’s my friend. She’s got red hair and she’s called Laura. I know that this isn’t right, Ada. She must have been taken by those men. They must have got her as well.’
Ada could see that this woman really meant something to Stella.
‘I’m sorry to hear that, Stella,’ she said, frowning. ‘I did make enquiries about the Lock Hospital. One of the doctors here, a Mr Fawcett, he works over there as well and he assured me that they had appropriate reasons for taking all admissions related to the Contagious Diseases Acts. But clearly you are concerned and it sounds like you have good reason to be. It’s difficult to get in there and get the full information, but I’ll have another go. I have a friend, another superintendent, who knows how to get access. You leave it with me and I will come to you at your place if and when I have any news.’
Stella nodded and then tried to wipe away her tears without Ada seeing.
‘I thought you said it was all right to cry,’ said Ada, getting up from behind her desk and, small as she was, reaching up and giving her half-sister a hug.
‘It is all right for you to cry, but I usually try not to,’ said Stella, starting to laugh and then holding on to Ada for as long as she could before they would both need to pull away and get on.
Maud did not hesitate outside the door to the pub later that evening, after she’d reassured herself that Alice was settling in really well at Stella’s. She pushed her way straight in with Eddy following close behind. The pub was packed full of men and full of smoke, but she ploughed her way through, knowing that he would be in there somewhere. Sure enough, she eventually spotted the dark-green jacket and she could hear him ranting on to the other men. Did he never shut up?
She tapped him on the shoulder and he whirled around smiling, until he saw her face.
‘Can I talk to you outside?’ she said, before turning on her heel, grabbing Eddy, who had started chatting to some fella, and making her way straight back out through the door. She knew that Harry would follow; she had seen his shocked face and then the instant gleam in his eye.
When she turned to face the pub door, still holding Eddy’s arm, she saw it swing open and he was there with the dog beside him. They both looked up at her expectantly and then they walked over side by side.
‘I’ll leave you to it,’ said Eddy. ‘I’ll see you later.’
Maud saw Harry and the dog look after Eddy a bit wistfully, as if he thought that she might be an ally, someone who might be able to save him from whatever was coming from Maud. She waited till he was up close, until he was looking her in the eye, and then she had to lay aside all of the things she wanted to say about his drunken, disgraceful behaviour, rolling out of the pub with Nancy, and not smile exactly but at least be civil. Because she needed his help.
‘I need to ask you a favour. You remember you said that I could, if I ever needed help?’
‘Of course,’ said Harry, his face full of concern but showing a little fear too, as if he was picking up on what was inside Maud’s head, the things that she wasn’t going to say but which were still screaming out at him anyway.
‘Well, I need to find someone, a boy who is under my care. He has gone missing and I need someone to help me look. I can pay you.’
‘You will not pay me,’ Harry said, ‘not after what you did for my dog. You will not pay me a penny.’
‘Well, we’ll see … Can you help me?’ asked Maud stiffly.
‘Of course,’ Harry said. ‘We could use the dog as well. She hasn’t got much of a nose on her, but it might be worth a try.’
‘I wondered about that,’ said Maud, sticking a hand in her pocket and pulling out the small, brown sock that Alfred had left in the bed that day he was discharged from hospital. When Maud had brought it out of the drawer where she had carefully stashed it after forgetting to give it to Alfred when she visited him at the school, she had felt very sad. Now, seeing it again, out here in the street with Harry and the dog, she felt even worse as she handed it over. Harry let the dog have a sniff at it before he pushed it carefully in his pocket.
