The Liverpool Nightingales, page 15
Maud nodded, and Alice said, almost too loudly, ‘We do, we do.’
Maud was just clearing her throat to speak when the woman with red hair got up from her seat and walked over to where they were stood by the door, putting her arm around Maud’s shoulders. Maud felt her face start to flush and then she turned to the woman. She smelt lovely, some kind of perfume that Maud had never smelt before, and close up her skin looked so clear and so beautiful. And even though her lips were painted red they were soft and when she began to speak Maud couldn’t take her eyes off them. She felt like she was being hypnotized.
‘Look,’ said the woman, ‘I know you must be feeling a bit worried coming to this place, but remember, we are all women together, just like you and all the nurses and the thousands and thousands of other working women in this city. We all need to make a living.’
Maud bowed her head slightly, starting to feel ashamed that she felt so uncomfortable around the women, but it had been drilled into her so many times by so many people, the worst thing that can happen is that you will get mixed up with some man and then end up being disgraced and then out on the streets. A fallen woman. But these women seemed to be at ease with themselves and not desperate. In fact, they were nice, from what she could see.
‘Don’t worry,’ said the woman, ‘I can understand what you are thinking and you are right, there are some desperate cases out there on the streets: women who have no other choice. That’s what people see and that’s what ordinary women are fed as they grow up: you stay pure or else. But all I ask is that you look around here and then make your mind up. Try to get to know us a bit.’
‘I already know Stella,’ said Maud, smiling.
‘There you go,’ said the woman, giving Maud’s shoulder a squeeze. ‘You already know the boss’s daughter, you’re “well in” here already.’
‘Thank you,’ said Maud, sensing the genuine warmth that came from the woman and wanting in her heart to make some connection with her, but unable to find any other words to say.
‘Tea up,’ said Stella, reappearing at the door and almost bumping into Alice. Then seeing Eddy sprawling on one of the settees she said, ‘I see you’ve made yourself right at home. I was going to offer a job to Maud but I think you might be a better candidate.’
Eddy smiled, grabbed her hat and jumped up, saying, ‘It was nice to meet you all,’ to the women, and then followed Maud and Alice, who had left the room straight away, close on the heels of Stella.
The room they were led into looked like a small dining room; it had a polished table and velvet drapes to the window. Maud was surprised at how clean and tidy it was. Stella gestured for them each to take a seat around the table where a tray of tea and what smelt like freshly baked biscuits stood. When they all had cups of tea in front of them she looked around the table at each of them in turn and then directly at Maud. It was time to speak.
‘First,’ said Maud, ‘I need everyone here to swear to secrecy. None of this can go beyond these four walls.’
Stella nodded her understanding.
‘Right,’ said Maud, placing a hand on her friend’s arm. ‘We’re here about Alice. She’s with child – about four months, we think – and she has no idea if there is anything that can be done about it or what she should do.’
‘I see,’ said Stella, shifting her gaze to Alice, who slumped back in her chair and then, to Maud’s horror, began to sob.
‘Alice, Alice,’ said Maud, ‘I’m so sorry. We are just trying to help.’
‘It’s all right,’ said Stella. ‘Just let her cry if she needs to.’ Then to Alice: ‘I bet you’ve been keeping this secret for a long, long time.’
‘Yes,’ hiccuped Alice, tears streaming down her face.
‘Well,’ said Stella, ‘if it’s any help at all I’ve sat here with dozens of women in your situation. I take it there is no father of the baby on the scene?’
‘No,’ said Maud gently, when Alice couldn’t reply.
‘Well, as you can imagine, some of the women who sit here are in my line of business and often they have no idea who the father of the baby is anyway, never mind if he is on the scene or not. So you are very far from the only person to be in this situation. The thing is that most of those women who have sat in this very room – some of whom have gone on to have their babies and some of whom have not – the important thing is, they have all come through the experience … and, Alice, you will too.’
‘But sometimes I think I want to get rid of it. I don’t want it now, I just want it gone.’
‘I can fully understand how you are feeling,’ said Stella. ‘Many of the women I’ve known have said exactly the same thing. But the truth is, yes, there are things that you can take – powders and pills, gin, hot baths – and then there are the women in the backstreets with their sharp needles. My girls have tried all of them over the years and what we have found is that mostly the pills and powders don’t work. It’s up to you, but please, please, think carefully before you visit the women with the needles because that is very dangerous indeed. Many women die that way; some of mine have died.’
Alice had stopped crying, just at the point when Maud fully expected that she would have cried even more. She seemed to be calming down and she had been really listening to what Stella had said.
‘I see,’ said Alice at last. ‘It’s very much as I thought then: there is little that I can do about it. I just can’t stand the thought of somebody sticking a needle up inside me. I’m scared enough of the birthing as it is, but the thought of that is terrifying. I think I would die from shock, if nothing else. But how on earth can I have a baby? I have no family that will help me and I love my nursing. I don’t want to have to give that up.’
‘I know there are no easy answers. If it was safe to go to the women with their needles then that would be a different matter. It’s all down to you making a choice – and you’re right that there isn’t much of a choice – but, as I say, I’ve known many women go through it and come out the other side. I mean you’re not showing that much yet. You could carry on working for longer, for as long as you can, and then, well, if you want, we can always do with someone to help with the cleaning and tidying round here. If you wanted to come to us then we could provide you with food and shelter whilst the baby comes. We couldn’t pay you but you could have board and lodging. We’ve delivered many a live one here in this very house. Some women keep their babies, some women don’t. There is no way that you will know what you will want to do yet, no way. But let me say this to you, Alice. Even though this feels terrible right now, you have good friends around you and that means a great deal. And you know what? Over the years I’ve seen a surprising number of women go through all kinds of tragedies and I have seen them emerge victorious. We women are strong, Alice, we are very strong. We have to be.’
Maud had been almost holding her breath all the time that Stella was speaking to Alice. Now she had a warm glow running right through her body. She had never heard anyone speak like that before. It was inspiring. She took a deep breath and then reached for Alice’s hand and gave it a squeeze. Alice turned to her and they both smiled.
Maud could see that Eddy had been listening too and, for once, she was sitting still and not interrupting. Then she piped up, ‘And, Alice, if you come here to Stella’s I could come and help too. I can’t wait to be given the chance to deliver a baby. I would love to help.’
‘See,’ said Stella, ‘there’s help coming from all sides now. It will take time, but what you need to do is try to get a grip of your situation, accept it and get on with it. That’s all I can say.’
‘Thank you,’ said Alice, standing up from her chair and reaching over to Stella. ‘Thank you.’
‘You are more than welcome,’ said Stella. ‘I said to Maud when I met her on the ward, if you need anything come to me. Who knows what we women have to deal with in life? And when I saw how Maud was on that ward, and what she was doing for that young lad who is no kin of hers, I thought how wonderful, how generous, and so I made the offer, expecting she might need some help with the boy or her love life.’ Maud felt her face flush instantly. ‘But it turned out to be you and your baby. And if we can help we will. Now let’s have a look at you before you go. I’ve seen so many pregnant bellies I seem to be getting a bit of a name for myself round here. Lie yourself down on that settee there in the corner and let’s have a look.’
So Alice lay down and pulled up her skirt, bunching it up and barely able to see over the top of it.
‘Right,’ said Stella, with Eddy leaning in very close, breathing down her neck. ‘Let’s see if we can tell how far on you are. What I need to do is feel for the top of the womb, see how much it’s grown. Right, yes, I can feel it right there between that bone low down, there, and your belly button. Put your hand down, Alice, press in a bit, can you feel it?’
‘Yes,’ said Alice, ‘I can.’
‘Right, so that means you must be about four months gone.’
‘That sounds about right,’ said Alice.
‘Can I have a feel?’ said Eddy, unable to contain herself any longer.
‘All right,’ said Alice, starting to laugh as Eddy pressed a hand firmly into her belly. ‘I can feel it too,’ she said, breaking into a grin. ‘Do you want to have a go, Maud?’
‘No, that’s all right,’ said Maud, thinking that Alice had been prodded and poked quite enough already for one day.
‘So you should feel some “quickening” soon then,’ said Stella.
‘What’s that?’ said Alice, feeling with her hand again for the top of her womb.
‘The first movements of the baby. Women say it feels like a butterfly inside, very light and fluttery at first, then as the baby grows it will get stronger.’
‘I have felt something a bit like that, I think … and I can feel it now; it’s fluttering. I can feel it, I can feel it,’ said Alice, breaking into a smile and then starting to cry. Then they were all smiling and crying in a mixed-up way together as the new life inside Alice’s belly made itself known for the very first time.
‘That’s the baby,’ said Alice, ‘my baby.’ And there was no need for anyone to ask any more questions about what decision she would make.
10
‘If you are a Nurse, Nurses ought not to be dressy, whether in or out of their uniform.’
Florence Nightingale
‘I’ve thought of something,’ said Maud to Alice as they walked to work together the next day. There had been no Nancy at breakfast that morning, no sight or sound of her, and Maud could tell that Alice was dreading having to see her again and still saying that she didn’t want Maud or anyone else to speak to her about what had been going on.
‘What?’ said Alice, looking even paler than usual that morning and seeming distracted.
‘Why don’t we go to Miss Merryweather or Miss Houston together and tell them about your situation? Then there would be nothing that Nancy could hold over you, nothing at all.’
Alice glanced at Maud, horrified. ‘No,’ she said, ‘not yet, it’s too soon. And they will just tell me to leave straight away, you know they will.’
‘Not necessarily,’ said Maud. ‘They might well be much more understanding than you think.’
‘They might not,’ said Alice. ‘They might well give me my marching orders and I want to work – I need to work – for as long as I can.’
‘I suppose,’ said Maud, still thinking. ‘Well, what if we tell Nancy that we have already told Miss Merryweather, that she knows all about it?’
‘That’s lying,’ said Alice.
‘So?’ said Maud, linking her arm. ‘So what, if it keeps Nancy off your back?’
‘I suppose …’ said Alice, still sounding very unsure.
In the end it seemed that, for the time being, they didn’t have to say anything else to anyone. Nancy was already on the ward when they arrived and she smiled in their direction. Straight away Maud wondered what she’d been up to, but Alice just seemed relieved. It made Maud worry about the hold that Nancy appeared to have over her friend and other people too. Was it just her who could see those cold, blue eyes above that smile?
‘Maybe you’re right,’ said Alice, anxious not to cause any more trouble. ‘If she mentions it again I’ll tell her that the superintendents know and see what she thinks about that.’
‘All right then,’ said Maud, not trusting Nancy for one minute and wondering what exactly she was up to.
‘Now, you new probationers …’ said Sister Law, glancing around the group with an eagle eye. ‘Alice Sampson, why are you so pale and can you not do something about your cap? It always looks so limp.’ Maud saw Alice go even paler.
‘Ah, Nurse Linklater,’ said Sister, ‘I’m afraid I need to have a word with you and I will do that now in front of the group because it will be a reminder to others also.’ Maud felt her stomach tighten as she racked her brains for what she could have possibly done wrong. In that split second she looked up and saw how Nancy’s eyes were shining, and she knew that she had been meddling.
‘Nurse Linklater, did I or did I not ask you specifically to leave a drink by the bed of Mr Clifford, the patient whom you escorted to theatre yesterday?’
‘Yes, and I—’
‘No ands or buts please, Nurse Linklater,’ continued Sister, riding over what Maud was about to say in her own defence, knowing full well that she had followed the instruction and not only had she left the drink there but she had been back to help Mr Clifford take more fluid a number of times.
‘Can you explain why there was no drink on the man’s bedside table as instructed? Can you tell me why I had to get the drink myself and ensure that Mr Clifford took enough fluid to wash out the remains of his bladder stone? Thank goodness that I was extremely late off the ward and the patient had started to groan with the pain that alerted me to his plight. I got the fluid in straight away and prevented him going back into obstruction. Do you realize what could have happened, Nurse Linklater? Do you realize that your inattention may even have proved fatal for the poor man? If it wasn’t for your exemplary conduct so far I would have been forced to bring the issue to the attention of Miss Merryweather. As it is, you are new and you have a lot to learn, and we will leave it at that.’
Maud couldn’t speak, even though she knew for certain that she had done all that she could for Mr Clifford. She still felt ashamed and her face was flushed red. She stood in the group with her head down, knowing that it would be worse to try to contradict Sister. Clearly someone had moved the drink to get her into trouble and she knew, of course, exactly who that person was. So she let Sister’s words wash over her and she stood there and took it.
When the tirade was finished Maud lifted her head and simply said, ‘I will make sure next time, Sister,’ and then she looked straight at Nancy, staring into her glinting eyes until Nancy was forced to look away.
‘Just one more thing,’ said Sister, continuing to glance around the group. ‘All of you, take note of Nurse Sellers’ appearance today. Of course she is always neat and tidy, but today she is particularly well turned out and her cap is perfect. You, Nurse Sampson, take note in particular.’
Maud’s hand balled into a fist as she saw Nancy look over at Alice and then she felt her stomach tighten when she saw her friend try to smile at Nancy.
‘One more thing,’ said Sister Law. ‘Let me remind you that this afternoon you will all be required to attend Mr Fawcett’s second lecture. Make sure that you are assembled on the ground floor of the Nurses’ Home at four p.m. promptly, are you clear? Four p.m.’
‘Yes, Sister,’ chorused the nurses before they got on with their duties.
Maud and Alice arrived back at the Nurses’ Home just in time for the lecture to find all probationers assembled, apart from Eddy, of course, and they quietly slipped in at the back, hoping that they hadn’t been seen.
‘Right, you nurses,’ called Mr Fawcett over the heads of the group, ‘let’s get started on our topic.’
‘Sorry, sorry,’ shouted Eddy, arriving breathless at the back and sliding into position next to Maud.
‘Right then, nurses, just a reminder,’ said Mr Fawcett, glaring at Eddy on the back row. ‘Lest we forget, let me remind you all of the importance of being ON TIME. Being on time is an important part of ward routine. If we were all late then nothing would get done, would it now?’ he added, looking straight at Eddy again, who just smiled back at him. ‘The best Sisters on the ward are never late and never flustered. Bear that in mind, nurses, bear that in mind … Now last time we talked about the application of leeches and the administration of enemas. I hope you’ve all been practising.’
Maud and Eddy exchanged glances.
‘Just a reminder, in relation to the leeches, and this has been brought to my attention by a number of ward Sisters: please, please be very careful where you apply them. DO NOT apply them to the very vascular places, the ones that have a good blood supply, or your patient will continue to bleed. Can anyone tell me what the favoured sites for application of leeches are? Yes, you there, on the front row …’
‘The sternum, the instep and behind the ear.’
Maud and Alice raised eyebrows at each other as they instantly recognized Nancy’s voice.
‘Yes, very good: the sternum, the instep and behind the ear. Other places may be used but only if directed by a doctor. And for some reason, and I cannot understand this, some of the younger doctors are no longer in favour of using leeches; they have other ideas. But in my view there is nothing to be lost and everything to be gained from bleeding a patient. Now, always remember to pick a lively leech, not one that’s half dead, and remember that if the patient won’t stop bleeding there are things that can be used. What are these? Does anyone know what can be used to stop bleeding from the site? You there at the back, the one that was late …’
Eddy looked dumbstruck, opening and closing her mouth in silence.
‘Well,’ said Mr Fawcett, ‘come on, dazzle us.’
