The Liverpool Nightingales, page 22
15
‘It seems a commonly received idea among men and even women themselves that it requires nothing but a disappointment in love, the want of an object, a general disgust, or incapacity for other things, to turn a woman into a good nurse.’
Florence Nightingale
Maud got up extra early the next morning. She was always ‘up with the lark’, Cook used to say, but she had started to soften a bit since she had come to the hospital. Well, now was her chance to get back to her usual standards. First up, first ready, first to work, she thought as she marched down the stairs to the dining room with her mouth still set in the firm line that had persisted from when she left the park the evening before. She was first there and sitting in an empty dining room, waiting for the kitchen staff to catch up with her requirements, which were not great: a meagre bowl of thin porridge and a cup of tea, that’s all she would be having from now on.
She was up from the table and heading back up the stairs to her room before Eddy and Alice were out of their rooms. She had already told Eddy that she would be making her own way to the ward. Eddy understood. She knew that her rushing and lateness didn’t suit other people and she was used to running along to the ward on her own each morning. Maud wanted to get to the ward extra early because above all she did not want to have to see Nancy Sellers coming out of her room or sitting in the dining room with that smug expression on her face. She most certainly did not want to see her at all.
Sister Pritchard was already on the ward, taking report from the night staff, when Maud arrived. Sister looked up and smiled at her probationer before putting her head back down into conversation with the night Sister. Maud walked down the ward, ready to make a start. She could see a couple of empty beds that needed stripping. One of the beds had been occupied by Lil. She must have gone home, thought Maud. She was glad to get back to work and felt that she needed to throw herself into it, lose herself. She swore to herself that there would be no other life from now on, apart from helping her friends and finding Alfred. She would work hard – harder than anyone else – and that would be it. There would be nothing else.
True to her word, Maud went straight over to one of the empty beds and starting stripping off the sheets with some vigour. She was just tackling the pillowslip when she heard a voice calling to her quietly. She knew instantly it was Martha. Maud had walked past her bed, thinking that she was asleep so she hadn’t said good morning, but now she could see she was wide awake and trying to sit up in bed.
‘Are you all right?’ said Maud. ‘Do you want me to help you?’
‘No, no, I’m fine, I can sort myself out … but what’s happened to you since I last saw you? You look like you’ve been well and truly through the mill.’
‘What? Oh, nothing really, no,’ Maud tried to say but Martha was having none of it.
‘Look,’ she said, ‘I saw you leave the ward yesterday and I asked your friend where you were, and she said you weren’t well, but I could tell by her face there was more to it than that. Now, seeing you looking like you’ve seen a ghost, well, I know that for sure. Do you want to tell me? You know what they always say: a trouble shared is a trouble halved.’
‘No, honestly, I’m fine, and you’ve got enough troubles of your own.’
‘Now then, I’m not having that from you nor nobody. I’ve always had troubles – every family I know has troubles – but I’ve always wanted to try and help other people as well. I know there are some as only look to their own, but I’m not one of ’em and even though I’m in here and probably going to be dying soon, I still want to do what I’ve allus done and that’s give a helping hand if I can. All I can do is listen, but in my experience being willing to give a good listen to anybody is a sure way of helping. Now the others won’t be here for a bit yet so spit it out.’
It didn’t seem that she had any other choice, so Maud crouched down by the side of Martha’s bed and started quietly to pour out all that had happened with Alfred.
When she was finished Martha reached out a hand and gave Maud’s arm a squeeze. Then she said, ‘Well, I know it is a big worry. Even though the lad isn’t your own kin, it does sound like you’ve really taken to him. And there is nothing I can say that will make you feel much better. I can’t give you any guarantee that the lad will come back safe. But there are many people in this city of ours who are good people. Yes, there’s some wrong ’uns as well, but there’s more good people who might help a youngster who is lost or needs help. And from what you’ve told me about the boy, he is a special one. He has an old head on young shoulders. He will be thinking things through as well. Young as ’e is, he will get back to you and that Miss Fairchild if he possibly can. There is a chance he might be being held somewhere. One of mine went missin’ when he was a lad. He was gone for weeks. I thought he was dead, but he’d been picked up off the street. He was about nine or ten, and he’d got a job as a messenger boy for the Cotton Exchange. He was doing right well with it and then one day he was out running an errand and he was grabbed by a gang, who wanted him to go climbing into houses, robbing stuff. He was locked up for weeks before he managed to escape. But he was a lad with a level head, a bit like your Alfred. He bided his time and then he got away. I’ll never forget that day he came back and he bobbed up outside the window when I was peelin’ the potatoes. Best day of my life when he came back. So your lad might well just turn up one day. Have you got somebody who can help you look? Somebody who knows all parts of the city?’
‘Oh, yes, yes, I know a woman who lives near Lime Street Station, and there’s a man that I know as well who might be able to help, and I’ll never stop looking,’ said Maud.
‘Good girl,’ said Martha. ‘Now I’m glad that you told me all of that. You look more like yourself already, and I want you to remember summat. I won’t always be sat on this ward ready to push you into talking – in fact Sister says I might be able to go home today – so you think on: always talk about things if you can. Don’t keep it locked up inside. Now then, you’d best get yourself shifting. I can see Sister Pritchard looking down the ward and she’s wondering what us two are up to down ’ere.’
‘Thanks,’ said Maud quietly. ‘Thanks, you have really helped me.’
Martha smiled and then lay back on the pillow and closed her eyes.
‘Leave that bed, Nurse Linklater,’ called Sister Pritchard. ‘We have a patient going into theatre. I want you to go in with her and assist.’
‘Yes, of course,’ said Maud, feeling an instant sense of purpose as she walked back down the ward, glad to be asked to do a job that she was increasingly confident with. It was an orderly kind of work, which she liked. Following a procedure was very satisfying to her and she knew that once she was in through the door of that operating room she would be able to stop thinking and worrying about everything in the outside world. That was exactly what she needed right now.
It was well into the afternoon before Maud emerged from theatre. The first case had been complex and then they’d had another one to follow, and they had just started using some new techniques to try to keep the operating room clean. There was more washing down and scrubbing to do and they were using a spray of something called carbolic acid. Mr Jones had read somewhere that using it helped prevent the wounds from festering and it might help keep more people alive. It was too soon to know if it was making any difference but Sister Pritchard had already been keeping a record of the patients who had operations and what the outcome had been for them. She had showed Maud where she had drawn a thick line in the book at the point where they had started using the carbolic acid. That way, they would have some idea whether it helped. Maud was, of course, all in favour of improving cleanliness. She loved to give anything a good scour, particularly if she had some worry on her mind.
Coming back on to the ward always felt to Maud like coming back into the real world. She was instantly more aware of the patients crowded in, the activity of the nurses and the noise. It was visiting time as well. Only one person was allowed in at once on this ward and Maud could see the broad back of a man sitting by Martha’s bed. That must be her son, she thought.
‘Maud,’ shouted a familiar voice from the far end of the ward. It was Eddy, smiling away and gesturing, a bit too dramatically in Maud’s opinion, for her to go down the ward.
‘We’re stripping the beds down here,’ she shouted again. ‘Some patients are being discharged.’
Before Maud could move, she felt someone quietly place a hand on her arm. It was Sister Pritchard. ‘Yes,’ she said with a note of gentle amusement in her voice, ‘Nurse Pacey can always be relied upon to let everyone know exactly what we are doing at any given moment. She is always enthusiastic, I’ll give her that. I lent her out to the lying-in ward. They said she was excellent there with the women in labour: she just got on with it. The patients are, as you would expect, fairly noisy on there so our Nurse Pacey fitted right in. She will make an excellent midwife – I have already told her that – she is an absolute marvel.’
Maud was already smiling at what Sister Pritchard had just said. She knew that Eddy was a very special person, but she also knew that it was an exhausting experience to spend too much time with her all at once.
‘Yes, she is amazing with the new mothers,’ said Maud. ‘I’ll go down and help her with the beds, then, shall I?’
‘Yes, but you might want to take a few minutes first to say goodbye to Martha. I know you have a soft spot for her. I’ve just spoken to her son. She is going home today. Sadly, there is nothing more that we can do for her here. She has a huge cancer in her abdomen; it’s just a matter of time.’
Maud felt her stomach tighten. So Martha had been right: there was nothing that could be done; she was dying. ‘Thank you, Sister,’ Maud said, mustering as bright a voice as she could. ‘I’ll go and say goodbye.’
She was just in time. Martha was busy directing her son to put all her bits and pieces of belongings into a small bag. Maud stood by the bottom of the bed until they were finished and when Martha saw her she said, ‘Maud, Nurse Linklater, this is my son. This is Gordon, the one I told you about, the one who went missing.’
‘Mam, that was a long time ago,’ said Gordon. ‘What else has she been tellin’ you?’
‘Nothing else, I promise,’ said Maud, matching the warm smile on Gordon’s face. She could see the affection he had for his mother right there on his face.
‘Now then,’ said Martha, ‘Sister has probably told you that I’m going home today, and I’m going to stay with Gordon and his lot for a few weeks.’
Gordon gave Maud a glance that told her he fully understood what was going on with his mother, and she wondered if he knew that Martha understood just as well – in fact had worked it all out some time ago.
‘So I just want to say thank you again, Nurse Linklater, for all you did for me the other day. And you remember, don’t keep things bottled up, talk to somebody,’ said Martha when she was at last sure that Gordon had packed everything to her satisfaction.
‘I won’t forget,’ said Maud, leaning down to Martha as she beckoned for her to come closer so that she could speak in her ear.
‘Don’t you worry about me,’ she whispered. ‘Gordon told me what they said, I know what’s happening and it’s as I thought, but I will be fine. Sister gave me some of those drops to take if the pain comes back. So don’t worry, I will be well looked after.’
Maud felt tears springing to her eyes but she fought to keep them at bay. She knew that it wouldn’t help Martha or Gordon if she started crying. So, instead, she gave Martha a kiss on her cheek and said, ‘Goodbye. I won’t forget what you said.’
Martha stretched up a hand and gently stroked Maud’s cheek, and then she whispered, ‘I hope you find the lad and I hope that things work out with that young man that you mentioned. He will be a lucky man indeed if he ends up with someone like you.’
‘But he’s not my—’
‘Maybe not yet,’ said Martha, ‘but an old woman like me knows stuff. I saw your face when you spoke about him and I knew.’
Maud shook her head but she couldn’t help but smile.
‘Right then,’ said Gordon, ‘let’s get you back home. We’ve got some stone flags that need scrubbin’ and a batch of bread to make.’
Seeing the look of surprise on Maud’s face Gordon immediately explained, ‘Of course not. She’s going straight on to a bed near the fire, is this one, whether she likes it or not.’
Then Gordon slipped the small bag over his shoulder, stooped down to wrap a blanket around his mother and then he swept her up off the bed. He picked her up as easy as anything and not until that moment did Maud realize how thin the woman was. She was tiny.
‘Are you going to be able to carry her all the way home?’ said Maud, concerned.
‘Well, I carried her here,’ he said, ‘and that was in a bit of a rush, so I can take her home. She’s as light as a feather and we only live two streets away.’
‘All right then,’ said Maud. ‘You take care, Martha.’
‘I will that,’ she said. ‘I just need to be with the family now, and don’t you be worrying about me, Maud. You’ve got enough to worry about.’
And then Gordon nodded a goodbye and Maud watched as he turned his back and strode down the ward, carrying his mother. He carried her so steadily but with such tenderness, as if she was the most important thing in the world, that it brought tears to Maud’s eyes. She stood there wondering if she would ever have anyone in her life that would care for her so much.
Feeling a hand on her arm, Maud turned to find Eddy. ‘They are a good family, aren’t they, Maud?’ she said quietly.
Maud nodded and quickly wiped the tears from her eyes with the flat of her hand. ‘Right then, Eddy, let’s get on. Where do you want me?’
Maud and Eddy worked together for the rest of the day: stripping, cleaning and making beds, dressing wounds, bandaging, giving bedpans, administering an enema and applying two poultices. Being so busy really helped Maud. She had no time to think about anything else. Then, towards the end of the shift, she saw Miss Houston appear at the top of the ward, look down in their direction and then gesture for her to come. Yes, it was definitely her and not Eddy.
‘Hey up,’ said Eddy, ‘what’ve you been up to now, Nurse Linklater?’
Maud had no idea, although she was hoping that Miss Houston might have some news about Alfred. She couldn’t read anything from the superintendent’s face; she would have thought that she would at least have something of a smile if Alfred had been found.
‘Nurse Linklater,’ said Miss Houston, ‘just step out of the ward with me for one minute, will you? I have a delicate matter to discuss.’
Maud still didn’t have any clue what the matter might be.
‘There is no need to look so worried,’ said Miss Houston, ‘but I will come straight out with it. It has been brought to my attention that one of your close friends is with child.’
Maud gasped and felt her face flush. Nancy has told her, she thought instantly.
‘No, please don’t worry. The reason I have come to you and not Nurse Sampson is that we want to manage this in the best way we can. It’s just that someone – and I can’t disclose who – has reported your friend out of concern for her condition. I don’t know how far along she is, but there really is no way of hiding the fact that she is with child. She is getting so big that Sister on Male Medical says that she can hardly bend down to make the beds.’
‘So, it was Sister who noticed then?’
‘Well, yes, but to be fair, only after she was given a tip-off by an anonymous member of staff.’
Nancy, thought Maud again, the name hissing in her head.
‘And now, of course, any number of staff have legitimate concern for her.’
‘Of course,’ said Maud, keeping her voice steady. ‘I understand.’
‘We just want Nurse Sampson to have the support of a friend at this time and your name has been given to me as that friend. Are we right in thinking …?’
‘Yes, yes, of course.’
‘In that case, please could you break the news of our knowledge of her condition to Nurse Sampson and bring her along to see me, in my room, this evening? Tell her not to worry. We only want to do what’s best for her and for the child.’
Maud took a deep breath to calm herself and nodded: of course she would. Now that Maud was rapidly calming down she decided it would be best if neither she nor Alice were to give Nancy the satisfaction of showing any reaction to the news, not if they could help it. After all, it had always been just a question of time before the baby made itself known. Maud had got used to seeing Alice’s big belly straining at her uniform, but it would be easy for a group of nurses to tell that she was with child. And at least it seemed that they were in the right hands. Miss Houston had a reputation for being fair and kind in that strict superintendent sort of way. She only hoped that Alice would see it like that.
‘Look, Alice,’ said Maud, sitting next to her friend on the narrow bed in her room as she cried and cried, ‘with that belly of yours growing so much in the last few weeks, everybody in the hospital was bound to notice sooner or later. And yes, of course it was probably Nancy who told in the end, but let’s not give her the satisfaction of knowing how upset you are.’
‘But I am upset,’ sobbed Alice. ‘I saw Nancy in the corridor this morning and she was on at me again about watching my step and all of that, and I told her – like you said – I told her that we had already told the superintendents, and she said, “I don’t believe you. You or that mealy-mouthed Linklater wouldn’t have the guts to go and tell a superintendent. You are lying.” That’s what she said to me. She must have gone and told Miss Houston herself and now I’ll have to leave straight away.’
